Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast

[Justin]

Evolution TV 05

Roleplay Deadline: Friday, April 27th, 11:59pm PST
Segment Deadline: Sunday, April 29th, 11:59pm PST
Roleplay Limits: None. Go Batshit!

MAIN EVENT
Alceo Dentari vs Kevin Cage
Alceo has made quite the name for himself as of late as a bruiser, especially after taking out Bronson Box and starting fights with everybody this side of the Mississippi, but Kevin Cage ain't your average everyday competitior. In fact, he's a complete psychopath with an enormous chip on his shoulder. Only time will tell which of these bruisers will come out on top of the Evolution League in this Tie-Breaker Main Event!

Dan Ryan vs Jonny Booya
Dan Ryan and Jonny Booya are easily Evolution League's heavy hitters, and this week we'll get to see who hits the hardest when it counts. Will Dan Ryan be able to continue with his dominating ways, or is this where Jonny Booya steps up and stakes his claim as a Main Event talent?

Dragon Jones vs Mike Sloan
Dragon Jones has been doing his level best to make a name for himself in the business that doesn't include seventeen misspellings and the but end of a joke. However, this week he contends with an angry Mike Sloan, who may or may not be in the mood to deal with any of Dargon's shenanigans...

Pete Whealdon vs Yoshikazu YAZ
Pete Whealdon is an idiot. Yoshikazy YAZ is a man not known for suffering idiots. Can "Suite" Pete's antics get him through the masked madman, or will YAZ notch another one on his belt on the way to the Playoffs?

Jack Bryant vs Niklas Kiri
Bryant has been nigh unstoppable since entering DEFIANCE, but failed to make an impressive showing at the ESEN Primetime Special. Will he be able to get back on track this week against the debuting Minnesota Mastadon, or is this the beginning of an impressive run for Niklas Kiri?​

Also on the show:
-Fallout from the naming of Kevin "Satan" Alloy as Elijah Goldman's new assistant!
-WarGames is right around the corner, and you can better believe that E-Gold has a plan for his team!
-Will the World Title situation be addressed?
-Will Eric Dane be on hand to oversee the festivities, or is his effort focused on the ULTRATITLE?

 

[Aaron]

[Cut to: Pete Whealdon.

Mustache.]

Pete Whealdon: Hey Yaz. I'm gonna Surprise Sex your life.

[Inappropriate gyrations.]

[Fade.]

 

[AngerManagement]

Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant

I went looking for a monster.

[The screen is black.]

I found one.

[The voice you hear is drenched in reverb.]

Deep in the Minnesota wild, I found...

Niklas Kiri.

[Strobe light flashes...POW! POW! POW! Each one showing momentarily flashes of Niklas Kiri looking monstrous and scary, captured in various menacing poses.]

And the wrestling world trembled, waiting to find out where I would be taking this magnificent beast.

[Dramatic pause.]

...and prayed it wouldn't be where they were.

[The strobing images stop and the screen is black once again.]

I decided to take my monster to Defiance.

[The Defiance Wrestling logo fades up.]

And, when Elijah Goldman decided to fire Heidi Christensen with prejudice, the path was clear to sign on with the Evolution League.

[The logo disappears. The reverb is taken off the voice.]

Which brings us to...today.


[And we cut to the office of Jonas Anger. It was his voice we were hearing and it is his voice we continue to hear. Peering through reading glasses, Jonas reads from a large, dusty book...that looks somewhat like a magician's spell book.]

ANGER:
When a monster debuts for a wrestling promotion, there are several strategies that company can take to properly introduce a new, powerful force...there are proven tactics in setting that monster loose on their roster.

[Jonas turns a page in the book.]

ANGER:
The first is simply to begin feeding the weakest opponents to him--to build up the monster's credibility and start a long winning streak that only the company's best wrestlers can even hope to put a stop to... It's a time-tested formula that always does good business.

[Jonas smiles. Nods. Turns another page.]

ANGER:
The second strategy would be to have the monster come in unannounced and destroy the company's best wrestler first...and then start feeding him the weakest opponents to him while the company's best wrestler deals with the anger, the humiliation and the recuperation necessary to make a fan-demanded rematch viable. That plan can keep customers filing through the turnstiles for months...years, even.

[Jonas smiles again. Nods again. Turns another page.]

[The smile goes away.]

ANGER:
The third option is just to throw the new monster up against some random opponent.

[Jonas takes a deep breath and lets out a heavy sigh. He closes the book and puts that book on his desk behind him.]

ANGER:
Well...let me take this opportunity to say "Hello" to Jack "Random Opponent" Bryant.

[Jonas Anger, with that sparkle in his eye, gives a smile and a nod towards the camera.]

ANGER:
Hello! Niklas Kiri will be making his Evolution League debut against you. And, on behalf of my client, I've done some research on you, Jack Bryant.

[Jonas reaches back to pick up a folder from his desk. The folder has Jack Bryant's name on it. Jonas opens the folder and pulls out a single piece of paper from it.]

ANGER:
Well, let's see here, Jack. You're big. You're strong. You're tough.

[Jonas scans the page for more information. He then puts the piece of paper on his desk.]

ANGER:
I think that's pretty much it, right?

[Jonas opens the folder and shakes it. There are no more pages in the folder. He looks up at the camera, almost apologetically.]

ANGER:
Did I miss anything?

[Jonas looks underneath the open folder to see if any more pieces of paper fall out. None do.]

[Jonas sighs and puts the folder back onto his desk.]

ANGER:
Well, Jack...my client, Niklas Kiri...
He's bigger than you.
He's stronger than you.
He's tougher than you.

[Jonas Anger shrugs his shoulders.]

ANGER:
So, yeah...good luck with that, Jack.

[Jonas walks away from his desk to stand in front of one of the walls of his office--the only wall, it seems, in his office that is bare.]

ANGER:
But, let's just see what my client has to say about facing you, Jack. So, let me introduce you to...Niklas Kiri.

