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Illinois Riptide 3


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
In a van down by the river
(FADEOUT to commercial)

(Back from commercial. Lady V is about to enter a locker room)
LADY VERONICA: "Wrestling fans, we're back here on Riptide and I'm about to try and find out if Minion is Jarod Poe's stalker."

(Lady V enters the locker room and Anarky, Michael Manson, Jonathan Marx and Bueno Excellente are shown playing UNO)

ANARKY: (slamming a card down) "Draw Four you bastard!"

MICHAEL MANSON: (looking over at Lady V) "Hey, what's she doing here."

JONATHAN MARX: "Probably trying to get an entertaining interview for once instead of listening to Rabesque whine and Maelstrom ramble on for hours."

BUENO EXCELLENTE: (staring at Lady V) "Muy buena chiquita."

LADY V: "No, I don't want an interview with you guys, I want to talk to Minion, where is he?"

MANSON: "In there."

(Manson points over to a custodian closet. Lady V walks over, opens the door, and it's very dark. There is a candle lit and Minion is sitting on a bucket holding a picture of Poe up to the light and mumbling to himself. He then stares at Lady V and yells)

MINION: "What do you want??"

LADY V: "I want to know why you attacked Jarod Poe and I want to know if you are his stalker!"

MINION: (standing up) "Why did I attack him? Because I can, silly girl. Am I his stalker? Stalker is a strong word, I prefer admirer, but I stopped admiring him when he lost his jewel. Now he must be punished. But first..."

(Minion grabs Lady V and plants a kiss on her lips. She breaks free, screams out and rushes out of the locker room, as Manson, Marx, Anarky and Excellente laugh.)

(CUTTO: Tony, Rick, and Jake at the announce booth)

TONY ROSS: “What a truly..... bizarre situation going on there with Minion and Jarod Poe. It’s not going to be long until that one really comes to a head.”

RICK WISEMAN: “No kidding Tony. I don’t care what word Minion decides to use, I definitely feel that stalker is one worth using.”

JAKE SHADES: “Nah, a man of dignity like Minion would NEVER do anything like that at all. This just Minion’s way.... of showing his admiration.”

ROSS: “If that’s the case, I would hate to see what would happen to someone he didn’t like! Right now, let’s get back up to the ring for our next match.”

(CUTTO: Matt Faley standing in the ring)

MATT FALEY: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall. (CUEUP: “Lawnmower” by Worthless United) Coming to the ring, from Whitelandia USA, weighing in at 220 lbs, THE JOBBER!!”

(The crowd erupts in boos as Jobber comes to the ring, an all business look on his face, as he confidently strolls to the ring, only occasionally showing a deceitful glance towards the crowd, he is dressed in black long tights with black boots, his hair falling behind him, CUEUP: “Wicker Man” by Iron Maiden)

FALEY: “And his opponent, from Seattle, Washington, weighing in at 237 lbs., NEMESIS!!!”

(The crowd erupts in cheers as Nemesis jogs towards the ring, slapping an occasional hand, but generally remaining focused, he wears a black muscle shirt and sweat pants, he hops into the ring, and stares directly at Jobber)

ROSS: “And we’re off as Nemesis goes right into Jobber, who reverses the attack into an armbar. Nice go behind by Nemesis. Jobber now whips Nemesis into the ropes and executes a nice dropkick. Nemesis bounces back up however and surprises Jobber with a clothesline.”

WISEMAN: “It’s been a night of fast starts, and this one is proving to be no exception.”

(CUTTO: A shot of Cannonball Kidd coming to the ring with a chair in his hand, Nemesis, who had control of the match, stops what he is doing, and motions towards Kidd, Kidd calmly takes the chair and sits at ringside)

ROSS: “What is he doing here?”

SHADES: “Just getting a closer look, that’s all!”

WISEMAN: “Yeah, sure, I think we’ve heard that one before!”

ROSS: “Anyways, the distraction has already made a difference, as Jobber comes behind with a roll-up, 1-2-NO! Almost a quick finish there! And now Jobber takes control of the match, just as it looked like Nemesis would take control in the early going.”

WISEMAN: “Nemesis needs to stay focused on the Jobber and not on Kidd. Jobber is tough enough as it is, especially with his recent resurgence. He didn’t become #1 contender for the TV title through luck.”

