Mittens T. Cat
League Member
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2006
- Messages
- 109
- Points
- 0
A guy in a big, giant cat costume walks into a bar.
No, that is not a joke. But this is:
Baby Jesus walks into a bar. The 'tender's all like, "Yo Jesus, what'll ya have?" and B.J. replies, "A virgin mary."
Dude, I just made that up. I'm more awesome than Goldberg~!!! Seriously though, I'm God. Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "WTF? this guy aint God." Well **** you, I am too. See, back when I made the Earth, I had no clue the world was gonna turn out all gay like it is now (not gay like, "dude i'm gonna buttscrew you." which, by the way, is totally a sin and you'll burn in hell for it). So I've come back, in cat form, to correct it.
This ****'s gonna be like MOTHA****IN' STAR WARRRRRRSSSS!!! WH00 YEAH~!!!
I'm Obi-wan.
Anyway, yeah, so I didn't finish the story I started out telling you. I walked into this bar, right? And the 'tender thinks he's gonna be a big man, and make a joke about me. "No cats allowed, lolz lolerskate rotflmao lololololol." No one else laughed, because before they opened their mouths I jackjawed him! HARD! Harder than a 10 inch, black boner. So, you can imagine how hard it was. After that I had sex with like a bajillion women and drink eighty shots of vodka. I wasn't even buzzed!!!
Now, you might be saying to yourself: "This cat's more full of **** than my large intestine, which by the age of 40 will have had 3000 pounds of meat inside it."
But, riddle me this? Was that stat, itself, a ****ty stat? What is a stat anyway? Stats are for goobersmoochers anyway, if you ask me. I mean, sure, I might only have 2 wins in my thirty match long career. But that's just a stat. In my mind, I'm worthy of being your champion.
In fact, I should be your champion. Give me the ****ing belt. NOW.
NOW!!!
Or don't, and suffer the consequences (i.e. getting your weiner cut off and eaten by an unborn fetus).
Oh, and DON'T say I'm NOT a cat. That's like, the death penalty here now, capiche? get it? got it? YOU BETTUH GET IT, BEFORE I SLAP YOUR ASS WITH MY PADDLE!!!
Oh yeah, I have a paddle... and a guitar. I'll let you play it sometime...
WITH YOUR FACE~!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GAWD~!! SNAP, CRACKLE, POP!!! BURN!!!
kbyehuney.
No, that is not a joke. But this is:
Baby Jesus walks into a bar. The 'tender's all like, "Yo Jesus, what'll ya have?" and B.J. replies, "A virgin mary."
Dude, I just made that up. I'm more awesome than Goldberg~!!! Seriously though, I'm God. Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "WTF? this guy aint God." Well **** you, I am too. See, back when I made the Earth, I had no clue the world was gonna turn out all gay like it is now (not gay like, "dude i'm gonna buttscrew you." which, by the way, is totally a sin and you'll burn in hell for it). So I've come back, in cat form, to correct it.
This ****'s gonna be like MOTHA****IN' STAR WARRRRRRSSSS!!! WH00 YEAH~!!!
I'm Obi-wan.
Anyway, yeah, so I didn't finish the story I started out telling you. I walked into this bar, right? And the 'tender thinks he's gonna be a big man, and make a joke about me. "No cats allowed, lolz lolerskate rotflmao lololololol." No one else laughed, because before they opened their mouths I jackjawed him! HARD! Harder than a 10 inch, black boner. So, you can imagine how hard it was. After that I had sex with like a bajillion women and drink eighty shots of vodka. I wasn't even buzzed!!!
Now, you might be saying to yourself: "This cat's more full of **** than my large intestine, which by the age of 40 will have had 3000 pounds of meat inside it."
But, riddle me this? Was that stat, itself, a ****ty stat? What is a stat anyway? Stats are for goobersmoochers anyway, if you ask me. I mean, sure, I might only have 2 wins in my thirty match long career. But that's just a stat. In my mind, I'm worthy of being your champion.
In fact, I should be your champion. Give me the ****ing belt. NOW.
NOW!!!
Or don't, and suffer the consequences (i.e. getting your weiner cut off and eaten by an unborn fetus).
Oh, and DON'T say I'm NOT a cat. That's like, the death penalty here now, capiche? get it? got it? YOU BETTUH GET IT, BEFORE I SLAP YOUR ASS WITH MY PADDLE!!!
Oh yeah, I have a paddle... and a guitar. I'll let you play it sometime...
WITH YOUR FACE~!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GAWD~!! SNAP, CRACKLE, POP!!! BURN!!!
kbyehuney.