(CUT TO: A burning trash can fire set in the deep woods. Sitting on a log next to it, wearing a dusty suit jacket, bola string tie and a 10-gallon hat is LONE WOLF, the ashamed Native American. Next to him, sitting on the log, his head cupped in his hands, is WildStar.)
WildStar: (weeping) Maybe... maybe I should just quit now! Maybe... maybe I should just hang up the boots! Three years ago, my competition last week would not have lasted FIVE SECONDS in the ring with me... THE FIVE STAR WRESTLER. Three years ago, I was hailed as the BEST POUND FOR POUND WRESTLER IN THE WORLD. The greatest tag team champion who ever lived. A man with the most lethal wrestling offense the world had ever seen. Technical mastery. Aerial perfection. A true ring general capable of beating EVERYONE in the wrestling world?
And last week? Last week what happened to me?
I mistimed a Five Star Frog Splash... a move I have performed tens of thousands of times... knocking the wind out of my sails... and I... I was pinned. Pinned by a guy who doesn't know a chinlock from a European singlet!
LONE WOLF: WildStar, boss, perhaps you should do what my people, The Choctaw, do when the white man tows our RV's due to unpaid loans...
WILDSTAR: What's that?
LONE WOLF: Take some back pain pills and mix it with a stolen bottle of Banker's Club gin.
WILDSTAR: Hmm... (WildStar contemplates the idea.) No, I'm going to do something else instead.
LONE WOLF: What's that?
WILDSTAR: I'm going to hit the gym and train for our next match like it's the LAST match I ever have as a professional wrestler... because if I lose one more time in this competition... it WILL be the last match I ever have. Congratulations, someone got the upper hand on the.. (does the FIVE STAR HAND GESTURE) FIVE STAR WRESTLER. But now you lit a fire under my ass... and now someone's gonna get burned. Chainz, Anton Assault... get ready to witness the greatest wrestling performance of your lifetime. I'm going to pin BOTH your asses and show you what in-ring perfection is ALL ABOUT.
LONE WOLF: Cool, man. Then afterwards you wanna pop some back pain pills and mix it with Banker's Club gin? I mean, my cousin stole this bottle and gave it to me before the park rangers killed him. Might as well drink it
WILDSTAR: Sure thing, Lone Wolf. Sure thing. (FTB)
