DEFIANCE Television #40 is LIVE! [Now do some quick feedback]
- Thread starter Justin
- Start date
JeffOLW
League Member
Coronation
This segment was almost too perfect. And I didn't help with it, so I didn't really know what was being planned until more or less the last second. White trying to ruin everything and one up the noo champeen, and Eric Dane being himself and absolutely refusing to decline the last word, even if he has to run over his own champ to do it. SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
Rundown
Solid.
Mushigihara vs Jed Whitewood
OK, I know I had trouble with the Jeb/Jed thing, but I could've sworn I cleaned up every instance of "Jeb" that I made. Good match though, keeps Mushigihara looking like a beast and does a good job establishing Whitewood's character.
ahaha
Meet and Greet
This segment fell pretty flat for me. Noble's drunk, doesn't recognize a luchador, and thinks Diego is the janitor because of his name? And Diego.... um... I don't know. I never figured Diego for a derphead kind of character but he was full of derp here and I don't get it?
Coming to Terms
Frank Holiday does a great job of being a goofy fun-loving type babyface without being a goofball, and that's not always easy to do. The writing in this seg was ultra-solid, but right now, I think Pyre really needs to killface a couple people.
You Take Care
Nothing wrong with this seg, but it came across like one of those seg-to-have-a-seg type segs. Still, let me read the Elliott/Di Luca match before passing judgment.
Jason Natas vs Rich Mahogany
Pretty good. Natas looks like a badass and Rich still manages to not get squashed.
Something I'd like to see Rich do though is show a bit of that old school southern grappling he supposedly knows how to do. For example, remember back a while ago when I was running White Hot Anger and Justin/Evan/Aaron briefly decided making the ACX a legit team? And Rich (and Lisa Loeh) suprised the world by having an actual wrestling exchange? Just put a little emphasis on "Rich has some talent and just doesn't do anything with it most of the time."
Frustrations
Grammar got a little spotty here.
Team HOSS vs The World
I facilitated this.
Ain't No Saints
I liked this at first, but it started dragging on too long. Still. Intrigue. History. These are good things.
Wade Elliott vs Tony Two Hands
HEEL. SHENANIGANS.
Asking Respectfully
This show is laying down a nice assortment of things that could go various places and it's awesome seeing things get mixed up a little.
to be concluded
This segment was almost too perfect. And I didn't help with it, so I didn't really know what was being planned until more or less the last second. White trying to ruin everything and one up the noo champeen, and Eric Dane being himself and absolutely refusing to decline the last word, even if he has to run over his own champ to do it. SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
Rundown
Solid.
Mushigihara vs Jed Whitewood
OK, I know I had trouble with the Jeb/Jed thing, but I could've sworn I cleaned up every instance of "Jeb" that I made. Good match though, keeps Mushigihara looking like a beast and does a good job establishing Whitewood's character.
ahaha
Meet and Greet
This segment fell pretty flat for me. Noble's drunk, doesn't recognize a luchador, and thinks Diego is the janitor because of his name? And Diego.... um... I don't know. I never figured Diego for a derphead kind of character but he was full of derp here and I don't get it?
Coming to Terms
Frank Holiday does a great job of being a goofy fun-loving type babyface without being a goofball, and that's not always easy to do. The writing in this seg was ultra-solid, but right now, I think Pyre really needs to killface a couple people.
You Take Care
Nothing wrong with this seg, but it came across like one of those seg-to-have-a-seg type segs. Still, let me read the Elliott/Di Luca match before passing judgment.
Jason Natas vs Rich Mahogany
Pretty good. Natas looks like a badass and Rich still manages to not get squashed.
Something I'd like to see Rich do though is show a bit of that old school southern grappling he supposedly knows how to do. For example, remember back a while ago when I was running White Hot Anger and Justin/Evan/Aaron briefly decided making the ACX a legit team? And Rich (and Lisa Loeh) suprised the world by having an actual wrestling exchange? Just put a little emphasis on "Rich has some talent and just doesn't do anything with it most of the time."
Frustrations
Grammar got a little spotty here.
Team HOSS vs The World
I facilitated this.
Ain't No Saints
I liked this at first, but it started dragging on too long. Still. Intrigue. History. These are good things.
Wade Elliott vs Tony Two Hands
HEEL. SHENANIGANS.
Asking Respectfully
This show is laying down a nice assortment of things that could go various places and it's awesome seeing things get mixed up a little.
to be concluded
Last edited:
ATTN: Anyone who has finished the show, or made it past the FIST title match!
A small mistake was caught just a moment ago by myself at the end of the FIST match. Jeff is working to fix it right now and will post here when he gets it, but be wary that you'll need to refresh and reread the end of that for one of the later segments to make any sense at all.
This was a communication issue, and again, this is why I stress communication.
A small mistake was caught just a moment ago by myself at the end of the FIST match. Jeff is working to fix it right now and will post here when he gets it, but be wary that you'll need to refresh and reread the end of that for one of the later segments to make any sense at all.
This was a communication issue, and again, this is why I stress communication.
JeffOLW
League Member
It's fixed.
Holy shit the intro!!! Dane on the roster. STARDRIVER!!!! And a reminder of the star hatcheted into Mandrake’s chest. Can you ask for a better intro. Here’s the answer. NO YOU CAN NOT!
LOL: Angus:
Attempting to squeeze someone’s innards out of their belly button is the Mushi way of saying I love you.
And the God-Beast shows just how brutal and destructive he can be. Not too much more can be said about it really, I felt like it accomplished what it set out to, which was make Mushi look like the cruel, callus beast he is supposed to be.
An interesting introduction to Noble, curious to see more from him.
Sharknado 3 and a pinky-promise. I like the follow up and am curious to see where things go from there. So many options for how things could play out. The dynamic between Pyre and Holiday is quite interesting. Makes for pretty cool segment.
Nice little encounter between the BDH and the LBC, I like that this is just a small glimpse of an encounter, almost casual, like some of the other segments previously (all but the opening, that was no sizzling firework, that was a NUKE!)
The baby oil makes for some great moments in the match, Natas’ disgust shines through quite clearly, I like the contrast in the match, how a guy who is known for cheating finds himself being out dirty tricked in the match. There was some good flow and an interesting story told as the match unfolded. Good match over all.
Loving the group of folks I’m working with, looking forward to seeing everything play out.
Well Troy meeting up with Natas makes me wonder if there isn’t anyone she doesn’t know, lol. But seriously, its awesome to see the threads of all these character relationships come together in such a wide array of backstage segments. I’ve really been enjoying what I’ve seen of them all so far. Been feeling pretty inspired too, with all the reading of these segs and cards.
And this segment non-match is why I am coming to love wade Elliott, what a total bad ass move, gets hit by the car, hobbles to the ring anyway, and the drama of the countout just heightened the tension and made me want to cheer for Wade more. I think this was a good way to build the story, can’t wait to see Elliott get his hands on Di Luca, what happened here certainly makes one want to see Di Luca get what’s coming to him.
Gotta love Ty and his stories, and I love how he is really playing up his old man river role lately.
Some more tension building with Dusty and Dan, a glimpse into intensions and where things could potentially be going. Not really a good night to be the world champ.
Love angus!
Angus::
Who cares what these people want?! I want a show! Give me a show!
Angus::
Do not make me throw you against the ring post!
Angus::
In that case, don’t tap! Don’t tap! Don’t tap!
Angus::
It must be! He is an alcoholic! Someone drug test him for cocaine!
Great welcome to DEFIANCE for Noble, really good back and forth action, I liked the flow of the match and it made both of them look strong.
Good follow up from Romero, hope no one plans to cook with the peas lol
Hope I was able to do the match with Eugene justice J
Penn just doesn’t give it up. Glow stick huh…well, at least its better than Glo-worm and lit-brit lol
Ed white pushing his weight around, something tells me that we will see a lot more of this on upcoming shows. I am loving the way the trios division is shaping up, looking forward to being a part of it.
I thought the meeting between Frank, Dusty and Dane was a fitting follow up to the earlier incident, and the interruption being used to set up the Main event for the next show worked. The fact that sometimes folks are still shocked when they catch a Stardriver is amusing in some ways. I think by now everyone should know that no one is immune.
Team HOSS looked extremely strong as did H.O.W. great flow, some hard hitting action, really gave the Trios champs a chance to shine. I think this was a great kick off show to the new arc.
LOL: Angus:
Attempting to squeeze someone’s innards out of their belly button is the Mushi way of saying I love you.
And the God-Beast shows just how brutal and destructive he can be. Not too much more can be said about it really, I felt like it accomplished what it set out to, which was make Mushi look like the cruel, callus beast he is supposed to be.
An interesting introduction to Noble, curious to see more from him.
Sharknado 3 and a pinky-promise. I like the follow up and am curious to see where things go from there. So many options for how things could play out. The dynamic between Pyre and Holiday is quite interesting. Makes for pretty cool segment.
Nice little encounter between the BDH and the LBC, I like that this is just a small glimpse of an encounter, almost casual, like some of the other segments previously (all but the opening, that was no sizzling firework, that was a NUKE!)
The baby oil makes for some great moments in the match, Natas’ disgust shines through quite clearly, I like the contrast in the match, how a guy who is known for cheating finds himself being out dirty tricked in the match. There was some good flow and an interesting story told as the match unfolded. Good match over all.
Loving the group of folks I’m working with, looking forward to seeing everything play out.
Well Troy meeting up with Natas makes me wonder if there isn’t anyone she doesn’t know, lol. But seriously, its awesome to see the threads of all these character relationships come together in such a wide array of backstage segments. I’ve really been enjoying what I’ve seen of them all so far. Been feeling pretty inspired too, with all the reading of these segs and cards.
And this segment non-match is why I am coming to love wade Elliott, what a total bad ass move, gets hit by the car, hobbles to the ring anyway, and the drama of the countout just heightened the tension and made me want to cheer for Wade more. I think this was a good way to build the story, can’t wait to see Elliott get his hands on Di Luca, what happened here certainly makes one want to see Di Luca get what’s coming to him.
Gotta love Ty and his stories, and I love how he is really playing up his old man river role lately.
Some more tension building with Dusty and Dan, a glimpse into intensions and where things could potentially be going. Not really a good night to be the world champ.
Love angus!
Angus::
Who cares what these people want?! I want a show! Give me a show!
Angus::
Do not make me throw you against the ring post!
Angus::
In that case, don’t tap! Don’t tap! Don’t tap!
Angus::
It must be! He is an alcoholic! Someone drug test him for cocaine!
Great welcome to DEFIANCE for Noble, really good back and forth action, I liked the flow of the match and it made both of them look strong.
Good follow up from Romero, hope no one plans to cook with the peas lol
Hope I was able to do the match with Eugene justice J
Penn just doesn’t give it up. Glow stick huh…well, at least its better than Glo-worm and lit-brit lol
Ed white pushing his weight around, something tells me that we will see a lot more of this on upcoming shows. I am loving the way the trios division is shaping up, looking forward to being a part of it.
I thought the meeting between Frank, Dusty and Dane was a fitting follow up to the earlier incident, and the interruption being used to set up the Main event for the next show worked. The fact that sometimes folks are still shocked when they catch a Stardriver is amusing in some ways. I think by now everyone should know that no one is immune.
Team HOSS looked extremely strong as did H.O.W. great flow, some hard hitting action, really gave the Trios champs a chance to shine. I think this was a great kick off show to the new arc.
Bubba McCoy
League Member
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Great show here from the NEW arena.
I like how things played out with the use of the place. Also of people sold that very well.
The matches were pretty good, a lot of new faces for the fans "US" to get to know. Angus kept making me laugh though out the card.
Coronation
Good seg, Started going where i thought it would, ended in a place i was not expecting.
