GreggG
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
- Messages
- 810
- Points
- 18
(CUT TO: The San Diego Arena. The crowd is BUZZING, waiting for the Main Event pitting Alias against Troy Windham.)
BUCKLEY: Well, folks, it's almost time for a match a lot of pundits have been--
(CUE UP: "American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz.)
BUCKLEY: NOW WHAT'S UP?
BENSON: My pants... if this is who I think it is!
(CUT TO: "The American Woman" MZ. Teri Melton. Melton walks down to the ring, the smirk of a girl who has gotten everything in her life on her face. Melton has on an elegant black and white sun dress to her ankles but with no back and 4-inch heels. She paces around the ring and then struts up the steps, mic in hand.)
TERI: Well, if it isn't SAN DIEGO. (The crowd, like Pavolv's rats, POP at the mention of their city.) San Diego -- a SECOND RATE LOS ANGELES! (The crowd starts booing.) What -- be HONEST with yourselves. If ANY of you people could AFFORD to live in Los Angeles, you would! ALL OF YOU PEOPLE wish you could live amongst the starts, in a big mansion, with a nice car. ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WISH YOU COULD LIVE YOUR LIVES LIKE ME! But you can't and instead... you're forced to live here in SAN DIEGO... and do you know why you live in San Diego? Because you're either a Mexican housekeeper, a Mexican landscaper or a piece of uneducated white trash who might as well be a Mexican! (One fat guy at ringside is up, screaming, frothing at the mouth.) Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt? Did my comments about your abject poverty hurt you? Oh wait, IIIIII know what it was! You're SEXUALLY CONFUSED! Because you were just INSULTED by myself... a woman who you download pictures of and jerk off to before you go to sleep, denying to your fat filthy wife that you're doing so! You've spent your WHOLE WORTHLESS LIFE emasculated by women... and now you just got emasculated again. Well, bucko, here's the money shot for you -- my lawn needs mowing but I don't like my help in tatterred jean shorts. So you're fired! And you lost your dental benefirts, so you're kids will have to have their crooked brown teeth for another school picture day!
(The crowd is booing by now. Teri wows them again!)
TERI: I'm not out here to ridicule you people. You live with enough ridicule. I'm out here to TELL THE WORLD something important. You see, EVERYTHING I've touched in this sport turns to gold. I've managed champions, I've managed legends. I f*cked Hornet and then left his limp d*ck crying in a men's room stall. I'm now a PART OWNER of this league and while each and every one of you people can boo me and rail against me all you want, just know that by attending this evening, you bought me another crystal chandelier and another tudor mansion in another gated community not even listed on a map! And now... now I have my NEXT mission.
(The crowd is now chanting HOOOOO TEEEERS. HOOOOOOO TEEEEERS.)
TERI: Hooters! Hooters! You think THAT still bothers me? You want to see these, huh? (Teri shakes her breasts as the crowd applauds.) WELL THE ANSWER IS NO. All of you people in this rat trap arena could take all of the money in your pockets and combine it... and it STILL wouldn't come close to affording what it takes to see my aereolas. But I... The Alpha Female... The American Woman... I do have my EYES set on someone. I do have my EYES set on someone not only worthy enough to hold my hand and lay with me in bed at night... but someone with the ability to match with my mental acumen and proclaim for himself the CSWA Unified Championship... a belt which I *WILL* carry in my arms... just to make each and every ONE of you mad! Why will you be mad? Because each and every one of you dream at night of being with someone like me... but the only way you're able to is with a tube of lube and a vivid imagination! None of you are worthy for even one second of time with... The American Woman!
(CUE UP: "American Woman" as Teri leaves the ring, smirking. FTB.)
BUCKLEY: Well, folks, it's almost time for a match a lot of pundits have been--
(CUE UP: "American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz.)
BUCKLEY: NOW WHAT'S UP?
BENSON: My pants... if this is who I think it is!
(CUT TO: "The American Woman" MZ. Teri Melton. Melton walks down to the ring, the smirk of a girl who has gotten everything in her life on her face. Melton has on an elegant black and white sun dress to her ankles but with no back and 4-inch heels. She paces around the ring and then struts up the steps, mic in hand.)
TERI: Well, if it isn't SAN DIEGO. (The crowd, like Pavolv's rats, POP at the mention of their city.) San Diego -- a SECOND RATE LOS ANGELES! (The crowd starts booing.) What -- be HONEST with yourselves. If ANY of you people could AFFORD to live in Los Angeles, you would! ALL OF YOU PEOPLE wish you could live amongst the starts, in a big mansion, with a nice car. ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WISH YOU COULD LIVE YOUR LIVES LIKE ME! But you can't and instead... you're forced to live here in SAN DIEGO... and do you know why you live in San Diego? Because you're either a Mexican housekeeper, a Mexican landscaper or a piece of uneducated white trash who might as well be a Mexican! (One fat guy at ringside is up, screaming, frothing at the mouth.) Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt? Did my comments about your abject poverty hurt you? Oh wait, IIIIII know what it was! You're SEXUALLY CONFUSED! Because you were just INSULTED by myself... a woman who you download pictures of and jerk off to before you go to sleep, denying to your fat filthy wife that you're doing so! You've spent your WHOLE WORTHLESS LIFE emasculated by women... and now you just got emasculated again. Well, bucko, here's the money shot for you -- my lawn needs mowing but I don't like my help in tatterred jean shorts. So you're fired! And you lost your dental benefirts, so you're kids will have to have their crooked brown teeth for another school picture day!
(The crowd is booing by now. Teri wows them again!)
TERI: I'm not out here to ridicule you people. You live with enough ridicule. I'm out here to TELL THE WORLD something important. You see, EVERYTHING I've touched in this sport turns to gold. I've managed champions, I've managed legends. I f*cked Hornet and then left his limp d*ck crying in a men's room stall. I'm now a PART OWNER of this league and while each and every one of you people can boo me and rail against me all you want, just know that by attending this evening, you bought me another crystal chandelier and another tudor mansion in another gated community not even listed on a map! And now... now I have my NEXT mission.
(The crowd is now chanting HOOOOO TEEEERS. HOOOOOOO TEEEEERS.)
TERI: Hooters! Hooters! You think THAT still bothers me? You want to see these, huh? (Teri shakes her breasts as the crowd applauds.) WELL THE ANSWER IS NO. All of you people in this rat trap arena could take all of the money in your pockets and combine it... and it STILL wouldn't come close to affording what it takes to see my aereolas. But I... The Alpha Female... The American Woman... I do have my EYES set on someone. I do have my EYES set on someone not only worthy enough to hold my hand and lay with me in bed at night... but someone with the ability to match with my mental acumen and proclaim for himself the CSWA Unified Championship... a belt which I *WILL* carry in my arms... just to make each and every ONE of you mad! Why will you be mad? Because each and every one of you dream at night of being with someone like me... but the only way you're able to is with a tube of lube and a vivid imagination! None of you are worthy for even one second of time with... The American Woman!
(CUE UP: "American Woman" as Teri leaves the ring, smirking. FTB.)