IWF's The Fuse (Ep. 1)
(CUE UP: “Mind the Drift” by Big Business.)
(The shot opens up on an ordinary fibrous cord sitting by itself along a black background. Off camera, we hear something like a match being struck... and a small flame is soon carried into the frame by a disembodied hand. As it touches the cord, a sparkling and fast-burning orb of flame forms and works its way down the length of the thread. In the next shot, as the fire passes by, it reveals a set of words hanging overhead...)
International Wrestling Federation Presents...
THE FUSE
(We cut to a studio. The camera slowly tracks in on two silhouetted figures sitting behind a broadcast table. The music fades out as the studio lights come up, AARON CREED and TERRY “THE IDOL” ANDERSON are sitting there with million-dollar smiles and a large flatscreen behind them, currently showing the new and pimped-out IWF logo.)
Aaron Creed
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the official International Wrestling Federation hype show -- THE FUSE, coming to you LIVE from our studio in Seattle, Washington! In case you don’t know me yet, my name is Aaron Creed, and with me is my regular partner in crime...
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Terry “THE IDOL” Anderson!!
Aaron Creed
...and we are the IWF commentary team!
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Aaron, you ugly son of a b*tch... it feels good to be BACK behind the table after all these years!
Aaron Creed
For once, Terry, I can agree with you on something! But forging on... IWF has returned with a new generation of professional wrestlers, and its premiere wrestling showcase -- CHAIN REACTION -- is just a short while away!
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Oh man, I’m so excited I could PEE!!
Aaron Creed
On tonight’s program, we’ll be taking a closer look at some of the talent scheduled to appear at the event!
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Tell the peeps just who they can looking forward to seein’, Aaron!
(Creed hits a button the table. On the screen appears ERIK MATEO.)
Aaron Creed
For one, we can expect an appearance by this man, ERIK MATEO...
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Hell of a talent from my hometown of Las Vegas, and the last man to be LVW Champion, if I recall correctly!
(Creed hits the button again and the image fades to SCOTT DOUGLAS.)
Aaron Creed
Recently signed hometown talent, SCOTT DOUGLAS...
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Also known as “Sup Pop Scott!"
(Creed hits the button again and the image fades to MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER.)
Aaron Creed
Here’s someone some of you fans might recognize from appearances in New Frontier and Empire Pro, MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER...
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
WHOA, MAMA!! Bang my gavel and put my in CONTEMPT, judge, cause this law-chick is SMOKIN’!
(Creed visibly rolls his eyes as he cues the next image, and PERFECTION appears on the screen.)
Aaron Creed
Here’s another new talent scheduled to appear. He goes by the name PERFECTION, and appears to think pretty highly of himself!
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
And based on the way he talks, I’d say he’s probably spot on! Can we get a clip of those comments from earlier in the week?
(Creed hits another button, and we get a quick highlight from Perfection’s promo.)
Perfection
This is what people long to be, and what people long to see. Sperm quiver in the balls of men because of my sheer alpha presence. So, when it comes to ten thousand dollars, who else would the fans pick as a top performer?
Top in looks. Top in style. Top in... bed. And the world, the world is my literal oyster to crack.
(The highlight fades to the IWF logo as Terry slaps the table.)
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Hell yeah, Perfection! You CRACK that oyster!
I tell you, Aaron, I see a man in him that could potentially LEAD this company in the right direction!
Aaron Creed
If you ask me, it seems a little bold for someone to boast complete and absolute perfection in every aspect of life! I mean... NOBODY is really perfect.
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Except Perfection!
Aaron Creed
Bah... and just what makes you think that?
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
He just SAID it, of course!
Aaron Creed
Do you just assume when people say something, it’s automatically true no matter what?!
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Well, DUH!! See, Aaron... I put a little-known thing called TRUST into certain people when I recognize they have the right qualities! I’ve lived by that philosophy my entire life, and LOOK at me!
(He puts a couple thumbs to his chest and flashes a daring smile to the camera, spreading many creases across his orange and aged face.)
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
I mean, I’m a BADASS! I’m a SEXUAL MAVEN, Aaron! I’m “THE IDOL”!!
Aaron Creed
Whatever, Terry... in any case, Perfection wasn’t the only man to get some comments out there in the past week. We also heard from another hometown talent... KERRY KUROYAMA, straight out of Rocko Daymon’s Seattle wrestling school, the Dojo! Let’s hear a bit of what he had to say...
(Creed hits the replay button on his table to bring up a clip of KERRY KUROYAMA.)
