Aggression 76: Minneapolis, Minnesota - 3/20/2014

[User Poets]

[FADE TO BLACK]

[CUE UP: Overlaid voices.]

THE FIRST: This is my championship.

IMPULSE: Your time’s up.

CASTOR STRIFE: You’re all small time.

CAMERON CRUISE: That’s stolen property.

ROCKO DAYMON: My vindication is at hand.

THE FIRST: This is my show.

CRUISE: And that’s a reality check…

THE FIRST: This is my company.

CRUISE: That you just…

STRIFE: You can’t stop the inevitable.

DAYMON: I’m going to right this wrong.

CRUISE: …won’t…

STRIFE: I own this business.

IMPULSE: Every generation needs a revolution.

CRUISE: …like.

IMPULSE: This is mine.

DAYMON: I refuse to accept defeat.

THE FIRST: You lose.

[FADEIN: The EPW logo.]



[Explosions went off all around the logo, as four faces slowly ebbed into view, forming a square: Impulse in the top left, Castor V. Strife in the bottom right, Cameron Cruise in the top right, and Rocko Daymon in the bottom left.

In the middle of the area, The First appeared in the foreground while the EPW World Title belt was in the background behind him.

The screen exploded again, revealing the CAPACITY CROWD at the Target Center, in Minneapolis. Nineteen thousand, three hundred and fifty six screaming fans welcomed the EPW to Minnesota for the final Pre-Wrestleverse Aggression.

Finally, the sweeping cameras landed ringside, at DAVE THOMAS, DEAN MATTHEWS, and MIKE NEELY, standing in front of the main commentary table. Dean looked around approvingly at the fans, Mike held his hands over his ears, and Dave had a huge grin on his face while he held the microphone to his lips.]

DAVE THOMAS: WELCOME EVERYONE! We are one show removed from the end of the EPW as we know it, and tonight we’re going to see the final push toward Wrestleverse form the event as Cameron Cruise and Rocko Daymon face off against each other to determine the fourth man in the huge main event!

DEAN MATTHEWS: Both men are former World Champions, and both of them had their title reigns cut short without the courtesy of an equitable one on one. Whoever wins, the entire face of the main event changes.

DT: We’ll also see the rest of the Main Event in action in a mixed tag team triangle match as The First, Castor Strife, and Impulse team up with their respective seconds to get in one last shot at each other before they face off for all the marbles!

MIKE NEELY: No matter who wins, we lose. Unless Castor wins, then we all win.

DT: Interesting way to put it, Mike. First up, however, is the rematch for the EPW Television Championship! Rezin took the title from the man who took it from his former partner Anarky, and Malcolm Joseph – Jones is looking to get his revenge!

MN: Jones has all the tools, he could easily beat Rezin or anyone higher up in the EPW; he’s just too nice. He needs the killer instinct.

DM: He’s openly spoken about how he doesn’t respect his peers and he only cares about winning. What more do you want?

MN: The First’s head on a stick?

DM: … I don’t have a retort for that.

DT: Let’s take it up to Tony!

 

[User Poets]

TV TITLE REMATCH: Malcolm Joseph-Jones vs. Rezin

[CUE UP: “Best of the Best” by KU.]

[Purple and white lights fill the arena. A strong, mostly supportive crowd reaction greets MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES, striding out onto the stage the moment the lyrics begin. He pauses only briefly as his half brother and newly appointed advisor ELIJAH JOSEPH steps out behind him. The two exchange a brief glance and nod before coming down the ramp, MJ2 taking point and looking pumped while Elijah takes his time following.]

DT: The WAR for the Television title was declared at Aggression 75, and continues here tonight in a battle between bitter rivals, representing the polar opposites of professional wrestling! Coming to the ring now is the Juggernaut out of Jackson, Missississippi, and the symbol of greatness… Malcolm Joseph-Jones!

DM: There is fierce determination in that man’s eyes tonight! He knows he was robbed of the Television Title last year, and he’s made it known that he won’t rest until he takes it back!

MN: Yeah, it all sounds big and bad… but after all that talk about how much of a badass he was on his own, why’d he sell out and hire himself a manager?

DT: Well clearly, there are other interests involved, given the familial relations between those two… although the recently revealed Elijah Jones has still been somewhat of a mystery since he first appeared. Nobody can be certain of his motivations… although his half-brother, on the other hand, has been pretty forward on his own intentions to one day stand at the top of the Empire!

DM: And becoming a two-time Television Champion will be a great leap forward in that mission.

[As MJ2 hits the ring, he rolls and pops to his feet, pumping his arms and getting some solid feedback from the fans. A few “EM-JAY-TWO!” chants pick up in time with the music. Regardless, Malcolm jaws with the few fans still giving him the thumbs down, who haven’t recognized the greatness. In the meantime, the camera catches Elijah Jones coming around the ring to the commentary table...]

MN: Hold up, gentlemen! We’ve got company!

DT: Oh my! Uhh… scoot over, Neels! Mr. Joseph, welcome! Have a seat, and take a headset!

ELIJAH JOSEPH: Good evening, gentlemen… I was hoping I could meet with the three of you sooner or later.

DM: I think we kinda feel the same way. A lot of people are wondering what sort of things are in the mix now that you’re working with your half-brother. Are you over-seeing his training? Maybe some backstage politics while he concentrates on the ring?

EJ: Frankly, Mr. Matthews… I didn’t come out here to divulge on my affairs. At this point, I’m just gonna say that I’m simply appointed as Malcolm’s advisor… and you can take that for what it is. Tonight, though… it’s all about MJ2. It’s about about bringing the Television Title BACK to the side of greatness...

[CUE UP: “Legalise Drugs & Murder” by Electric Wizard.]

[The lights black out as the song’s opening bonghit sound effect give way to guitar feedback, and the arena lights up in strobes. The FIRES OF HELL shoot up from the stage right on the downbeat. The fans JEER as a shadow emerges through the black smoke, cackling madly in his reaper coat get-up. It’s REZIN, hoisting the bucket of sludge triumphantly over his head and bearing the Television Title around his waist worn upside down in sacrilegious defiance. Appearing close beside him is CAITLYN DAYMON, wearing a denim patch vest over a black halter and leather pants, looking like half-assed biker girl crossed with a crust punk scenester. Hooking an arm under Rezin’s, the terrible two come down the ramp side by side, mouthing off to the fans and every opportunity, with the TV Champ threatening to give somebody a disgusting faceful of black chum more than once. In the ring, MJ2 coldly stares him down with murderous RAGE...]

DT: On their way to the ring now is Empire Pro’s own match made in HELL! As if it wasn’t bad enough that the Television Title fell into the hands of the diabolical high-flying fiend REZIN… but now with an absolutely twisted person like Caitlyn Daymon in his ear, there’s no telling WHAT kind of madness is in store for the federation!

DM: However it ends… it won’t be pretty.

MN: Bah, you guys just don’t have the DEPTH of MIND to understand a guy like Rezin! EVERYTHING ENDS, Dean-O! And Rezin is professional wrestling’s GRIM REAPER! Elijah, bro, I gotta give your boy Malcolm all the props in the world… but he’s making an outright MISTAKE trying to take back the Television Title! He could have a bright career ahead of him… but all that he can possibly get from a battle with a maniac like Rezin is ruin!

EJ: You’re wrong about that, Neely… as you’ll see soon enough.

[Rezin throws off the coat and sets down the bucket before rolling under the ropes and coming to his feet. Pat Jones quickly separates the two men from immediately going nose-to-nose. Rezin breaks up the tension by unclasping the belt and taking a few opportunities to show it off to the fans, who continuously jeer him. Caitlyn, meanwhile, snatches up ring announcer Tony Fatora’s chair while he’s still standing in the ring and decides to jump in on commentary as well.]

MN: Oh boy… here comes MORE company!

DT: Oh jeez… Caitlyn Daymon! Uhh…

[She wedges herself between Dean and Dave and snatches up a headset before they can say anything.]

CAITLYN DAYMON: HELLO?! HELLO?! Is this thing on?

DT: You’re on, Caitlyn… what are you doing here?

CD: Not a bad question… although a BETTER question is what brings THIS shlub out here! I’m a seasoned MANAGER in this federation, and this poindexter thinks he can just waltz up here and shill his weak product on company time? MOMMA-BEAR doesn’t think so…

EJ: Hmph...

DT: Be as it may… this table can only realistically seat four --

CD: SSHHHH!!! SSHHHH!! There’s TALKING, you idiot!

[CUT TO: The ring, as champion and challenger stand face to face with senior official Pat Jones standing in place. Tony Fatora linger in the background, making the opening announcements.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the following contest is for the EMPIRE PRO TELEVISION TITLE!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

TF: Introducing first, the challenger… fighting out of Jackson, Mississippi, he weighs in at an astounding 290 pounds… PLEASE WELCOME… MALCOLM… JOSEPH… JOOOOOOOONNNNEEESSS!!!

Crowd: “EHM-JAAY-TWWOOOOO!!!!”

[MJ2 takes in a DEEP BREATH as the fans howl behind him, seemingly GROWING in size as he looms over his opponent.]

TF: And the opponent… hailing from Indianapolis, Indiana, and weighing in at 226 pounds… he is the EMPIRE PRO TELEVISION CHAMPION… he is the ESCAPE ARTIST… RRRRRREEEEEEEZZZZZIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!

Crowd: “REZ-IN SUCKS!! RE-ZIN SUCKS!! RE-ZIN SUCKS!! RE-ZIN SUCKS!!”

[Brazenly staring daggers back up to MJ2’s burning eyes, Rezin holds up the TV Title over his head with a single arm, like a thief crowing over his loot. A moment later, he hands it over to Pat Jones. The referee shows it to all four directions before handing it over to Fatora on his way out of the ring. With everything in place, MJ2 and Rezin back up into their corners, and the official cues the bell…]

SFX: *DING! DING!*

DT: There’s the bell to start the match, as both men come out of their corners, and begin circling around the center of the ring! MJ2 picking up the pace… Rezin skipping back on his toes, trying to keep up… and now it escalates to an all-out CHASE!