Rundown
Good opener for a fresh arc with some new players to the mix.
Mushigihara vs. Jed Whitewood
I thought the entrance and the Jeb thing was done on perpose by Jed. Had some of the funny lines of the night for me. Jed kept gettng up, much to Mushi's delight.
Meet and Greet
Good seg building up opn things.
Coming to Terms
I like Fank. I still think now he should have a Stuntman Mike style Jacket on. Would love to see Penn get into Holiday's grill . I like the usage of the Stage good job
You Take Care
Right to the basement parking garage. Nice segment here from the BDH and the LBC
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany
Great match, I hate seeing ACX on a hiatus cause they are a great team. I agree with Jeff though
Frustrations.
Poor Sam. He's one of my faves that just seemed to get lost in the shuffle. He has been there alot for FDJ and Dusty, Can't help but feel bad for the guy.
Team HOSS vs. DA WOHLD
OMG This was a great seg, and a great debut for Team VIAGRA, I am glad to have been part of this seg.
Ain't No Saints
Interesting seg. Though I don't come to the same conclusion as Natas I think Mama is talking about Noble interesting how this seg, bleeds into the following and foreshadows it with the whole I need a smoke part.
SoHer Title Wade Elliott vs. Tony Di Luca
LBC going gangster on Wade. Big mistake I believe.
Asking Respectfully
Interesting seg, is all I am going to say, Love Ty being Ty
Happy Championship Party Time
This is brewing to be a good feud here.
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble
Good match, and a good intro to a new face to DEFIANCE.
What's this $chemer Planning?
More TY! and again poor STJ
We Interrupt Something Much More Important to Bring You A Man With Frozen Peas On His Junk
WINNER FOR LONGEST SEG TITLE EVER GOES TO... This guy. Good follow up seg from the PPV.
FIST of DEFIANCE
Jake Donovan vs. Eugene Dewey
Good match that elevated Donovan in my eyes.
Sam Turner's New Dilemma
Make the right choice SAM!
DEFIANCE's Doctor of Dominance
I can feel Penn here. Reason I can not wait for Penn vs. Dewey. As much as I like to see Penn vs. Holiday.
Good Talk, We'll See You Out There
Great seg here,
Variables
Interesting here enough. Hope FDJ gets involved.
MATCH: Trios Tag Team Titles
Really Seth... Great Main Event.
JOLT vs DEFIANCE... Great way for a open challenge to work.
I like how things played out with the use of the place. Also of people sold that very well.
The matches were pretty good, a lot of new faces for the fans "US" to get to know. Angus kept making me laugh though out the card.
Coronation
Good seg, Started going where i thought it would, ended in a place i was not expecting.
Rundown
Good opener for a fresh arc with some new players to the mix.
Mushigihara vs. Jed Whitewood
I thought the entrance and the Jeb thing was done on perpose by Jed. Had some of the funny lines of the night for me. Jed kept gettng up, much to Mushi's delight.
Meet and Greet
Good seg building up opn things.
Coming to Terms
I like Fank. I still think now he should have a Stuntman Mike style Jacket on. Would love to see Penn get into Holiday's grill . I like the usage of the Stage good job
You Take Care
Right to the basement parking garage. Nice segment here from the BDH and the LBC
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany
Great match, I hate seeing ACX on a hiatus cause they are a great team. I agree with Jeff though
Frustrations.
Poor Sam. He's one of my faves that just seemed to get lost in the shuffle. He has been there alot for FDJ and Dusty, Can't help but feel bad for the guy.
Team HOSS vs. DA WOHLD
OMG This was a great seg, and a great debut for Team VIAGRA, I am glad to have been part of this seg.
Ain't No Saints
Interesting seg. Though I don't come to the same conclusion as Natas I think Mama is talking about Noble interesting how this seg, bleeds into the following and foreshadows it with the whole I need a smoke part.
SoHer Title Wade Elliott vs. Tony Di Luca
LBC going gangster on Wade. Big mistake I believe.
Asking Respectfully
Interesting seg, is all I am going to say, Love Ty being Ty
Happy Championship Party Time
This is brewing to be a good feud here.
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble
Good match, and a good intro to a new face to DEFIANCE.
What's this $chemer Planning?
More TY! and again poor STJ
We Interrupt Something Much More Important to Bring You A Man With Frozen Peas On His Junk
WINNER FOR LONGEST SEG TITLE EVER GOES TO... This guy. Good follow up seg from the PPV.
FIST of DEFIANCE
Jake Donovan vs. Eugene Dewey
Good match that elevated Donovan in my eyes.
Sam Turner's New Dilemma
Make the right choice SAM!
DEFIANCE's Doctor of Dominance
I can feel Penn here. Reason I can not wait for Penn vs. Dewey. As much as I like to see Penn vs. Holiday.
Good Talk, We'll See You Out There
Great seg here,
Variables
Interesting here enough. Hope FDJ gets involved.
MATCH: Trios Tag Team Titles
Really Seth... Great Main Event.
JOLT vs DEFIANCE... Great way for a open challenge to work.
QueenOfTheRing
AKA Mom
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
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- 2,625
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- 36
LT knows everyone and sees everything.
[whispers] Illuminati
[whispers again] Don't tell Frank Holiday...
Not sure how you came to that conclusion (or even at what part in the seg you started to think that) but to clear up any questions LT and Noble don't really have any history with each other outside of a common acquaintance. I know this is SHOCKING considering they were both in PRIME but 'tis true.
Also, yes I will feedback, maybe this weekend. I'm still holding my PPV Main Event feedback hostage from James because it's fun.
Evan H.
DEF Director of Fun & Good Humor
I had to much fun banging out the opener with James and Justin, good opportunity to let Dane just be Dane and remind everyone there's a difference between The BAWS and The Only Star. Yes he was booked really really strong and Godlike this show but a little of that is necessary right out of the box. I can't wait to see Justin really work Dane again, the shit going forward is going to be so good. Can't wait to see it all written out.
The rundown is always helpful, sort of a collect your thoughts moment after the orgy of promoness that just took place.
Opening match was good, good characterization from both guys but I like Mushigihara a lot.
Meet and Greet, planting little storyline seeds. Stuff like this builds and helps fill cracks in the show. I like.
Coming To Terms, I'm just a huge fucking mark for anything Ken does. Holiday is just a likable, fun, interesting character. Ken's been doing that for YEARS though. You old wrestling dork you.
You Take Care. I'm still "getting to know" the Big Damn Heroes but I REALLY like what I see. Coming back in blind after my little hiatus reading the PPV cold I was seeing all these groups and thought "Jesus that's a lot of characters" but damned if this group hasn't had consistent voices and purpose and goals, etc. Especially like Wade Elliott. I also like the LBC being positioned more equal to one another with Tony Two Hands getting a chance to stand out. I continue to like the SoHer title being embroiled in a stable feud. Smart simple booking goes a long long way sometimes.
I regret the ACX happened when so much shit was dumped on my IRL plate. If Justin and Pete and myself could have gotten on the same page I think we could have had a legit act on our hands, but meh. Rich is a good filler character for stuff like this. Solid NPC's people give a shit is what we do really well here in DEF. Rich could use a match along the way here that lets him "shine" a bit to keep him elevated some.
The big trios division schmoz was AWESOME. Introduced new blood, lots of old school promos which I goddamn love to see. All these kickass manager characters, ugh... such good shit. Exactly what the trios division needs to be... a big, fun, crazy mess. Obviously this is overlap from a couple arcs but still, so fun. Great use of new writers and character. Team HOSS is just to much fun, more on them in a sec though.
Aint No Saints. With every new talent I read I get the sense we truly did annex a whole block of talent here, lol. I love the slow introduction of old history though, also seeing the new guys sort of start in the middle and rise to the top. Quality seg, can't wait to read more.
Wade vs. Tony Two Hands. Everything I've read between these two shows from BDH and LBC has been top quality, this match was no different.
Asking Respectfully. I'm just going to say this now, James... never remove Ty from the DEF roster. He's become such a fucking institution. lol
It's starting to thunder and rain like a motherfucker so I'm going to go ahead and post this much and hit the second half later, turn the old PC off.
The rundown is always helpful, sort of a collect your thoughts moment after the orgy of promoness that just took place.
Opening match was good, good characterization from both guys but I like Mushigihara a lot.
Meet and Greet, planting little storyline seeds. Stuff like this builds and helps fill cracks in the show. I like.
Coming To Terms, I'm just a huge fucking mark for anything Ken does. Holiday is just a likable, fun, interesting character. Ken's been doing that for YEARS though. You old wrestling dork you.
You Take Care. I'm still "getting to know" the Big Damn Heroes but I REALLY like what I see. Coming back in blind after my little hiatus reading the PPV cold I was seeing all these groups and thought "Jesus that's a lot of characters" but damned if this group hasn't had consistent voices and purpose and goals, etc. Especially like Wade Elliott. I also like the LBC being positioned more equal to one another with Tony Two Hands getting a chance to stand out. I continue to like the SoHer title being embroiled in a stable feud. Smart simple booking goes a long long way sometimes.
I regret the ACX happened when so much shit was dumped on my IRL plate. If Justin and Pete and myself could have gotten on the same page I think we could have had a legit act on our hands, but meh. Rich is a good filler character for stuff like this. Solid NPC's people give a shit is what we do really well here in DEF. Rich could use a match along the way here that lets him "shine" a bit to keep him elevated some.
The big trios division schmoz was AWESOME. Introduced new blood, lots of old school promos which I goddamn love to see. All these kickass manager characters, ugh... such good shit. Exactly what the trios division needs to be... a big, fun, crazy mess. Obviously this is overlap from a couple arcs but still, so fun. Great use of new writers and character. Team HOSS is just to much fun, more on them in a sec though.
Aint No Saints. With every new talent I read I get the sense we truly did annex a whole block of talent here, lol. I love the slow introduction of old history though, also seeing the new guys sort of start in the middle and rise to the top. Quality seg, can't wait to read more.
Wade vs. Tony Two Hands. Everything I've read between these two shows from BDH and LBC has been top quality, this match was no different.
Asking Respectfully. I'm just going to say this now, James... never remove Ty from the DEF roster. He's become such a fucking institution. lol
It's starting to thunder and rain like a motherfucker so I'm going to go ahead and post this much and hit the second half later, turn the old PC off.
Evan H.
DEF Director of Fun & Good Humor
Dusty and Ryan was... well, a little catty? lol I liked it, obviously. I love kicked back manipulator Dan Ryan... but I do miss kick the door off the hinges eat babies crush my enemies Dan Ryan too. I always dig a good seething back and forth promo like this, its what ewrestling on cards segments were built on. But before these two really come to blows there needs to be more than insults and polity closed doors. Great segment though. It took me a while to warm up to Dusty just as a character, I'll be honest. But when you get it, when you let the "John Cena of it all" just wash over you he becomes a joy to read. Yay Brunk and James.
Pyre Noble was a boss match, kudos to whoever wrote that one. Noble comes off looking like an asskicker even in loss, Pyre adds some depth with the post match handshake. The whole midcard of DEFIANCE is top fucking notch.
It's been fun the last week or so getting to jump into docs and work with everybody. I hope I made a difference with how Ed and co. sound across the card. I'd love feedback good or bad, its been a few months since I've really written anything ewrestling related. Like, I was gone way before Bronson was gone lets put it that way.
Romero Antiguas is pretty awesome. I liked the match on the last card, and I like this. Good job dude.
Seriously. Fuck, man.
Eugene is DEFIANCE's ace. Donovan has come a long long way, but Eugene is being booked so so so strong. I know next to nothing about what Damien has penned for Eugene but I'm super excited to see it all play out. He's the perfect FIST of DEFIANCE. Just the young beast finding his confidence and building his legacy. Slow burn storytelling.