[Plaster and dust explode from the bare wall--and Niklas Kiri, as if he was the Kool-Aid man, bursts forth from behind that wall. Kiri is all jacked up. He's large enough that he easily dwarfs his manager. He seems large enough that when he steps forward to completely fill the screen with his angry, strap-masked covered face, he probably also eclipses the sun.]

KIRI:
It doesn't matter who I face. Any who oppose me will be destroyed. They will be shamed and then shattered. They will be bruised and then broken. I will rip them into pieces and throw the scraps into the stands for souvenirs.

[Kiri spits when he talks. Kiri doesn't care.]

KIRI:
Give me your tired, your weak, your huddled masses yearning to be free...and I will grind them into dust under my boot. Give me your champions, your heroes, the biggest bad-asses you have on your ruster...and I will ruin them...

[From behind the massive frame of his client, Jonas Anger prods him to deal with the task at hand.]

ANGER:
Can you talk specifically about Jack Bryant?

[Niklas Kiri turns his head--still filling the frame, but now in profile--to answer his manager.]

KIRI:
Jack Bryant? I don't care about Jack Bryant. He's just drawn the short straw. He's just going to be first. It could have been anybody. I don't have to give a damn about Jack Bryant to crush him.

[Niklas Kiri turns to stare menacingly and directly into the camera.]

KIRI:
Make me care, Jack. I dare you.

[Kiri maintains the cold stare for a few seconds before his face erupts in a snarl--a snarl that seems to shatter the glass of the camera lens, but, in fact, it is just a post-production effect.]

[The digitized "glass shards" are replaced by the name KIRI in forest green letters on an iron range red background designed to leave a clear and permanent impression on the minds of fans and potential foes alike.]

 

[Jonathan Todd]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant

It happens EVERY morning when my feet touch the cold wooden floor; joints pop; bones creak; and the thoughts that I’m just a shade over 30 and my body is already trying to give up on me run rampant in my mind.. Sure, I’ve put I my body through the ringer before I hit my mid-twenties. I once was told if it’s worth doing it’s worth doing it right. But at what expense? Giving it all I have plus finding a reserve stashed somewhere deep down, what has it achieved? I’m 32 and it hurts to make a fist. That’s not all, my body it’s slowing down, not healing as quickly as it did back when I started. This thing between Box and I… it HURT. Physically… a few Tylenol 3 the day after a match and I can cope. It has been a long time since a pill really helped. Mentally…well here I am, sitting on the corner of my bed and I’m “afraid” to put my weight on my feet. I know as soon as I do the sharp, blinding pain will course it’s way up through my feet and I’ll need to sit back down. I have to work up the courage every morning just to make it out of bed.


I’m beginning to have doubts. Doubts on how much longer I can do this. How much longer I can push myself to these limits that I go.


All of this because of the bright decisions I’ve made through out my life.


Then I made one of the brightest decisions in my life and decided that Professional Wrestling, not the NFL, was the smart route. Who could get hurt fake wrestling? It was a brilliant idea I tell you. I’m the smartest man on the planet if you believe that wrestling is fake.


Again when I wake up I try and curl my hands into a fist…they make it, but barely. It’s more like a loose grip. Wrestling… smart move. Right.


I think that maybe, just maybe, that if I would just quit while I’m “ahead” that I’ll be able to reach forty and not have a plastic knee or need a wheel chair to make these appearances for the Children’s Hospital. I know I’m not far from it, but I can never leave this business while there are so many things that I have to correct.


I never was the “nicest” guy to know in the business, but I always did the right thing. I might have had to take the long road , the ugly road, in order to do the correct thing. Sometimes that meant aligning myself with people of not so nice disposition in the public eye… Eric Dane, Mr. Black Hat himself. He showed me the ugly road, the ugliness of it all.


Why oh why could I not have found a friend in someone like Christian Light? The only person that I know in this industry that stands for something.


Not like Dentari or YAZ. Those two children haven’t seen the light yet. Just two pups who want to make a name for themselves and ride on it for a few years. Those two we knew what they were about and it helps me get out of bed every morning knowing that it’s just around the corner when I’ll be able to wrap my hands around the throat of the grease ball and his masked protector. That … That I can live with. That helps dull the pain most mornings.


Jack Bryant on the other hand. That one burns just a little deeper. I put out my hand to him… Back in the old days it meant something to have a person, like myself, offer a younger star a little respect. Eric shook my hand a day after he nailed me to the canvas. It’s an acknowledgement that he witnessed something in me… a greatness perhaps… or an enemy he just didn’t want.


I saw that in Jack… one or the other… I witnessed it. And what did he do, he spat in my face. Cool, we each have long walk that we must take for ourselves. On that walk we must make choices for every step that we take. Jack… he made his. Can’t fault him for turning it down, but what I can blame him for is the fashion he did.


He disrespected me.


He disrespected the business in which we work.


He disrespected the culture that we created.


All for a lousy statement. He wants to travel down the same path that YAZ and Dentari are traveling. For sure it’s an easy road. A road with no guilt. Spill as much blood as you want to and have no remorse. It’s a simple road, not complicated at all.


Then there’s the other path, the one that I’m TRYING to stay on, but it’s far more complicated. I have a conscience , I’ve always had one, but lately it’s been showing itself more frequent. I’ve been turning the other cheek at the jabs and pokes just to give people another person to look up too. And it’s hard thing to do.


And for all it’s worth… I might just be doing the right thing.

 

[Damien]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant

Quite Literally, An Offer You Can't Refuse​

​

"I ain't a bad man... Everything I do... It's all just business."

Alceo Dentari, the true Evolution league leader, sat hunched forwards in a darkened room. He rubbed his neck slightly and winced as he tried to work out the knot that had been bothering him the last few days.

"I get no pleasure out of threatenin' a man's family..." he said barely able to contain a chuckle, "Ok, maybe a little, but I don't do it just for the fun of it, I do it because it's what's best for business."

As he leaned back into his chair, Alceo took a sharp intake of breath and released it slowly as his back came to meet the rest. He was still feeling sore from the fall he'd sustained at the end of the TLC match last week, but he wasn't going to ham it up with any neck braces, slings or crutches.