DM: MJ2 is clearly NOT messing around tonight!

EJ: He doesn’t mess around ANY night, Mr. Matthews!

DT: The challenger is closing the gap, but before he can get to him, the Television Champion sticks his head out through the ropes and practically has to yank Pat Jones in the way! MJ2, with NO patience for that kind of nonsense tonight, promptly yanks the ref to the SIDE and pulls Rezin out of the ropes!

CD: WHAT?! Where’s the call, ref?!

MN: Looks like he just wants to stay the hell out of this!

DT: MJ2 wrangling Rezin easily with his advantage in power… BIG FOREARM SHOT rocks the champ! Now he spins him around… UP and DOWN AGAIN right on the pelvic region with the ATOMIC DROP!

DM: HA! Look at Rezin SCAMPERING AWAY on his KNEES, clutching that tender region! The look on his face clearly says that his night just took a turn for the worse!

DT: Here he is reaching for the ropes, but the challenger gets a handful of that thin, blackened mop of hair on Rezin’s head and YANKS him to his feet! MJ2 trying for the waistlock… but no, the champ with an ELBOW to the abdomen! ANOTHER elbow… MJ2 stunned, as Rezin goes off the ropes -- HYUUUUGGE CLOTHESLINE FROM MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES, and the goat bastard nearly got turned inside out!

CD: Ugh…

DT: Not looking good for your client early on, Ms. Daymon!

CD: SHUT UP, Dave! Obviously, it doesn’t LOOK good! But if you weren’t such an idiot, maybe you’d realize that there’s plenty of match left!

DT: That may be, but for the time being… MJ2 scooping Rezin off the mat… hooks the LEGS -- and FLATTENS HIM with a SPINEBUSTER! The challenger, with the cover!

One!

Two!

Rezin with the shoulder up! There may be plenty of match left, Caitlyn, but I’m beginning to wonder how much of that the Television Champion can make it through before Malcolm Joseph-Jones starts pulling his ARMS off!

EJ: We needn’t be that dramatic, Mr. Thomas… but I assure y’all, it won’t be pretty.

CD: Oh give me a break… have you looked in a MIRROR lately, Four-Eyes?!

DT: Okay, knock it off, you two… we’ve got a match to call here! Malcolm Joseph-Jones, keeping up the pace, scoops the Television Champion back off the mat… no wait, Rezin hooks him around the head -- COUNTERS with a quick JAWBREAKER to leave MJ2 reeling! Joseph-Jones coming back… gets TAGGED AGAIN with a standing dropkick to the face! Rezin up, bursting forward… a SECOND dropkick to the legs takes the challenger down!

CD: NOW we’re talking!

DM: Looks like we might actually have a fight on our hands...

DT: MJ2 shaking his head as he pushes himself up to his knees, but here comes Rezin again, running at him and putting the HEEL straight to the temple to kick him over onto his back! Now to the turnbuckle… CLIMBING UP TO THE TOP! The Television Champion is going for the high-risk maneuver, pulling out all the stops to combat the size and strength of the challenger, Malcolm Joseph-Jones!

MN: He’s gotta stick to his own strengths to get through this one, and NOBODY can deny that the Escape Artist has MAD UPS!

DT: Rezin perched up top, waiting for MJ2 to rise to his feet again… Malcolm Joseph-Jones is up, turns around… here comes REZIN WITH THE DIVING CROSS-BODY BLOCK -- NO!! THE CHALLENGER CATCHES HIM OUT OF THE AIR!

MN: Uh oh…

DT: Rezin in a BAD place… MJ2 drives him DOWN ON THE KNEE -- and from the RIB-BREAKER, transitions into a POWERSLAM!! What a BEAUTIFUL one-two punch from MJ2, and he hooks the leg for the cover!

One!

Two!

Thr -- NO!! Near three count, but the crafty Television Champion managed to squirm out of it!

EJ: I have a feeling we’ll watch him squirm all night…

CD: …I’m sorry, what was your name again? Ernest? Edgerrin?

EJ: …my name is Elijah Joseph.

CD: Well, Elijah… I don’t know quite how to tell you this, but you have a REALLY boring voice, and nobody really asked for your opinion anyway, so if you could be a dear and just remember your friggin’ roll as a mute imbecile, I’d REALLY appreciate it! Kay, thanx, bai…

DM: Who said anybody asked for YOUR opinion, Caitlyn?!

DT: Back in the ring… MJ2 has been arguing with senior official Pat Jones on the count, but Pat was clear that Rezin got the shoulder up. Rezin, meanwhile, with a small window to recover, has crawled his way over to the corner and propped himself up against the bottom turnbuckle to catch his breath and protect his backside!

DM: He’s clearly not going to make the mistake of turning his back on MJ2 anymore!

DT: Here comes the challenger again, this time to finish the job he started the second the bell rang! Rezin, kicking a leg up to push him back… MJ2 just shoves it aside, and comes in with a STOMP AIMED AT THE HEAD -- NO! Rezin rolls out through the ropes at the last second, and MJ2 stepped on nothing but turnbuckle!

EJ: Hmph… so the insect scampers away, but at least he has him on the run.

MN: Well, Mr. Joseph… with all due respect to your half-brother’s abilities, assuming you’ve got the best of Rezin is one of the worst mistakes you could possibly make!

DT: MJ2 calling Rezin back in the ring… the Television Champ keeps his eyes on him, slowly circling around to the other side of the ring and letting himself catch his breath while Pat Jones goes through the count! The delay in action only seems to be aggravating Malcolm Joseph-Jones!

Crowd: “REZ-IN-SUCKS!! REZ-IN-SUCKS!! REZ-IN-SUCKS!!”

DT: The goat bastard GLARING at these fans, taunting him to go back in there and fight! Pat Jones at the count of eight now, and the Television Champ has no choice but to slide back in under the bottom rope -- and right back OUT as soon as he sees MJ2 raging right up to him! There’s no way he’s getting back into that ring without the challenger getting a free shot on him!

CD: Come on, how is this fair?!

DM: Fair or not, you can’t deny that Rezin put himself in this situation by leaving the ring…

DT: The count is reset, but Rezin has in no way progressed his position from the outside of the ring… up onto the apron now, telling Jones to hold the restless MJ2 back, and the senior official complies, only on the basis of upholding the rules… Rezin HOPS the ropes -- and here comes MJ2!! JUST BARELY takes the TV Champ’s head off with the running HAMMERBLOW, but the nimble Escape Artist rolled clear!

MN: Did you forget to give your half-brother SPEED training, Ee-Jay?!

EJ: Hmph…

DT: Rezin back on his feet… MJ2 puts himself into the ropes and comes charging across the ring, and Rezin likewise hits the other set for some speed… DUCKS a running YAKUZA KICK by the challenger that nearly took his head off! Here’s the Television Champion, JUMPING into the ropes -- SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT lays out MJ2!

CD: YES!

DT: Rezin with the lateral press!

One!

Two!

And Malcolm Joseph-Jones POWERS out! It caught him by surprise, but it will take more than that to keep the powerhouse down for three!

EJ: No reason to be concerned yet… Malcolm’s barely broken a sweat.

DT: MJ2 quickly getting back to his feet, but Rezin just a bit QUICKER -- SIDE HOOK KICK directed right at the side of the head, and the challenger only just BARELY got his hands up in time to shield the impact! It still struck him hard enough to roll him back to the canvas, groaning in pain… and the Television Champ punishes him further by landing some barefoot stomps with that hammer-like heel of his!

CD: I keep telling him… wear the BOOTS, ya idiot! It makes the stomping THAT much more effective!

DT: The reigning Television Champion, Rezin, looking to turn this match around… here he is, running off the ropes again, looking for the SOCCER KICK -- but MJ2 GETS THE HAND UP and SWEEPS HIM TO THE MAT instead! Now the challenger has him by the NECK!! MJ2, rising to his feet… lifting the GOAT BASTARD OFF THE MAT by the THROAT… aaaand, NO!! Rezin kicks BOTH DANGLING LEGS into MJ2’s abdomen, doubling him over and dropping the champ back to his feet!

EJ: What?!

MN: TOLD YA!

DT: MJ2 is stunned, and Rezin with the facelock… FACEBUSTER DDT!! And the TV Champ rises up to his knees, CACKLING MADLY into the audience! Once again, he’s scraped his way back from the edge of elimination, and taken control of the battle! The challenger, still trying to force himself up… but Rezin is looking to capitalize, as he goes into the corner and finds his spot at the top turnbuckle! MJ2 turning around… REZINRANA FROM THE TOP ROPE ROLLS HIM ONTO HIS BACK!! The Television Champion with the PIN!

ONE!

TWO!

NO! MJ2 kicks out, but looks a bit slower getting up this time!

DM: The champion is turning up the dial on this one, and the exhaustion is beginning to show on the larger Malcolm Joseph-Jones as he expends more energy trying to keep up!

CD: My man is running CIRCLES around your bro, Elwood!

EJ: Once again, my name is Elijah… and I assure you, there is no QUESTION to Malcolm’s ability to “keep up”.

DT: Rezin back on his feet first, and takes the opportunity to mug for the fans… but now he’s got his back to the challenger… MJ2 rising, and he sees an opening! MJ2 lunging -- NO!! REZIN COUNTERS WITH THE DAMASCUS HEEL!! SPINNING HEEL KICK CONNECTS, and Malcolm’s eyes ROLL BACK into his head as he drops to his knees!!

MN: OH MAN!! He’s out like a LIGHT!

CD: HAHAHAHAHA!! Beautiful! Deliberately BAITED HIM into that one!

