He's BA-ACK

[MysteryMan]

(FADEIN: GUNS is standing in the locker room at Anniversary, and Rudy Seitzer approaches him.)

SEITZER: Wrestling fans, I can't believe what we just saw out there... GUNS has returned to the CSWA, and the question on everyone's mind is WHY?

GUNS: You thought it was over, didn't you, Rudy? You thought you'd never see me again, right? Everyone thought they'd seen the last of GUNS...they'd heard the last of GUNS...and you know what, Rudy... everyone was HAPPY about it. Everybody in that locker room...everybody sitting at the announce position...everybody in the front office...not ONE PERSON affiliated with the CSWA shed a tear when I left for the last time. (Smiles.)

But while the CSWA wrestlers, referees, announcers, and front office tried their best to forget me...those fans never let go of the memory...They never let go of the fact that one straw stirred the drink around here BIGGER and BETTER than anybody else. So when Eddy Love needed a partner...Chad Merritt gave him one phone number to call. Why? Does he hate Mike Randalls so MUCH...that he would bring in the biggest MALIGNANT TUMOR that this federation has ever seen? Frankly, Seitzer, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

I don't know what's gone on here since I left. I haven't watched it on television...haven't been to the arena...haven't read the dirt sheets. When I broke from the CSWA, I broke clean. To be perfectly honest with you, Rudy, when Eddy Love called me on the telephone, my first response was "Who?" You have some guy wrestling in the main event against Bugbrain tonight named Evan Aho...and I've never heard of him.

But the more things change, Rudy Seitzer, the more things stay the same...Mike Randalls and Mark Windham in the same ring at the same time? (Laughs.) Reminds me over over five years ago...with the EN World Heavyweight Championship on the line...and I tore through both of those men like a hot knife through butter then...JUST like I did here tonight.

SEITZER: That's all well and good, GUNS...but do you plan to stick around...or was this just a one-shot deal?

GUNS: Rudy Seitzer, I'm going to be here as long as I want to be. (Smiles.) We got all the big names from the past here, don't we? I destroyed Randalls and Windham here tonight...we got Tom Adler here... and my old buddy Hornet is wrestling for the World title. Good for him. Then we've got a bunch of young guys who I don't know a damn thing about. Good for them. But, I have one thing to say to everybody in that locker room...including the man I teamed with tonight. Eddy Love, tonight I used you to get my foot in the door. Chad Merritt...tonight I did your dirty work, but you know as well as I do that I didn't do it for you. Mike Randalls is still paying his tab for the stake he stuck through my knee all those years ago, and beating Mark Windham like a rented mule NEVER gets old. (Smiles.) But now, Eddy and Chad...you have opened Pandora's Box...and NOBODY is safe.

It's pretty simple, Rudy. I'm here to do what I want...when I want... to who I want. We all know that GUNS doesn't play well with others, and he doesn't walk around on anybody's leash. We all know that GUNS thinks the CSWA championships are barely worth their weight in a certain bodily fluid...so I'm not here for titles. I'm not here to see my name in lights. I'm here for two reasons. To stir the drink and kick [BLEEP].

Any of you young pups in the locker room want to make a name for themselves at a legend's expense? Here I am...rock me like a hurricane. Give it your best shot, and you'll come up short. Any of you so-called "legends" want to try to settle an old score with the Strongest Arms in the World? Come on down.

Chad...you called down the thunder and now you're probably going to regret it. (Smiles.) But, look on the bright side, we've always made money together. So, stay out of my way and don't take it personally when I rip this company apart brick by brick until there's only one man standing...GUNS.

SEITZER: Well, there you have it, folks...GUNS is back, and even though he teamed with Eddy Love tonight, he's made it pretty clear that he's only on one side...HIS OWN.

 

[TWhitefield]

Everything Old Is...

Fade in to the den of Tom Adler's Toronto estate. We see Adler sitting at a desk mulling over some paperwork when he reaches over and grabs a remote and starts flipping through the channels. He pauses as he comes arcoss a CSWA Anniversary A2K1 rebroadcast. Just as he's about to hit the power button, GUNS comes on the screen and issues his comments. Adler sits back, watches... and begins to smile.