Curtis Penn is a fantastic impotent heel. He strikes that awesome desperate insecure chord a lot of the best heels in the business had. A heel has to be inherently someone you dislike, a cool heel eventually turns into a babyface. JR says it all the time, a heels gotta cheat. Add to that the fact the guy is a certified bad ass but STILL cheats? Well fuck that guy. Penn is one of my favorites. Just an all around great character.
OH SHIT WHAS SAM GUNNA DO YALL. WHY HE TRIPPIN.
Penn promo! Good job dude. Penn really does have an Owen Hart thing goin' on with his promos. Good shit.
Was fun working with Seth, its obvious why Team HOSS has risen up the card like it has. Great characters to work with. Seth and Ken both have done something that's usually kind of hard to do. Create good usable interesting NPC manager characters. Keeling and the three members of Team HOSS bounce off each other really well. Makes it easy to write dialogue.
I like the explanation for the Stardriver, I like the tension it causes and that tension immediately capitalized on with the handicap match booked. Like I said before in regards to Brunk and James. This is Justin and James is the most basic of ewrestling segments... wrestle A confronts wrestle B backstage. And because the characters are so sharp and the plan has been refined and refined everyone is pointed in the right direction and the story is slow and every segment means something. And the main event was dope as fuck, Team HOSS are absolutely without a doubt the glue holding what looks to be one kick ass trios division we've got going here together.
Two thumbs way up. Good to be back in the fold guys.
Pyre Noble was a boss match, kudos to whoever wrote that one. Noble comes off looking like an asskicker even in loss, Pyre adds some depth with the post match handshake. The whole midcard of DEFIANCE is top fucking notch.
It's been fun the last week or so getting to jump into docs and work with everybody. I hope I made a difference with how Ed and co. sound across the card. I'd love feedback good or bad, its been a few months since I've really written anything ewrestling related. Like, I was gone way before Bronson was gone lets put it that way.
Romero Antiguas is pretty awesome. I liked the match on the last card, and I like this. Good job dude.
Seriously. Fuck, man.
Eugene is DEFIANCE's ace. Donovan has come a long long way, but Eugene is being booked so so so strong. I know next to nothing about what Damien has penned for Eugene but I'm super excited to see it all play out. He's the perfect FIST of DEFIANCE. Just the young beast finding his confidence and building his legacy. Slow burn storytelling.
Curtis Penn is a fantastic impotent heel. He strikes that awesome desperate insecure chord a lot of the best heels in the business had. A heel has to be inherently someone you dislike, a cool heel eventually turns into a babyface. JR says it all the time, a heels gotta cheat. Add to that the fact the guy is a certified bad ass but STILL cheats? Well fuck that guy. Penn is one of my favorites. Just an all around great character.
OH SHIT WHAS SAM GUNNA DO YALL. WHY HE TRIPPIN.
Penn promo! Good job dude. Penn really does have an Owen Hart thing goin' on with his promos. Good shit.
Was fun working with Seth, its obvious why Team HOSS has risen up the card like it has. Great characters to work with. Seth and Ken both have done something that's usually kind of hard to do. Create good usable interesting NPC manager characters. Keeling and the three members of Team HOSS bounce off each other really well. Makes it easy to write dialogue.
I like the explanation for the Stardriver, I like the tension it causes and that tension immediately capitalized on with the handicap match booked. Like I said before in regards to Brunk and James. This is Justin and James is the most basic of ewrestling segments... wrestle A confronts wrestle B backstage. And because the characters are so sharp and the plan has been refined and refined everyone is pointed in the right direction and the story is slow and every segment means something. And the main event was dope as fuck, Team HOSS are absolutely without a doubt the glue holding what looks to be one kick ass trios division we've got going here together.
Two thumbs way up. Good to be back in the fold guys.
CraigM
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- Age
- 38
Coronation - I think everyone already hit it right on the head, but this was a killer opening segment that connected perfectly with the end of the last show. As I'm still trying to figure out all of the players here, this one was pretty clear. Eric Dane = GOOD!. Dusty Griffith = GOOD!. Edward White = BAD!. Well, that's what we thought until Dane showed that he would destroy Dusty in the middle of the ring. This was one of those opening segments that sets the tone of the next arc and it just goes to show that no one is safe, that everyone (for the most part) better look out for themselves because a war is coming.
Rundown - Show time! Let's do this!
Mushi vs. Jed Whitewood - If the point of this match was to show off that Mushi is a beast in the ring, then that definitely got the message across clearly. A big squash match that saw Mushi absolutely destroy Whitewood. Destroying someone to the point of a countout in the middle of the ring is not something you see everyday.
Meet and Greet - My first official writing in DEFIANCE. Nice start to hopefully something that builds and builds.
Coming to Terms - One of the feuds I've really sunk my teeth into since joining DEFIANCE has been Pyre/Holiday. I think these two characters have phenomenal chemistry together. This is such a great seg that furthers the feud between the two while adding a nice twist into the feud. Going to be interesting to see all of the muscles Pyre pulls while trying to turn a new leaf.
You Take Care - And next comes the other feud I've really been able to dig my teeth into. Love these three characters and the writing here is so sharp and crisp. After the match at Homecoming, the fact that we get a rematch right away is huge. Not going to make any predictions on the match coming up, but wouldn't be surprised to see Wade take the belt and take this Trios feud up to the next level.
Jason Natas vs Rich Mahogany - This is one of the funniest matches I think I've ever read. The baby oil thing made me laugh really hard and knowing the kind of character that Natas is, it made it only funnier due to the stark contrast. Another solid win here for Natas and he is starting his DEFIANCE career on the right foot. Solid written match. Makes you wonder what Natas is up to next.
Frustrations - Planting the seeds kind of seg here. Not sure what's going to happen next here, but I'm definitely intrigued as to what will happen with Sam Turner Jr. next.
Team Hoss vs. Da Wohld - Wow. I know everyone is (rightly) talking about how huge the opening seg is, but this seg was impressive alllllll around. I mean you are kicking off potentially a HUGE feud here with five different teams, all with their own identities, all of whom are going to intermingle, and screw it. This is going to be AWESOME! I loved this seg. I was hooked. I didn't want it to end. This is going to be a huge feud/angle in the upcoming weeks and probably months. And think? You don't even had BDH and LBC involved either. Sweet Mary, this has got me stoked.
Ain't No Saints - One thing after another and another great written seg (this seems to be par for the course, especially on this show). Natas/Troy is like PRIME coming back to life... again... in this show alone. Ah. Anyways, good stuff all around here. Troy can mix it up with anyone on this roster and it will be good. Natas is solidfying himself in this seg as someone who is going to be around. Love the backstory. Sad to admit it took me too long to figure who the other 'fuckhead' was.
Wade Elliott vs Tony Di Luca - I was really looking forward to this match. At first, at the end of the Natas/Troy segment, I thought it was Rayne who was down which would keep him and Troy away from ringside while LBC would have their way with Elliott. Turned out Elliott was the one hit by the car and he is a tough mofo because he just got up and wanted to fight. Unfortunately, a count out led to the match not happening though the writing was so good that I thought he would make it down there in time and start tearing Tony apart limb by limb! Great turn on everything and this just continues to amp up the feud between BDH and LBC.
Asking Respectfully - This seg could have been longer and I would have continued to enjoy it. A small snippet, but plays into the bigger Pyre/Holiday story. Another nice step forward in that feud and this is going to be fun watching Pyre try to turn a new leaf.
Happy Championship Party Time - And here is our main event feud for the upcoming arc, and it looks to be a good one! Dan Ryan is going to destroy some people on his way to the main event match. Dusty Griffith is going to prepare himself for a match against his idol(?) and the bad boss in the background is going to make life hell for him, I'm certain of it. Great writing, a great start, and I have a feeling this is going to be a defining feud for the Griffith era.
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble - I had a blast writing this and some more fun editing it with Brian and Ken. First match I've written in five years. Hope you guys enjoy it.
What's This $chemer Planning - The seeds of the boss (that sounds grosser than I intended) are being planted as he is showing he can and will do anything he can to manipulate the business. STJ looks to be the latest in that line and I have a feeling that things are going to get bad for Griffith very quickly.
Man with Frozen Peas on His Junk - Romero Antiguas. He will be back. And the women will be pleased. Looking forward to see what he does next after his 'unfortunate' accident.
Jake Donovan vs Eugene Dewey - This was a fun match through and through! Loved the commentary from Angus throughout it. Did not see the ending coming and really was looking forward to seeing who pulled it out between Donovan/Dewey. Hope we get another one, but now Penn is in the mix. And you've got Holiday out there as well.
Sam Turner's New Dilemna - Really intrigued to see how things go with Sam Turner. Another great seg all around. Moving some strings along. And Tyrone is everywhere. I mean... EVERYWHERE!
DEFIANCE'S Doctor of Dominance - This was badass all around. Well written. Full of piss and vinegar. And the perfect spot after his interference. Penn brought it. And I was damn impressed. Great, great, great writing.
Good Talk We'll See You Out There - I feel like I keep saying this, but another great seg between the BOSS and Team HOSS. So much stuff on here was so well written and this is another one. Intrigued to see who the other team is. But the stuff with the BOSS has been really golden tonight and gets you the sense that he is going to be very involved this arc with just about everything. Also, Tyrone may have put 1/3 of Team HOSS down in the ring, but the BOSS just did it here to them all and that might speak volumes.
Variables - I liked how Dane tried to get Dusty to see the light, I liked that Dusty didn't care about the light, and I like that this dynamic is all screwed up. I think at the end of the day though, Dane is going to have Dusty's back when the going gets tough, but the road there is going to be very interesting.
Team HOSS Open Challenge - Phenomenal closing match. Team HOSS wins and you have to wonder... who is going to stop them?
Overall, a very well written card that was top notch from top to bottom (not talking about my own stuff).
Rundown - Show time! Let's do this!
Mushi vs. Jed Whitewood - If the point of this match was to show off that Mushi is a beast in the ring, then that definitely got the message across clearly. A big squash match that saw Mushi absolutely destroy Whitewood. Destroying someone to the point of a countout in the middle of the ring is not something you see everyday.
Meet and Greet - My first official writing in DEFIANCE. Nice start to hopefully something that builds and builds.
Coming to Terms - One of the feuds I've really sunk my teeth into since joining DEFIANCE has been Pyre/Holiday. I think these two characters have phenomenal chemistry together. This is such a great seg that furthers the feud between the two while adding a nice twist into the feud. Going to be interesting to see all of the muscles Pyre pulls while trying to turn a new leaf.
You Take Care - And next comes the other feud I've really been able to dig my teeth into. Love these three characters and the writing here is so sharp and crisp. After the match at Homecoming, the fact that we get a rematch right away is huge. Not going to make any predictions on the match coming up, but wouldn't be surprised to see Wade take the belt and take this Trios feud up to the next level.
Jason Natas vs Rich Mahogany - This is one of the funniest matches I think I've ever read. The baby oil thing made me laugh really hard and knowing the kind of character that Natas is, it made it only funnier due to the stark contrast. Another solid win here for Natas and he is starting his DEFIANCE career on the right foot. Solid written match. Makes you wonder what Natas is up to next.
Frustrations - Planting the seeds kind of seg here. Not sure what's going to happen next here, but I'm definitely intrigued as to what will happen with Sam Turner Jr. next.
Team Hoss vs. Da Wohld - Wow. I know everyone is (rightly) talking about how huge the opening seg is, but this seg was impressive alllllll around. I mean you are kicking off potentially a HUGE feud here with five different teams, all with their own identities, all of whom are going to intermingle, and screw it. This is going to be AWESOME! I loved this seg. I was hooked. I didn't want it to end. This is going to be a huge feud/angle in the upcoming weeks and probably months. And think? You don't even had BDH and LBC involved either. Sweet Mary, this has got me stoked.
