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Ivy Was Always The Better Side


the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Jan 1, 2000
Greensboro USA
(FADEIN: Joey Melton in front of an NFW backdrop.)

MELTON: There’s not much you can do with someone who relishes the beating, is there Eli? You’ve become the Hugh Grant of wrestling. In every interview dangling the retirement carrot -- that you just might walk away from it all. How many years ago did you first say it?

It’s a convenient out to pay for a one-way ticket to an NFW season. As far as farewells go, you won’t miss a goodbye. Hell, Flair we’re about to do our SECOND DVD commentary for our last encounter, courtesy of the “BEST OF” the first half of Season 2 release. A re-release because the first time our epic was boxed and sold it made millions. Oh there were other players sent with us. There’s always filler. But let’s make no mistake, and I doubt either of us has, you and I stole the season. Can we think of anything to say next week when we sit in a booth and shoot? Did we miss an angle the first time?

You see Eli, that’s the thing about NFW and goodbyes. They overcook themselves and become dry.

You’ve gotten more out of this business than anyone I can remember. I’d tip my hat but it’d make the irony of having to “end” your career bittersweet. Maybe this would be the perfect bookmark to your career. A bedtime story you can tell your kid as you’re feeding her a bowl of grease and nails.

“How Eli Flair Went Out On Top.”

But it won’t happen. For a guy like you, the glory is in getting here. You’ve never been anything but a champion of circumstance and chance. ****. Enough of that. I’m the old man here but it’s you and Adler raging on about politics ten years past. You’re supposed to save the stories for AFTER you retire Flair, not during the final quarter mile.

Nobody here gives a **** that you held a World Title of a company that’s been defunk for a year. Or that you still cry when Ivy shows her famous slide show of the first Parsons Cruise Liner tour. I was there. I ****ing remember. Every day I use my VISA check card, Flair, I ****ing remember…but excuse me if I’m not selling stock in a ship that’s long since sailed by….maybe I was just too busy being told I wasn’t “new.” Too busy being told I didn’t “sell” despite apparent evidence to the contrary.

I built the streets that were later paved with gold and for nearly twenty years Eli, I’ve been asked to put more people over than Vegas. I make careers. But I want the ultimate vindication for mine. I’m not the man who made Cameron Cruise a winner. I’m not some bar room, or backstage discussion. I’m a genius Flair. And maybe it’s my cross to bear that I said “**** you” to the first person who asked me to go through a table, or that I dicked over more people in this business than I haven’t. I’ve never been a yes-man or a politician. I’ve only been in business for myself. So you see, I’m pretty self-aware that I made my own bed. That I haven’t fronted a company as much as I should’ve. That I was never THE World Champion when the money was filling open graves.

But I’m here Flair. Twenty years later I’m a bigger ****ing name than the fools who were afraid of a serious Melton run.

The ULTRATITLE was mine. I won the first. It’s not the first major championship I created. But, it’s the one that’s still standing.

I’ve invested my glory years and some lost pride to get it back. And make no mistake I will.

You will retire Flair, and be missed.

I’ll walk when the industry lets me. When it doesn’t need me to hold the crutches anymore. That’s the thing about a legacy Eli. It’s not how many times you can tell your own story, but how often people tell yours.

I’ll see you next week, and in Wyoming I’d bet. When it's just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people in the dark.


User Poets

The Shadow Pope
Jan 6, 1995
Top of the Pile
Cynically, Joey?

Cynically, I've been talking about leaving the sport and not coming back for just under two years. But let's call a spade a spade about this whole retirement business. Since April of 2005, I've said that my career will end when my involvement in NFW Season 2 ended.

You talk about dangling a carrot, but that's always been the stop sign.

Two more shows, Joey. Maybe one, if someone gets lucky. It ain't overcookin' the bacon t'say I'm leaving the sport after 2.0 ends if 2.0 hasn't ended yet.

No, Joey... nobody gives a flying f'k about anything that's happened outside 2.0 - except for me. It's immaterial except for the fact that it gives me perspective. This happened, so this happened, so this happened. A to B to C. You should know, Joey... you were there when the invented the alphabet.

No, that's a cheap joke, Joey, and I'm better than that. You're what, early forties? Wrestlers in their early twenties, late twenties, early thirties, and late thirties would all sell their souls to have your skills, regardless of age.

But you're right, the glory is getting here. You weren't the yes - man or the company - man, so we have something in common, but the differences end in the fact that you were the man who had promotions on his shoulders. You were the man who put the ULTRATITLE on the map by being its first champion.

I've never had that, so yes, the glory is in gettin' here.

Same ol' song and dance, Joey. I win, I end my career with the ULTRATITLE, which was essentially where I started my career. I lose... I lose. I walk away and start my life after wrestling.

Yes, I said the forbidden words. LIFE WITHOUT WRESTLING. Ivy might be the better side, but considering her current physical state I can almost guarantee she's thinkin' the same.

You'll leave when they make y'leave, Joey? Knowing you 'n your skills, and your stubbornness, you'll leave when you're permanently crippled.

Is that what you wanna leave behind?

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