DT: The challenger has dropped to his hands and knees, struggling to stay off the mat! The Television Champion thinking pin, but suddenly changes his mind as he circles around behind MJ2! Hands out to the sides, tongue hanging out… this could only mean the COTTONMOUTH!!

DM: And MJ2 is completely vulnerable! He’s blinking his eyes and coming to, but still shaking out the cobwebs from that stunning spinning heel kick!

DT: Rezin waiting for the right moment… MJ2 pushes back up to his knees, and here comes the champ… HEAD BACK, and NO!! MJ2 BRACES HIS ARM AGAINST THE CLAW!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

EJ: YES!

DT: Rezin grinding his way down with those fingers HOOKED and inches away from the challenger’s face… but MJ2 is GRITTING HIS TEETH like a BEAST, fighting with everything he’s got! EVERY MUSCLE pulsating… Rezin beginning to QUAKE under the strain of the power, and a look of PANIC strikes the champion’s face!

CD: NOOOO NONONONO -- !!

DT: SNAPMARE!! Rezin gets whipped HARD onto his back as MJ2 dodges the submission finish! Now the JUGGERNAUT from JACKSON has a chance to turn this match around! He’s got Rezin by the HAIR, and the TV Champ’s face goes WILD with pain! Malcolm Joseph-Jones wraps his arms around the head… GOING FOR THE GREATNESS CHOKES!! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED --

NO, WAIT… LOW BLOW by Rezin! Pat Jones doesn’t SEE IT!

EJ: WHAT!? How could that imbecile miss that?!

MN: Well, Elijah, let’s not forget that he’s got the same idiot genes as his son Aaron…

DM: To be fair, Pat’s attention was up near Rezin’s face, looking for the submission! Rezin could have really got an Oscar nomination for that performance…

CD: Just a nomination, Dean-O? Screw that… he’s taking home the GOLD!

DT: MJ2 is STUNNED in pain… and Rezin with the three-quarter facelock… bounces off his feet for THE REZ HIT --

AND MJ2 LAUNCHES HIM OFF!! He just won’t quit!

MN: Getting HECTIC now!!

DT: Rezin hits the mat running… goes RIGHT into the ropes… comes back and --

GOOOOD-GAWD WHADDA SPEAR BY MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES!!! THE TELEVISION CHAMPION JUST GOT BROKEN IN HALF!!

Crowd: “EM-JAY-TWO!! EM-JAY-TWO!! EM-JAY-TWO!! EM-JAY-TWO!! EM-JAY-TWO!!”

DM: WOW!! If he wore any shoes, he would have just got knocked the UFF right out of them!

EJ: Looks like someone ELSE will be taking home the gold…

DT: MJ2 peeling Rezin off of the mat… and the Television Champion is simply too STUNNED to do anything to defend himself right now! Malcolm draws him in… hooking the legs and ONTO THE SHOULDERS…

...AND DOWN HE COMES with the GREATNESS BUSTER!! Rezin gets DRILLED into the mat!

CD: Okay, screw it… time for Plan B!

DM: What?!

[CUT TO: The commentary table as Caitlyn frantically grabs the styro cup in front of Neely and quickly throws its contents into Elijah Joseph’s face before ripping off the headset and dashing away from the scene as quickly as possible.]

DM: HEY!!

DT: Caitlyn with the water to the face of her rival manager, and she just booked it out of here!

MN: Uh, try vodka…

EJ: AGH… my EYES!!

DM: Quick, Mike, give him your hankie…

EJ: GOD, NO!!

[CUT TO: The ring, as MJ2 goes for the pin.]

DT: Caitlyn running to the ring… nobody to stop her as Malcolm Joseph-Jones makes the cover for the win!


ONE!!


TWO!!


THR -- CAITLYN JUST PULLED REZIN FROM THE RING!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!!”

DT: Pat Jones has no choice on this as he cues the bell! MJ2 pumps back to his feet and looks FURIOUS!!

SFX: *DING! DING! DING!*

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… due to outside interference, the Television Champion REZIN has been DISQUALIFIED! As a result, here is your winner… MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES!!

DT: A bittersweet victory for the challenger! He looked for certain he would reclaim the Television Title, but the clever Escape Artist has gotten away with the belt yet again, this time with the help of his new manager!

EJ: DAMNIT! That… goddamn woman!

MN: Chill, Elijah! Okay, so you aren’t walking away with gold, at least your brother won the match!

[CUT TO: The commentary table, as Elijah Joseph finishes wiping what remained of Mike Neely’s drink from his face and glasses with his own handkerchief. He promptly folds it up and puts it back in its place in his pocket before rising from his seat, a foreboding look on his determined face…]

EJ: No… not YET.

[Joseph sets down the headset and leaves the table. The crew’s attention suddenly shifts back to the ring…]

DT: Hang on, what’s going on here back in the ring!?

[CUT TO: MJ2, still in the ring, standing at the ropes, barraging the cheating duo with a storm of insults and curses. One of Caitlyn’s arms clutches the EPW Television Title while the other desperately reels in Rezin, still staggering on his feet after the effects of the Greatness Buster. The denim-clad diva counters with some of her own venomous backtalk while trying to back up the rampway… but she fails to notice the figure approaching from behind.]

DT: It’s ELIJAH JOSEPH… and he’s got that BUCKET OF SLUDGE!!

MN: Oh no, LOOK OUT, CAITLYN!!

[At the last moment, Rezin’s eyes POP OPEN once he sees who’s sneaking up behind them… and in a move than can only be described as typical for the despicable Television Champion, he instinctively yanks CAITLYN in the way to take the brunt of the damage as Malcolm’s half-brother upends the bucket and douses her in a wet coat of BLACK SLIME! Caitlyn SHRIEKS, frozen in shock and repulsion! All around her, the fans POINT AND LAUGH!]

DT: HAHAHAHAHA!! Well, I’d say KARMA has finally caught up to Caitlyn Daymon!

DM: And something tells me that karma is still catching up to Rezin, because MJ2 looks more determined than ever to get his absolute revenge on the man that stole the Television Title from him!

DT: No doubt, this is all going to come to a head at Wrestleverse V… but right now, we need to take a commercial break. We’ll be right back, ladies and gentlemen!

[As a furious and ostensibly violent Caitlyn savages Rezin back up the rampway in a flurry of sludge-soaked slaps and scratches, MJ2 is joined by Elijah in the ring. The bespectacled Joseph points to the WRESTELEVERSE V banner hanging up in the rafters… and a determined smile crosses the face of Malcolm Joseph-Jones.]

 

[User Poets]

Taste the who?

 

[User Poets]

NON-TITLE: The Animezing Dragons vs. Eli Flair and Aaron Jones

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

DT: Up next, we’ve got a highly anticipated tag team match that will determine the Champions’ title defense at Wrestleverse!

MN: Who thought we’d ever refer to an Aaron Jones match as ‘highly anticipated’?

[CUE UP: “Ikari no Jyushin” as the fans exploded in cheers.]

DT: Jones is still technically winless here in EPW, but he’s always shown promise – and that promise finally has focus.

MN: So you’re saying the key to success in this company is to get an old man with an impressive resume, and a chick with a big stick to point the way?

[The lights flickered green and white in tune with the beat, and the EPW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS emerged from the backstage, one from each side of the entryway, and crossed in an X shape so that they were each facing half the crowd. Both men stopped to salute, with Karl Brown lowering his hand a half second before Otaku.]

DM: I think Aaron Jones has benefitted greatly from the guidance that comes with being taken in by a multiple time World Champion and a legendary manager, however all the promise in the world takes a lot of refining work to bring out, and in a tag team setting where you need to be able to rely on your partner to achieve the highest peaks, and I think it’s safe to say nobody does that better than the Animezing Dragons.

DT: That’s a good point, Dean, and one that may be overlooked in the hype of their opponents. The Dragons are the only three time World Tag Team Champions in EPW history, and everything we’re discussing about Flair and Jones and the work they’ve been doing – it’s all second nature to the Dragons.

DM: Exactly. This is a team that has not held the Tag Team Championships for about five months total of the past three years.

MN: But is that due to their awesomeness as a team, or to the lack of credible opponents?

DT: That’s also a good point, Mike – the Dragons have wrestled many teams over the past few years to successfully defend the titles, and very few of those teams have been considered a team in the traditional sense, or stuck around after coming up short. But I disagree with your implication that that would, in any way, reduce the effectiveness of the Dragons’ reign.

MN: I’ll make you a bet, then – if they lose the titles at Wrestleverse to whoever, and don’t win them back within a year, then I was right.

DT: You’re never right.

MN: I win!

DM: Regardless of their quality of opponent, the quality of the Dragons’ ringwork is untouchable, they’ve earned their spot as possibly the greatest tag team in the EPW’s history, or at least at the forefront of the conversation – and based on the fans’ ovation they’ve certainly got the crowd behind them.

MN: Not this member of the crowd. They’re more like a horde.

DT: I thought you considered Aaron Jones a talentless hack and Eli Flair an over the hill hack?

MN: All true. But they’ve got something the Dragons don’t: a hot piece of ass in their corner.

DM: What’s it like to be a member of a horde?

[CUE UP: “People of the Moon” by PUi. The fans remained on their feet as the lights went down and a pair of spotlights scanned either side of the seats while the music built… built… built. At the apex of the intro, the spotlights met at the entryway, where Aaron Jones stood on the left, ‘Total Elimination’ Eli Flair stood on the right, and Poison Ivy stood in the middle. Aaron Jones started toward the ring but Ivy subtly grabbed his arm and kept him in position for what seemed like an eternity (though was ten seconds at the most). Finally, she prompted him to move and the trio walked to the ring as if on a mission.]

DT: Here comes EPW’s version of the Odd Couple.

MN: Your relevant references know no bounds.

DM: Odd is definitely fitting, though. Hard to imagine this association began with Aaron Jones, for all intents and purposes, being mugged in the middle of the ring as Eli Flair’s debut opponent. I think it’s telling for his character that he saw potential on Jones where others had simply seen a notch in the win column.