Ain't No Saints - One thing after another and another great written seg (this seems to be par for the course, especially on this show). Natas/Troy is like PRIME coming back to life... again... in this show alone. Ah. Anyways, good stuff all around here. Troy can mix it up with anyone on this roster and it will be good. Natas is solidfying himself in this seg as someone who is going to be around. Love the backstory. Sad to admit it took me too long to figure who the other 'fuckhead' was.
Wade Elliott vs Tony Di Luca - I was really looking forward to this match. At first, at the end of the Natas/Troy segment, I thought it was Rayne who was down which would keep him and Troy away from ringside while LBC would have their way with Elliott. Turned out Elliott was the one hit by the car and he is a tough mofo because he just got up and wanted to fight. Unfortunately, a count out led to the match not happening though the writing was so good that I thought he would make it down there in time and start tearing Tony apart limb by limb! Great turn on everything and this just continues to amp up the feud between BDH and LBC.
Asking Respectfully - This seg could have been longer and I would have continued to enjoy it. A small snippet, but plays into the bigger Pyre/Holiday story. Another nice step forward in that feud and this is going to be fun watching Pyre try to turn a new leaf.
Happy Championship Party Time - And here is our main event feud for the upcoming arc, and it looks to be a good one! Dan Ryan is going to destroy some people on his way to the main event match. Dusty Griffith is going to prepare himself for a match against his idol(?) and the bad boss in the background is going to make life hell for him, I'm certain of it. Great writing, a great start, and I have a feeling this is going to be a defining feud for the Griffith era.
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble - I had a blast writing this and some more fun editing it with Brian and Ken. First match I've written in five years. Hope you guys enjoy it.
What's This $chemer Planning - The seeds of the boss (that sounds grosser than I intended) are being planted as he is showing he can and will do anything he can to manipulate the business. STJ looks to be the latest in that line and I have a feeling that things are going to get bad for Griffith very quickly.
Man with Frozen Peas on His Junk - Romero Antiguas. He will be back. And the women will be pleased. Looking forward to see what he does next after his 'unfortunate' accident.
Jake Donovan vs Eugene Dewey - This was a fun match through and through! Loved the commentary from Angus throughout it. Did not see the ending coming and really was looking forward to seeing who pulled it out between Donovan/Dewey. Hope we get another one, but now Penn is in the mix. And you've got Holiday out there as well.
Sam Turner's New Dilemna - Really intrigued to see how things go with Sam Turner. Another great seg all around. Moving some strings along. And Tyrone is everywhere. I mean... EVERYWHERE!
DEFIANCE'S Doctor of Dominance - This was badass all around. Well written. Full of piss and vinegar. And the perfect spot after his interference. Penn brought it. And I was damn impressed. Great, great, great writing.
Good Talk We'll See You Out There - I feel like I keep saying this, but another great seg between the BOSS and Team HOSS. So much stuff on here was so well written and this is another one. Intrigued to see who the other team is. But the stuff with the BOSS has been really golden tonight and gets you the sense that he is going to be very involved this arc with just about everything. Also, Tyrone may have put 1/3 of Team HOSS down in the ring, but the BOSS just did it here to them all and that might speak volumes.
Variables - I liked how Dane tried to get Dusty to see the light, I liked that Dusty didn't care about the light, and I like that this dynamic is all screwed up. I think at the end of the day though, Dane is going to have Dusty's back when the going gets tough, but the road there is going to be very interesting.
Team HOSS Open Challenge - Phenomenal closing match. Team HOSS wins and you have to wonder... who is going to stop them?
Overall, a very well written card that was top notch from top to bottom (not talking about my own stuff).
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2005
- Messages
- 1,143
- Points
- 38
I had a lot of fun writing for this show and before I continue, I'd like to thank Jeff and Justin for going along with my stupid idea of letting my jOlt characters, the Heirs of Wrestling, come on over for a show. Glad people seemed to enjoy the main event.
As a note for whoever does the Title History section, this would actually be Team HOSS' third defense. They did a second defense against ACX on Grindhouse 15, I believe.
--Well, that opener could not have been any more explosive if they tried. A great read that as others have said, not only sets the tone for arc to come, but that the Dane/White war is only just getting started. The ONLY thing I would've changed here is at least giving Dusty a few words to tout how important the victory was and then have Edward White shit all over it as he did. But there's plenty of time to build this up and Dane/Dusty was built very well later in the night.
--Kudos to the writer for the Rundown as this is something more feds really need to do to set the tone for the show.
--Love to finally see some momentum starting to build for Mushigihara. The God-Beast is such a great nickname. Dante leading him around is pretty badass. The Jeb/Jed bit was pretty funny. Can't complain here, looking forward to seeing what Jake brings to the fold with this character. From the bio, I think it could totally have legs as a fun, cracked-out backwater Spike Dudley/Crash Holly kind of character.
--Noble/Diego could be an interesting clash of styles and seems to be what they're going for here. Great match later on with Noble. Craig busted his ass off as a matchwriter back in PRIME and it's good to see him working his magic here, too.
--Two for two with fucking hilarious Rich Mahogany singles matches. Good to see Natas get some wins going. Would anybody else love to see Natas and Mushi in a feud down the line just tearing shit up?
--The Sam Turner Jr. saga has my interest piqued. STJ seems like a good character in need of a kick in the ass and hopefully, Edward White's attempted wining and dining leads somewhere.
--Had a LOT of fun with the trios cluster segment and while it did run long, it never dipped in quality in my eyes which was a testament to the good work all of you guys did. Great debut for Team VIAGRA, liking the potential of The CDC, Skybreakers and Sons of the Soil. I also echo Evan's thoughts in that I think it's fucking fantastic so many managers (Kazama, Tsunami, Dante, Billy Pepper, that one Keeling homo) are running about as great characters in their own right (again, except Keeling.) There's some great feuds that can come out of this segment and make the Trios division something amazing.
--Can we stop blowing Frank Holiday for a second? No? Okay, then I won't either. I laughed my ass off at the Holiday segment and get this guy some gold yesterday. I am very happy to see that Holiday/Pyre is continuing as this feud has just done wonders for both characters. Pyre going to Walker was fun and hope that leads somewhere. Good win over a very game Noble and like Jeff, I want to see Pyre just kill a few bitches on his way to a rematch with Holiday.
--SONNY SILVER REFERENCE. Troy/Natas was a good read rehashing a wee bit of history between them. Good to see that Lindsay's sudden exit led to...
--...Wade Elliott; a badass. Tony Di Luca; a scumbag. In a great way. Now I'm waiting for the moment when the LBC gets what's coming to them and the BDH cave their skulls in. Hoping for a Holiday/Di Luca match for the SoHer Title soon also.
--Dusty/Ryan is going to be such a fucking slugfest when we finally get that match. Some great snark thrown by Ryan here, but loved Dusty Griffith showing he ain't taking any shit just because of what happened with Eric Dane earlier.
--Romero Antiguas. So much potential and win. Knowing what's coming down the pipeline for this character... muhuhuhuhahahahahahaha...
--YUS THE THING I WANTED TO HAPPEN IS THE THING THAT HAPPENED. Donovan/Dewey was fantastic work on the part of both handlers. Jake looks great even in loss while Dewey is chugging along as an awesome fighting champion. But... Penn/Dewey. I legit marked out for that... that feud has a lot of potential to be something great. The post-beatdown promo by Penn was just heel awesomeness.
--Evan, as far as feedback is concerned, I think with the HOSS/White segment, you killed it with the additions. I had some token dialogue with what I wrote, but White/Katz both came off a little more evil and entertaining. I think ours came off really well and had a lot of fun with that one. Taking some of Justin's feedback to heart from EFG, I wanted to do this segment to get HOSS really involved in the heart of their association with the Blood Diamonds.
--The tension of Dane/Griffith is really working for me. We've seen this type of angle done before in real wrestling with future opponents sharing tension before a big showdown, but with White throwing his weight around and Dane/Dusty not backing down, this will be better than any shit on Monday night. Now all we have to do is have them go over in a handicap match against... Oh, wait. Crap.
I really don't have anything bad to say about this show. Feuds either continued really well or solid foundations were built well for the future. Great job everybody.
As a note for whoever does the Title History section, this would actually be Team HOSS' third defense. They did a second defense against ACX on Grindhouse 15, I believe.
--Well, that opener could not have been any more explosive if they tried. A great read that as others have said, not only sets the tone for arc to come, but that the Dane/White war is only just getting started. The ONLY thing I would've changed here is at least giving Dusty a few words to tout how important the victory was and then have Edward White shit all over it as he did. But there's plenty of time to build this up and Dane/Dusty was built very well later in the night.
--Kudos to the writer for the Rundown as this is something more feds really need to do to set the tone for the show.
--Love to finally see some momentum starting to build for Mushigihara. The God-Beast is such a great nickname. Dante leading him around is pretty badass. The Jeb/Jed bit was pretty funny. Can't complain here, looking forward to seeing what Jake brings to the fold with this character. From the bio, I think it could totally have legs as a fun, cracked-out backwater Spike Dudley/Crash Holly kind of character.
--Noble/Diego could be an interesting clash of styles and seems to be what they're going for here. Great match later on with Noble. Craig busted his ass off as a matchwriter back in PRIME and it's good to see him working his magic here, too.
--Two for two with fucking hilarious Rich Mahogany singles matches. Good to see Natas get some wins going. Would anybody else love to see Natas and Mushi in a feud down the line just tearing shit up?
--The Sam Turner Jr. saga has my interest piqued. STJ seems like a good character in need of a kick in the ass and hopefully, Edward White's attempted wining and dining leads somewhere.
--Had a LOT of fun with the trios cluster segment and while it did run long, it never dipped in quality in my eyes which was a testament to the good work all of you guys did. Great debut for Team VIAGRA, liking the potential of The CDC, Skybreakers and Sons of the Soil. I also echo Evan's thoughts in that I think it's fucking fantastic so many managers (Kazama, Tsunami, Dante, Billy Pepper, that one Keeling homo) are running about as great characters in their own right (again, except Keeling.) There's some great feuds that can come out of this segment and make the Trios division something amazing.
--Can we stop blowing Frank Holiday for a second? No? Okay, then I won't either. I laughed my ass off at the Holiday segment and get this guy some gold yesterday. I am very happy to see that Holiday/Pyre is continuing as this feud has just done wonders for both characters. Pyre going to Walker was fun and hope that leads somewhere. Good win over a very game Noble and like Jeff, I want to see Pyre just kill a few bitches on his way to a rematch with Holiday.
--SONNY SILVER REFERENCE. Troy/Natas was a good read rehashing a wee bit of history between them. Good to see that Lindsay's sudden exit led to...
--...Wade Elliott; a badass. Tony Di Luca; a scumbag. In a great way. Now I'm waiting for the moment when the LBC gets what's coming to them and the BDH cave their skulls in. Hoping for a Holiday/Di Luca match for the SoHer Title soon also.
--Dusty/Ryan is going to be such a fucking slugfest when we finally get that match. Some great snark thrown by Ryan here, but loved Dusty Griffith showing he ain't taking any shit just because of what happened with Eric Dane earlier.
--Romero Antiguas. So much potential and win. Knowing what's coming down the pipeline for this character... muhuhuhuhahahahahahaha...
--YUS THE THING I WANTED TO HAPPEN IS THE THING THAT HAPPENED. Donovan/Dewey was fantastic work on the part of both handlers. Jake looks great even in loss while Dewey is chugging along as an awesome fighting champion. But... Penn/Dewey. I legit marked out for that... that feud has a lot of potential to be something great. The post-beatdown promo by Penn was just heel awesomeness.