"See, what'd be bad for business is lettin' anybody, be they Jack Bryant, Christian Light... Hell, even Dragon Jones, think they can get away wiith runnin’ me down verbally." he said before being forced to stop by the pain in his neck.

No, not Jonny Booya.

He'd be the pain much further south.

"I can't go lettin' that happen, so I have to say and do things things that others may find... over the top." Said Alceo, "But if I don't keep remindin' people not to cross a Dentari, I wouldn't continue to be where I have since week one. Sat atop the pile a' talentless hacks that make up Evolution.

With a grunt Aleceo leaned forwards again and fixed his gaze right down the camera lens.

"So, Light, hear this. I weren't playin' an' I centarinly weren't just posturin'." He continued, "Our paths are gonna cross again some day, be they at the next ESEN special, the one after that or, as I expect is inevitable, in the final. An' when they do, if I have to delve even further into the depths of depravity to get inside that head a' yours, then I will. I promise."

With a straightened finger he pointed into the camera, almost as though he were trying to drill the message through the lens and into the mind of the intended target of his words.

"But, barring any unforeseen circumstance, we ain't gonna meet again for a while yet, so you can sleep easy in your bed knowin' them kids a' yours are tucked up safe in theirs." He said with a sinister curl in the corner of his mouth, "'Cause I know how much they mean to yous."

He allowed himself to relax a little, and the fire in his eyes died ever so slightly to be replaced with what appeared to be genuine pleasure.

"An' speakin' a' people I ain't gotta deal with again, Heidi Christenson has been added to the ever growin' list a' people that just couldn’t cut it in my league." he said with a hint of ecstacy in his voice. "Heidi, Box, Cannon, the list goes on and on and on. I guess them Defiance one point oh guys just ain't got what it takes. Who’s left?"

Dentari paused for a second to stifle a laugh before continuing.

"Cancer Jiles, Eugene Dewey and Dragon Jones." He scoffed, "That's who you've got left representin' your ‘fantastic’ company? Yous guys need real men with real talent that yous can get behind. An' I got just the three for yous... YAZ, myself, an' maybe, just maybe my opponent this week, Kevin Cage."

Alceo leaned back in an attempt to appear less threatening. It worked as well.

"Now, Kev, you may remember last week I kindly welcomed you to Evolution with a choice... A choice that should be the easiest one you'll ever make in your whole life." he said, "I offered you a spot alongside the two greatest stars in Defiance history, an' that offer still stands."

He flashed a toothy grin as though he were manning his Uncle Guiseppe's used car lot back in Brooklyn, and was trying to entice some poor schmuck to purchase a run down motor.

"I like you, Kev, you're one of the few around here o earn earn that accolade, an' it don't matter to me that durin' your time in the league where points are passed out like candy corn on Halloween you only managed to pick up sixteen. That ain't important." Alceo said as though he were talking to an old, dear friend, "What is important is that we see potential in you, an' now that potential’s here in Evolution, we wanna help you make sure it ain't wasted no more."

Alceo tilted his head to one side, and tried hard to mask the pain that shot through his entire shoulder.

"Yous got your little head start in Heritage, an' yous brought them points over with yous, congratulations." He said, sounding a little concerned, "But now, yous in a place where you won't be rewarded with a handful a' points for just breathin' out. Now, yous in a place where points are gonna be harder to come by than an 'original' defiant."

I know, Dentari concerned? Crazy but true.

"That is unless you know people." Alceo added with a grin, "An' we're the best people to know around here if yous wanna get ahead in this league. Of course, if yous need a little convincin' a' that this week, then I ain't above offerin' up that assistance."

He leaned forwards one more time and clasped his hands together between his knees.

"I'm eagerly awaitin' your answer, Kev, but in all honesty," Alceo said with a smile and raised eyebrows, "I think it's in everyone's best interest that yous accept, capiche?"

"Now ain't that a kick in the head."

 

[Biron]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant

(Up.)

(CUT TO: Jack Bryant, dressed in a black Alabama Crimson Tide tee from Nike, Wrangler jeans, and snakeskin cowboy boots, standing in front of an Evolution League backdrop.)

JB:
“ Ah reckon Ah better get through last week’s business b’fore Ah move onta’ this week’s. Sloan, ya’ extended yer hand ta me in a show a’ respect, tryin’ ta be mah pal, n’ Ah accepted that hand. (flashes a crooked grin.) Then Ah reeled you in like tha’ dumb, floppin’ catfish ya’ are n’ Ah damn near cut through yer spinal cord with mah Mason-Dixon Line. Why, oh why would Ah do that? (puts hands on hips) Ya’ didn’t show me a lick a’ respect leadin’ up ta our match n’ now, after Ah whupped yer ass, ya’ wanna shake mah hand? ‘nstead, ya’ shoulda takin’ yer beatin’ n’ stayed outta mah damned way. That’s why Ah did what Ah did. Ah already took what Ah needed from ya’, Sloan. Yer name holds a little worth. Yer chickenshit handshake ain’t worth a pot a’ piss far as Ah’m concerned. That’s tha’ long n’ short a’ it. You walk yer path a’ havin’ a conscience n’ Ah’ll walk tha’ path a’ becomin’ tha’ Master a’ Wrasslin’. n’ if you decided ya’ wanna a lil’ payback, Sloan, Ah got no qualms with beatin’ a Dead Horse! ”

(JB rubs his hands together.)

