suddenimpact
Angry Johnny
(FADEIN...
TC's pub. It's a normal Monday night, which means quiet. Rosie is off, so she's sitting next to me. We both have short glasses of pink stuff in front of us.
X-Rated. Passion fruit flavored vodka. I was dared to cut a promo while drinking pink alcohol, and what the heck do I care?
My NFW Television Title belt is also in the shot. I don't like to bring it out in public because I'm not much of a show-off, but I think it's important this time to show my credentials for what I'm about to say.
Because, I've been living on the edge, but this could push me off the cliff.)
"A year and a half ago, Craig Miles and Eddie Mayfield declared that the Wrestling Revolucion had begun, and that their goal was to strip New Frontier Wrestling of the time traveling, dystopian dildonite, drug - addled haze that surrounded the top half of Wrestlebowl 2, in favor of a cleaner, smoother, more streamlined wrestling product."
"In other words, they were taking everything that made fans tune in every week and getting rid of it, to see if they could still draw a crowd. Interesting plan, I must say, but if you actually look at Wrestlebowl 2... really look at it, you'll see that there was plenty of wrestling there. Dan Ryan and Eli Flair, Nova and Yori, before they went into Mike Randalls' locker room, Felix and Kin... and Craig and Eddie themselves put on a clinic of wrestling, brawling, and garbage that I think currently reigns as the standard for at least one of those categories."
Ironic, no?
"So what happened? What made Craig Miles and Eddie Mayfield discard the dish that brought 'em to the dance? I think it was a combination of a few things: the rise of Joe the Plumber, the war between Legion and Varga, and the saga of Rook Black and the Uber Judge. The continued escalation and enhancement of the outrageous made it necessary to continue to escalate and enhance the outrageous, to the point where the NFW's CGI department--"
("I thought they just had an intern," said Rose.)
Intern. Whatever.
"--to the point where they'd reached the limits of what they could put on the screen. Which was fine by me; I've never been a special effects kind of guy."
You all know that. You've seen me wrestle. Even my detractors, who claim I'm boring and naive and all that other stuff - you're really showing your ass if you dare suggest I don't know how to wrestle.
"No, my problems began when I dared suggest that the NFW World Champion be given the courtesy of the NFW World Championship belt, a belt that President Mayfield continues to withhold and defend with his very life, because he had the audacity to be the first legitimate NFW homegrown talent in years, but be a plumber. Joe has wrestled exclusively for New Frontier Wrestling for his entire career; he represents this company more completely than anyone has since Shane Southern and Michael Manson wrestled to determine the Season One Ultratitle championship."
But he doesn't fit the mold. President Mayfield, when has anything in New Frontier Wrestling fit the mold?
"I'm a wrestler. I'm a darn good one, and I don't get caught up in the hysterics that President Mayfield has decided are against his administration. So it was probably a mistake on my part to start calling him by his first name--"
("Dennis?" asked Rose.)
You're gonna get me in trouble again.
"--because now, I'm in his sights. But, if Crash is any indication, his problems have just started."
"Weren't you supposed to eliminate the insanity from New Frontier Wrestling, Eddie? How's that been working out for you? Has your crusade made things any better?"
Let's take a look. A trio of questionable wrestlers and their manager, as well as the entire cast of a cheesy sitcom were torched. New wrestlers named Captain Conga and Unicorn Mask debuted. Nothing against either man, I thought they both did fantastic for their debuts, but their entire personality is against what Eddie claims to want for this company.
"Not just that, but Eddie barely escaped with his life as Joe continues to hunt him down for his title belt, and the main event turned into a cluster with virtually everyone that was in the arena running in to add their names to Brock and Cameron's story."
"Is this your idea of control, Eddie? By forbidding the controlled chaos that New Frontier Wrestling thrived on, you've invited more of the same, only completely out of your control."
Where does this leave me?
"This is still my home, Eddie, and I'll defend it until you fire me, because I don't intend to ever leave. And I'll defend this belt--"
--as I gestured to my Television Title belt--
"--as often as I can get booked until someone either pins me fairly for it, or makes me tap out. And then I'll defend that person as the rightful Television Champion."
"Regardless of your feelings about the World Champion, Joe the Plumber brings people to the arena. Rook Black and myself both wrestle as hard as we can with completely different approaches to what it means to be a champion, and we thrive on it. Your Tag Team Championships have fueled one of the most exciting feuds this millennium."
"Is this self - serving war of yours really worth losing what we've all built?"