--Evan, as far as feedback is concerned, I think with the HOSS/White segment, you killed it with the additions. I had some token dialogue with what I wrote, but White/Katz both came off a little more evil and entertaining. I think ours came off really well and had a lot of fun with that one. Taking some of Justin's feedback to heart from EFG, I wanted to do this segment to get HOSS really involved in the heart of their association with the Blood Diamonds.
--The tension of Dane/Griffith is really working for me. We've seen this type of angle done before in real wrestling with future opponents sharing tension before a big showdown, but with White throwing his weight around and Dane/Dusty not backing down, this will be better than any shit on Monday night. Now all we have to do is have them go over in a handicap match against... Oh, wait. Crap.
I really don't have anything bad to say about this show. Feuds either continued really well or solid foundations were built well for the future. Great job everybody.
SenorJames
DEFIANT Grandpa
CORONATION
Justin, Evan and I wrote this.
SHOW OPENER
I wrote this.
MUSHIGIHARA v JED WHITEWOOD
Mississippi Roadkill, so many lulz. Dag, new guy doesn’t get a televised entrance and gets his ass whooped the whole way. Angus’ commentary is what made this more than just a simple squash match. Good work.
MEET AND GREET
Eeeh… It’s a start.
COMING TO TERMS
Ken is a friggin’ boss at this and Brian is great at playing the straight man in these sort scenarios with his characters. Sharknado 3 and pinky swears, hah.
YOU TAKE CARE
I dunno this seemed kind of awkward to me, it might have been the setting. When I think of the old school promo stage, there’s usually a mic holder (Warner or Zane) that is there to set it up so the performers can knock it down. Nothing wrong with the content, just couldn’t get past the location being used randomly (imo).
JASON NATAS v RICH MAHOGANY
Really nifty match here with Rich playing an old school heel jobber, getting enough chances to “get his shit in” as it were, setting up Natas to play the babyface and build to a finish. Good work.
FRUSTRATIONS
Chris did a good job on this and was willing to take criticism and accept edits to what he and Blue put together here. I think it turned out how it needed to, which is a good thing.
TEAM HOSS VERSUS THE WORLD
Jeff did a good job of corralling the goddamn cats to get this done. I had fun doing up my couple of bits for this and glad to see the Trios Division developing some honest to goodness depth.
AIN’T NO SAINTS
Backstory! Intrigue! PRIMEates! Rabble rabble rabble… This and the match above, I’m getting into Jason Natas, he could be a grimier Dusty Griffith (imo).
SOHER -- WADE ELLIOT v TONY DI LUCA
SWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE~!.
ASKING RESPECTFULLY
Brian and I wrote this. It was fun.
HAPPY CHAMPIONSHIP PARTY TIME
Brunk wrote this, then tinkered with it here and there. Really good stuff, just more of Dusty and Ryan intersecting and seeing what happens… Before something really happens. STAY TUNED!
STOCKTON PYRE v DAVID NOBLE
Randomthoughtopiniontypedealio -- Stalker Town Fire oughta be billed from THE BLOGOSPHERE! Just saying… Angus was kinda off kilter on commentary here, not bad, just felt slightly off center from where he should be… Dug the action, perfect mid-card match that gets more time than is expected and the two dudes pull out a real good match on television. It’s the sort of thing that gives everyone some shine… The thing with Angus is, he wouldn’t care about “alcoholics” or “druggies”, I think the issue with the commentary here is that Angus just wouldn’t care about the new guy one way or the other until he did something that either amuses or annoys him… Good match, a PPV caliber match, good stuff overall, just get a feel for Angus over time and you’ll be good to go.
WHATS THIS SCHEMER PLANNING?
More work between myself, Chris, Blue, Rob and special guest returning champion, Evan! YAY!
ROMERO ANTIGUAS IS SELLING HIS BAWLS!
Romero with the smoove update on the status of his bawls, hah.
FIST OF DEFIANCE -- JAKE DONOVAN v EUGENE DEWEY
Really dig that Euge went for the Shoryuken early in the match and almost getting it too… Lots of near falls, exciting back and forth, and a really interesting way to go into the finish with the Shoryuken… Jake looks good in defeat, like he’s almost there, just not quite yet and this is where his relationship with Ty should pay off in-character over the long term… Euge continues to roll on strong, being in lock step with Dusty as the top 1 and 1a guys… CURTIS PENN RUN IN! BOOM! NEW PROGRAM! This gun’ b guud!
SAM TURNERS NEW DILEMMA
Again, more collaborative work between myself, Chris, Rob and Blue.
DEFIANCES DOCTOR OF DOMINANCE
WHOO CURTIS PENN TALKING SHIT TIME! *reads very intently for the goodness* … Dag, Penn laying it down with authority and puttin’ some stank on it… Penn might be the best pro wrestling promo in DEFIANCE outside of Justin doing Eric Dane monologues.
GOOD TALK WE’LL SEE YOU OUT THERE
A great big circle jerk going on here, hah… annnnnnnnd then Ed with the big ol’ record scratch by asking why Angel done did jobbed to Ty like a dirty dog… Ed getting real serious and Alecz being a sleaze, wanting to get it in with Jane like Captain Kirk, hah.
VARIABLES
Justin and I doing our thing for the funz and lulz because we can.
TRIOS - TEAM HOSS v HEIRS OF WRESTLING
Seth just continuing to be a BAWS with the matchwriting… The Heirs putting Team HOSS in peril early is the smart booking play, gotta make the outsiders look SOOOOOOOOOPER strong right out of the gate… Team HOSS assumes control and heel smashes it up, this is building to a nice end run… Really like how you had Keebs playing it straight and impartial, while Angus is amused by the Heirs, but unwilling to accept them since they’re outsiders who could take the trios titles more than that they’re fighting Team HOSS… Big babyface in peril comeback, looking for the hot tag, really liking the pacing and old school logic of the match… Really good trios match, nobody looks bad, both teams get some shine... I know this was a special case since the Heirs are also Seth’s characters, but this is the kind of thing I would love to see happen more in the future. Some working cooperation between other angle based groups like jOlt and NBW, I’d gladly trade favors with my characters to help facilitate it.
Justin, Evan and I wrote this.
SHOW OPENER
I wrote this.
MUSHIGIHARA v JED WHITEWOOD
Mississippi Roadkill, so many lulz. Dag, new guy doesn’t get a televised entrance and gets his ass whooped the whole way. Angus’ commentary is what made this more than just a simple squash match. Good work.
MEET AND GREET
Eeeh… It’s a start.
COMING TO TERMS
Ken is a friggin’ boss at this and Brian is great at playing the straight man in these sort scenarios with his characters. Sharknado 3 and pinky swears, hah.
YOU TAKE CARE
I dunno this seemed kind of awkward to me, it might have been the setting. When I think of the old school promo stage, there’s usually a mic holder (Warner or Zane) that is there to set it up so the performers can knock it down. Nothing wrong with the content, just couldn’t get past the location being used randomly (imo).
JASON NATAS v RICH MAHOGANY
Really nifty match here with Rich playing an old school heel jobber, getting enough chances to “get his shit in” as it were, setting up Natas to play the babyface and build to a finish. Good work.
FRUSTRATIONS
Chris did a good job on this and was willing to take criticism and accept edits to what he and Blue put together here. I think it turned out how it needed to, which is a good thing.
TEAM HOSS VERSUS THE WORLD
Jeff did a good job of corralling the goddamn cats to get this done. I had fun doing up my couple of bits for this and glad to see the Trios Division developing some honest to goodness depth.
AIN’T NO SAINTS
Backstory! Intrigue! PRIMEates! Rabble rabble rabble… This and the match above, I’m getting into Jason Natas, he could be a grimier Dusty Griffith (imo).
SOHER -- WADE ELLIOT v TONY DI LUCA
SWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE~!.
ASKING RESPECTFULLY
Brian and I wrote this. It was fun.
HAPPY CHAMPIONSHIP PARTY TIME
Brunk wrote this, then tinkered with it here and there. Really good stuff, just more of Dusty and Ryan intersecting and seeing what happens… Before something really happens. STAY TUNED!
STOCKTON PYRE v DAVID NOBLE
Randomthoughtopiniontypedealio -- Stalker Town Fire oughta be billed from THE BLOGOSPHERE! Just saying… Angus was kinda off kilter on commentary here, not bad, just felt slightly off center from where he should be… Dug the action, perfect mid-card match that gets more time than is expected and the two dudes pull out a real good match on television. It’s the sort of thing that gives everyone some shine… The thing with Angus is, he wouldn’t care about “alcoholics” or “druggies”, I think the issue with the commentary here is that Angus just wouldn’t care about the new guy one way or the other until he did something that either amuses or annoys him… Good match, a PPV caliber match, good stuff overall, just get a feel for Angus over time and you’ll be good to go.
WHATS THIS SCHEMER PLANNING?
More work between myself, Chris, Blue, Rob and special guest returning champion, Evan! YAY!
ROMERO ANTIGUAS IS SELLING HIS BAWLS!
Romero with the smoove update on the status of his bawls, hah.
FIST OF DEFIANCE -- JAKE DONOVAN v EUGENE DEWEY
Really dig that Euge went for the Shoryuken early in the match and almost getting it too… Lots of near falls, exciting back and forth, and a really interesting way to go into the finish with the Shoryuken… Jake looks good in defeat, like he’s almost there, just not quite yet and this is where his relationship with Ty should pay off in-character over the long term… Euge continues to roll on strong, being in lock step with Dusty as the top 1 and 1a guys… CURTIS PENN RUN IN! BOOM! NEW PROGRAM! This gun’ b guud!
SAM TURNERS NEW DILEMMA
Again, more collaborative work between myself, Chris, Rob and Blue.
DEFIANCES DOCTOR OF DOMINANCE
WHOO CURTIS PENN TALKING SHIT TIME! *reads very intently for the goodness* … Dag, Penn laying it down with authority and puttin’ some stank on it… Penn might be the best pro wrestling promo in DEFIANCE outside of Justin doing Eric Dane monologues.
GOOD TALK WE’LL SEE YOU OUT THERE
A great big circle jerk going on here, hah… annnnnnnnd then Ed with the big ol’ record scratch by asking why Angel done did jobbed to Ty like a dirty dog… Ed getting real serious and Alecz being a sleaze, wanting to get it in with Jane like Captain Kirk, hah.
VARIABLES
Justin and I doing our thing for the funz and lulz because we can.
TRIOS - TEAM HOSS v HEIRS OF WRESTLING
Seth just continuing to be a BAWS with the matchwriting… The Heirs putting Team HOSS in peril early is the smart booking play, gotta make the outsiders look SOOOOOOOOOPER strong right out of the gate… Team HOSS assumes control and heel smashes it up, this is building to a nice end run… Really like how you had Keebs playing it straight and impartial, while Angus is amused by the Heirs, but unwilling to accept them since they’re outsiders who could take the trios titles more than that they’re fighting Team HOSS… Big babyface in peril comeback, looking for the hot tag, really liking the pacing and old school logic of the match… Really good trios match, nobody looks bad, both teams get some shine... I know this was a special case since the Heirs are also Seth’s characters, but this is the kind of thing I would love to see happen more in the future. Some working cooperation between other angle based groups like jOlt and NBW, I’d gladly trade favors with my characters to help facilitate it.
Jonathan Todd
New member
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- Apr 15, 2012
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- 249
- Points
- 0
Coronation
This is one of the best opening segments that I’ve ever read on a card…evar! It reminds me of old WCW openings with the N W O and W C W. Amazing.
Rundown
Good ol fashion rundown of the card, very useful to those who do not know what is going on… mainly me. And the Defiance Wrestle-Plex mention was neat-o-rific.