“ Week Five is lookin’ real interestin’, that’s fer certain. Jonas Anger n’ Nikky Kiri put on a real, real nice song n’ dance fer me. Ah mean jumpin’ through a sheetrock wall is real intimidatin’. Spittin’ and stammerin’ like a flooded tractor was mighty impressive, too. Hell, Nikky cracked tha’ camera lens with that ugly mug a’ his. Ah got ta thinkin’, how in tha’ hell am Ah gonna whup this oiled up, ‘roid monster. Ah ain’t bigger than him, Ah ain’t stronger than him, n’ Ah ain’t tougher than him. Then tha’ answer ta mah big, retarded problem dawned on me. This here is a wrasslin’ league. Ah can tie lil’ Nikky Kiri inta’ knots that he ain’t smart ‘nough ta get outta. Jonas might be able ta double-knot yer shoes backstage fer you, bub, but he wouldn’t dare climb inta tha’ ring with ol’ Jack Bryant. See, Jonas, Nikky, ya’all might win tha’ promo theatrics portion a’ our time together, but, when it comes ta a wrasslin’ match, yer out-classed n’ out-smarted. Ah don’t need ta make ya’ care, Nikky, all Ah need ta do is make ya’ tap n’ that Ah can do (snaps fingers) like THAT. ”

(FTB)

 

[AngerManagement]

Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant #2

I am the master of this circus.

[The screen is black and the voice we hear is that of Jonas Anger.]

What a show! What a show! Come one! Come all! See the strange and unusual! See death defying stunts! See exotic animals from around the world!

[We hear the swirl of a circus organ.]

But mostly, people will come from miles around and they will pay to see the monster I found deep in the Minnesota wild.

Niklas Kiri.

[The darkness is broken by flashes of a strobelight...each flash showing Niklas Kiri in various menacing poses.]

And everyone in attendance who holds their breath when the monster is revealed will have one thought in their mind.

[Dramatic pause and the music stops.]

They'll all thank heaven that they're not Jack Bryant.

[The strobing images stop and the screen is black once again.]

Of course, that's true pretty much every day.




[Jonas Anger strolls past a series of classic circus posters, hung in a museum. Each poster highlights the thrills one might expect to find at a circus from the Golden Age. As he walks, Jonas turns to the camera to address it directly.]

ANGER:
Once again, let me say "Hello!" to Jack "Random Opponent" Bryant...who, strangely, is spending his precious remaining time on this earth being concerned about things that have already happened, rather than making peace with his inevitable fate.

[Jonas stops walking.]

ANGER:
Makes me think you might want to skip this upcoming match, Jack. Obviously, you're distracted by this Mike Sloan fella.

[Jonas shrugs.]

ANGER:
Honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you decided to take the rest of the month off, so you can deal with...whatever that was. Discretion being the better part of valor...and all that. I'd hate for you to be not "all there" in your head when finding yourself in the ring facing my client.

[Jonas, sparkle in his eyes, smiles a bit sheepishly.]

ANGER:
Actually, no, I'd be thrilled if you were thinking of Mike Sloan while Niklas Kiri was bashing your head in. But, part of me doesn't want it to be too easy for Niklas to destroy you. Where's the fun in that?

[His face turns serious.]

ANGER:
And I'd hate for you to have an easy excuse ready for after your loss.

[Jonas continues his stroll past these circus posters.]

ANGER:
And don't try to tell me that you're not distracted, Jack...because I watched your podcast and I heard you actually suggest that you'll win this match because you're smart.

[The very idea makes Jonas chuckle.]

ANGER:
Now, remember, I was quite gracious to you, Jack. I admitted that you're big, strong and tough. But how dumb do you have to be to think that you're smart?

[Jonas stops walking again, to speak directly to the camera.]

ANGER:
Jack. You're from Alabama. I've done the research. Alabama is ranked 46th in the country in education. Niklas Kiri grew up in Minnesota...they're 4th. Being from Alabama, you might not be good enough at math to know how big of a difference that is...

[Jonas looks up, searching for words to explain.]

ANGER:
Even if you're the smartest man in the history of Alabama, Jack--wouldn't they need you there...to make certain that the convicts spell those license plates correctly?

[Jonas leans in to emphasize what he's about to say.]

ANGER:
And, exactly how smart are you going to be when Niklas Kiri is unleashing mighty KiriHammers to the sides of your skull, Jack? That rattling noise you hear will be your last brain cell--probably still thinking about Mike Sloan.

[Jonas takes a breath before continuing.]

ANGER:
You are many things, Alabama Jack..smart is not one of them. Brain damaged, perhaps, to think yourself smart.

[Jonas continues his stroll.]

ANGER:
So, maybe we just look at some pretty pictures...

[Jonas points at the poster nearest to him. There is a circus elephant standing on its hind legs in the center of the ring on this poster.]

ANGER:
Look, Jack! Here's an elephant! Oooooh, and here's a lion!

[Jonas points at the next poster, where there is a lion being tamed by a man with a chair.]

ANGER:
And here, I guess I should help you with this one...because it's got words on it.

[Jonas, speaking slowly and distinctly like a special needs teacher, points at each word on the poster.]

ANGER:
It says "The...most...ferocious...untamed...beast...found...in the wild!!!

[On cue, Niklas Kiri, in full fury, bursts through the poster. The poster hangs in shreds after he makes his dramatic entrance.]

ANGER:
So, Niklas Kiri...have you seen Alabama Jack's podcast?

[Kiri lifts up an old CRT monitor--pressing it together in both hands in front of him. Frozen on the screen is a shot of Jack Bryant's face looking, rather dumbly, into the camera. It makes it look like Jack's head is trapped in a vise of Kiri's powerful hands.]

KIRI:
You've failed, Jack Bryant. Nothing you said made me care about you. All you're going to be is first.

ANGER:
He says he'll make you tap out.

KIRI:
HA! He should hope to live so long...

ANGER:
He says he's smarter than you are.

[Effortlessly, Kiri crushes the monitor between his massive gloved hands. With Jack Bryant's face on the screen, before it crumbles into pieces and dust, it looks like Jack's head was squeezed until it pops--reminiscent of the movie "Casino".]

[Kiri shakes his head.]

KIRI:
Not smart.

[Kiri lets the shattered pieces of the monitor fall from his hands to the floor. He looks at them for a second before snapping his head and shoulders back and unleashing a mighty roar--a roar that, in a post-production effect, seems to shatter the glass of the camera lens with a loud crash.]