FADE
TC's pub. It's a normal Monday night, which means quiet. Rosie is off, so she's sitting next to me. We both have short glasses of pink stuff in front of us.
X-Rated. Passion fruit flavored vodka. I was dared to cut a promo while drinking pink alcohol, and what the heck do I care?
My NFW Television Title belt is also in the shot. I don't like to bring it out in public because I'm not much of a show-off, but I think it's important this time to show my credentials for what I'm about to say.
Because, I've been living on the edge, but this could push me off the cliff.)
"A year and a half ago, Craig Miles and Eddie Mayfield declared that the Wrestling Revolucion had begun, and that their goal was to strip New Frontier Wrestling of the time traveling, dystopian dildonite, drug - addled haze that surrounded the top half of Wrestlebowl 2, in favor of a cleaner, smoother, more streamlined wrestling product."
"In other words, they were taking everything that made fans tune in every week and getting rid of it, to see if they could still draw a crowd. Interesting plan, I must say, but if you actually look at Wrestlebowl 2... really look at it, you'll see that there was plenty of wrestling there. Dan Ryan and Eli Flair, Nova and Yori, before they went into Mike Randalls' locker room, Felix and Kin... and Craig and Eddie themselves put on a clinic of wrestling, brawling, and garbage that I think currently reigns as the standard for at least one of those categories."
Ironic, no?
"So what happened? What made Craig Miles and Eddie Mayfield discard the dish that brought 'em to the dance? I think it was a combination of a few things: the rise of Joe the Plumber, the war between Legion and Varga, and the saga of Rook Black and the Uber Judge. The continued escalation and enhancement of the outrageous made it necessary to continue to escalate and enhance the outrageous, to the point where the NFW's CGI department--"
("I thought they just had an intern," said Rose.)
Intern. Whatever.
"--to the point where they'd reached the limits of what they could put on the screen. Which was fine by me; I've never been a special effects kind of guy."
You all know that. You've seen me wrestle. Even my detractors, who claim I'm boring and naive and all that other stuff - you're really showing your ass if you dare suggest I don't know how to wrestle.
"No, my problems began when I dared suggest that the NFW World Champion be given the courtesy of the NFW World Championship belt, a belt that President Mayfield continues to withhold and defend with his very life, because he had the audacity to be the first legitimate NFW homegrown talent in years, but be a plumber. Joe has wrestled exclusively for New Frontier Wrestling for his entire career; he represents this company more completely than anyone has since Shane Southern and Michael Manson wrestled to determine the Season One Ultratitle championship."
But he doesn't fit the mold. President Mayfield, when has anything in New Frontier Wrestling fit the mold?
"I'm a wrestler. I'm a darn good one, and I don't get caught up in the hysterics that President Mayfield has decided are against his administration. So it was probably a mistake on my part to start calling him by his first name--"
("Dennis?" asked Rose.)
You're gonna get me in trouble again.
"--because now, I'm in his sights. But, if Crash is any indication, his problems have just started."
"Weren't you supposed to eliminate the insanity from New Frontier Wrestling, Eddie? How's that been working out for you? Has your crusade made things any better?"
Let's take a look. A trio of questionable wrestlers and their manager, as well as the entire cast of a cheesy sitcom were torched. New wrestlers named Captain Conga and Unicorn Mask debuted. Nothing against either man, I thought they both did fantastic for their debuts, but their entire personality is against what Eddie claims to want for this company.
"Not just that, but Eddie barely escaped with his life as Joe continues to hunt him down for his title belt, and the main event turned into a cluster with virtually everyone that was in the arena running in to add their names to Brock and Cameron's story."
"Is this your idea of control, Eddie? By forbidding the controlled chaos that New Frontier Wrestling thrived on, you've invited more of the same, only completely out of your control."
Where does this leave me?
"This is still my home, Eddie, and I'll defend it until you fire me, because I don't intend to ever leave. And I'll defend this belt--"
--as I gestured to my Television Title belt--
"--as often as I can get booked until someone either pins me fairly for it, or makes me tap out. And then I'll defend that person as the rightful Television Champion."
"Regardless of your feelings about the World Champion, Joe the Plumber brings people to the arena. Rook Black and myself both wrestle as hard as we can with completely different approaches to what it means to be a champion, and we thrive on it. Your Tag Team Championships have fueled one of the most exciting feuds this millennium."
"Is this self - serving war of yours really worth losing what we've all built?"
FADE