MN: And has that yielded anything yet?

DT: This industry is more than just a win/loss record, Mike.

MN: What, Sabermetrics? You don’t get a title shot for looking good in defeat.

DT: It’s a process, Mike. Jones might still be sitting on that first win but he’s shown more skill in the ring, more resilience, more heart, and more strategy since Unleashed. He just needs that moment to put all the pieces together.

TF: This next contest is a non-title tag team matchup, scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the Manager of Champions, Poison Ivy…

MN: She ain’t gonna give you a taste, Tony, not even if you suck up.

DT: Will you stop?

TF: At a total combined weight of four hundred fifty-four pounds… Aaron Jones… and Eli Flair!!

DT: Very nice ovation for the trio of challengers. Interesting to note that, on the whole, these two teams are almost evenly matched on weight; however the challengers are not evenly balanced out.

DM: Weight is the equivalent of the Win/Loss record that Mike ham-handedly tried to compare a minute ago.

MN: Thank you. Wait, what?

DM: The bigger wrestlers isn’t always the better wrestler, and I think you made the point better than the rest of us could, Dave – this type of match is about teamwork, which is something that Jones and Eli are still building while the Dragons have it second nature.

TF: And their opponents… at a total combined weight of four hundred forty one pounds… They are the current reigning and THREE TIME Empire Pro Wrestling World Tag Team Champions… OTAKU… and “The Dragon” KARL BROWN…

THEEEEEEE AAAAAAAANIMEEEEEEEEZINNNNNG…. DRAAAAAGONS!!!!

DT: These fans are solidly behind the Champions!

DM: I think they’re solidly behind all four men in this match, however the Dragons have been the dominant tag team force in EPW for some time now, and I’d wager that’s the impetus.

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

DT: We’re underway, and it looks like Aaron Jones is starting things off against Otaku! They lock up, and Otaku with an armdrag takedown! He locks an armbar on Jones, who immediately rolls to his knees to get some leverage back!

DM: There’s some of that experience and seasoning starting to shine through; it’s such a basic thing to get your legs under you but absolutely essential to ring survival.

MN: So should we start comparing him to Stevens now, then? Before you anoint him Heir Apparent, please remember that Jones is actually the one IN the hold.

DT: Jones with a reversal! Otaku with another, and he cinches in even tighter! Jones still on his knees, he hasn’t been able to get to a vertical base but he’s holding fast, keeping Otaku’s leverage at bay.

DM: Otaku backs up and tags in Brown; he’s off the top with a double axehandle to the shoulder!

MN: Has anyone thought that this might’ve been an elaborate plot by Eli Flair to embarrass Aaron Jones? Why isn’t he in there breaking things up?

DT: Poison Ivy pounding on the mat, she’s shouting words of encouragement to Jones, and Eli just leaning on the top rope, he looks unconcerned!

MN: Yeah! What’s up with that?

DM: Maybe he realizes the match is only three and a half minutes old?

DT: Brown with a hook around Jones’ shoulder, and a modified suplex just landed him on the injured joint! Jones rolls through, but Brown drops a knee on the back of his calf before he can get to his corner! Brown grabs him by the ankle and gives him a wrench – they appear to be working on Aaron Jones’ entire left side!

DM: It’s good strategy. Work his arm, he can’t effectively attack. Work his leg, he can’t keep his balance.

DT: To his credit, Jones refuses to stay down! He’s working his way to his feet, and Brown hooked him from behind! Dragon suplex! He bridged it, ONE… TWO… Kickout!

MN: And again, no movement from Flair. The fish are rotten in Norway.

DT: He’s watching, Mike.

MN: And not acting.

DM: Forget challenging for the tag belts, Mike – if the team dynamic is Jones taking the abuse while Eli comes in to save him, they won’t last to a second match as a team.

MN: Shouldn’t they have thought of that before they took on the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS?

DT: Another hook, and Brown with a tag to Otaku! He whips Jones into the ropes… Jones ducked the clothesline attempt! Off the other side –

DM: BLIND TAG!

DT: I don’t think Otaku saw it! Brown with a drop toe hold on Jones, and Otaku off the adjacent side – ELI FLAIR WITH A BASEBALL SWING ON OTAKU! He just did a 450 twist in midair and landed on his face! Brown is up, and Eli with a Samoan Drop! Cover on Otaku! ONE… TWO… Kickout! Jones is back on his feet, and he’s holding his chin where he impacted the canvas a few seconds ago. The referee is counting, but Eli just stopped Jones by the corner!

MN: And thus will drop the hammer.

DM: Eli and Jones just tagged again, Otaku’s getting up, and Jones stretching out his battered knee… He’s off the ropes, Eli just knelt down on one knee – Jones with one foot on Eli’s knee, a second on his shoulder, and a missile dropkick to Otaku’s face!

DT: There goes your theory, Mike!

MN: The night is young!

DT: Jones with a cover!! ONE… TWO… Kickout! Eli just left the ring, Karl Brown has pulled himself to the outside, and ladies and gentlemen, Aaron Jones is in control!

DM: Five words we never thought we’d say.

DT: Jones with a scoop on Otaku, and a bodyslam!

MN: Hall of fame time!

DT: Baby steps, Mike!

MN: Time is money!

DM: He’s not following up, looks like he’s still trying to walk off the landing from his dropkick, plus the damage Karl Brown did a few minutes ago.

DT: Otaku climbs to one knee, and Jones finally following through – Otaku with a single leg takedown, and a tag to Brown! He hooks Jones in a reverse headlock, the referee is in position to make sure it isn’t a choke!

DM: They’re not rulebreakers, Brown’s got him in a legitimate hold.

MN: Besides, it’s Aaron Jones.

DT: He’s up… and he’s down! I thought he’d go for a front faceslam but he dropped Jones right on the knees, putting more damage on the joints!

DM: Smart move. I’m not naïve enough to subscribe to your opinion of Jones’ ability, Mike – but his strength has been in the air so far in his young career and if the Dragons can continue to keep him grounded I think they’ll be looking for new challengers at Wrestleverse.

DT: Brown with the tag to Otaku, and a whip into the ropes! Off the other side, and a double lift and free fall onto Jones’ face! Cover by Otaku! ONE… TWO… THRKICKOUT! Eli nearly stepped in on that one!

MN: It’s about time.

DM: Help yourself first; he might be impressed with Jones, impressed enough to team with him but this man is very much of the ‘self – reliance’ school.

DT: Otaku with a scoop, and another whip into the ropes… Backdrop! Telegraphed! Jones with a kick to the face! Another kick! Small package! ONE… TWO… Kickout!

DM: And a tag! Jones commando – rolled to his corner and tagged in the King of Extreme! I don’t think Otaku saw him, and hand around the throat! Chokeslam!

DT: There’s the cover! ONE… TWO… THKICKOUT! Eli with a scoop, and a shove into the corner! Knee to the midsection, and another! Cross – corner whip!

MN: I think he moved the ring with that impact!

DM: On the flipside of the Dragons’ strategy with Jones, they need to hit and run with Flair. He’s nowhere near as fast but if he can grab ‘em, he can spike ‘em.

DT: Eli with a running start, he’s going to crush Otaku in the corner – OTAKU RAISED A FOOT! Eli ran into the bottom of his boot and the King of Extreme is rocked! Otaku backs up to the top turnbuckle, and a flying headscissors just took the big man down! Cover! ONE… TWO… THKICKOUT! Otaku with a tag to Brown, and the Tag Team Champions with a double scoop and slam!

MN: Forget Jones. McGinnis should be worried about the old man.

DT: Brown with another tag, and Otaku is up to the top! He’s giving eighty pounds to the King of Extreme but he’s got him up for the suplex! Otaku with the shooting star press – FLAIR GOT HIS KNEES UP! Otaku crashed ribs – first into Eli Flair’s knees, and he’s gasping for breath! Eli rolls through and Otaku with another quick tag to Brown, who pulls Flair up by the hair and whips him into the corner – Reversal! Eli with a running clothesline! BOOT TO THE FACE BY KARL BROWN!

MN: The definition of insanity, is doing the same thing multiple times expecting different results.

DT: Eli was rocked by the boot and this time it’s Karl Brown going to the top! He’s up on the King of Extreme’s shoulders, I think we’re about to see a victory roll – Eli stepped into it and kept his balance!

DM: This is another area where Eli’s weight is an advantage. Karl Brown barely breaks the two bills mark and Eli Flair is nearly three hundred pounds of New York Attitude. He can’t hold him up there indefinitely but he’ll be able to decide what to do with him at his leisure.

DT: Brown with a fist to Eli’s face! Another! Eli with a tag to Aaron Jones! Karl Brown wailing away at the King of Extreme’s head!

MN: Now what’s Jones gonna do? I don’t even think he knows.

DT: AARON JONES OFF THE TOP! HE HOOKED KARL BROWN AROUND THE NECK! TORNADO DDT FROM ELI FLAIR’S SHOULDERS! BOTH MEN HIT THE MAT!

DM: That’s something you don’t see every day.

DT: Jones with an arm over Brown’s chest, ONE… TWO… THREE!!!!!!!

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

MN: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!

DM: And we’ve got a title match.

DT: AARON JONES HAS JUST PINNED ONE HALF OF THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! He and Eli Flair have just earned a title shot at Wrestleverse, and Poison Ivy slides into the ring to celebrate!

DM: That was an incredible move by Jones.

DT: Gutsy.

MN: I wouldn’t get too comfortable if I was them. Sure, they got the win here but Otaku and Brown are already on their feet on the outside –with their title belts. And I’ll give credit where it’s due, Flair is a beast and Jones has some talent. And I’ll even nitpick the Dragons a little, they were probably overconfident going into this match. Titles weren’t on the line, and their opponents were a half a cripple and a half a wrestler. They won’t make that mistake again at Wrestleverse, and despite the way the victory landed here, the Animezing Dragons were about three hundred percent more on the same page as it relates to teamwork.