[Once again, the digitized "glass shards" are replaced by the name KIRI in forest green letters on an iron range red background...as this seems to be a thing that's going to happen when these end.]

 

[Jonathan Todd]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant #2

My eyes they open dreamily and my arm carefully reaches to the left in hopes of finding a warm body next to me.


My eyes shoot open and filled with sleepy dread of course there wouldn’t be, it was all a dream. My eyes search and see the red digital lights from my alarm clock and it’s not yet morning and too late to be called night. I pull myself back together and close my eyes for a few more hours sleep. Maybe this time I won’t see her face.


When my eyes open there is a stream of sunlight falling through my bedroom window. It would be nice if she was waking up beside me, at least I would have someone to tell about this nightmare. Her face still haunts me and it seems as if all of that happened a lifetime ago.


All it was supposed to be was a simple Sunday cruise across the Causeway, leading into Spanish Fort, Alabama, it was a tradition that we had carried throughout our courtship. She said that liked how the scenery changed so rapidly, leaving the “big” city and in a blink of an eye we travel along the coast and into a forest. I had lived there my entire life and never realized how spectacular it was.


With the words “Just Married” still painted on my ‘69 Chevelle SS I thought her face was going to make that trip turn into memories that you cherish for a life time. Instead it turns out that after ten years I am still having nightmares about one stupid decision made by the driver and his thirst for liquor.


At the end of the Causeway there a stop light and a four way. We’d always make the right turn and go to the small shopping center that was a mile back into reality. We’d laugh and joke, she’d make wise crakes about how the car was more of a tank than a car. I would just be so serious and mention that this was a car and the newer vehicles were just a larger version of Hot Wheels. Those days were like clockwork, you could set your watch by our trip.


The lasting memory of our last trip … is burnt into my mind. The way the Fire Department had to use the Jaws of Life to open the car like a tin can. The way they pulled her limp body out of the passenger’s seat. And how I kept fading in and out of consciousness after being thrown from the vehicle.. All because of another stupid decision.


I can forgive the man. Just not the mistake. Ten years ago, one accident, one mistake, and it changed me forever. My entire life shifted, my persona changed, and you could have witnessed it in my work. I didn’t care what happened to me inside or outside the ring. A little pain dulled the knife that dug into my skull every time I saw her face…every time I closed my eyes.


Why couldn’t I save her? Why could it not have been me?


I push myself off of the bed. I have to start doing something to erase the guilt that I feel every time I wake up. I have to start doing something to erase these last ten years.


But what?

 

[DBrunkGXW]

FADE IN.

Somewhere between Houston, TX and Chicago, Illinois, Dan Ryan is sitting in a first class seat on a 767. He's peering out the window at the clouds below, no smirk this time. It's dark out, an overnight flight, and most of the seats in first class are empty, giving Ryan a sort of privacy, the kind he usually has to pay extra for.

DAN RYAN: "It feels like 2005 again, and not in a good way. I was on top of my game in 2005, but I was also stretched to the limit. Right now, I'm starting to get a few flashbacks."

"It's been a very very busy few weeks."

"I promoted a show in the Empire, wrestled a match for CWC, wrestled in a Royal Rumble somewhere else, spent quite a bit of time talking to the press about ULTRATITLE and now, I turn my attention back to Evolution. The five way match seems almost like it was a lifetime ago, even though it just happened. It didn't turn out quite like I hoped, granted, but that's fine. I've had disappointments before."

"I'm sure I'll have them again."

"Christian Light, well done. What can a guy say but congratulations? Alceo Dentari, I still think you seem more suited to making a commercialized pasta product, but whatever. Heidi Christiensen, well, so long Heidi. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I don't think anyone should be. You sleepwalked through your title reign and seem surprised that the company dumped you on your ass. Too bad. You were supposed to be pretty good. Now I'll never get to see that first hand."

"Cancer Jiles...."

"Well Jiles, I must say, well played. I'm pretty sure the fake injury thing has been done about as often as the evil owner thing, but hey, look where it got you, right? You did alright. You didn't win. Still, you did alright."

"And me, well, I could have done better."

"So it's Johnny Booya for me. They said we were heavy hitters, and maybe we are, but I have something to prove right now. I'm not used to having something to prove, but then, maybe it's just what I need. Maybe I need a swift kick in the ass since it seems I've been running on a treadmill lately."

"It's time to stop worrying about how busy I am and concentrate on doing my job. I wasn't brought here to be a fun little match in the middle of the show. I was brought here to be the man, and it's up to me to prove that I deserve that. You can't coast in this business. You coast, and you get passed by."

"So Johnny, man, I don't know what's gonna happen to you this week, but I do know I'm out for blood, and right about now, anybody's blood will do. If it's yours, all the better. I'm not that picky."

"But it's getting down to the nitty gritty, and it's time I made my move."

"I'll just have to rest when I'm dead."

FADE OUT.

 

[Biron]

[ CUT TO: Jack Bryant, dressed in a Monsta ‘Diesel Muscle Body Shop’ tee, Wrangler jeans, and light-brown Double H boots, standing in front of a Grand Champions League backdrop. Bryant, flashing a crooked grin, runs a thick, calloused paw over his month-old beard. ]

JB:
Yanno, Jo, ya’ walk in ta tha’ Grand Champions League with yer roided-up retard, yer three-ring circus act, n’ ya’ seem ta think that nobody’s gonna see through it. Ya’ seem ta think tha’ oil on his arms might cover up tha’ shit in his brain ‘er tha’ lead in his rear. Fellas like Nikky are a dime-a-dozen. Seems like every month a monster arrives n’ a mushmouth like yerself starts sellin’ ‘em n’ people jump on tha’ bandwagon. ‘cause, out of the ring, they look damn good. Then, what happens is, yer dumb ox steps inta tha’ ring with somebody who knows what tha’ hell they’re doin’. That’s where mah smarts come inta play, Jo. See, Ah don’t know if ya’all couldn’t hear me over tha’ smackin’ sound a’ Nikky eatin’ his Gummie Bears ‘er what, but Ah never claimed ta be a rocket scientist. Ah never bragged ‘bout mah schoolin’. Ah said Ah would “out-smart” yer client Lord Humongous ‘nside a wrasslin’ ring. That’s cut n’ dry, Jo. Ah got a history a tearin’ ligaments on big, ol’ boys like Niklas. Weak knees don’t ‘ppreciate three-hundred pounds on ‘em. n’, Ah don’t reckon Nikky’ll be doin’ much heavy liftin’ with a bum ankle, either. Tha’ fact a’ tha’ matter is that Ah’ve already seen all this n’, when you stick that boy in a ring with me, Ah’m gonna put a beatin’ on him n’ send him back ta tha’ drawin’ board. Best sharpen up yer crayons, kids.

