A hunter at sleep catches no prey
[FADE IN. Max and Jecht are training in the weights room made available to all EPW wrestlers at the Madison Square Garden]
Jecht: I wonder if they're gonna show up.
Max: Who?
Jecht: Windham's lapdogs.
Max: Ich weiss es nicht. I have yet to even see them appear on the Television to give the fans a headache. Maybe they are less intelligent than Leonard gave them credit for?
Jecht: Would never surprise me. The last time I saw people that moronic was the Monsta Boyz when they did that one off here.
Max: Ja, oder Covert Ops, oder Doe and Lohrigan.
Jecht: Maybe one day, Dan will take Leonard's advice and implement an IQ test. Lord knows this place needs one.
Max: At least it will be a sell-out crowd tonight.
Jecht: Always good to work in front of a full-house. When did this place sell out again?
Max: The day tickets went on sale.
Jecht: Should be interesting.
[Just then, an EPW techie walks into the shot]
Techie: Excuse me guys, Mr Johnson sent me. He wants you two to get changed and meet him in staging area B.
Max: Warum?
Techie: Excuse me?
Jecht: Why?
Techie: Oh. Because De La Rossi and Zoltan have just sent their tape in.
Jecht: I was wondering how long they were going to keep everyone waiting. Has Dan said anything about their delay?
Techie: Dunno. If I know Dan though he's not happy - he never thought it fair on the fans for the wrestlers to hold back on promotional work this long.
Max: OK, ok. Tell Mr Johnson we'll be there in zwanzig minuten.
[The techie looks baffled]
Jecht: Twenty minutes.
[The techie walks out of shot, looking for Leonard again. FADE OUT]
How predictable.
[FADE IN. Standing in front of a Black Dawn logo, stand Max and Jecht of Blitz, dressed ready to wrestle, the tag team title belts over their shoulders looking resplendent. Between them stands Leonard Johnson, who for once seems to have actually spent money on his suit, itself looking immaculate]
LJ: I thought it would take you time and effort to put together a sentence. I just never imagined you would take quite this long. You've finally decided to put to the world, your words. At the last minute.
I'm sorry to say, friend, that tickets for Black Dawn sold out far in advance of you putting that little tape together - unless Dan Ryan's financial department are fiddling the books. This isn't some two-bit operation like the other companies you mentioned. This is Empire Pro Wrestling, where the best rise to the top, and the rest, like you, hide in shame at your own ineptitude.
I have said it before, I wish Dan would insist on an intelligence test for his wrestlers. At least something to ensure they can read and use a computer to scout their opponents. Then again, what would one expect from a man who obviously has a fascination with the inner-workings of one of the most racist organisations on this planet? The amount he stutters when he says America makes one wonder if in a past life he was a Grand Dragon of that organisation.
Not that it matters. The non-entities have no chance of taking the belts.
[Leonard reaches inside his jacket, pulling out an envelope. Opening it, he removes a sheet of paper, folded neatly. After unfolding it, he shows it to the camera, motioning it to zoom in. This is what it says –
August De La Rossi grew up the son of a prominent South Florida commercial real estate developer. August attended the finest private and prep schools and had everything one could ask for in life. Except, however, he was not happy. Disaffected as a teenager, August became attracted to punk rock, radical left wing politics and the world of modern art. Having flunked out of several rich-kid colleges and art schools, August now chases his other love -- the world of professional wrestling, where he hopes to use as a stepping stone to help influence the world with his political views.
August has used his family's connections to get an "in" in both Hollywood and pro wrestling -- that as the lackey/protégé of wrestling legend, actor and playboy Troy Windham. So far, he has proven himself to be very smug, condescending and annoying.
Not much is known about The Mysterious Zoltan. One half of Troy Windham's Entourage, the jet setting Windham claims to have found Zoltan serving as a bar bouncer at a posh nightclub on the Mediterranean island of Ibiza -- or, perhaps in Thailand, or in Naples.
What is known about Zoltan is this. He's very large and intimidating. His head is bald aside from the letter Z shaved on each side. He is always shirtless, oiled and flexing his muscles. He wears giant ancient Roman-style chains around his neck (The Unchained Beast is his other nickname) and inexplicably wears furry boots.
Credit: Empire Pro Wrestling, http://www.fwrestling.com/host/EmpirePro/roster.html
Leonard folds the paper after thirty seconds, placing it back in the envelope]
LJ: You know, it's rather a shame that someone with your background cannot even do basic research, Rossi. When you've watched this tape, rewind it and pause for the six hours it will take someone with your mental capacity to type in the web address where you can see the Empire Pro roster. You should also invest in tapes - the things you claim you'll be the first to do have already been done. By each and every single team to hold these belts. How sad - you're over eighteen months behind the times. Fighting under a has-been will do that to you.
I could catalogue the errors you made in your attempt at a promotional vignette, but I would be here all day. Suffice to say, if that is the best you can come up with - then not even Derek Stolz would have any difficulty against you.
Black Dawn is supposed to be a mega-event, and for the two of you it will be. It will be the largest event you'll ever appear on. Beaten and battered, I doubt the promoters of the two minor-leagues you call home will appreciate you on their roster.
But at least you'll have daddy and his contacts to fall back on.
[FADE OUT]