ROSS: “And Jobber has Nemesis up, SPINEBUSTER! 1-2-NO! And Jobber is staying on the attack. He has him up again, and Hot Shots Nemesis across the top rope, right into a heel kick to the face. Another cover, 1-2-NO!”

WISEMAN: “Jobber has definitely capitalized on Nemesis’ lack of focus here. And even after he gets to his feet, Nemesis is still distracted by Kidd.”

SHADES: “Kidd is doing NOTHING wrong. What’s wrong with trying to get a little advance scouting?”

ROSS: “Nothing if that’s all it stays to. Jobber charges Nemesis but Nemesis catches him with an elbow, and now Kidd is getting out of his chair and coming towards Nemesis. Nemesis is again distracted, and Jobber capitalizes with another dropkick.”

WISEMAN: “Nemesis is really letting Kidd get to him.”

ROSS: “Jobber up now, with a piledriver to Nemesis! 1-2-and again almost another three count. Jobber now clamps on a sleeper hold. Nemesis is waning but now the crowd is starting to get behind him.”

SHADES: “Does anybody really believe this stuff anymore.”

ROSS: “The crowd is chanting Nemesis on as he gets to his feet. Knee to the stomach of Jobber, into the ropes, leapfrog, FLYING CROSSBODY BY NEMESIS! 1-2-NO! Nemesis is back up, dropkick, and he goes to the top rope, MOONSAULT!”

WISEMAN: “And Kidd is again involving himself!”

ROSS: “Kidd has gotten up on the ring apron! And now Nemesis is going over to him, look at the referee trying to break this up!”

SHADES: “Not this is getting good!”

WISEMAN: “What’s he doing here??”

ROSS: “Joe Clarke is in the ring!! The Man of Action is behind Nemesis!!! And now he taps him on the shoulder, CHOKE SLAM TO NEMESIS BY JOE CLARKE!!”

WISEMAN: “And the referee conveniently saw none of it!”

SHADES: “This is FINALLY getting good!”

ROSS: “Clarke jumps out of the ring, as Cannonball Kidd retreats to the floor. And now Jobber is getting to his feet. He also saw none of this, but sees Nemesis writhing on the canvas. Jobber picks up the lifeless Nemesis, TIGER DRIVER!! A Tiger Driver on top of a Choke Slam! 1-2-3!!! Jobber wins it.”

WISEMAN: “You can thank Kidd and Clarke for that one!”

FALEY: “Here is your winner, THE JOBBER!”

(CUEUP: “Lawnmower” by Worthless United, The Jobber has his hand raises and promptly walks to the back, Cannonball Kidd smiles as he casually backpedals up the aisle, just then, Joe Clarke enters the ring to take care of Nemesis, but he is stopped by Kidd, who runs back into the ring)

ROSS: “And at least Kidd is doing something honorable now.”

(CUTTO: Just as Nemesis gets up, Kidd nails him with a roundhouse kick, sending Nemesis back to the mat, Kidd then heads back up the aisle, Clarke in tow)

ROSS: “Or maybe not!”

(Nemesis looks up stunned as Cannonball Kid backpedals up the ramp. Nemesis calls for a mic.)

NEMESIS: Kidd... this is getting a little old. You've been nothing but a thorn in my side since you arrived in the GLCW, and now that's going to have to stop. Your obsession with beating me because I beat you twice has to end. So right now, I'm challenging you to a match at the next PPV to put this all behind us. And I want to make it a lumberjack match! I am sick and tired of the screwjobs and now... you're gonna feel... the... WRATH!

(The crowd goes nuts as Cannonball Kidd just smiles as he treads up the ramp, and backstage. Nemesis throws the mic down, and points to the roaring crowd as he ducks under the top rope, and walks up the ramp as well.)

(CUT-TO: The loading area. An ambulance with lights flashing, but no siren arrives and backs into a parking space. Two EMT's emerge from the drivers and passengers side door and go to the back and open the door. The crowd erupts in BOOS after seeing that its "STUPENDOUS" Stephen Morgan lying on a gurney. His nose is bandages from the "attack", and he's dressed in a hospital gown. The GLCW TV Title is strapped around his waist. As the "EMT'S" unload Morgan he grimaces in pain...)

(Fade to commercial)

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