SouthernBoy
League Member
{{...FADE-IN: SHANE SOUTHERN is sitting on his Bourbon Street balcony. In front of him, on the table is a glass of tea. Southern picks a lemon out, begins to pull the seeds out of it and toss them over the side. When he's done, he squeezes the lemon into the tea, stirs it, and takes a sip...}}
SHANE SOUTHERN: "Ahhhh...refreshing. {{...grins...}} Just like you Craig. A refreshing change from all tha' serious, gloom and doomers 'round here like Trip, Flair, n' Aho. I can always count on YOU mah' friend ta' give ol' Shane Southern quite ah' laugh. Square dancin' {{...nods his head and smiles...}} Now THAT'S original. In fact, with all tha' rhymin' n' stuff...I was gonna' nominate that little piece for promo of tha' WEEK. Yeah, it was THAT good mah' man. Hats off ta' ya'....but then I saw tha' spot on Troy, n' I 'bout fell out man. You musta' stole writers from Letterman or somethin'...'cause that stuff was classic. " {{...smiles...}}
" It's really what I've come ta' EXPECT from you Craig. I mean, if ya' can't BEAT 'em...make FUN of 'em. Right? Is THAT you're logic here? See I'm just tryin' ta' figure out WHY a man who just got his ass handed ta' him onna' southern platter, would come out in fronta' tha' WORLD n' beg for MORE. Let's face it Craig, I told ya' this before our last match...you ain't got tha' SKILLS anymore ta' beat me. Yer hangin' 'round 'cause yer smart, yer witty, and ya' gotta' decent PARTNER...otherwise, you'd be 'roundin' out tha' mid card with yer buddy Shamone. But hey, don't take MAH' word for it huh? [..BLEEP..] it, I don't expect ya' to anyway. See Craig, tha' PROBLEM lies in tha' fact, that just 'cause you can make people laugh, it don't make you ah' GOOD wrestler...n' unless you can make me laugh once we step into tha' ring at BEE-OH-BEE, then it don't look good fer you. "
" I don't know what else ta' say ta' you Craig. I ain't like you, I'm not gonna' throw out insult after witty insult, 'cause that just ain't me. I'm not like Troy. I'm not gonna' come out here n' talk about a movie career, or how much I mean to tha' CSWA. I'm NOT Eddy Mayfield. I'm not gonna' come out here n' tell tha' world for tha HUNDREDTH time that I wrestled a good match against Evan Aho...'cause EYE beat Evan Aho. I'm NOT Tom Adler. I'm not gonna' justify tha' fact that I SUCK n' can't beat any top contenders, by sayin' that I don't need ta' prove mah'self. I'm NOT Deacon. Mah' faith is private, n' I PRACTICE what I preach. I'm NOT Lawrence Stanley. I don't run around wonderin' what MIGHT have been. I'm NOT Guns. I don't latch on as tha' straight man to a two man comedy act...n' ride tha' heat wave to tha' top. "
" I'm SHANE SOUTHERN. I'm tha' man that's gonna' show ALL of YOU what bein' tha' best in tha' BIZ truly means. It means you ain't gotta' be tha' best talker, you ain't gonna' be tha' BEST mat technician, you ain't gotta' be tha' fastest, tha' smartest, or tha' strongest. All you gotta' DO, Craig Miles, is win more than anybody else. THAT makes you tha' best, n' quite frankly, THAT'S who Shane Southern IS. "
" I'll see YOU at BEE-OH-BEE. "
" Party's Over. "
{{...FADE OUT as Shane toasts the camera...}}
SHANE SOUTHERN: "Ahhhh...refreshing. {{...grins...}} Just like you Craig. A refreshing change from all tha' serious, gloom and doomers 'round here like Trip, Flair, n' Aho. I can always count on YOU mah' friend ta' give ol' Shane Southern quite ah' laugh. Square dancin' {{...nods his head and smiles...}} Now THAT'S original. In fact, with all tha' rhymin' n' stuff...I was gonna' nominate that little piece for promo of tha' WEEK. Yeah, it was THAT good mah' man. Hats off ta' ya'....but then I saw tha' spot on Troy, n' I 'bout fell out man. You musta' stole writers from Letterman or somethin'...'cause that stuff was classic. " {{...smiles...}}
" It's really what I've come ta' EXPECT from you Craig. I mean, if ya' can't BEAT 'em...make FUN of 'em. Right? Is THAT you're logic here? See I'm just tryin' ta' figure out WHY a man who just got his ass handed ta' him onna' southern platter, would come out in fronta' tha' WORLD n' beg for MORE. Let's face it Craig, I told ya' this before our last match...you ain't got tha' SKILLS anymore ta' beat me. Yer hangin' 'round 'cause yer smart, yer witty, and ya' gotta' decent PARTNER...otherwise, you'd be 'roundin' out tha' mid card with yer buddy Shamone. But hey, don't take MAH' word for it huh? [..BLEEP..] it, I don't expect ya' to anyway. See Craig, tha' PROBLEM lies in tha' fact, that just 'cause you can make people laugh, it don't make you ah' GOOD wrestler...n' unless you can make me laugh once we step into tha' ring at BEE-OH-BEE, then it don't look good fer you. "
" I don't know what else ta' say ta' you Craig. I ain't like you, I'm not gonna' throw out insult after witty insult, 'cause that just ain't me. I'm not like Troy. I'm not gonna' come out here n' talk about a movie career, or how much I mean to tha' CSWA. I'm NOT Eddy Mayfield. I'm not gonna' come out here n' tell tha' world for tha HUNDREDTH time that I wrestled a good match against Evan Aho...'cause EYE beat Evan Aho. I'm NOT Tom Adler. I'm not gonna' justify tha' fact that I SUCK n' can't beat any top contenders, by sayin' that I don't need ta' prove mah'self. I'm NOT Deacon. Mah' faith is private, n' I PRACTICE what I preach. I'm NOT Lawrence Stanley. I don't run around wonderin' what MIGHT have been. I'm NOT Guns. I don't latch on as tha' straight man to a two man comedy act...n' ride tha' heat wave to tha' top. "
" I'm SHANE SOUTHERN. I'm tha' man that's gonna' show ALL of YOU what bein' tha' best in tha' BIZ truly means. It means you ain't gotta' be tha' best talker, you ain't gonna' be tha' BEST mat technician, you ain't gotta' be tha' fastest, tha' smartest, or tha' strongest. All you gotta' DO, Craig Miles, is win more than anybody else. THAT makes you tha' best, n' quite frankly, THAT'S who Shane Southern IS. "
" I'll see YOU at BEE-OH-BEE. "
" Party's Over. "
{{...FADE OUT as Shane toasts the camera...}}