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Battles vs Smallz

Mad Dog

Original Gangsta
Jan 1, 2000
(FADEIN to Boogie Smallz in front of a GXW backdrop. He is sporting an old school red Adidas jump suit with the Hip Hop Express logo platinum and ice medallion around his neck. Be is smoking a blunt and stops consuming it long enough to cut a promo.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: GXW…all I gots to say is…its about DAMN TIME! I was, ready to make my big splash in GXW about a month ago…I was set to make my pay per view debut for this place at Global Warfare. But there was a slight problem…they couldn’t find anyone out there to put me up against. So now the PPV is history and I am finally set to show GXW what Boogie Smallz can do on the solo-tip. They got me matched up at Onslaught against some cracka ass punk named John Jacob Jingleheimersmidt…or some s(BLEEP). With a name like that…you need to go slap your mama!

I hate to do it to ya, Johnny, but you ain’t gonna mess up my wrestling debut. You ain’t gonna go out there and make small work out of Boogie Smallz (Shakes his head.) it just don’t work that way! Now I ain’t heard anything out of you…maybe you got something else on your mind, maybe you are running scared in the back trying to stay clear of me…then again maybe you are a little choked up. Not choked up of emotions…nah, on something else…choked up on HATERADE! You see me, you see how I gets down, you peep how all my fans, my NIZZOS, cheer me on…and you are just hatin’ it! But Jingleheimersmidt, it don’t have to be like that…the choice is yours.

Now getting off of this subject and on to something else. I came out on GXW TV a month ago and dropped a bombshell…told the world where a well-known CSWA superstar was gonna be going for a solo career. It did great ratings, the GXW research department showed I was well approved within the 18-24 year-old demographic, and that I was a very marketable individual. With that said, someone…one of the suits, maybe even Zieba himself, decided to capitalize on my likeness. They decided to run some futhamuckin’ commercial sandwiched in-between my interview! Now normally I wouldn’t trip, but since it was my TV time…my interview, I think I should be getting some royalties or somethin’. I’ll let it slide for now, but if you do that s(BLEEP) again, I’ll have to call Cochran…and YOU KNOW what that means!
(Broadcast is interrupted by snowy picture and a commercial begins to air of a mother in front of a washer and dryer, doing her laundry. She takes a scoop of Tide out of a large box and dumps it into the washer.)

MOM: My kids make some of the biggest messes.

(Cut to several shots of a little boy playing in the yards and getting dirt and grass stains all over his clothes.)

MOM: Sometimes its just too much for me to handle. Those darn stains just won’t come out.

(Cut to a shot of her son at school, on the playground, getting his ass kicked by the school bully. The bully gets up and the kid’s face is covered in blood. The blood stains a white shirt.)

MOM: But no matter how big the job, the Tide with Instant Blood Remover works the best! I recently killed my husband and left his body under a bridge a few miles away. This stuff got out the toughest stains. Normally a bloodstain would linger on the shirt forever…but now that Tide has new scientific technology created by some of the brightest criminals Tide could get on their payroll. (Smiles) Its worth it and will remove any physical evidence that might hide deep down in the fibers of your shirt.

(Cut to time-lapse photography with a blood stained shirt. A dash of detergent is sprinkled on, followed by a rinsing with water. The stain is removed miraculously. A big box of Tide with Instant Blood Remover is shown on the screen, along with a disclaimer reading…)

DISCLAIMER: Tide does not promote, nor agree with murder. However if you do kill someone…our product will cover the evidence for you.

(The broadcast ends and Boogie is still cutting a promo…not aware of the commercial that just aired.)

Until then, I got some dime-pieces waitin’ on me at the Marriott, a phat sack of bud, a fifth of Alize’, and enough condoms to last me over the weekend. So if you don’t mind…I got some stickin’ to do! (Smiles)



New member
Jul 8, 1998
Sierra Vista, Arizona
Know the man

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-24-02 AT 08:38 PM (EDT)]OORP: Posted for Steve Huey

[font color=red](It's a lonely sound the howl of a wolf at night. Frightening to some. The echo of an answering coyote's yip is almost as lonely, or eerie depending on the point of view. Lonely or frightening, it's pretty much subjective. A lot of things in life are subjective. Subject to one's own individual opinion. To the man sitting at the campfire on the banks of the Rio Grande which seperate Texas from Mexico, the sounds of the wolf and coyote are only familiar, comforting sounds. Neither lonely or frightening. On a rocky butte above him the silhoette of the wolf is highlighted by the back glow of the full moon in the Texas sky. The coyote is no where to be seen, simply a response from the distance. A splash in the rolling waters of the Rio Grande indicates the presence of a leaping fish.

All natural, comforting sounds to the man sitting at the campfire. Another log is tossed onto the fire and it flairs to life, illuminating finally the man. Even sitting by the fire propped up by a fallen tree, the man is obviously tall. Dressed in blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and jean jacket, his long raven black hair flowing from beneath the black stetson on his head cascades around his shoulders. Out of camera view, the soft neighing of a nearby horse is heard.

