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Anarky vs. Beast


Jan 10, 2004
New York
All RP for Anarky vs. Beast should be placed here.

Stipulation: Triple Flaming Tables Match

The RP/Angle submission deadline is Wednesday, July 14th, 2004. E-mail angles to enigma_fanatic@hotmail.com

Thank you and have fun!


Diva Tree
Jan 1, 2000

DISCLAIMER: The following promo contains profanity-laced tirades and references to vulgar sexual actions. It is not recommended for any creature that still breathes.

(CUEUP: "Eriatarka" by Mars Volta... )

(FADEIN... Anarky sitting in front of a brick wall... his arms are wrapped around his legs... and he just stares at the camera from his skull warpaint.)

ANARKY: "Hello, Beast.... my name... as you may have already figured out... is Anarky. If you want, you can call me 'Nark, or 'Narky, or 'Narkster... or whatever.

"I do not think we had been formally introduced. Oh, I know of you, Beast... even though you and I have never run in the same circles in this endless sea of sh*t promotions and corrupt titles...

"So do me a favor, Beast, and save me the history lesson. If you want to wallow in what titles you've won or who you've beat...

"... you are wasting your time.

"Who you know and who you beat don't mean sh*t now, Beast... because YOU have a problem, whether you like it or not.

"Because now, *I* am YOUR problem. And I ain't that big, Beast... six foot nothin'... 230 nothin'...

"But I got something else for you, Beast. Something I haven't introduced you to yet. A good friend-- NO, the BEST friend, Beast.

"My... sweet... everlasting... misery...

"My baby, Beast... my precious agony... and I want you to have it.

"I want you to have it again... and again... and again. Until you're smiling with your blood and making love to me with your fists...

"Fill me up, Beast. Impregnate me with your suffering... marry me with your powerbomb.

"I need it now more than ever. Because it never goes away... it never ceases, not for one f*cking MINUTE, Beast...

"I'm like a strung out whore, Beast. And you know what? There's nothing more dangerous than an addict, Beast. Not religion, not love, not glory. These things fade...

"... Because when the addict wants something, he doesn't let anything get in his way. Legality... morality... these are just for people like you... people who still hold on to something...

"Tell me, Beast... what will you do to me... what CAN you do to me. Will you drop me on my skull on the concrete... will you drop me through three fiery tables and bury me forever... ?

"Forever, Beast? There is no forever... only now... this moment... between you and I... and it'll last forever if you let it... if you embrace it.

"I will make sweet love to you with a steel chair... I will do whatever I want with you, because you're my whore...

"... you are ALL OF MY F*CKING WHORES...

"... it doesn't matter whether you know it or not. Whether or not you believe it.

"Because you breathe your life back into me when you shatter my bones... you fill me up again with your bodyslams and piledrivers...

"... my blood flows...

"... and the job is done... and you go on your way... like a good little whore.

"And then?"

(He smirks.)

ANARKY: "Then I begin again.

"And again.

"And again."

(FADEOUT to a wide, teeth-baring green.)


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Where have I heard this before?

[ Scene fades in to a standard black backdrop behind a chain link fence; the fence showing signs of disrepair - rusted in spots with broken links, creating holes you could throw a basketball through. In front of the backdrop stands Beast, dressed in jeans and a white Transformers tee with a big black Autobot sign in the middle of it , EPW World Heavyweight Championship belt slung over his left shoulder. ]

Beast: Anarky... I get it. Lack of order. No political structure. No principles or moral standards.

The absence of virtually anything.

[ Beast smiles. ]

Beast: Good to meet you, Anarky.

Remind me to give you bonus points for the tiny attempt at being original. I mean, changing the "ch" to the "k", well, that's just tremendous.

You know who I am. Congratulations. Some would say that this gives you the advantage. I just say that maybe I've been making waves lately in this little universe of ours, while you.... well, I guess you've just been flying a little under the radar.

Perhaps you've been wrestling in the wrong places. My two homes, A1E and EPW, are the last two places I'd call sh*t promotions. Let me tell you, I've been in some sh*t promotions my friend, but in some places...

[ Beast taps the title on his shoulder. ]

Beast: ...the streets are paved with gold.

Don't worry, I won't bore you with past history, Anarky. There's too much for me to tell. I won't drop any names. However, all you need to be concerned about with is the present. You're right. It doesn't matter who I beat. It doesn't matter how many times I've won titles in the past. Ditto for you as well.

All that matters is what's going on in the here and now. There's just one thing you need to know. There's a reason that I carry this title around with me.

Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

While we're on the subject of problems... I think you've got things all mixed up *Beast holds his thumb and forefinger an inch apart* just a little bit, son.

I think *you're* the one that has all the problems.

Now, Annie - may I can you Annie? Thanks.

Annie, first and foremost, you're stepping into the ring with me. That should be your number one concern. But have you ever thought of having someone take a look at the grey matter between your ears? There just might be a few broken wires up there.

Aww, the hell with being nice or politically correct. You're a sick f*ck.

But then again, you might consider that a compliment.