DM: You’ve got some good points there, Mike.

DT: Indeed, its’ something to think about. And I have a feeling we’ll see all four men bring their A game to the Biggest Show of the Year!

VOICE: Well, well, well… wasn’t that special?

 

[User Poets]

Arrogance and the Unexpected

[CUTTO: The entryway, where the EPW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, Boogie Smallz, has walked out with a microphone in hand and the title belt around his waist.]

DT: What’s he doing here?

MN: I guess when Dan Ryan is away, the ring rats come out to play.

BS: You know, Eli… I tried to help you out the way you never helped me. I called out your bitch manager as the gold digger she always was. I told people the truth about you, how you’re weak, you’re well past your expiration date, and you’re trying your hardest to cling to relevancy.

MN: He’s not wrong.

DT: How does that help Eli Flair, Boogie? A man who is a verifiable legend?

BS: Why would I do this, you may ask? Because I felt sorry for you. Because I wanted to pull you out of your little slump and give you one last taste of relevancy against the BEST WRESTLER IN THIS INDUSTRY.

[He stopped, and pointed both thumbs at himself. The fans booed.]

Because, and I admit to a bit of selfishness here, I wanted to be the one to put you out for good. But you were scared of me, Eli. You were scared of the truth I was going to show and the lies that I was going to expose.

[More boos, as Boogie started the walk to the ring.]

And why not? You slid into possibly the only place in this company where you’d look like you belonged: standing next to The Biggest Loser.

DM: Doesn’t he realize that the ‘Biggest Loser’ just earned their team a title shot?

BS: So you won a match that gives you a title shot. Big deal. I could put this title on the line right now against Aaron the Loser, immediately turn around after four seconds including intros and take you on, and not even break a sweat.

DT: Poison Ivy yelling at Tony Fatora to give her a microphone!

MN: I don’t think she needs one for the entire arena to hear her.

BS: Don’t even talk, bitch. Shut up.

[HUGE chorus of boos!]

DT: Whoa! Aaron Jones just took a step toward Boogie Smallz, he doesn’t appreciate the comments he made toward his friend and mentor! Ivy took his wrist and held him back, while Eli Flair is simply leaning against the corner, laughing!

DM: Twenty years now, he’s heard this sort of thing. If Flair didn’t learn years ago to let things like that go, he’d probably have had a heart attack by now.

BS: Go ahead and celebrate, because you’ve won nothing.

DT: Why is he even out here?

IVY: So let me get this straight, Boogie… you’ve claimed you could defend your title against Jonesey, then defend against Eli, one after another, and not even break a sweat?

BS: You can listen! Lucky you! You really do break the dumb blonde stereotype—

IVY: Challenge accepted.

DT: Poison Ivy just called for the bell!

DM: Is this legit?

DT: Boogie looks confused, but Ivy just gave Aaron Jones a little pep talk and shoved him toward Boogie!

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

MN: Lambs to slaughter? Who’s the lamb, though?

DT: Eli Flair and Poison Ivy climbed out of the ring, and they’re shouting encouragement at Jones! He looks terrified!

DM: He’s still finding his ring balance, so that’s to be expected. But at some point you just gotta do, right?

DT: Boogie unhooked his belt and lunged! Right hands to Aaron Jones’ face! He’s pounding the rookie to the mat!

MN: He already got a pinfall tonight and didn’t hurt himself. This might be one miracle too many for Jonesey.

DT: Boogie with a scoop and a handful of hair, he just threw Aaron Jones over the top rope!

DM: Jones held on! He angled himself under the bottom rope and tripped Boogie up! Boogie’s neck just stun gunned off the middle rope!

MN: Luckiest of lucky breaks, that one.

DT: Jones between the ropes, he’s on the apron as Boogie is getting to his feet! Slingshot to the top! Flying headscissors!

DM: Not just that!

DT: Hook of the legs! Aaron Jones used his momentum to swing himself in between Boogie Smallz’ legs and flip him with a modified small package! Both legs hooked! ONE… TWO… THREE!

MN: NO FREAKIN’ WAY!

[SFX: DING DING DING! The entire arena came unglued; nobody was sitting.]

DT: AARON JONES HAS JUST PINNED THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! AARON JONES HAS JUST PINNED BOOGIE SMALLZ!

DM: Boogie’s sitting down, he looks in complete shock! Poison Ivy in the ring, she just pulled Aaron Jones to his feet and gave him a hug! Eli Flair joining him, as Boogie yells at Tony Fatora to bring him his belt!

MN: Might as well. You get humiliated like that, you should just cut your losses.

[Somehow, the pop got even louder.]

DT: Now this is interesting.

MN: It’s not! That’s his property!

DT: The referee has just gotten in between Tony Fatora and Boogie Smallz, and he’s taken the belt away!

DM: No way.

MN: No fair!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout…

…

…and NEW…

[Noise. Deafening. You get the picture.]

EPW Intercontinental Champion… AARON JONES!

DT: Jones look to be in shock! Ivy just grabbed the belt from the referee and Eli Flair is keeping Boogie Smallz from breaking up the party!

DM: I guess it was a legitimate challenge for the title whether Boogie wanted it or not, but good on Aaron!

MN: I don’t even have the words.

DT: Ivy strapping the title around Jones’ waist, and these fans are chanting his name! We’ll be right back!

 

[User Poets]

I'm Lovin' It?

 

[User Poets]

Mixed Triangle Tag - The First/Muse vs. Impulse/Rose vs. Castor Strife/Suicide

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

MN: This is what I’ve been waiting for, Dave. This is where all my dreams come true!

DT: I’m almost afraid to ask.

MN: We’ve got a fine, upstanding wrestler in Castor Strife, who’s all set to beat the crap out of our poor excuse for a World Champion, and since Impulse doesn’t have any particular like for either man, I hold onto hope that this is the moment he decides to break The First’s face. And there’s two hot women and a slutty goth chick to fill the empty spaces.

DM: I’m equal parts disgusted and in total agreement.

[CUE UP: “Young Lust” by Pink Floyd. The fans exploded in cheers as the lights faded, the smoke machine filled the air, and the lone spotlight shone on the entryway. On the line ‘This is just a passing phase, one of my bad days,’ they appeared. Haruka Suicide stood with her arms folded across her chest in the filed – teeth facemask, tight athletic top, spiked boots, and knee – length athletic tights. Next to her, was The Boss. Castor V. Strife stood with his arms to his side, a gasmask over his face, and an Imperial Longcoat covering his body. They held the pose for a long five seconds before Castor broke it, and he started toward the ring to a thunderous ovation.]

DT: This man represents excellence outside Empire Pro Wrestling; Castor Strife is a former NFW World Heavyweight Champion and the 2012 Ultratitle winner, and he has done what he has always done in this sport: surrounded himself with capable and competent associates. In this case he is joined by a verifiable legend in Japanese female wrestling history.

DM: Suicide certainly has made her mark in the Land of the Rising Sun, and it’s a testament to the power of the name Castor Strife that he’s able to bring her into the Empire, seemingly with a phone call.

MN: I wonder if that works in seedy bars after the show is over.

DT: You’re hopeless.

[CUE UP: “Revolution Baby” by Queen V. The fans had been loud, but they just went nuclear. Nearly everyone was on their feet, chanting ‘IMMMMMMMMPULSE… IMMMMMMMPULSE…’ There wasn’t any pyro, but the lights dimmed except for a dozen or so spotlights of varying shades of blue, green, and purple, that centered on the entryway. After a few seconds the duo emerged; Impulse in long black tights with the green pulse design, a vintage ‘Original Pulp Hero’ ALIAS T-shirt, faded black leather jacket, and taped fists with the familiar JFZ’ letters written down the sides in homage to his mentor Johnny Fizzbin. Next to him, Calico Rose was wearing a pair of tight black athletic shorts over red leggings, combat boots and a ‘Savannah Derby Devils’ tank top underneath a plain black zip – up hoodie.]

MN: This is only justified if he brains The First.

DT: Leaving that aside, Mike – the majority of these fans are a hundred percent behind Impulse and Calico Rose tonight! There was a huge wave of grassroots support behind Impulse after Unleashed where the students of this sport thought that he should have walked out as the EPW World Champion.

MN: A lotta things should’ve happened, Dave.

DM: I hate to agree with Mike, Dave – and I think Impulse was wronged at Unleashed and, all things equal, I think he would have handily defeated The First. But the fact does remain, The First is the EPW World Champion and he retained the belt at Unleashed by pinning Impulse.

MN: And if he’d taken my advice and just brained The First, that wouldn’t’ve happened.

DT: That still won’t happen, Mike. If Impulse is destined to win the title from The First at Wrestleverse, he’ll do it on his terms.

MN: If only he could’ve been the Champion.

[CUE UP: “Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre. The fan reaction took an immediate 180 as they began to boo the World Champion and his valet. The First entered with Muse immediately behind; he was wearing a pair of black karate gi pants over fully black wrestling boots; patches of red and purple hair peeked out from behind the ‘Tragedy’ mask he wore. Half a step behind him, Muse was wearing the ‘Comedy’ half of the masks over her face with straight black hair pouring out from behind. She was also clad in what appeared to be a vinyl top and skintight black leather pants under knee – high boots. The EPW World Championship belt – the ‘Ankh’ variation – was around The First’s waist as they ignored the boos on the way to the ring.]

DT: Could time be ticking away on The First’s title reign?

MN: We can only hope.

DM: That’s a fair statement, Dave. Clearly The First has talent; he’s held onto that title for quite some time now, even taking into account Cameron Cruise’s five minute reign. But, no matter who wins in Cameron’s match with Rocko Daymon this evening, it’s a fair statement to say that The First will be in last place when graded solely on wrestling ability. He’s been able to hold his own but he’s also gotten the better of his opponents with deception and tricks. And it’s like Impulse said – with three opponents, The First may have finally run out of tricks.