Below the shadow cast on the upper part of his face by the rim of the stetson, pearly white teeth are revealed in a sardonic smile. The man pulls the black leather cowboy boots from his feet, and warms his toes by the fire. Slowly he pushes the stetson back from his forehead, to reveal pale steel gray eyes. The smile still present.)[/font]

[font color=black]JJB: The name is Battles. John Jacob Battles. Johnathon after my father. Jacob after my grandfather. People generally just call me John, or JJB. Nobody however, calls me Jingleheimersmidt. And nobody ever slapped my Mama while she lived. No one was even foolish enough to try.

I'll admit Boogie Smallz, your promotional shot insults were amusing. You even guessed my middle name. Oh wait. No you didn't. You just weren't intelligent enough to research the man you are fighting, so you had to come up with a comic comment to hide your ignorance.

Well allow me to help you out Boogie. I'm going to let you know who you are facing. So hopefully your next promo won't be so boring it has to be interupted by a commercial.

Oh, wait again. That was a fake commercial GXW aired to keep you down, and to hide how incredibly boring and unoriginal you are wasn't it?? Hmm. What was I thinking.

More than likely it was your own productional attempts to sell yourself through humor. Let me tell you something, Hoss. Stepping into the ring in a wrestling match is no laughing matter, unless your wrestling skills are as bad as your on camera attempts at humor.

Now I don't know you from Adam. But just from your promo, I know the type of man you are. I know exactly what I'm facing. You're a typical pot smoking, big talking street thug. The type of scum I used to put behind bars. The type of low-life that shouldn't be allowed on television to corrupt the children who watch GXW with your antics.

Your the egotistical, self-absorbed punk that barely deserves notice, despite how important you think you are. Your "Nizzo's"? I don't even know what that is. I don't care to know.

To be fair, you should know your opponent as well. I'm the man who is going to "mess up" your wrestling debut in GXW whether you like it or not. I'm the ex-Texas ranger who doesn't put up with your type of crap! I'm the mean a$$ Apache that you don't know how to contend with!!

But more importantly, I'm the man coming into GXW to keep you, and people like you from treating the fans and the children like crap. I'm the man who plans to show the viewers there is a better way. I'm the man who fights for his beliefs. Fights like no one you have ever seen before!

I AM the man who is going to mess up your debut in GXW.

Justice is about to be served in GXW. The APACHE style of JUSTICE!!!![/font]

[font color=red](leaning back against the fallen tree, and tugging his stetson low across his eyes, Battles was obviously drifting off to sleep. In the background, the wolf howled mournfully again. Was it a portent of what GXW was about to experience?{/font]

Mad Dog

Original Gangsta
Jan 1, 2000
Oh please...tell me more...

(FADEIN to Boogie Smallz sitting at home on a leather sofa. He has the widescreen digital TV hooked up to a PS2 with GXW’s latest game, GXW Global Warfare, playing on it. Boogie has the split screen option on the television on and on the other side of the screen the latest John J. Battles promo airs. As it comes to an end, Boogie smiles and laughs at what he sees.)

(Leaning back against the fallen tree, and tugging his stetson low across his eyes, Battles was obviously drifting off to sleep.)

(Smallz reaches over into an ashtray and retrieves a blunt he had put out earlier. He sparks it up and marinates in the smoke for a moment before playing with his remote control. He makes a full screen of Battles’ face and pauses his TiVo.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: Now hold the f(BLEEP) up now, WHOADIE! You come out here, cut a promo at a campfire and you tell me how MY promos put you to sleep? What does it say to you when YOUR OWN promos knocked YOU the hell out!? I don’t give a damn if you’re a cop, a utility worker, a biker…whatever VILLAGE PERSON you wanna be, hey…do your thang…guy. But when your thang interferes with mine…WE GOT ISSUES! I will be the first to admit, I got no clue who you are…and quite honestly, most of the mofos I face…I don’t know, so how is this match any different? You are just someone standin’ in my way…and if you don’t (Starts bobbing his head and raps a line out of the song “Move B!+ch” by Ludacris.) MOVE B!+CH…GET OUT THE WAY, (Back in his normal tone and posture.) than Boogie Smallz may have to LULLABYE YO’ ASS!

As for my nizzos, my whoadies, my fans out there that have been raisin’ the roof for Boogie Smallz way back since ’94…keep on keepin’ on, because cracka cop thinks he knows what you people want…he thinks he’s got a lock on what the fans want. (Shakes his head.) Did people take a liking to the Big Bossman? Did the fans pack the house whenever the Mountie was main eventin’? Oh yeah…they didn’t because people, bein’ the general public, hate cops! I hate cops and by you admitting you are one, well…I got a little payback for a lot of brothas that got beat down by some crooked, low-down, cracka ass cops.

And what was it that you said? Let me rewind my handy TiVo from this scene of you asleep.

(Boogie rewinds the TiVo to a spot in the tape and plays it.)

You're a typical pot smoking, big talking street thug. The type of scum I used to put behind bars. The type of low-life that shouldn't be allowed on television to corrupt the children who watch GXW with your antics.