[ Sharky smirk. ]

JB:
Ah’m not gonna lie, ya’all put on a helluva show. Ah ain’t never jumped through a sheetrock wall. Never crushed a TV in mah hands. There’s a whole lot a’ posturin’ n’ bravado in yer bits, but yer not good enough, Jo. Ya’ speak ‘bout how unstoppable yer friend Nikky is n’ then you start fishin’ fer reasons as ta why tha’ brute could beat me. Ya’d like ta’ think Ah’m too scared ta step in a ring with him. Jo, this Southern boy will trade shots with anybody in tha’ World. Them muscles n’ that mask couldn’t produce a bead a’ sweat on a hot Alabama day from ol’ Jack Bryant. Ya’ hope that Ah’m distracted by “The Dead Horse” Mike Sloan. Ah handled that old dog n’ am movin’ forward. Ah’m tha’ most focused man in this Grand Champions League. It’s wrasslin’, wrasslin’, wrasslin’. Ah don’t do promotional garbage. Ah don’t sit ‘round playin’ video games. Ah live n’ breathe this sport. Ah want nothin’ more than ta be tha’ best, not just here, but ever. Ah don’t make excuses n’ Ah don’t need ‘em. Ah got mah rear handed ta me in tha’ T-L-C Match. That’s a minor bump in tha’ road, Jo. Ah’m still on track ta call mahself tha’ Master a’ Wrasslin’. Nobody has whupped me one-on-one. Ah’ve already put down two World Champions n’ there’s more on tha’ menu. But, first, Ah’m gonna show yer monster Nikky tha’ ropes … n’, then, Ah’m gonna give him just ‘nough ta hang himself with.

[ FTB ]

 

[Duncan]

"fifty...fifty-one...fifty-two"

We fade into our bumbling hero...doing squats? Wait, no wait. Seriously. This is one of those holograms like they used for Tupac right? I can't wait to see the Dead back on tour again with that sick ass technolo-

"Sup nerds." Dragon remarked, brushing the hair away from his face.

Wait what?

"Just caught me in the middle of 'things Mike Sloan can't do' workout routine. After these squats comes the 'not having crippling baggage' cardio. That lasts about five to ten minutes, though this is quite similar to Sloan, to be honest."

Did Cancer Jiles skin Dragon Jones? This is what I'm watching right?

Dragon smirks and sits on a stool after slapping a towel across his shoulder. He takes a moment to slug back half of a...is that a wheatgrass shake? What the **** man.

"You see what I did there? Easily grasping a glass, consuming what is within and then placing it down again? I did that without trouble! Amazing! For some DEFIANCE wrestlers this comes as second nature, for Mike Sloan it comes as anguishing torture. Naturally this comes as no surprise to you at home that I, Dragon Jones the First, will leave EVO TV with all five points."

He then turns and produces a small notepad, holding it up to the camera.

"You see this, Mikey? This is a list of rehabilitation clinics, reasonably priced mind you. I took into consideration if your body is so wrecked than your cheque account probably is too. Not all of us can be blessed with both ample amounts of skrilla and the use of both legs."

Is he lighting up a cigarette? Did JGX ruin him so hard that it somehow affected his psyche? IS THAT A CLOVE CIGARETTE?

"For too long people have looked down on me, thought of me as a jester or even an afterthought. This, of course, is unacceptable. No more will people assume an easy victory when Dragon Jones the First is across from them in the squared circle. I AM the finest product of the Jones' wrestling dynasty and it is time that I show the world what talent I have mined from my bloodline."

He blows a smoke ring. I'm still really confused at all of this and frankly I don't like it.

"Losing to Bryant? A mere glitch in the system, the Dragon Jones of old was faulty hardware. Shipped before all the bugs could be worked out. Unfortunately for everyone on the Evolution roster, I've gone through some extensive patches recently."

He smirks, reaching behind him and hoisting up the WWA Cruiserweight title, placing it on top of the towel on his shoulder.

"Do you remember this? Take a second, it's okay if you don't. Because this, like so many other things in Dragon Jones' life, was a mere fleeting moment. A taste of honeyed wine before being relegated to drinking vinegar again. The First will not allow history to repeat itself."

He tosses the belt from his shoulder and it hits the ground with a thud.

"To start, I'm going to dismantle Mike Sloan. To send a message to Evolution, to send a message to that two bit Sinatra impersonator Alceo and to anyone who dares to think that the top of the table is obtainable by them. There is only one man who will stand on the mountain once the fighting is through. Naturally that man is-"

He takes a deep drag from the cigarette, I haven't really worked with this new guy but I think he's prepping to end this.

"Dragon Jones the First."

He flicks the cigarette towards the camera, hitting it cherry side first and sending sparks all over the lens as he walks off with a smirk.

 

[Jonathan Todd]

The clock in the living room chimes twice for the time. Mike Sloan lays on his bed and wrapped up like a burrito in his sheets and comforter. His eyes just stare at a plain wall, he lays there wishing that he could just keep them closed.

He twists his waist and his feet touch the cold wood of the floor, a few joints pop as he stands erect. He inhales deeply as he stretches to the music of a few other joints pop. He sits back on the bed and searches the floor for his black knee brace, with luck he finds it after a few seconds. After years of having to lock his knee in this confine it only takes a moment to slip on the black brace and have the pressure from the brace deliver some sort of relief.