DT: You’ve got a point there, Dean – and on the flipside, if The First comes out of Wrestleverse as the EPW World Champion, I think there will be a lot of people who will have to finally give him his due as the best wrestler in the world.

MN: Don’t sugarcoat. You said ‘best wrestler in the world’ which of course means Impulse will have to give him his due.

DT: Among other people. But that’s still to come, Mike… let’s take it up to Tony!

[CUTTO: A wide shot of the ring, where Tony Fatora is standing in the center.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is a special mixed tag triangle match, scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit! The rules of the match: when a tag is made, all combatants must trade places with their partner as there will be no mixed – gender combat permitted.

MN: Darn it. What I wouldn’t give to see Castor show Muse the cooz his directoral debut, if you know what I mean.

DM: I think everyone knew what you meant, whether they wanted to or not.

TF: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of three hundred and seventy two pounds… The team of ‘The Blazing Sun’ Haruka Suicide… and the INTERIM PRESIDENT… CASTOR… VEEEEEE… STRIIIIIIIIIFE!

DT: These fans are giving Castor Strife a hero’s welcome!

DM: For the most part.

MN: What are you talking about? These people LOVE him!

DM: Most of them do, but I hear a good number of boos. I think there’s a strong contingent of EPW fans who resent his insinuation into the main event just because he was a big name elsewhere.

MN: Fans don’t do that, they’re a bunch of dumb mouthbreathers who see shiny thing and clap their Doritos – smeared paws together whether they get it or not.

DM: Say what you will, but the fans I’ve spoken to believe that if it wasn’t for Castor Strife, the Wrestleverse main event would feature a more EPW – centric four corners match where there would not be a qualifier between Cruise and Daymon.

MN: Like The First would say, gentlemen – all that matters is who’s got the belt.

DT: I don’t think he ever said that.

MN: Well he should’ve!

TF: Next, at a total combined weight of three hundred and three pounds… The team of Calico Rose… and IMMMMMMPULSE!

DT: These fans are on their feet, you can bet they’re pulling for Impulse and Rose to win this one tonight, and to continue to ride that into Wrestleverse!

MN: Now, you don’t know that, Burger Boy. Don’t assume.

DT: Listen to these fans, Mike!

MN: And? Maybe they want to see Knox win this one, and then Rocko or Cruise win at Wrestleverse. Well, Rocko at least. Cameron hasn’t convinced me.

DM: He’s got a point, Dave.

MN: Thank you.

DM: He’s probably wrong, but he’s got a point.

MN: Hey!

TF: And their opponents…

[SFX: The boos had returned already, only this time they weren’t offset by any amount of cheering.]

At a total combined weight of three hundred and twenty pounds… The team of MUSE… and the EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION… THE FIRST!

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

DT: Here we go! The athletes have removed –

MN: Eye candy.

DT: Excuse me?

MN: You said athletes. The athletes and the eye candy. Women folk don’t belong in a ring, they should be in a vat of pudding.

DT: … The athletes in the ring have removed their various extras, Castor’s longcoat, Impulse’s T-shirt, and so forth, and we’re underway! Impulse is in the ring and he’s calling out Castor and The First! Listen to these fans!

DM: I hear ‘em, Dave. And I hear ‘em boo as The First tags Muse.

MN: What a coward.

DT: Due to the rules of this match, Impulse and Castor are out and Rose and Haruka have to tag in!

DM: It goes both ways though, Dave.

DT: Rose tags out to Impulse! The fans are cheering as the Marathon Man steps back through the ropes and Castor Strife and the Champion do the same! Impulse takes a step toward First – he tags back out to Muse!

MN: See, he’s a coward but he’s playing some smart mind games. By infuriating his opponents – particularly Impulse – he’s getting under their skin and when they get angry, mistakes happen.

DM: Castor and Haruka are just hanging out in their corner, they look bored by this back and forth. Their best move is to have Castor go for Impulse and Haruka go for Muse and First and stop the musical partners.

DT: Muse posturing now in her corner, she’s mocking Haruka and Rose! Impulse just whispered something to Rose, and she’s moving toward Muse!

DM: Muse backing off, she doesn’t want anything to do with Rose!

MN: Which I don’t get. A stiff breeze could knock either of them over.

DT: Haruka’s a Japanese legend, but Rose has gone through her own wrestling training in the past, which is far more than Muse ever had. She’s got the smarts, but I don’t know if she’s got the physicality!

DM: And she just tagged First again.

DT: IMPULSE JUST SLINGSHOTTED HIMSELF TO THE TOP ROPE! TWO STEPS TOWARD THE FIRST AND A MISSILE DROPKICK! First just flew off the apron and Castor Strife is all over Impulse!

DM: Someone had to blink, Dave – and Impulse was ready for it.

MN: So was Castor! And so are the ladies! HELLO, LADIES!

DT: Castor with a series of right hands to Impulse’s face, and he scoops him, Irish whip! Spinebuster! Impulse took a big risk right off the bat and it paid off in the sense of The First still on the floor trying to recover, but I think he’d agree it was too big of a risk as he’s prone on the mat! Castor doesn’t go for the cover!

MN: Why cover? The referee is still trying to get Haruka and Rose out of the ring!

DM: Castor takes advantage with a foot on Impulse’s throat, and the Marathon Man holding on tight! Haruka with a cross – corner whip on Rose – Rose with a reversal! Followup with a huge clothesline! That girl knows what she’s doing!

DT: The referee finally gets between Castor and Impulse and pulls the choke away, but the damage has been done! Castor with the cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout! Calico Rose just sent Haruka through the ropes, and she’s out of the ring as well!

MN: Buzzkill.

DT: Castor with a scoop, and a forearm to the back, he may have Impulse set up for a powerbomb – THE FIRST WITH KICK FROM BEHIND! Impulse drops, Castor staggers, and The First nips up! He goes between the ropes and slingshots to the top, and a flying headscissors takedown on Castor Strife! Cover! ONE… TWO… Kickout by Castor! First back up, he’s off the ropes… Impulse with a single leg takedown! Ankle lock submission hold! First tries to kick away but Impulse keeps himself behind the Champion!

DM: And there’s the danger of the triangle match. You can have one opponent in hand and the other blindsides you.

DT: Outside the ring, the women are keeping their distance from each other. Calico Rose is actually on the ring apron, but she’s not paying attention to the ring itself.

MN: Would you, with Haruka Suicide making murder eyes at you?

DM: Meanwhile, Castor is up and Impulse lets The First loose so he can defend himself.

DT: Castor with a lunge, and Impulse sidesteps! He hooks Castor’s arm and forces him down – Castor with an armdrag reversal! The First with a closed fist to Castor’s groin!

DM: Haruka and Rose just locked up outside the ring and Haruka backs her up against the steps! She might have the leverage to shove her over!

DT: The First moves toward Impulse, but Impulse is up! They face off and The First stops!

MN: He doesn’t have a Plan B here, Burgerman. You don’t want to have to face off with Impulse in a wrestling contest when he’s ready for you and has no distractions.

DM: Impulse moves to lock up but The First sidesteps – IMPULSE FLOWS INTO A BACKWARDS ELBOW! He just caught The First in the eye! Scoop! Samoa Drop!

DT: Calico Rose’s heel is at the steps… She shifted her weight and locked Haruka in a drop toe hold! Haruka bounced off the ring steps!

DM: She’s been doing in the basement, I think.

MN: That’s just creepy without the context.

DT: Impulse with a cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout! The First rolls through, and he turns to face him – SUDDEN IMPACT! Goodnight!

DM: He tries to cover again and it’s over.

DT: The First stopped dead in his tracks when the boot hit, and he fell backwards into the corner! Impulse moving in – Castor Strife grabbed him from behind! CULT CLASSIC! He covers! ONE—

DM: Muse just tagged herself in!

DT: The referee saw it, and he stops the pinfall attempt! Castor stands and he looks at Muse and The First with anger in his face! CASTOR WITH A RUNNING START! MUSE DUCKED BUT HE JUST CLOTHESLINED THE FIRST OVER THE TOP ROPE!

MN: Now we can get the women folk scrappin’!

DT: Impulse sitting on the mat getting his wits back, and he just yelled at Rose that she’s in!

DM: I think The First and Muse can be forgiven for the fact that Muse is not an athlete – and Castor and Haruka may not have ever teamed up before, but taking all that into account, I’m impressed with the communication and teamwork between Impulse and Calico Rose tonight.

MN: Then why don’t they go for the tag team belts? I’m sure the chick could be a match for Aaron Jones, so they’ve got at least as much clout as the current contenders.

DM: Really, Mike? New Intercontinental Champion and you’re still mocking him?

MN: To the grave.

DT: Rose just sent Haruka back into the ring, she still looks dazed from that staircase landing. The First is recovering, Castor is almost to his feet, and Muse is watching from a distance!

MN: There’s too much wrestler stuff happening and not enough women ripping each other’s clothes off.

DT: Calico Rose going to the top… Haruka Suicide slowly rising… Don’t tell me--!

DM: The girl’s got moves, Dave!

DT: MOONSAULT TAKEDOWN BY CALICO ROSE! SHE HOOKS THE LEG! ONE… TWO… THR—MUSE JUST GRABBED HER BY THE HAIR AND PULLED HER OFF!

MN: What did you say, Dean? The dangers of a triangle match.

DT: Muse just sent Rose chest – first into the corner while the referee is yelling at her to let go of her hair – THE FIRST WITH A CHAIR TO THE BACK OF HARUKA’S HEAD! IMPULSE DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES AT THE CHAMPION AND THE TWO MEN COLLAPSE ON EACH OTHER!

DM: Castor’s up now as well, I don’t think he saw what happened to Haruka because he’s on his way to do some damage to the Impulse / First pile!

