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Cyberstrike 11 RP Feedback

TheOriginalSE

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
2,379
Points
36
Age
40
Location
San Francisco, CA
Website
newera.fwrestling.com
Every cycle I will give my feedback on the RPs that were posted. These will usually be 1-2 sentences on anything that particularly struck me .. whether it was something I liked, something that I felt just didn't click. It is meant to give you a little insight into my judging.

You can feel free to post your own feedback in this thread as well, but please be constructive.

Please note that I do not read any RPs until after the deadline is over and I read them all at the same time so I have a general idea of what might be given a 70, or a 65, or a 62 .. so on and so forth. I will not post the scores themselves, but each week I will announce what was the Roleplay of the Week.

1. Richard Dweck: It was a good way to introduce the further development of the character, although the sliding paragraphs were distracting. "I will beat the injustice out of him" was probably my favorite line of the week.

2. Suicide: RP#1 - Interesting beginning .. and I liked how you painted Cruise as someone who doesn't really take hold of his own future in New ERA.

3. Suicide: RP#2 - It ended stronger than it began. I liked how you talked about how Suicide had ended Sampson's career ... had sent Chaos "packing" ... and turned it into a warning against Cruise..

4. The First: RP#1 - Trying to lure Mr. Entertainment to the darkside! First's tirade against New ERA continues and it's always a great read.

5. The First: RP#2 - At the beginning I was a bit confused because it seemed like you were bashing Entertainment for one thing, then saying that when it came to First it was ok. But THEN you pulled it all together and it made perfect sense.

6. Adrian Willard: I liked your statement about how some things change but fate never does. It's a shame that Stone never roleplayed. I would have loved to seen more between the two of you. BTW, this isn't the FWrestling forums .. you don't have to fucking censor your curses in RPs. :p

7. Eugene King: I loved the interplay between King and his therapist. The entire conversation read as though it really could have happened. Sometimes I dislike RPs that go overly character development and not enough substance, but this RP had a good mix of both.

8. Husani Dakarai: RP#1 - I really enjoyed this RP. Like w/ King, it had a great mixture of character development AND relevant match-RP. You were docked a point for calling it New Era Wrestling - the "of" is important dammit! :p

9. Husani Dakarai: RP#2 - For some reason the CD part of the RP seemed to overwhelm the RP part of it. Not sure why, but when I was reading it it didn't click as well as the first one.

10. Eddie Patton: RP#1 - To be honest, it was boring. BUT... I liked the end. "But one night. One match. One moment. Lightning can strike anywhere," is a catch-phrase I can see blowing up.

11. Eddie Patton: RP#2 - This was infinitely better. It was interesting, enjoyable and scored incredibly close to Dakarai's higher scorer RP. If I had to pick a match that I would have considered the "hardest to judge" it would have been Patton/Dakarai based on this RP. The character went from somewhat boring in the first RP to really likable in this one. I have high hopes for the future!

12. Fanatic: A strong RP. I never realized that Fanatic was 14th and 16th Champion! Once again a great interplay between having Tact and Fanatic speak at different times. Tact building up Fanatic and then Fanatic stepping out and really laying claim.

13. Yossi Hayat: RP#1 - I really like how you played up the smarks. You could sense the intensity in the RP and how much Hayat really wanted the belt. Good job. The strongest RP from Hayat I've seen yet.

14. Yossi Hayat: RP#2 - I lol'ed hardcore when Hayat told Tact to shutup. Season 3 seems to be the "season of using wrestler to cure the monster inside." King, Dakarai and Hayat all made mentions about it. The only downside of the promo was the time spent on "real" wrestlers. A passing reference is fine, but in general I try to keep the two worlds separate.

15. Cameron Cruise: RP#1 - The RP ended a helluva lot stronger than it began. Like Suicide pointed out, the whole "I beat Michael Montgomery after you did .. therefore I can do what you do better!" argument was thin. But as it progressed it got stronger.

16. Cameron Cruise: RP#2 - This was a well-rounded roleplay. It hit on the points it needed to and didn't make any detours. Cruise was firing on all-cylinders and really ended the RP strong.

17. Mr. Entertainment: RP#1 - Entertainment's descent into madness begins! Thoroughly entertaining read. I especially liked the setup of the image on the wall w/ Fanatic's poorly-painted face with murderer under it.

18. Mr. Entertainment: RP#2 - LOL at hearing "everything New ERA tells" him. Another strong RP. Even though the First got the victory, Entertainment came incredibly close with this RP. Another tough call like the Patton/Dakarai match.


RP of the Week: "Worth the Battle" by Fanatic
 

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