……


After a few minutes of catching the latest of from the Evolution roster Mike decides that he has to respond to Dragon Jones.

Sloan:
So… Um…Yeah I really have nothing to say to you Mr. Jones. I guess I could give you a piece of advice.


He pauses for a moment.


Sloan:
If someone calls you something and it’s true, own it. Make it yours and that way it cannot insult you. Accept your flaws and use them. That’s the least of the advice that I could give you.


Does that advice sound like a man who needs a twelve step program of some sort. Mike Sloan has always had his demons to fight and this is just another round in the bout.


Sloan:
One of us will walk out of Evolution five points richer and for all of my purposes I hope that it will be me. But, fate has a weird since of humor, it might not want me to beat respect into Alecio. Instead it might want you to do it.


A sort of smile crosses the face of the Dark Horse… The Morning Star… and the man of many other monikers.


Sloan:
I am the only person on the show that has pinned the man to the mat for a three count.


The words flow from his lips with a certain insulting connotation.


Sloan:
It seems like I’m not the only person who doesn’t like Alecio… And not wanting to beat a dead horse, but Jacky boy…seems like I’m still on your mind.


There is a short pause that fills the gaps between The Morning Star’s speech.


Sloan:
I understand nightmares and past regret… Being an opportunist and winning the match isn’t the same as beating me. Being bold and contorting the truth does not make you a champion. And taking a kindness as a weakness will comeback and kick your teeth in. Again congrats on beating Box…but that’s nothing like beating me. I’m going to teach Alecio and you the respect that your mother and father failed to do before the end of the season.


Mike just smiles.


Sloan:
Now… I have to plan a comeback.


Silence.

 

[AngerManagement]

Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant #3

I am the ad wizard who came up with this one.

[The voice is that of Jonas Anger and the screen is black. Again.]

I have a magnificent product to sell. Fearsome, terrifying, monstrous...

Niklas Kiri.

[Flashes of light, each flash showing Nikas Kiri being menacing. (You know the drill.)]

And I am selling my magnificent product very well. I am making everyone want him.

[Dramatic pause.]

Even Jack Bryant seems to want him.

[The screen is black again.]

He's definitely going to get him. All of him.



ANGER:
But, what Jack fails to realize is that I am merely reselling this product, repackaging it for the masses, managing the brand...

[We see a fair approximation of a conference room that might be found on Mad Men. On the walls, there are concept boards that a sharp-eyed viewer or someone in the advertising field would recognize as depicting the first two podcasts produced for Niklas Kiri--complete with mark-ups that indicate the options and discussions that went into making them look and sound the way they did. Jonas Anger sits comfortably at that table.]

ANGER:
This product HAS an owner. It has been invested in. It is important to someone powerful. Someone who has every motivation for this product to succeed.

[Jonas Anger has exchanged his robes and hat for a sharp business suit. He's kept his walking stick as a totemistic thing.]

ANGER:
I tried to explain that there are only certain ways to introduce a monster to the world. Perhaps you have not accepted your role as the random opponent, Alabama Jack. Perhaps you bristle at the thought that you were chosen to lose--to give credibility to the monster whose image I am in charge of promoting.

[Jonas takes off the black rimmed glasses that are part today's costume and gestures towards the camera with them.]

ANGER:
Jack, someone powerful has thrown you to the wolves. That someone powerful has made you merely a morsel for my monster.

[Jonas leans even closer into the camera, conspiratorially.]

ANGER:
How confident do you feel now, Alabama Jack? You think you're smart enough to defeat Niklas Kiri--are you even smart enough to feel the walls closing in around you?

[Jonas stands up and starts walking around the office.]

ANGER:
Let me put it in terms you might understand. This ain't my first rodeo, Alabama Jack. Personally, I've been in the wrestling business for over 30 years. And Niklas Kiri is not some green rookie whose inexperience you can exploit. Trained in Japan...successfully worked there for years. I sincerely doubt that you've got some secret trick up your sleeve that Niklas hasn't seen, hasn't countered and hasn't dominated before.

[Sparkle in his eye, Jonas allows a sly smile to cross his face.]

ANGER:
Hell, being from Alabama...how often do you even wear sleeves?

[The smile doesn't last.]

ANGER:
And I didn't choose Defiance by chance, Jack. Nothing I do is by chance.

[Jonas gestures at the tools of advertising surrounding him.]

ANGER:
Marketing an image can be very effective--but don't be so stupid as to be fooled into thinking that this is just some dog and pony show. This isn't smoke and mirrors, Alabama Jack...this is smoke and fire. You're simply the meat to be roasted upon the spit.

[The smile on Jonas Anger's face is oily.]

ANGER:
And what will all your precious points mean then?

[Jonas presses his hand to his temple, as if the entire subject of "points" was giving him a headache.]

ANGER:
Seriously...points, Jack? You're in this for points? What do points even mean? They're simply a means to an end...a way to promote a business. And you offer...nothing to that business. You've got the personality of an empty box. You're cannon fodder at best...and you're in it for the points?

[Jonas laughs.]

ANGER:
Niklas Kiri doesn't care about...points. Niklas Kiri just wants to destroy you.

[Jonas looks at the free standing bulletin board to his right. This would be the time of this podcast for Niklas Kiri to make his rather violent appearance--so, expect that bulletin board to explode.]

ANGER:
Don't you?

[On cue, but unexpectedly, Niklas Kiri makes his entrance by crashing through the glass door to Jonas Anger's left--as Jonas looked away to avoid the flying glass. As ever, Kiri looks massive and mean.]

KIRI:
Jack Bryant! You keep talking about all the things you're going to do. You're going to out-smart me. You're going to tie me in knots. You're going to make me tap.

[Kiri laughs at the thought.]

KIRI:
There's only two things you're going to do. You're going to bleed. You're going to lose.

[The big man's confidence is unwavering.]

KIRI:
I've been telling you that all you are to me is...first. That's all you'll ever be to me, Jack Bryant. First.

