[FADE IN- and DUCK!!! Mr Entertainment is throwing things!! GAH!! That was close! The room is a total mess, tables overturned, chairs tossed to one side, and cushions with stuffing dripping out of them]
ME: SONOFAMOTHER!! HOW THE HELL DID THAT PIECE OF CRAP BEAT ME? SONOFAMOTHER!!
[He carries on with his tantrum… before turning slowly to the camera? His shoulders are moving up and down, and we can hear something akin to laughter coming from the Entertainer. He turns to face the camera, a huge, broad grin on his face]
ME: FOOLED YA!! Ya honestly thought I was throwing a tantrum there? P-lease. Ya thought I was serious when I said I wasn’t gonna increase the drama an’ tension here in TEAM? Pu-lease. Honestly, ya think the Retired One coulda beaten me if I’d gone all out? I knew I’d gotten under his skin. I knew the fans were inta the match. I knew that New ERA was in the meet of the week before the bell even rang. As soon as MWG got the fall, I knew what I had ta do - I knew that ta increase the viewer figures, ta make sure it was seen as a real match between New ERA and the Penguin Watchers, someone had ta take the fall, ta make the tag match more of an EVENT! Who would win at one match apiece?
What? Ya think I’m kiddin’? Ya’ll probably think I was throwin’ a tantrum right now, right? Here, let me take a sec - here’s where we’re gonna cut in what happened before the opening of this here spot. Roll playback!
[A small screen appears in the bottom corner, showing Mr Entertainment meticulously setting out the room to look like it’s been trashed - carefully laying the table over, rotating it to the right angle. He even takes a knife to the cushions, before picking one up, and walking over to where the shot began. He nods at the camera, and the tantrum starts! And what a tantrum it is, right up until he laughs]
ME: See? It’s called ACTING. It’s what I have ta do ta make sure people think that my opponents have a chance against me. Scooby Doo knew that he couldn’t’ve beaten me cleanly if I hadn’t let him. But, he finally got a great payday, and from what I’ve heard, he’s retired. He’ll say it’s fer family, but really, he knows he ain’t gonna have any better matches. He’s goin’ out on TOP.
Somewhere the people that Zcrew Weasels are NEVER gonna be.
And no, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the Brain.
[He moves towards one of the upturned chairs, setting it right, and sitting down]
ME: Yeah, I just made a bestiality joke. But come on! Wolf Zcrews Weasels sounds so much better than whatever the acronym actually stands fer. You’ve got a homeless guy and a mute goin’ up against one of the best that New ERA has ta offer, an’ the craziest, toughest sonofagun in the whole scene, an’ they think they have a chance?
Yeah, right.
Ya see, Wolfie an’ Mute - Chaos is without a doubt the sickest guy I’ve met in wrestling. Here’s a guy who will quite happily tear your head from yer shoulders, show you where yer head was, then rip yer eyes out and shove them up yer nostrils. Did you see what he did ta Trevor Abel, Texas Carter, or John Female Deer? An’ those were him on a GOOD day. There ain’t anyone on my team this week I’d rather had my back than him.
Except for one guy… ME.
Mister Entertainment.
The man that brings the razamanaz all night. I have no qualm’s abou’ giving the fans a show - make sure they go home happy. After all, I’ve got a rep to keep, and New ERA has a rep ta keep. It’ll be pretty sad if I go from giving Rex Calibre a match ta retire on one week, ta wipin’ the floor with the two of ya the next. It’ll look bad on TEAM and New ERA if we sweep ya without some kind of struggle. We all know that you two, Iced Tea an’ Titanic haven’t got a chance in hell, but gosh darn it - we need the fans ta be happy! If getting hit by a few of yer moves will do that, than that’s what I’ll do.
I’ll let ya’ll hit me a few times. I’ll make ya’ll look good. I’ll let Knock Out Gas get the hot tag in an’ clean house on yer sorry asses - but at the end of the day, New ERA has the chance ta go straight to the next round this week. As much as I’m sure everyone’s salivatin’ at the prospect of EPW an’ New ERA squaring off ta see who places first and second, it’s just about time ta put the whole shebang ta bed. There’s only one team in TEAM that’s got what it takes ta go all the way. There’s only ONE team that has someone who wrestled in the semi finals of the TEAM Invitational. An’ there’s only one team that’s got ME
Mister Entertainment
ta spice things up. Whatever you two gotta say, say it, be done with it, an’ show up.
Because I swear, if they cart Black Scorpion out again because you two missed yer flights, I’ll set MWG an’ Beau Michaels on ya, and that’ll be a reality check you just… won’t… like.
[He shudders visibly]
ME: Now I gotta go shower - yeuch… I just quoted Cameron Cruise…
[He turns and starts to leave through the wreckage. FADE OUT]