You know, GUNS, believe it or not, I'm actually glad to see ya. I'm probably the only one on earth other than yourself who is. But, standing out in the crowd isn't exactly anything new to either one of us, is it?

Oh, don't worry, I'm not chiming in to get on your case. Just the opposite, truth be told. Because the fact of the matter is, GUNS, that whether you and I have been on the same side... (a small overlay of a newspaper headline saying "GUNS and Adler Defeat America's Team!" flashes across the screen) ...or on opposite sides... (an overly with "Adler and GUNS Battle It Out Over The EN World Championship!" flashes across the screen) ... you and I just seem to bring out the best in each other, don't we?

Am I surprised to see ya? Truthfully, no, not really. While I realize a day can't go by without your name popping up in a broadcast sound track somewhere, your name has been popping up even more than usual lately. Never rely on the boys in the booth to keep a secret.

At any rate, welcome back. I'm sure you'll make things.... interresting.

Adler leans back, pops a stick of gum in his mouth and smiles as the screen fades to black

 

[MysteryMan]

Third Row, Inc.

(FADEIN: GUNS is sitting in front of the fireplace in his ranch in San Antonio, Texas.)

GUNS: Well, it's good to see that at least one old friend is giving me a nice warm welcome. Tom, I tell you, it warms the bottom of my heart to know that you're glad to see me back here. (Smiles.) Will it stay that way? Hard to say. Frankly, Tom, I have no idea what you're up to here...don't know who your friends are...don't know who your enemies are...don't know why you last to some guy I've never heard of whose name sounds like a rejected title to a bad horror/suspense film. Wicked Sight? I think I saw that film on Skinemax late the other night...is that the one where Shannon Tweed sleeps with some guy who tries to kill her?

In any event, Tom...maybe our paths will cross sooner...maybe they'll cross later. The only certainty is that they will cross. For one thing, they always have...for another thing, you're here. Like our pal Hornet likes to say, it's nothing personal. (Smiles.) I'm an equal opportunity offender, and everybody who gets a paycheck with the letters "CSWA" stamped on it is fair game. I know what you're thinking out there in TV Land...GUNS has sold out to the man... GUNS is a hypocrite...GUNS is a card carrying CSWA corporate stooge (Grins as he holds up his paycheck, and then tosses it into the fire.)

My hypocrisy goes only so far, gentlemen. I'm not here to be a CSWA employee...the only corporation I'm loyal to is THIRD ROW, INC., and you're looking at the CEO. I'm not here for money...I've got enough. I'm not here for titles...we all know what I think of their worth around here. I'm not here to see my name in lights or to get one more pop from the crowd...because I know that every single wrestling fan out there will NEVER forget who I am or what I've done in this sport. Wicked Sight? (Shakes head.) A year from now...will anybody besides his own mother be able to pick him out from a police lineup? Doubtful.

No, I'm here for two reasons...to stir the drink and kick butt. That simple. Pandora's Box has been opened...the thunder has been called down...and NOBODY is safe. (Grins.) Not even old friends. Like I said before, I don't discriminate on age, race, color, creed, or whether or not I know your name...I'm going to tear this place apart brick by brick until there's only one man standing.

Mike Randalls and Mark Windham...that was just the beginning. Sooner or later, everybody will get their turn...Third Row, Inc. aims to please, and sooner or later...EVERYBODY will get their chance... to become a souvenir for some lucky fan. Even you, Tom.

So, I appreciate the welcome wagon...and anytime you want to knock on my door to borrow some brown sugar, feel free...but I think you and I both know that I didn't come back here to play nice. So, let's cut through the pleasantries and get down to brass tacks. You can be first...you can be last...you can be somewhere in between. It really doesn't matter to me...it's all a function of how adept you are at staying out of my way. I'm not here to hunt you, Tom...so I would think twice before trying to hunt me. (Pauses.)

Oh, and Tom...have a nice day.

(FADEOUT)