[What passes as a smile curls across Niklas Kiri's lips.]

KIRI:
But, you say you've never been whupped, one-on-one. Never.

[Kiri has never looked as serious as he does at this moment.]

KIRI:
Well, then...let ME be the first.

[Niklas throws his head and shoulders back and unleashes yet another mighty roar. The camera lens, however, doesn't shatter this time. Instead, all of the walls fall away with a number of loud clangs and bangs. With no walls standing, we see the various people who work on a film project--indicating that this advertising office was all just a set.]

[Niklas looks around at the destruction he's caused and smiles...before giving a menacing look and a sharp bark towards the camera. That's when the camera lens shatters and the name KIRI in forest green letters appear on an iron range red background.]

 

[JeffOLW]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant #3

A couple days after Yoshikazu YAZ’s victory over Michel LaLiberte, Lisa Loeh went to speak to Elijah Goldman in his office. She was less than impressed. The office was in impeccable condition, but this was mainly on account of there being almost nothing in it.

“I have a secretary who takes care of such things” E-Gold said curtly when Lisa asked him where he kept the records and contracts.

She thought about saying something about getting tar and feathers all over the documents due to his mismanagement, decided not to bring it up. She had business.

“So to make sure we’re clear. Has Yoshikazu YAZ been fulfilling your expectations as of late?”

At least E-Gold gave her a straightforward answer. “I’m not fully convinced of anything yet, Lisa, I haven’t yet seen him in a singles match against a significant opponent. He has however done a decent job as a counterbalance to Mike Sloan, and he has been performing better and winning matches of late. Keep him on this path and it will be all the hype and money you could ask for.”

She smiled then, prepared to leave

“Also, Lisa?”

She stopped.

“If YAZ were to become, er… ‘overanxious’… in his match against Pete Whealdon, I can’t say for sure what would happen.” Goldman said this while scratching the bottom side of his left wrist.

“I’ll advise him to exercise due restraint.” She said over her shoulder.

 

[Aaron]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant #3

[Cutto]

[Pete Whealdon.]

[Hawaiian Shirt.]

[Damien DeSett, he has tried to blech his goattee. but he only has stubble. He's drinking a protein shake.]

[Goldman's newest, mostest favoritest Assistant is on site, having set the camera on a tri-pod.]

Kevin/Satan(Now with more Evil!):
mmmmmmhehehehehehe.... Goldbaum, Satan thought those documents were the bearer bonds and he gave them to the mercenaries.

[Somewhere E-Gold is facepalming...

hard.]

Pete Whealdon:
Hey Yaz. It's the return.

of

the

....


[Ultra dramatic pause.]

[Inappropriate Gyrations.]

Pete Whealdon:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Damien attempts to operate the camera.]

[Black.]

 

[Biron]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant #3

[ Up. ]

[ CUT TO: Jack Bryant, wearing an orange General Lee ‘01’ shirt underneath a zip-up DEFIANCE hooded sweatshirt, Wrangler jeans, and Bronc Stomper cowboy boots, standing in front of a DEFIANCE on ESEN backdrop. ]

JB:
First off, slick, fer days n’ days n’ days, ya’ve been motormouthin ’ ‘bout me bein’ a Random Opponent. This is League-play, slick. It’s all random draw n’, bad news fer you boys, but ya’all got tha’ short-end a’ tha’ stick. It’s not a problem a’ recognition, Jo. It’s that Ah’m just not that interested in yer marketin’ ploy. Ah’m not worried ‘bout a no-name, no-talent, ‘roided-up retard that has never done anything, anywhere. But, wait, he was real successful in Japan. Sugamoto, tha’ Jap that everybody actually knew, tha’ one that actually accomplished somethin’ over there, washed out quick n’ in a hurry. A failure in Japan is a failure in tha’ US, Jo. Yer Bob Sapp, only dumber n’ uglier. [ Smirk. ] Repackage tha’ hell outta him. Lose tha’ Godzilla outfit n’ slap a strap-mask on him. That’ll scare tha’ children n’ tha’ housewives. Ya’ can slap lipstick on that pig, but he’s still a pig. Ya’ can sell whatever ya’ want, bub, but, when ya’ climb between tha’ ropes with this Southern boy, Ah’m gonna prove he’s all show n’ no go. Worry ‘bout yer marketin’, yer press conferences, n’ all tha’ other hoopla. Tha’ fact a’ tha’ matter is that Ah will step out under them lights n’ then put out whoever’s is standin’ across tha’ way from me.

[ Sends a gob of spit flyin’ off-screen. ]

JB:
See, there’s two men standin’ in that ring, Jo. Just me n’ big-n’-dumb. Ah willin’ ta wager that yer deep-pocketed backer ain’t got tha’ gravel in his guts ta intervene in mah match. Call it a hunch, but Ah reckon he’s mighty fond a’ his head bein’ on his shoulders. That’s why Ah don’t care a goddamn bit ‘bout yer all-powerful money man. Ah don’t care if it’s Elijah Goldman himself. It’s Nikky Kiri that needs ta put mah shoulders down fer tha’ ONE-TWO-THREE, not anybody else. Ah don’t need anybody ta back me. Ah don’t need a mushmouth swindler ta do mah talkin’ fer me. Ah might be simple, but that sure beats watchin’ Lord Humungo slobber like a hot-ta-trot hound. Ya’ve been fishin’ fer reasons that Nikky could beat me fer a good week now. From one ta another n’ on ta tha’ next. Ah reckon none a’ them are gonna hold water. It’s time ta sink ‘er swim, Nikky. Slap on them floaties n’ let’s see how ya’ do, boy.

[ FTB ]

 

[Lee R.]

Re: Evolution TV 05 Preview Podcast: NIKLAS KIRI vs Jack Bryant #3

[Cut to a wall. Or a door. Or something.]

[Jonny Booya peeks around the corner.]

Jonny Booya:
I don't got nothin' good this week. Here's hopin' that Dan Ryan's too busy Ultratitling to notice this.

[He leaves.]