Here's the deal, Annie. I lied. Yup. I sure did. When I said I wasn't going to talk about the past, I was kidding.

At least a little bit.

Everywhere I've been... every promotion I've ever been in, or hell, the majority of promotions out there... only about a dozen times every generation, someone comes along, wears black, paints their face, and tries to intimidate everyone else into thinking that they can't be hurt.

[ Beast puts on a goofy look and wiggles his fingers in a mocking scary gesture. ]

Beast: "Ooh, look at me. I can't be hurt. I can't feel pain. Beat the **** out me - I love it!"

[ Back to normal talk. ]

Beast: Newsflash, junior. At six inches shorter and fifty pounds lighter, you're going to have to work a hell of a lot harder than that to intimidate me. But, I'll give you a couple more bonus points, since at least you've been a little more entertaining at your schtick than most of the others I've seen try to pull it off.

However, the fact of the matter is this, Annie. It's old. It's tired. It's played out. While you have some entertainment value, you're the blue tie that every kid gets his dad at Christmas time for seven years straight. If I had a nickel for everyone that's played this game, I'd have enough to buy the new Transformers Energon Megatron, a Happy Meal, and some thumbtacks.

You don't feel pain. Congratulations. You're able to block the pain out of your mind so you don't feel it. Something any well-trained fighter, wrestler, boxer, stuntman, or clown can do.

You can dress it up, take it out, feed it, and then bring it home and make love to it all you want, Annie, but I don't know what little omniverse you've got cooked up inside that peanut shell of yours, but out here, in reality, it all comes down to human physiology.

I could wrap you up inside Judas' Cradle and snap your shins. Are you going to feel the pain? Maybe not, and frankly, it doesn't matter. However, when you try to stand up, those legs are going to suddenly remind you that you've learned the best Sid impersonation this side of the Atlantic. No matter how much it hurts or doesn't hurt, you're going back down to the canvas, your feet dangling at degrees that just aren't humanly possible.

Even as you suggested, I could drop you on your head on the concrete, it doesn't matter how much pain you can withstand or how much crack you're on, but when your brain gets jarred hard enough and slams into the side of your skull...

Your lights are going OUT.

[ Beast adjusts the title on his shoulder. ]

Beast: But since you've been gracious enough to tell me so much about yourself, Annie, allow me to share just a little bit of myself.

"Hello, my name is Beast and I have an addiction."

Yes, Annie, I have a vice of my own.

It's called winning.

All I care about is getting my hand raised after the sound of the closing bell.

What will I do to you?

Listen very closely: Whatever it takes to make that happen.

I'm not going to stand here and rattle off a list of things that I'm going to do to you in that ring. I'll just tell you that I'll adapt to the situation. You want to wrestle? I'll wrestle. You want to get nasty and bring out the weapons? I welcome you to bring that side of me out.

I'll let you fill in the blanks. It's like one of those "Choose Your Adventure" books.

You get to choose your own path.

However, no matter which road you take, in this case, they all lead to one destination.

Little Orphan Annie being slammed through a few firey slabs of wood.

I just hope your face paint isn't flammable.

[ FTB ]


Diva Tree
Jan 1, 2000

DISCLAIMER: The following promo contains profanity that may not be suitable for children under three. If profanity offends you in any way, shape, or form, please turn off the television and proceed to f*ck yourself.

(CUEUP: "() - Track 4" by Sigur Ros... )

(FADEIN to an empty ring... Anarky is sitting on a stool in beat-up jeans and an old Guns n' Roses t-shirt... he's not wearing any facepaint. He's got a lit cigarette in his hand.)

ANARKY: "Now that we've been formally introduced, Beast, allow me to skip the pleasantries and get straight to the point.

"From your introduction, I learned two very important things about you.

"Number one... you don't have any clue who the f*ck I am.

"Number two... you are one of the dumbest f*cking whores I have ever met in my ten years in this business. And I have met some dumb f*cking whores, Beast. You should be proud."

(He smiles and takes a drag of his cig.)

ANARKY: "You really covered all the bases there, Beast. I mean, really, if someone had a wrestler stereotype rulebook, you followed that sh*t to the T.

"Made fun of my name and pointed out the intentional misspelling? Check.

"Came up with a name that's been used a thousand times before in some vain attempt to emasculate me? Check.

"Bragged about what titles you've won? Hmmmm, check.

"Pretty much guaranteed victory? Check."

(He puts out his cigarette, leans back, and yawns.)

ANARKY: "You'll have to excuse me for not getting down on my knees and worshipping quite yet, Beast.

"You think I'm some kind of goth monster, Beast? You think I don't feel pain?

"You didn't listen to a word I said, did you? I didn't say that I didn't FEEL pain, Beast. I'm f*cking HUMAN, Beast. I can't just tell my synapses to not fire, can I?

"But people like you never listen. You only hear what you want to hear. What you EXPECT to hear. You see the skull facepaint, and you think, oh, here we go again, some kind of monster that doesn't feel pain.