First of all, if anyone lets their kids watch GXW…that’s THEIR FAULT. This isn’t a show for kids…anyone in their right mind can see that. What I do, how I act…it ain’t any different than what Pookie or Lil’ Ray Ray do around the corna’. I ain’t their parents, I do what I do…and if you look at any arena I wrestle…most of the fans show their support of me. I’m not a street thug…I may be CRIMINAL MINDED but I ain’t a criminal. And as far as “low-life”? (Takes a puff of his blunt and slowly lets it out as he speaks.) Ain’t a damn thing LOW in my life. (Smiles and releases the rest of the smoke.)

So Jingleheimersmidt, I wish you all the luck in the world…but it won’t be enough to stop Boogie Smallz from going one step closer to greatness in GXW. Speaking of our great company. What’s this s(BLEEP) that aired during my damn promo!? I keep tellin’ you people to quit it…but you keep doin’ it anyway? Do I gotta come to the studios myself and watch you people broadcast my s(BLEEP)? One week it’s Docolax, the next its Tide…when is it gonna stop? This is ridiculous. You wanna make loot off of me…I gotta get a cut…simple as that! I tell ya what…the next…

(The picture cuts to black and rolls right into a commercial for “Tough Actin” Tenectin. A hairy guy is shown spraying his feet, while several charts and facts are listed about the spray. It later shows the man walking down the street with a smile on his face and the Tenectin logo appears.)



I'll tell you more, then.....

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-28-02 AT 03:03 PM (EDT) by EZieba (admin)]OORP: This is Erik Zieba. I have allowed this RP since Steve has been having problems with the site. He emailed me and informed me of the problems so I'm allowing this one RP to go through.

[font color=red](The Palamino is a gorgeous looking Quarter Horse. The yellow tanned coat, with the light blonde tail and mane flowing in the wind as it charges around the corral it has been trapped in. It cuts to the left, then right, as the man before it holds out his arms in a non-threatening manner, but continiously cuts out it's route of retreat. He speaks in a low soothing manner, but the camera crew can't pick up the words. The stallion could obviosly stomp the man into the dirt if it charged, but his manner, and his soothing voice keeps it at bay.

The Palomino had been backed into a corner of the corral, and began to dig at the dirt with it's hoof. It had been backed into a corner, and was prepared to come out fighting.

Slowly the man dropped his arms, and backed away from the stallion. He stood before it. He looked deep into it's eyes and saw the majesty in them. He saw the spirit in the creature!

John J. Battles watched this majestic creature, but unlike other ranchers, he was not interested in "breaking" the animal. In crushing it's spirit. He was interested in making it his friend.

Battles walked to the fence of the corral and knocked off the top pole, allowing the stallion to leap over and run free.

He wasn't worried. His ranch was expansive, and he was sure he and the Palomino would meat again.

Battles turned to face the camera. He leaned back against the fence post and took off his stetson and hung it on the post.[/font]

[font color=black]JJB: You know. I find it amusing, that a man who goes by the name "Boogie" Smallz, had the gall to say my Mother should be smacked for naming me as she and my father did. I'll ask you Boogie. What was YOUR mother thinking when she gave you that monicher?

I guess it's fair to say I don't know you either. I don't even know your real name, and I refuse to think your parents actually gave you the christened name "Boogie".

But again, I know the "type" of man you are. You aren't only a low life, pot smoking punk, and a thug. You are a racist as well.

"Cracka" cop. Unless I'm mistaken, "cracka'" is a racial slur for caucasions. But look at me, Boogie. Sure. My father was white. But take a closer look, Boogie. I'm Apache through and through!!

You have no problem with me, but you want to make racial slurs. Why aren't racial slurs a problem, Boogie?

I'll tell you what racial is. It's people like you with no pride in their heritage who promote racial stereotyping.

It's people like you who put your own race down with your nonsense, and "pimp" attitude. You sell the stereotypes. You don't stand against them.

It's people like you who promote this injustice to children.

No. You aren't responsible for allowing children to watch wrestling and the way people like you display it. It actually is up to the parents. But what if the parents aren't home?

But you are responsible for what you display. You are responsible for the way you act on camera and for the things you say, knowing full well children are going to see it!!!

A man, any man, is responsible for his own actions!! It's a shame you don't realize that.

Take another toke of that blunt Smallz, but don't think for a second you aren't responsible for what the children see when you are all to happy to put your depraved lifestyle out before them.

Do not for a second believe you aren't accountable!

Quite frankly. I'm here to show you differently.

No, Boogie. It isn't your fault. But you damn sure well take advantage of it to sell yourself instead of doing something about it.

You'll put down your own people with your self-promoting stereotype.

But it isn't your fault. You aren't to blame.

That's just you being you.

Well guess what. This is me being me. I care!! And I won't stand aside and let scum like you influence the kids and fans of GXW!!!!!!

You don't have a problem with me as long as I don't get in your way??? Well guess what Smallz. I'm right in your face!!!!!!

That's the "Dealio", as you like to stereotype it.

I'm not in your way Smallz. I'm in your "FACE"!!!!!!! Deal with it!![/color]

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same of them."

John Wayne, "The Shootist"

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