Kerry Kuroyama
All I can promise is that when I step through those ropes for my professional wrestling debut at the Moss Bay Events Center here in a couple weeks, I will compete with an absolute conviction to the sport, and an unwavering dedication toward entertaining my hometown fans. I’m not in this for fame or fortune or anything like that... I just want to make enough of an impact in that ring so that the entire world takes notice and realizes that the fine athletes we have here at the Dojo are paving the way to a new evolution of professional wrestling.
(As the image returns to the IWF logo, Terry Anderson is shaking his head.)
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Man, listen to the nerve of this guy!
Aaron Creed
What are you talking about?
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
“New evolution of professional wrestling?” I can’t believe the AUDACITY of this kid to say something like that! What is he... sixteen? Not even yet weaned off momma’s teats, and he’s already strutting around talking like he’s going to change this entire sport from the ground up!
Aaron Creed
Relax, Terry...
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
No, Aaron, I’m not going to stand for it! I put in many good years into this business... I had a lot of epic matches, and banged a lot of sleazy chicks afterwards... but whenever I was in that ring, shakin’ my THANG and bustin’ out CHICKEN-W’ANGS, never ONCE did I believe I was above this sport!
Above the goobers that come out to the shows, maybe... but DEFINITELY not above the sport!
You want to see the REAL evolution of professional wrestling, Aaron? Here, I’ll show you...
(Anderson reaches over and hits a different button on Creed’s console. The flatscreen begins showing b-roll footage of STEPHEN WALTZ working out in a training facility.)
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Forget about the punk Rocko trained... THIS MAN was trained by yours truly... “THE IDOL” himself! You’re looking at the TRUE evolution right there! The last man to carry the GXW Television Title... “THE FALLEN ANGEL” STEPHEN WALTZ!!
Aaron Creed
Stephen Waltz? He still WRESTLES?
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Never stopped, last I checked!
Aaron Creed
I thought he broke his hip in an automobile accident back in 2004, while he was signed to Empire Pro...
Terry “The Idol” Anderon
A tragic accident, but nevertheless, a thing of the past! After a HEROIC and COURAGEOUS recovery, my boy Steph-O is ready to get back between those ropes and start suplexin’ people on their heads!
Aaron Creed
And you think he’s the “new evolution” of this sport?
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Well maybe I wouldn’t go THAT far, but I bet you anything he’s better than that Kick-Yo-Mama or whatever the hell his name is! What’s your wager, Aaron?
Aaron Creed
Nothing, I --
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
COME ON, Aaron! Fifty bucks? Double or nothing?
Aaron Creed
I thought we talked about your gambling problem!
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Ah, you wet blanket... I can’t count on you for anything.
Aaron Creed
Anyway, should we expect “The Fallen Angel” Stephen Waltz to make his presumably highly-anticipated return at Chain Reaction?
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Not only will Stephen be there, but I have a good feeling he’ll personally be wanting to teach that Kerry Kucomonga a lesson in respect for the generations of wrestlers that came before him! Wrestlers like ME... “THE IDOL”!
Aaron Creed
So you’re saying right now that you want to see Kerry Kuroyama make his debut in the ring against your wrestling prodigy, “The Fallen Angel” Stephen Waltz, at Chain Reaction?
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
That’s EXACTLY what I’m saying, Aaron! I mean, the matches haven’t been set as of right now, but if Commissioner Art Mori was out there listening right now...
Aaron Creed
He is, Terry. In fact, he’s right there off-stage, looking at you...
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Oh, RIGHT... hey, Art, how’s it going?
Anyway, since you’re here listening right now, you should DEFINITELY book my boy Waltz in the ring with that Dojo punk! Give these fans a REAL beatdown to watch!
Aaron Creed
I’m sure he’ll keep it under consideration... but right now, Art is giving us the sign to cut it. Looks like we may be a bit over time.
Terry “The Idol” Anderson
WAIT A SEC... I didn’t get a chance to shill my new BOOK!
Aaron Creed
Looks like it will have to wait for next time, Terry. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen... don’t forget to join us at Chain Reaction, where we will see Kerry Kuroyama, Stephen Waltz, and many others in action! International Wrestling Federation is going to kick things off with a BANG, so don’t miss it!
For Terry “The Idol” Anderson, I’m Aaron Creed... and thank you for joining us here on THE FUSE! We’ll see you again at the Moss Bay Event Center for CHAIN REACTION!
(The outtro to “Mind the Drift” begins playing again as the studio lights come down and the camera tracks backwards. Soon after, we fade to black.)