Mushigihara vs. Jed Whitewood
Easily the greatest moniker of all time “The Mississippi Squirrel”
Meet and Greet
There is one thing in the world that I CANNOT stand and that is… Dropping a bottle of Jack and breaking it. Party Foul by David Noble, now he needs to be reprimanded!
Coming to Terms
One day Penn will meet up with Holiday and the world will explode from this.
You Take Care
Just something didn’t sit right with me at the end of the promo. I knew something was going to happen to one of the BDH just by the way Di Luca said you take care sent chills down my spine.
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany
I’ve taken a liking to Jason Natas and his development (from the promos and history lessons) has circled to the white hat society. I would have like to have him back when he was a heel, sounds like a guy some could have looked up too.
Frustrations..
Sam has a chip on his shoulder, do I see another coming over to the darkside!
Team HOSS vs. DA WOHLD
Team Hoss is EVILx 3. MAI BOI TAI DEESERVES ANOTHER SHOT WITH ANY COMBINATION OF ANYONE EVER! Truly this is the best run I’ve ever seen with Ty, I’ve read some of the stuff in the NeWA and the WfWA , but it’s just seems that James is having more fun now, than he has ever.
And to see more trios teams coming into DEF is always a plus.
Ain't No Saints
My favorite part of this segment and the entire show is the knowledge that Mike Sloan can walk AGAIN after Heidi ripped his knee off back in the Masters of Wrestling tournament. Oh and he has a job with Defiance.
SoHer Title Wade Elliott vs. Tony Di Luca
With all of these hiring’s in Defiance I just want to know who the hell hired RIKISHI to drive them around! We all know from the 90’s that he cannot drive and this is second hit n run he’s been involved in.
Very jealous about the angle…just saying.
Then he tries to make it to the ring… total badassary on his part.
Asking Respectfully
Stockton Pyre sits down with Ty and wants to learn about some of the TD stuff and how to handle being a professional wrestler. It’s who I’d go to as well, but not without hookers and blow!
Happy Championship Party Time.
When Ryan and Giffith finally tie up, the world will quake!
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble
It’s hard not to mimic the rest of the feedback, but both guys looked good in the loss and getting the W
What's this $chemer Planning?
Ed White invites STJ into a room and gives him a cigar…something is fishy!
We Interrupt Something Much More Important to Bring You A Man With Frozen Peas On His Junk
The man with mash potatoes as balls says he’s going to be back in a few weeks… I bet his voice is a weee bit higher .
Jake Donovan vs. Eugene Dewey
I praise Blue every time she writes a match, not because I’m a suck up or anything, but because I truly love how she writes matches. She spends hours researching moves and the counters for the maneuvers.
One minor detail left out as Justin mentioned above, but it’s all fixed and it gelled great.
Sam Turner's New Dilemma
SAM CHOOSE THE DARK SIDE, YOU”LL LIKE IT A LOT MORE!
DEFIANCE's Doctor of Dominance
I dided this, with help from our man Damien! I do appreciate all of the positive comments towards the character.
Good Talk, We'll See You Out There
ED WHITE laying the law down on his hirelings! That’s how you play bo$$ mutha facko!
Variables
Dane doing what he does best… he’s teaching the kids how to play the game! Dusty is all bull with no brain, Dane is just trying to teach the kid how to use it!
This is one of the best opening segments that I’ve ever read on a card…evar! It reminds me of old WCW openings with the N W O and W C W. Amazing.
Rundown
Good ol fashion rundown of the card, very useful to those who do not know what is going on… mainly me. And the Defiance Wrestle-Plex mention was neat-o-rific.
Mushigihara vs. Jed Whitewood
Easily the greatest moniker of all time “The Mississippi Squirrel”
Meet and Greet
There is one thing in the world that I CANNOT stand and that is… Dropping a bottle of Jack and breaking it. Party Foul by David Noble, now he needs to be reprimanded!
Coming to Terms
One day Penn will meet up with Holiday and the world will explode from this.
You Take Care
Just something didn’t sit right with me at the end of the promo. I knew something was going to happen to one of the BDH just by the way Di Luca said you take care sent chills down my spine.
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany
I’ve taken a liking to Jason Natas and his development (from the promos and history lessons) has circled to the white hat society. I would have like to have him back when he was a heel, sounds like a guy some could have looked up too.
Frustrations..
Sam has a chip on his shoulder, do I see another coming over to the darkside!
Team HOSS vs. DA WOHLD
Team Hoss is EVILx 3. MAI BOI TAI DEESERVES ANOTHER SHOT WITH ANY COMBINATION OF ANYONE EVER! Truly this is the best run I’ve ever seen with Ty, I’ve read some of the stuff in the NeWA and the WfWA , but it’s just seems that James is having more fun now, than he has ever.
And to see more trios teams coming into DEF is always a plus.
Ain't No Saints
My favorite part of this segment and the entire show is the knowledge that Mike Sloan can walk AGAIN after Heidi ripped his knee off back in the Masters of Wrestling tournament. Oh and he has a job with Defiance.
SoHer Title Wade Elliott vs. Tony Di Luca
With all of these hiring’s in Defiance I just want to know who the hell hired RIKISHI to drive them around! We all know from the 90’s that he cannot drive and this is second hit n run he’s been involved in.
Very jealous about the angle…just saying.
Then he tries to make it to the ring… total badassary on his part.
Asking Respectfully
Stockton Pyre sits down with Ty and wants to learn about some of the TD stuff and how to handle being a professional wrestler. It’s who I’d go to as well, but not without hookers and blow!
Happy Championship Party Time.
When Ryan and Giffith finally tie up, the world will quake!
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble
It’s hard not to mimic the rest of the feedback, but both guys looked good in the loss and getting the W
What's this $chemer Planning?
Ed White invites STJ into a room and gives him a cigar…something is fishy!
We Interrupt Something Much More Important to Bring You A Man With Frozen Peas On His Junk
The man with mash potatoes as balls says he’s going to be back in a few weeks… I bet his voice is a weee bit higher .
Jake Donovan vs. Eugene Dewey
I praise Blue every time she writes a match, not because I’m a suck up or anything, but because I truly love how she writes matches. She spends hours researching moves and the counters for the maneuvers.
One minor detail left out as Justin mentioned above, but it’s all fixed and it gelled great.
Sam Turner's New Dilemma
SAM CHOOSE THE DARK SIDE, YOU”LL LIKE IT A LOT MORE!
DEFIANCE's Doctor of Dominance
I dided this, with help from our man Damien! I do appreciate all of the positive comments towards the character.
Good Talk, We'll See You Out There
ED WHITE laying the law down on his hirelings! That’s how you play bo$$ mutha facko!
Variables
Dane doing what he does best… he’s teaching the kids how to play the game! Dusty is all bull with no brain, Dane is just trying to teach the kid how to use it!
QueenOfTheRing
AKA Mom
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
- Messages
- 2,625
- Points
- 36
This was the BDH/LBC seg, which transitioned from the interview stage to the underground parking area.
PositivelyKen
League Member
I gave it a lot of thought, and in the end I really don't have any detailed feedback on the show this time around. Everything was awesome from top to bottom. It felt like a perfect post-PPV show that built on the previous arc and laid the groundwork for what's to come. Everybody is doing terrific work. It's just thrilling to see things progressing so well.
The God-Beast
Member
Feedback-a-tron ENGAGE~!
WHAT WAS AWESOME:
~Jake's match. It captured the essence of what I'm trying to do with Mushigihara, and pushes along the angle I'm doing with him now. Jake told me he was worried about how we'd react to the dry, sarcastic take he did on commentary, but frankly I think it's a perfect fit.
~Eric Dane flicking the "fuck ya'll" switch, although I will admit it took me a few rereads to really come around on it.
~Donovan/Dewey. Great match.
~DAT TRIOS SEG. This division is going to be a highlight, for sure.
~The main event, just an amazing match overall. I hope this opens the doors to cooperation with other feds; while my opinions on interfeds is no big secret, I love the idea of individual promotions working together and maybe even doing a supercard down the line. This match got me to start reading Jolt.
NITPICKS:
~Why I had to re-read the Dane stuff to come around on it; Eric Dane always seemed like the guy who would spill blood for his stars, and for him to suddenly be all "fuck ya'll" to his roster was, well, offputting. If it came down to Team White vs. Team Dane, would there even _BE_ a Team Dane?
~The main event; if having another promotion's team come in, sight unseen, to challenge the World Trios Champions was meant to open the gates of cooperation between the other feds on this site, awesome. Otherwise, though, it seems like the equivalent to an indy promotion signing someone who is/was in a major fed to do a one-time thing. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it didn't sit right with me.
WHAT WAS AWESOME:
~Jake's match. It captured the essence of what I'm trying to do with Mushigihara, and pushes along the angle I'm doing with him now. Jake told me he was worried about how we'd react to the dry, sarcastic take he did on commentary, but frankly I think it's a perfect fit.
~Eric Dane flicking the "fuck ya'll" switch, although I will admit it took me a few rereads to really come around on it.
~Donovan/Dewey. Great match.
~DAT TRIOS SEG. This division is going to be a highlight, for sure.
~The main event, just an amazing match overall. I hope this opens the doors to cooperation with other feds; while my opinions on interfeds is no big secret, I love the idea of individual promotions working together and maybe even doing a supercard down the line. This match got me to start reading Jolt.
NITPICKS:
~Why I had to re-read the Dane stuff to come around on it; Eric Dane always seemed like the guy who would spill blood for his stars, and for him to suddenly be all "fuck ya'll" to his roster was, well, offputting. If it came down to Team White vs. Team Dane, would there even _BE_ a Team Dane?
~The main event; if having another promotion's team come in, sight unseen, to challenge the World Trios Champions was meant to open the gates of cooperation between the other feds on this site, awesome. Otherwise, though, it seems like the equivalent to an indy promotion signing someone who is/was in a major fed to do a one-time thing. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it didn't sit right with me.
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Goddammit, what the fuck is a placeholder?
Just post when you post.
Just post when you post.
Chris King
League Member
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2012
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- 440
- Points
- 0
This is all I've read so far:
Coronation:
This was good. Everyone involved seemed to mesh well. Dane becomes a roster member and hitting the Stardriver on Dusty was a shock. Ed White throwing his weight around showing he’s the real boss of DEFIANCE was fun
Is Kelly Evans out of a job again or will she return as another ring rat to another wrestler?
I smell TEAM DANGER!
The way Dan Ryan looked at Dusty makes me kind of want to see a Griffith vs. Ryan vs. Dane vs. Scott match, for the ULTRAGOD of DEFIANCE! Unless Bronson Box ever comes back.
The Rundown:
It alright, it was informative for any first time reader.
Mushigihara vs, Jed Whitewood:
Not a bad squash. Mushi demolishes Whitewood with ease and doesn’t use that many different moves to do it.
Meet and Greet!:
I love DDL’s whit. Poor David Noble, he lost his bottle. I hope he pissed for the athletic association before he drank too much, in some states that are licensed it’s a one month to six month layoff. Noble seems kind of gruff and like a lone wolf maybe a guy that marches to the beat of his own drum.
Coming to Terms:
Cool little seg. Frank while being funny shows he’s more of a multitasker than ever now. I’m not sure if he really cares about the SoHer title or if he’d rather be a movie star.
You Take Care:
Nice build up for the Wade/TDL match.
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany:
Not a bad match. Rich is one of my favorite characters Justin’s come up with mainly because of his Joey Ryan-ish style of oiling himself up. Natas was a beast until the foot-met-nuts move, and then recovered to overly destroy Rich’s face. I liked Natas throwing his towel at Rich demanding his oil/lube change.