"I wear my warpaint proudly, boy. Because I'm a modern day gladiator. I'm a lion that feasts on Christians in the Colosseum.

"But instead, I have to listen to some guy from the X-Men chide me for not being ORIGINAL ENOUGH. But you don't know the first f*cking thing about me. It's obvious from the moment you opened your mouth that you had no idea who you were fighting or what you were up against.

"Maybe it's just confidence, Beast. Or maybe you just don't care.

"Me, Beast? I think it's plain f*cking stupid. I don't know your whole history, Beast, but I know where you've been and roughly what you've done. I at least had enough sense to figure that out on my own.

"But I guess you need me to hold your hand in this one, Beast. I guess I'm going to have to do the work for both of us dumb f*cking whores.

"So let me tell you a story, Beast. When I got into this business, I was like any other punk kid. I wanted the Gold, and I wanted it fast. And I'd do anything it'd take to get it.

"And I did.

"I made the right friends, shook the right hands, betrayed the right people, bribed the right refs... for a shiny little piece of gold.

"And when I got on top of that mountain, and I looked down, you know what I saw? I saw sh*t. I saw a bunch of whiny little girls who all wanted the same f*cking sh*t piece of gold as everyone else. Like CHILDREN, they fought over it.

"And why? For an icon? A symbol of greatness?


(He stands up and walks close to the camera, framing only his face in the shot.)

ANARKY: "The gold is meaningless. Any moron could stumble his way into a Championship. And in this business, respect is a myth. The gold doesn't get you respect. It only gets you more enemies.

"Ultimately, don't we both know what this is really all about? The winning... the gold... the glory.

"Penis... f*cking... envy.

"So why don't we both just save some time and rip down our pants and see whose is bigger. Because that's what this is all about. It's about insecurity. It's about feeling worthy. It's about how BIG YOUR F*CKING COCK IS.

"And to me, Beast... well that's just sad. Pathetic. You think I'm crazy? Hell, I think I'm one of the only sane ones left. Because at least I know I'm sh*t. At least I don't have any pretentions about what I do or who I am.

"I walked away from the business, Beast, and I walked away on top. Because I didn't want it. Let the fools have their gold. Because nothing's ever as good when you finally get it. You just need something more. Something better.

"So I found something better. Something real, Beast. Something beautiful.

"And it was so simple... so obvious.

"It was the pain. The single unifying thing in this business. The very thing we share... the thing that defines us.

"Everything else is incidental.

"Right now, sitting here, Beast, I am numb. I am numb to the politics and the social conditioning and to the media and to the world's infinite suffering.

"But in the ring, Beast... in the ring I am alive again. I have my purpose. My definition.

"And in the moment when we share our pain... our suffering... we are connected, you and I. Were are connected by being the dumb whores that we are... by spilling blood for the unending bloodlust of the fans.

"You see, Beast... you don't get paid to win titles. You get paid to hurt people. You are a professional giver of pain. Nothing more, nothing less.

"So I'm a sick f*ck because I ENJOY it? Because I LIVE FOR IT?! You ALL live for it. You ALL are defined by it. And yet I'M the crazy one.

"Oh, no, Beast... YOU'RE the crazy one. You're the sick f*ck, so to speak. You're just in denial. You see purpose where there is none. You see glory in little pieces of gold. You see respect in the size of your d*ck.

"I ain't trying to scare you, Beast. Unlike you, I know full well what I got myself into. I know that I could sit here with a chainsaw and start hacking up little retarded kids and it wouldn't scare you.

"You're too dumb to be scared. Too proud to be afraid. No matter, Beast. I don't do this for your fear.

"I do it because I love it. I do it because I wanna bust a load every time you scream out in pain. I do it because it makes me feel like every synapse in my body is firing at the same time when you drop me through a table.

"Outside of that ring, I am nothing. Just an empty shell, waiting for its next fix. And maybe I'm not as young as I used to be... maybe I'm not as quick as I once was.

"But you aren't even listening. I'm wasting my breath again. It's alright, Beast, I forgive you. I was wasting it breathing anyway.

"All you understand is that title slung over your shoulder. All you understand is where you've been.

"Guess what, Beast. You aren't in EPW any more. That title you got? Don't mean sh*t here. Next time, leave that sh*t at home. I'd rather you just whipped out your cock instead, Beast, because I'm getting real tired of this symbolic behavior.

"You're in my world now, Beast, whether you know it or not. You'll serve your purpose like all the other dumb little whores. You'll play your role, and I'll play with you, and ultimately, once the dance is done, we'll go our separate ways.

"It doesn't matter if I win or lose, Beast, and I'm certainly not quite as stupid as to guarantee victory over someone I barely know, unlike yourself.

"Because in the end, we are all whores to chaos. It does with us what it wants. And there isn't a f*cking thing you or I or anyone else can do about it.

"Except enjoy the ride. And I'm going to, Beast. I'm going to enjoy this very much.

"You don't know me yet, Beast... you don't know what Anarky is...

"... but you will. I promise."

(FADEOUT to a wide smile.)

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