DT: Rose is down on one knee and she’s wheezing, Muse takes advantage! Cover on Haruka, ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners – the team of MUSE… AND… THE FIRST!

DM: What were you saying about a backup plan, Mike?

MN: Don’t talk to me, this one hurts.

DT: Castor’s attention just shifted from Impulse and The First to the ring, where Muse is celebrating over Haruka’s fallen body! Impulse and The First both disengage as well to survey the ring, and Impulse is immediately at Rose’s side!

DM: We haven’t really talked about it: there hasn’t really been much cause but Calico Rose has some severe health issues related to her lungs, I think Muse simply knocked the wind out of her but let’s hope there’s nothing more serious.

MN: That’s it, sweetie… breathe. Deeply. Again.

DT: You have problems.

MN: If staring at hot women is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

DM: Castor’s got Muse locked in his sights – he’s just picked up the discarded chair!

MN: BRAIN HER! BRAIN HER!! THEN BRAIN THE FIRST!

DT: The referee just got between them, he’s threatening Castor!

MN: What can he do? Castor’s in charge. If he declares hitting Muse with a chair is allowed, we should all get a turn.

DT: Haruka Suicide is finally stirring, and The First just entered the ring! Castor swings! The First grabbed the chair and knocked it away! WE’VE GOT A STAREDOWN BETWEEN THE CHAMPION AND THE PRESIDENT!

DM: This could very well be the culmination of the main event at Wrestleverse, Dave – these two men are the two most powerful men in EPW at the moment.

DT: Muse takes the opportunity to sneak around Castor and get behind The First, but the two men are still facing off! THE FIRST JUST SPRAYED CASTOR WITH RED MIST—HARUKA SUICIDE GOT INBETWEEN THEM! SHE JUST TOOK THE MISTING FOR CASTOR!

MN: I guess that’s why she’s called ‘Suicide’?

DM: Wisely, the referee’s gotten out of there.

DT: These two men may not make it to Wrestleverse, they’re about to tear into each other!

IMPULSE: HEY!!

 

[User Poets]

Impulse is ALL IN at Wrestleverse

[CUTTO: Impulse, sitting on the barrier between the front row and ringside area, holding a microphone. Rose is standing next to him inside the ring area, holding his hand.]

MN: Who gave him a microphone?

IMPULSE: So this is what it comes down to? The two of you are supposedly the two best wrestlers in the world – The First, you’re the Empire World Champion for the third time; Castor, you’re the reigning Ultratitle winner and the ‘boss’ for the time being, and this is what you come up with? A mouthful of mist and a chair?

This is wrestling?

[Impulse spat on the floor next to the ring, and the fans cheered.]

I don't care that you've got the superiority complex, The First. I don't care that you've openly admitted to lying and manipulating your way to the top of the Empire, and that you've somehow parlayed that into being a record three - time World Champion. You don't win your matches without some kind of trick or scheme, you take advantage of loopholes and technicalities and you've been able to maintain a stranglehold on that title for some time now. Congratulations.
Castor, I don’t care whether you’ve ‘sold out’ or ‘bought in.’ I don’t care if you justify your decisions by the PRESIDENT marker on your desk. I don’t even care whether or not you want to paint me with the same broad strokes as you paint yourself: that we’re all just sellouts to a different degree.

[SFX: Cheers from the fans.]

My problem stems from you, The First, doing all these things, all the double crossing and double dealing and the scheming and the planning... and you have the audacity to think that the belt around your waist makes you the best wrestler because of it. Castor Strife, you went from Cecil B Demented to Michael Bay and think the title PRESIDENT and the mansion in the hills makes the ends justify the means and that your role makes you the best wrestler because of it.

Neither of you are the best wrestler in the industry. Neither of you are the best wrestler in the Empire.

I am.

[SFX: Cheers.]

The best wrestler.

[SFX: Cheers.]

In the Empire.

[SFX: Cheers.]

In the industry.

[CUTTO: The ring, where The First has yelled at Tony Fatora to bring him his title belt and Castor has yelled at Tony to bring him a microphone to respond to Impulse.]

The First, you're not a Champion. You're a guy who carries a belt around. You carry the belt out to the ring and you leave with it because you've planned for something that has nothing to do with wrestling ability.

You're a third rate gangster.

The First, have you ever heard of Arnold Rothstein? He was a bootlegger and gambler a hundred years ago who never actually gambled on anything. He never placed a bet unless he'd fixed the game, or unless he was so well covered that he'd never lose any money.

That's you, The First.

You don't ever actually put the title on the line. You make the arrangements so it's never actually in jeopardy - with no allowance to your wrestling skill or any lack thereof - and you carry the belt to the ring and carry it back.

You have three opponents at Wrestleverse, The First. You have Castor Strife, you have a former Empire World Champion one way or the other, and you have the Eye of the Storm.

Me.

You don't have enough tricks to keep all three of us at bay, and you're going to lose that title when you're forced to actually defend it.

You're going to have to risk it. And when you actually have to risk it, The First, you're going to lose

You have to lose it.

You are not the best wrestler in the world, and the fact that you're carrying around a title belt that would fool the casual fan into thinking otherwise makes me sick.

The problem I have, The First, is that the Empire is the premier wrestling organization in the world, and the fact that you're carrying the belt around could fool the casual fan into thinking that you're the best wrestler, and that's something I can't accept.

The problem I have, Castor, is that you’ve achieved what you consider to be the biggest success in this industry, and you’ve been coasting on it ever since. You talk about history being the indicator that you’ll walk out as CHAMPION.

You haven’t been a Champion – Ultratitle or otherwise – for over two years. Times change. People change. You’ve gone from an exciting new talent to some guy with hairplugs who’s still hoping to score some chicks based on a minor hit from the 80s.

Neither one of you deserve to hold that Championship belt.

After Wrestleverse, neither one of you are going to be holding that Championship belt. Because as long as one of you does so, this is not the sport that I love and wanted to be a part of. And if one of you somehow manages to take the win, well that’s just the final nail in the coffin that the sport that I love is dead and buried; that there’s nothing left for me in it and no reason to even stay.

DT: WHOA!

[SFX: HUGE response from the crowd. CUTTO: The ring, where both wrestlers looked a bit taken aback by this declaration.]

IMPULSE: I don’t know if Rocko Daymon or Cameron Cruise will be in the fourth corner at Wrestleverse, but I’m willing to bet my career on neither of you being the best wrestler in this company. Are either of you willing to bet anything?

[Castor raised the microphone to his mouth, but Impulse interrupted him.]

That was rhetorical, Castor. I don’t really care what you’ve got to say. You two can just stand there and think about it; I’ll see you at Wrestleverse.

[Impulse dropped the microphone on the timekeeper’s table, swung his legs over the guardrail and into the crowd, and in one move lifted Rose up and over.]

DM: Talk about a bombshell. Look at Castor, I think he’s at a loss for words for the first time in his life!

DT: You said it, Dean! This is a four way match, anything can happen, and Impulse just literally bet his career on the outcome! We will, of course, try to get in touch with the EPW's owner Dan Ryan to see if that's something that the EPW is willing to add to the show!

MN: Castor’s the President, I’m sure if he says it’s good, it’s good.

DT: He’s only the President until Wrestleverse, Mike! This goes way past that event! Speaking of Wrestleverse, who will be the fourth man in the ring with The First, Impulse, and Castor Strife? We’ll find out when Cameron Cruise takes on Rocko Daymon, next!

 

[User Poets]

I don't even have the words.

 

[User Poets]

MAIN EVENT: Cameron Cruise vs. Rocko Daymon for the Wrestleverse Title Shot

[FADEIN: Ringside, where the commentary crew has been joined by The First who is still in his ring gear with the EPW World Title resting on a chair next to him.]

DT: Well folks the main event is here and we’ve been joined at ringside by the EPW World Champion himself.

FIRST: I had to be out here for this, this is the biggest match in these two men’s careers, a shot at the EPW World Title, to main event WrestleVerse, to have the chance to become one of only three men ever to hold the EPW World Title…This is make or break time and we’re about to see who handles it and who crumbles. Like Impulse’s career is about to.

[MUSIC UP: “Killing In The Name Of” by Rage Against The Machine. Cameron Cruise makes his way to the ring as the crowd gives him a loud mixed reaction. Cruise has on blank rights with “Cruise” down the leg in white, with black ring boots with “CC” on the sides in white.]

DT: Cameron Cruise the only man to have held every EPW Title. He has been in countless wars in EPW and tonight he has a chance to earn himself the re-match he’s never gotten after you screwed him out of the EPW World Title.

FIRST: Hey you said it, he can earn it right here. Don’t be pointing the finger at me, point it at him if he can’t get it done.

[Cruise warms up in the ring, he stops to yell at First for a moment and then his music fades out.]

[MUSIC UP: “At The Well” by Neurosis . The crowd pops big as Rocko Daymon makes his way towards the ring. Rocko has on dark blue trunks and neon green knee pads and elbow pads with dark blue ring boots.]

DT: Rocko Daymon has this crowd on their feet. Not a shock at all he’s got the Seahawk colors going in honor of his team’s big win in the Super Bowl.

DM: Well this is like the conference championship for Daymon, he’s fighting for his shot to go to the Super Bowl of wrestling that is WrestleVerse.

FIRST: You can see it in his eyes that he knows what this means, this is a man who’s come a long way and now it’s all on the line. I expect nothing short of pure brutality.

TF: This is the MAIN EVENT set for one fall, with no time limit, and the winner will be in the four way match for the EPW World Title at WrestleVerse! [Pop]

TF: Introducing first, hailing from Jacksonville North Carolina, weighing in at 265 pounds…CAMERON!!! CRUISE!!!

[Cruise ignores the reaction of the crowd, staring daggers at Daymon as he continues to get loose.]

TF: And his opponent, from Seattle, Washington , he weighs in at 235 pounds….ROCKO!!! DAYYY!!!! MONNNN!!!!!