Frustrations:
I did this with help and comments from a few peoples. If you liked it, you liked it. If you hated it, I guess you hated the other two segs too.
Team HOSS vs. DA WOHLD:
There was a lot going on here, and I mean a lot. Plus the long awaited debut of Team VIAGRA. There were a few words missing from various parts but nothing you couldn’t fill in while reading.
The fact that you have Team HOSS, the Skybreakers, the Crimson Dragon Clan, Team VIAGRA, and the Sons of the Soil in one ring means it’s very well put together.
I kinda feel bad for Tony Davis as his Nintendo 3DS gets stomped and broke by the barefoot redneck Jarvis Remus.
Not a bad seg overall, but for me in all honesty it was too long. I got bored before the SotS make their way in and attack the Skybreakers.
Ain’t No Saints:
A well written seg that was informative and leading us in the past lives of Troy/Natas from PRIME. I like how “the Dark Horse” comes and rushes Troy off. I can’t help but wonder what’s going on with Troy/Natas, one night stand, friends with benefits, hatred scorned rivals? Enquiring minds want to know.
Wade Elliot vs. Tony Di Luca:
A nice swerve there, no match takes place but a lot is going on in the back after Elliott was sideswiped.
Could we see a Holiday vs. Elliott vs. Di Luca?
[I'll finish soon.]
Coronation:
This was good. Everyone involved seemed to mesh well. Dane becomes a roster member and hitting the Stardriver on Dusty was a shock. Ed White throwing his weight around showing he’s the real boss of DEFIANCE was fun
Is Kelly Evans out of a job again or will she return as another ring rat to another wrestler?
I smell TEAM DANGER!
The way Dan Ryan looked at Dusty makes me kind of want to see a Griffith vs. Ryan vs. Dane vs. Scott match, for the ULTRAGOD of DEFIANCE! Unless Bronson Box ever comes back.
The Rundown:
It alright, it was informative for any first time reader.
Mushigihara vs, Jed Whitewood:
Not a bad squash. Mushi demolishes Whitewood with ease and doesn’t use that many different moves to do it.
Meet and Greet!:
I love DDL’s whit. Poor David Noble, he lost his bottle. I hope he pissed for the athletic association before he drank too much, in some states that are licensed it’s a one month to six month layoff. Noble seems kind of gruff and like a lone wolf maybe a guy that marches to the beat of his own drum.
Coming to Terms:
Cool little seg. Frank while being funny shows he’s more of a multitasker than ever now. I’m not sure if he really cares about the SoHer title or if he’d rather be a movie star.
You Take Care:
Nice build up for the Wade/TDL match.
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany:
Not a bad match. Rich is one of my favorite characters Justin’s come up with mainly because of his Joey Ryan-ish style of oiling himself up. Natas was a beast until the foot-met-nuts move, and then recovered to overly destroy Rich’s face. I liked Natas throwing his towel at Rich demanding his oil/lube change.
Frustrations:
I did this with help and comments from a few peoples. If you liked it, you liked it. If you hated it, I guess you hated the other two segs too.
Team HOSS vs. DA WOHLD:
There was a lot going on here, and I mean a lot. Plus the long awaited debut of Team VIAGRA. There were a few words missing from various parts but nothing you couldn’t fill in while reading.
The fact that you have Team HOSS, the Skybreakers, the Crimson Dragon Clan, Team VIAGRA, and the Sons of the Soil in one ring means it’s very well put together.
I kinda feel bad for Tony Davis as his Nintendo 3DS gets stomped and broke by the barefoot redneck Jarvis Remus.
Not a bad seg overall, but for me in all honesty it was too long. I got bored before the SotS make their way in and attack the Skybreakers.
Ain’t No Saints:
A well written seg that was informative and leading us in the past lives of Troy/Natas from PRIME. I like how “the Dark Horse” comes and rushes Troy off. I can’t help but wonder what’s going on with Troy/Natas, one night stand, friends with benefits, hatred scorned rivals? Enquiring minds want to know.
Wade Elliot vs. Tony Di Luca:
A nice swerve there, no match takes place but a lot is going on in the back after Elliott was sideswiped.
Could we see a Holiday vs. Elliott vs. Di Luca?
[I'll finish soon.]
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fartknocker
League Member
- The coronation was a great way to start the show, and a nice turn of the corner to have Eric Dane involved again. From a fan perspective, I am not a fan of the Dane character after this seg, because I'm a Jonny Booya and a Dusty Griffith mark so far. From a handler perspective, though, great fire in the back-and-forth between he and White and I'm looking forward to what's next.
- Mushi/Whitewood was the first match I've written in a while. Fun fact: the Jeb/Jed thing was actually something I thought about because I'd actually forgotten what I'd named the character like two weeks after I submitted the app and had to go back and check. Because I am a dolt. Appreciate the compliments on the commentary. For me it's difficult to not mold the color after my own style, so I tried to keep it as Angus-sy as I could.
- I haven't been exposed to David Noble before, only Craig's other character Dusk. So, I read the seg, read his bio, and then re-read the seg. Good introduction and I think I will be a fan of Noble. I have pinpointed the source of his depression already, though: hailing from Buffalo.
- Frank Holiday rules. I don't appreciate the cheap shot at Shakespearian talent Ian "Steve from 90210" Ziering, though. Good to see that Stockton and Frank are LEGITIMATELY squashing the beef -- if that's not the case, then the time-tested treaty of the pinky swear will have been wrongly violated FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
- BDH/LBC seg was pointed and quick. Which means something's probably going to happen later…
- Solid contest between Mahogany/Natas, and I am going to like any match Rich is in because of his horse's assedness. Bummer that his momentum is now put to a grinding halt by Natas, but good for Jason to look like the beast he is.
- Damn, what a clusterfuck of trios teams! In the best way possible, though. A lot of explosion in that bit, but it was very easy to follow and generates a shit ton of interest in the division currently. Also: TEAM VIAGRA~!
- And a perfect follow up to the previous BDH/LBC segment. This is the hottest angle for me thus far in DFEFIANCE. Some cold shit but does make Wade Elliott look more like an undeniable bad ass.
- I like where the Pyre thing may be going, but the placement of this one with Walker was a little off for me. Not that big of a deal, though, as I know it was just a set up for a bigger payoff down the line, but just my .02.
- Awesome back and forth between the champ and Dan Ryan. Just a classic "fuck you, son, I am coming for you" exchange that was highly enjoyable.
- Laugh line in the Pyre/Noble match:
Also, nice continuous sell of the foot in this. Love continuity detail.
- Again, good lead from earlier into a more telling seg, this time with STJ and White. I am running out of positive adjectives here for what I'm reading. "Spectacular."
- Romero Antiguas is a god damned prince. This is already my favorite Sean character ever.
- Another laugh line in Donovan/Dewey:
- HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @
- I am normally not a huge fan of giving someone a racist tinge in the format of e-wrestling but shit, it worked here to build a little tension.
- As commonly stated, Curtis Penn is such a shitheel. I love it. There is always room for a type like this on a roster as long as a roster's not riddled with them, and Penn plays it amongst the best I've read.
- Dane now kind of turned for me as a result of the last seg. But it'll still be an interesting dynamic for the next card as they go up against…
- HOSS over the Heirs. That was a bad ass read and I think there's no better way to show your champs are the real deal than to have some outsiders come and take a huge loss.
Legit card all the way through, everyone. The foot is still on the gas even after the PPV which is damn promising.
- Mushi/Whitewood was the first match I've written in a while. Fun fact: the Jeb/Jed thing was actually something I thought about because I'd actually forgotten what I'd named the character like two weeks after I submitted the app and had to go back and check. Because I am a dolt. Appreciate the compliments on the commentary. For me it's difficult to not mold the color after my own style, so I tried to keep it as Angus-sy as I could.
- I haven't been exposed to David Noble before, only Craig's other character Dusk. So, I read the seg, read his bio, and then re-read the seg. Good introduction and I think I will be a fan of Noble. I have pinpointed the source of his depression already, though: hailing from Buffalo.
- Frank Holiday rules. I don't appreciate the cheap shot at Shakespearian talent Ian "Steve from 90210" Ziering, though. Good to see that Stockton and Frank are LEGITIMATELY squashing the beef -- if that's not the case, then the time-tested treaty of the pinky swear will have been wrongly violated FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
- BDH/LBC seg was pointed and quick. Which means something's probably going to happen later…
- Solid contest between Mahogany/Natas, and I am going to like any match Rich is in because of his horse's assedness. Bummer that his momentum is now put to a grinding halt by Natas, but good for Jason to look like the beast he is.
- Damn, what a clusterfuck of trios teams! In the best way possible, though. A lot of explosion in that bit, but it was very easy to follow and generates a shit ton of interest in the division currently. Also: TEAM VIAGRA~!
- And a perfect follow up to the previous BDH/LBC segment. This is the hottest angle for me thus far in DFEFIANCE. Some cold shit but does make Wade Elliott look more like an undeniable bad ass.
- I like where the Pyre thing may be going, but the placement of this one with Walker was a little off for me. Not that big of a deal, though, as I know it was just a set up for a bigger payoff down the line, but just my .02.
- Awesome back and forth between the champ and Dan Ryan. Just a classic "fuck you, son, I am coming for you" exchange that was highly enjoyable.
- Laugh line in the Pyre/Noble match:
Also, nice continuous sell of the foot in this. Love continuity detail.
- Again, good lead from earlier into a more telling seg, this time with STJ and White. I am running out of positive adjectives here for what I'm reading. "Spectacular."
- Romero Antiguas is a god damned prince. This is already my favorite Sean character ever.
- Another laugh line in Donovan/Dewey:
- HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @
- I am normally not a huge fan of giving someone a racist tinge in the format of e-wrestling but shit, it worked here to build a little tension.
- As commonly stated, Curtis Penn is such a shitheel. I love it. There is always room for a type like this on a roster as long as a roster's not riddled with them, and Penn plays it amongst the best I've read.
- Dane now kind of turned for me as a result of the last seg. But it'll still be an interesting dynamic for the next card as they go up against…
- HOSS over the Heirs. That was a bad ass read and I think there's no better way to show your champs are the real deal than to have some outsiders come and take a huge loss.
Legit card all the way through, everyone. The foot is still on the gas even after the PPV which is damn promising.
Damien
Member
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2012
- Messages
- 515
- Points
- 16
Because I don’t miss feedback.
Coronation
The angled nature of DEF now has definitely helped make this moment more monumental than it would have been in an RP fed. Nothing against Lee, there’s a reason Kai Scott held that title for just shy of one whole year, but that reign could have easily been upended on one off week for the champion, or one incredibly hot week for a challenger.
The fact that the layout of the arena is already being used, like mentioning the skybox, is awesome, but I wouldn’t expect any less. People can and should take note of this. I know I will be.
Bahgawd that was an intense segment. Every part of it had me hooked. Excellent work guys. While Troy Matthews and Jake Donovan might not appreciate one line in particular, I thought it was perfect. Dane had to establish himself as an immediate force if he’s going to be put into the active roster, and there’s really nowhere else for him to work but at the top of it.
The Rundown
There was such a ‘holy shit’ moment in the previous segment that it’s a bit strange Angus and Keebs aren’t talking about that and nothing else. I get that it might have been kept a secret, but surely they’d be freaking out about it before going on to the next item, which is the new arena?
I’m more OK with the segue to the opening match this week, what with the main event not being for the world title, but I still stand by my point from the last feedback session.
Mushigihara vs. Jed Whitewood
Can’t but echo James’ comments here. Angus’ commentary made this more than it actually was. I don’t hold out high hopes for Whitewood after reading this though, so I don’t know if he’s one and done or something, because that’s along the lines how I’d expect to see someone who joined, booked a match then quit to get treated.