[Daymon raises an arm as the crowd roars but beyond that he’s totally focused on Cruise.]

[Bell rings]

DT: Cruise and Daymon for the right to fight for the title, it’s on now…Cruise sneaks in a jab. Rocko doesn’t really react to it and sidesteps an attempted grapple by Cruise and now Daymon lands a quick series of jabs and staggers Cruise…DROPKICK by Daymon sends Cruise staggering into the ropes, but he catches himself and now both men are back and circling.

DM: These two have been around a long time, there might be a feeling out process but I doubt it’ll be a long one.

DT: Cruise gets ahold of Daymon and gets a side headlock…Daymon backs into the ropes and shoots Cruise to the other side…Cruise SHOULDERBLOCKS Daymon to the mat and stands over him…Cruise off the ropes as Daymon scampers to his feet…ANOTHER SHOULDER BLOCK…Cruise hits the ropes again as Daymon gets up…DAYMON WITH A HIPTOSS!!

MN: Well Cruise did give him three chances to come up with a counter for that, not the brightest guy that Cruise.

FIRST: Yeah, but he’s a big boy, he’ll just hit you and it’ll make you hurt. Don’t need to be smart when you hit hard.

MN: Explains why he’s had a career all these years.

DT: Cruise back to his feet again…Daymon right after him with right hands and sends him into the ropes…CLOTHESLINE DROPS CRUISE…Cruise stumbles up to his feet…Daymon sends him back into the ropes…Reversal by Cruise…CRUISE CATCHES HIM AND PLANTS HIM WITH A SPINEBUSTER!!

DM: That shook the building!

FIRST: I told you. Everything Cruise does to you in that ring hurts and it hurts a lot.

DT: Cruise stomps away on Daymon and now off the ropes…DRIVES AN ELBOW INTO HIS CHEST! A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

FIRST: No small move is going to end a match like this with the stakes this high, you’re going to have to knock your opponent out or stack him up in a pin and just hold those shoulders down for three seconds.

DM: Like Cruise did to you with that backslide.

FIRST: Exactly like that Dean, believe whatever you want.

DT: Cruise now gets a chinlock on Daymon, making the smaller man carry all of Cruise’s weight on his back. Daymon having to labor to get to his feet and fires an elbow to the stomach, and another….Cruise lets go and takes a right hand and another…Daymon off the ropes…CRUISE CATCHES HIM AND A BRUTAL BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX PLANTS DAYMON!!

DM: Cruise connecting with the high impact moves in this match and he’s got the edge in the early going.

DT: Cruise pulls Daymon to his feet and puts him in the corner. Cruise with a series of right hands and now he whips Daymon to the other side…Daymon hits hard…Cruise with a charge…NOBODY HOME!! Daymon measuring a staggering Cruise…DISCUS PUNCH!! HE FLATTENED CRUISE WITH IT!! A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

FIRST: Bit early in the match to hope to get him with that, but it’s the right idea, stick a big shot and get the pin.

DT: Daymon quickly back on Cruise and gets him up…DOUBLE ARM DDT!! Daymon not even trying for a cover he’s just trying to get Cruise back to his feet so he can hit him again! Cruise back up…SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP BY DAYMON!! CHAINS IT INTO ANOTHER ONE!! THREE OF THEM!! DAYMON FLOATS OVER INTO A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Cruise isn’t going to be beaten that easy. Daymon pulls him to his feet. CRUISE GETS HIM UP! A SHIPWRECK!! SHIPWRECK OUT OF NOWHERE BY CRUISE!!

DM: Daymon might be out! Cruise needs to cover!

DT: Cruise rolling away from Daymon instead of towards him and now he’s got himself to his feet and finally he sees the damage his Shipwreck caused…Cruise lunges at Daymon and gets a cover!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DM: Way too much time to get into that cover, never had a chance on that pin and he had to know it.

FIRST: Yeah but when you’re in there you take the chance, can’t win if you don’t pin.

DT: Cruise sends Daymon into the corner…Daymon staggers out…POWERSLAM!!! CRUISE WITH A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DM: This is a back and forth contest and both men are throwing everything they got at each other.

MN: I know I’m really glad to be out here calling this match instead of being in the ring, even watching this hurts!

DT: Cruise whips Daymon hard into the opposite corner…RUNNING CLOTHESLINE SMASHES DAYMON! Daymon slumps to the mat…Oh man, Cruise is going outside, he’s climbing the ropes.

DM: This is not where he’s known for doing stuff, he’s really going out on a limb here.

FIRST: This is for all the marbles, you take the big risks if you want to win!

DT: CRUISE OFF THE TOP WITH AN ELBOW!! NOBODY HOME!!!

DM: Daymon really needs to get back into this match now that the door is open for him.

DT: Both men down, Daymon getting to his feet…Cruise slowly crawling back up…JUMPING KNEE LIFT BY DAYMON DROPS CRUISE! Daymon grabbing Cruise by the legs…TACOMA CLOVERLEAF!! HE HAS IT LOCKED IN!!

FIRST: I doubt Cruise would tap even if both his legs got broken, but when you’re as big a guy as he is and you’ve been around as long as he has, you have to have back and knee problems, this hold is going to make all of that suck an awful lot.

DT: Daymon really sinking that hold in deep and wrenching the back of Cruise who is howling in pain! Cruise screaming at the ref that he’s not going to tap but you have to know he’s in a real bad way right now as Daymon keeps up the pressure.

DM: Cruise might have to tap here, this hold could cause real damage to him, it could end his career.

FIRST: What good is his career without main eventing WrestleVerse? This is like all those football players who say they don’t care about the brain damage as long as they can play the game, Cruise will chew his own leg off to get another shot at this belt.

DT: Cruise crawling towards the ropes now, he’s dragging Daymon with him, he has to get there…HE MAKES IT!! But how much damage was done in that hold?! Daymon lets go and grabs Cruise and gets him to his feet…BACKBREAKER BY DAYMON AND A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Daymon rolls Cruise over onto his belly and locks up a Camel Clutch. Daymon really putting the pressure on Cruise’s back…Cruise fighting to get his legs under him and now he powers to his feet…Cruise runs backwards…CRUSHES DAYMON INTO THE CORNER! Cruise runs off the ropes…CLOTHESLINES DAYMON...BOTH MEN DOWN!

FIRST: Impulse talked a lot of smack at me tonight, I want him to look at that ring and see what these men are doing to each other, this level of violence, this level of brutality just to make it into the ring to face us. He’s trying to hype himself up and make himself have some motivation for this match…I don’t need motivation, these guys don’t need it. Bring your A game Impulse, cause everyone else is.

DT: Cruise and Daymon getting to their feet…Cruise grabs Daymon…GOING FOR A REALITY CHECK!! HE GOT IT!! DAYMON PLANTED!!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

TH-NO!!!

DT: HE KICKED OUT! Daymon somehow escaped that pin! Cruise beside himself…Cruise grabs him…INSIE CRADLE!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Daymon kicks out. Cruise grabs him again and goes for a backslide…HE STACKS DAYMON UP!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

TH-NO!!

DT: Cruise is beside himself, he can’t believe he can’t pin Daymon!

DM: Daymon’s the Undying for a reason, he’s not going to away without a serious fight!

DT: Cruise getting into it with the ref. He needs to calm himself down and focus on the match. He’s finally got his money’s worth out of yelling at the ref and now he goes back to Daymon…DAYMON KICKS HIM IN THE GUT AND HOOKS HIM…BRAIN ROCKER!! CRUISE IS FLATTENED!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Daymon can’t believe it…He was sure he had him…He gives the cut throat sign…He’s got Cruise up…HE’S GOING FOR THE ASCENT!! HE HIT IT!! HE GOT ALL OF IT!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

DT: CRUISE GOT THE FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!

MN: They’ll have to kill each other to win this. This is the best!

DT: Daymon looking at Cruise’s leg laying on the bottom rope in just total disbelief, he landed that move with all his might and just didn’t hook the leg.

FIRST: Daymon might be in the Seahawks colors but Cruise isn’t a choking dog like Peyton Manning, he’s going to have to really beat him to win this thing.

DT: Daymon glaring at Cruise and he grabs him and pulls him to his feet…Daymon now puts Cruise up on the top rope…Daymon climbing up and he’s trying to hook Cruise for a top rope Brain Rocker…Cruise firing back with right hands of his own…Cruise now grabs Daymon…Oh lord…CRUISE TRYING TO SUPLEX DAYMON OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!! CRUISE HAS HIM UP!!! HE CAN’T HOLD HIM!!! DAYMON COMES DOWN AND TAKES CRUISE FLYING TO THE MAT WITH A DDT!!

FIRST: Wow!! Cruise might be dead!

DT: Cruise is MOTIONLESS…He just got SPIKED on his head from the top rope…Daymon rolls him over…COVERS!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!

[Bell rings. “At The Well” by Neurosis. The crowd roaring as Daymon slowly gets to his feet.]

TF: Here is your winner…ROCKO!!! DAYMON!!!

DT: What a fight! What a battle. Rocko Daymon has really earned his chance to win the EPW World Title at WrestleVerse.

FIRST: Good job Rocko, time to see what you’ve gotten yourself into it!

DT: Oh come on! First just hit the ring behind Daymon! Daymon turns…GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!! First with the belt and now waiting to strike…HERE COMES IMPULSE!!! Impulse hits the ring and First bails! Impulse tending to Daymon now as First stalks around the outside the ring seething…CASTOR STRIFE NOW ON THE RAMPWAY! Impulse sees him and glares daggers in his direction! Strife smiling as he looks at the ring…The four men that will headline WrestleVerse, the battle for the title, it’s all going down at MSG! This is going to be incredible folks, you HAVE to see it!

[Camera cuts between the ring, with Daymon and Impulse walking around trying to goad First and Castor towards the ring, with First and Castor yelling back at them. Castor starts heading towards the ring right as we FADE TO COPYRIGHT.]