But then if that’s by design, I don’t hold out high hopes for him either… But, as Chris Benoit would say, prove me wrong.
Meet & Greet
Not a fan.
Too much talk about bottles in the opening descriptions. Also, we as viewers would know exactly who the ‘Masked Man’ is as soon as he enters the frame. There shouldn’t be any mystery over who it is to us, so why would he be introduced as ‘Masked Man’ when speaking?
The only time I personally would use ‘???’ or ‘Voice’ is if someone was off screen speaking, but if Diego wasn’t on camera at that point then how would we know he was masked?
Also, what does Noble have, 3 hands? He’s got a bottle in one, a contract in the other, and he still picks up a pen and signed the contract, which is still in one of his hands?
Jeff’s right as well, Diego wasn’t right in this.
Coming to Terms
Seriously? A pinkie promise? In DEFIANCE? Who’d have thought that would work?
I’m a big fan of both of these guys, but I’m more and more sure that Pyre needs to start moving on. I’m not thrilled about the ‘new leaf’ stuff, as I’d rather see his character develop rather than change.
Still, the seg writting was top notch as we should expect.
You Take Care
I wonder what could be coming…
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany
Solid match that was a squash but wasn’t. I’m gonna do a lot of echoing tonight, but Jeff’s right. Rich needs to show off some of his SFW skills at some point.
Frustrations:
Too much of a cold open on this one.
I’m an STJ fan, but this seg didn’t light me up. Yes, it’s great that Sam is showing some character development, and making a start on a storyline, but not knowing where it’s going, I’d rather have seen him frustrated over something a little more than not being on a PPV.
Team HOSS vs. Da Wohld
Speaking as a guy from the UK, the moments when Aleczander reminds everyone that he’s English are just fantastic.
Holy crap that was a segment and a half. Lots of cooks, but the broth was surprisingly unspoiled. Yes there’s depth in the division now, but I maintain that the gulf between Team HOSS and everyone else makes it hard to imagine who could legitimately challenge them from all of the teams in this segment.
Ain’t No Saints
We got a good insight into the Natas character here, and I really enjoyed it. Maybe I misjudged the character from his first showing. Definitely interested in more.
What’s really jarring though, and I’m sure it’s going to be more of a thing with a lot of the new guys, is the references to PRIME are getting very frequent. Personally I’d say hold off on them and not slip them into every conversation, and that’s purely because I have no idea what happened in PRIME for any time that wasn’t about a 2 month period in 2006.
Wade Elliott vs. Tony Di Luca:
I’d been waiting to write this match/segment since we booked it about 3 months ago, and I’m really pleased with how it came out. I’m glad you all thing Wade looks like a total badass from it, because that’s exactly what we wanted to happen.
Asking Respectfully
Right. This. This mothafuckas. This right here is not what I had in mind when I talked about Pyre earlier. I take it all back. Keep on down this exact path.
Also, Ty & Pyre…
Tyre?
TEAM GOODYEAR IN THE HIZOUSE!
Happy Championship Party Time
The back and forth here was really fun. It’s like the encounter in the stairwell all those weeks ago. It’s like some shit should go down but the fact that it doesn’t is fantastic. Whenever shit does go down between these two it’s gon’ be gud.
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble
Good match that still gets Noble over even with a loss. Well written, especially for someone that hasn’t written a match in years.
One thing I will say though, and this is common with new guys, Angus was well off the mark for a lot of it. It’ll start coming more naturally over time, but it’s definitely something to work on.
What’s This $chemer Planning?
Perfect. Perfect length, perfect dialogue, perfect cut off point. Damnit, it’s too perfect. I want more and it’s annoying I haven’t got more.
We Interrupt Something Much More Important to Bring You A Man With Frozen Peas On His Junk
I was wondering when Romero would show up.
The title was almost as long as the seg. But that’s not bad. There really wasn’t much to say here, and it didn’t need to be stretched out. I do hope Romero isn’t gone for too long.
Jake Donovan vs. Eugene Dewey
BIG props to Blue for picking this one up when I simply couldn’t do it. Very happy with how it turned out. Also thanks to Justin for catching the missing stuff at the end.Communication people. And yes, I include myself in there.
Sam Turner’s New Dilema
Some of the dialogue (mainly Nicky’s) felt off in this, and part of me wishes Sam’s storyline for the night had been left where it ended with the previous Sam segment.
DEFIANCE’s Doctor Of Dominance
Jon and I both had a hand in this one, and Penn is absolutely fantastic to both read and write. Penn/Dewey is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, and what we’ve got planned is so exciting to me. Hopefully it will be for all of you as well.
Good Talk, We’ll See You Out There
I’m happy to see Edward White getting BO$$ on HOSS here. Reminds everyone that he’s not surrounded with yes men, but more that he’s surrounded by people that can get the job done, and if they can’t get it done then they’re out.
Variables
The Dusty/Dane stuff on this show has been fantastic. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.
Team Hoss Open Challenge
I’m unfamiliar with the Heirs of Wrestling, but they’re clearly a big deal, and as such this was a big win for HOSS. It’s nice to see some cross over, but I do believe HOSS are gonna have to repay the favor down the road.
Hopefully that time comes after their dominance has been stopped in DEFIANCE.
Coronation
The angled nature of DEF now has definitely helped make this moment more monumental than it would have been in an RP fed. Nothing against Lee, there’s a reason Kai Scott held that title for just shy of one whole year, but that reign could have easily been upended on one off week for the champion, or one incredibly hot week for a challenger.
The fact that the layout of the arena is already being used, like mentioning the skybox, is awesome, but I wouldn’t expect any less. People can and should take note of this. I know I will be.
Bahgawd that was an intense segment. Every part of it had me hooked. Excellent work guys. While Troy Matthews and Jake Donovan might not appreciate one line in particular, I thought it was perfect. Dane had to establish himself as an immediate force if he’s going to be put into the active roster, and there’s really nowhere else for him to work but at the top of it.
The Rundown
There was such a ‘holy shit’ moment in the previous segment that it’s a bit strange Angus and Keebs aren’t talking about that and nothing else. I get that it might have been kept a secret, but surely they’d be freaking out about it before going on to the next item, which is the new arena?
I’m more OK with the segue to the opening match this week, what with the main event not being for the world title, but I still stand by my point from the last feedback session.
Mushigihara vs. Jed Whitewood
Can’t but echo James’ comments here. Angus’ commentary made this more than it actually was. I don’t hold out high hopes for Whitewood after reading this though, so I don’t know if he’s one and done or something, because that’s along the lines how I’d expect to see someone who joined, booked a match then quit to get treated.
But then if that’s by design, I don’t hold out high hopes for him either… But, as Chris Benoit would say, prove me wrong.
Meet & Greet
Not a fan.
Too much talk about bottles in the opening descriptions. Also, we as viewers would know exactly who the ‘Masked Man’ is as soon as he enters the frame. There shouldn’t be any mystery over who it is to us, so why would he be introduced as ‘Masked Man’ when speaking?
The only time I personally would use ‘???’ or ‘Voice’ is if someone was off screen speaking, but if Diego wasn’t on camera at that point then how would we know he was masked?
Also, what does Noble have, 3 hands? He’s got a bottle in one, a contract in the other, and he still picks up a pen and signed the contract, which is still in one of his hands?
Jeff’s right as well, Diego wasn’t right in this.
Coming to Terms
Seriously? A pinkie promise? In DEFIANCE? Who’d have thought that would work?
I’m a big fan of both of these guys, but I’m more and more sure that Pyre needs to start moving on. I’m not thrilled about the ‘new leaf’ stuff, as I’d rather see his character develop rather than change.
Still, the seg writting was top notch as we should expect.
You Take Care
I wonder what could be coming…
Jason Natas vs. Rich Mahogany
Solid match that was a squash but wasn’t. I’m gonna do a lot of echoing tonight, but Jeff’s right. Rich needs to show off some of his SFW skills at some point.
Frustrations:
Too much of a cold open on this one.
I’m an STJ fan, but this seg didn’t light me up. Yes, it’s great that Sam is showing some character development, and making a start on a storyline, but not knowing where it’s going, I’d rather have seen him frustrated over something a little more than not being on a PPV.
Team HOSS vs. Da Wohld
Speaking as a guy from the UK, the moments when Aleczander reminds everyone that he’s English are just fantastic.
Holy crap that was a segment and a half. Lots of cooks, but the broth was surprisingly unspoiled. Yes there’s depth in the division now, but I maintain that the gulf between Team HOSS and everyone else makes it hard to imagine who could legitimately challenge them from all of the teams in this segment.
Ain’t No Saints
We got a good insight into the Natas character here, and I really enjoyed it. Maybe I misjudged the character from his first showing. Definitely interested in more.
What’s really jarring though, and I’m sure it’s going to be more of a thing with a lot of the new guys, is the references to PRIME are getting very frequent. Personally I’d say hold off on them and not slip them into every conversation, and that’s purely because I have no idea what happened in PRIME for any time that wasn’t about a 2 month period in 2006.
Wade Elliott vs. Tony Di Luca:
I’d been waiting to write this match/segment since we booked it about 3 months ago, and I’m really pleased with how it came out. I’m glad you all thing Wade looks like a total badass from it, because that’s exactly what we wanted to happen.
Asking Respectfully
Right. This. This mothafuckas. This right here is not what I had in mind when I talked about Pyre earlier. I take it all back. Keep on down this exact path.
Also, Ty & Pyre…
Tyre?
TEAM GOODYEAR IN THE HIZOUSE!
Happy Championship Party Time
The back and forth here was really fun. It’s like the encounter in the stairwell all those weeks ago. It’s like some shit should go down but the fact that it doesn’t is fantastic. Whenever shit does go down between these two it’s gon’ be gud.
Stockton Pyre vs. David Noble
Good match that still gets Noble over even with a loss. Well written, especially for someone that hasn’t written a match in years.
One thing I will say though, and this is common with new guys, Angus was well off the mark for a lot of it. It’ll start coming more naturally over time, but it’s definitely something to work on.
What’s This $chemer Planning?
Perfect. Perfect length, perfect dialogue, perfect cut off point. Damnit, it’s too perfect. I want more and it’s annoying I haven’t got more.
We Interrupt Something Much More Important to Bring You A Man With Frozen Peas On His Junk
I was wondering when Romero would show up.
The title was almost as long as the seg. But that’s not bad. There really wasn’t much to say here, and it didn’t need to be stretched out. I do hope Romero isn’t gone for too long.
Jake Donovan vs. Eugene Dewey
BIG props to Blue for picking this one up when I simply couldn’t do it. Very happy with how it turned out. Also thanks to Justin for catching the missing stuff at the end.Communication people. And yes, I include myself in there.
Sam Turner’s New Dilema
Some of the dialogue (mainly Nicky’s) felt off in this, and part of me wishes Sam’s storyline for the night had been left where it ended with the previous Sam segment.
DEFIANCE’s Doctor Of Dominance
Jon and I both had a hand in this one, and Penn is absolutely fantastic to both read and write. Penn/Dewey is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, and what we’ve got planned is so exciting to me. Hopefully it will be for all of you as well.
Good Talk, We’ll See You Out There
I’m happy to see Edward White getting BO$$ on HOSS here. Reminds everyone that he’s not surrounded with yes men, but more that he’s surrounded by people that can get the job done, and if they can’t get it done then they’re out.
Variables
The Dusty/Dane stuff on this show has been fantastic. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.
Team Hoss Open Challenge
I’m unfamiliar with the Heirs of Wrestling, but they’re clearly a big deal, and as such this was a big win for HOSS. It’s nice to see some cross over, but I do believe HOSS are gonna have to repay the favor down the road.
Hopefully that time comes after their dominance has been stopped in DEFIANCE.