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Pressure Chief
Jan 1, 2000
(Saturday, 10:36 am. FADE IN: ESEN UNIVERSAL Headquarters, 420 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York, 'NFW ROOM'.

The area looks the same as before--same draperies, framed, over - lit framed black and white images of NEW FRONTIER WRESTLING Champions in celebration on the nights of capturing the title, in some of the earliest images of BLOODHUNT, SHANE SOUTHERN and all, they are holding the original NFW 'diamonds and white gold' belt, in later images after the desecration of the vacated belt after JOE THE PLUMBER, Champions such as CASTOR V. STRIFE, IMPULSE and a new image of JACK HARMEN hoist up the quote-unquote "EDDIE MAYFIELD FRANKLIN MINT COMMEMORATIVE" championship belt, which is twice the size of the original, the main plate the size and color of a Wimbledon championship plate, the NFW call letters and a huge beveled profile image of President MAYFIELD’S smirking face, with an ever present cigarette hanging from his lip, circled by laurels.

The interview podium framed by two ferns once again is looked over by that huge gaudy oil painting of ESEN UNIVERSAL and NFW owner, CRAIG MILES (in absentia). To the back of the room is a catering spread, with plenty of food left on it, and a full and happy press corps, a few guys in the front row wearing crisp suits and tapping their feet, enjoying their full plates on their laps. The back row of seats are empty, usually reserved for the Dirt Sheet Writers and invited bloggers. After a few moments, that same shaky, tiny intern, (affectionately nicknamed 'The Mintern' approaches the podium, wearing all black again, dark jeans tucked into oxblood knee-high boots, rusty red pashmina scarf layered around and down her ample front. She nervously places on the podium a large coffee and a thick folder.)

INTERN: "Hello everyone and welcome to this New Frontier Wrestling press conference. My name is Shoshana Cohen, Senior Intern and Assistant to Fiona Love, who unfortunately was not available today but asked me to speak in her place... uhm... Soooo..."

(suddenly a BANG is heard in the back of the room, and a squadron of NECKBEARDS rush in, griping about the time and loudly taking their seats, pointing over at the buffet, just out of their reach! The on-time reporters laugh to themselves, a few with mouths full of food!)

COHEN: (after giving a chilly glare to the back row) "In any rate, we will follow our usual protocol, in as president Mayfield will not be taking questions, but I will be available, along with the junior interns to answer anything and to give out press credentials and junkets for the upcoming RANDOM RUMBLE PAY-PER-VIEW. (excited mumbling) Please welcome to the stage, NFW PRESIDENT DENNIS EDWARD MAYFIELD!" (murmurs and photo bulbs flash as MAYFIELD walks up and looks down at COHEN and makes the "meh" shaky-hand gesture, which makes COHEN flush red with embarrassment and she rushes off the stage, blinking quickly! MAYFIELD is wearing a Navy suit with shiny chocolate wingtips, a pink tie, matching pocket square and a small Cancer Ribbon pinned to his lapel, and 28% gradient Alpina shades. He places both hands on the podium and feels around for the coffee, and starts tipping it back, nodding at the room and smoothing down his beard with his free hand.)

MAYFIELD: "Lot of stuff to get to, so thanks for coming out, I'm just going to get to it. First, I have to say, I’m not a ratings mark by any means--that’s for Fiona and the gang behind the scenes, but the returns for RELOADED19 came in and it won’t be cocky to say that BUSINESS IS LOOKING UP. So in that sense - our BRAWL tour, ‘Brute 66’, which is currently rolling along towards Oklahoma City, and then a special Thanksgiving episode one of the interns brilliantly named ‘BRAWLSGIVING’, will air at the BOK Center, leading us into December, and CHICAGO. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THERE. (Sips his coffee, some shifting and excited murmurs in the audience).

But beyond that, I have some special match sanctions to talk about at the upcoming RELOADED EX-EX, or twenty, if you’re the type that hates saying ‘grande’ and ‘venti’ in Starbucks (laughs). I am proud to let my constituents know that I have booked for the DOUBLE MAIN EVENT of Reloaded XX, The brand-New Frontier Wrestling (see what I did there) World Champion JACK HARMEN will be facing another one of PRESIDENT MAYFIELD’S EXECUTIVE DECISIONS, but to keep things interesting, I’m going to keep Jack Harmen, Cal Carlton AND this other camp in the dark up until the show, but will give out some breadcrumbs.”

“At RELOADED XX, Jack Harmen will be putting the World Title up against one member of THE HELLFIRE CLUB. (Crowd explodes into chatter and flashbulbs! EDDIE takes the moment to wince and take another swig of coffee) That’s right. I have also booked a HOLLYWOOD’S ON FIRE segment and have put Lamont on notice to get ALL THREE of those guys on his stage and I will reveal who will face Harmen at the end of the night, as well as get some other stuff off my chest to them. I know Jack won’t disappoint, as he is the world champion and represents this company and I expect nothing but PROFESSIONALISM from him. (smirks) He dropped a HUGE bomb on the world at the end of RELOADED 19, and (covers his cancer awareness ribbon with a hand) my heart is heavy for him, but he has continued to soldier on, and I am not going to take it easy on Jack - he’s a fighting champion. This is something that NFW NEEDS TO SEE, so I know I’ll be glued to my backstage monitor.

“And the bottom half of this main event - as we’ve seen collateral damage, emotional AND physical - this is coming to a head fast and far be it from me to NOT love to see people beat the tar out of each other - The Verizon Center in Washington DC will also see Former NFW World Champion and ULTRATITLE Champion, CASTOR V. STRIFE against CASTOR (laughs) V. STRYFE WITH A ‘Y’ INSIDE THE STEEL CAGE! No Escapes - pinfall and submission and to a positive finish. (LOUDNESS!) That’s right - I could just end Reloaded XX right there and it’s PPV-worthy, but that’s just the glittery glass on the road to Random Rumble and there WILL be an undercard here. Because at our next conference after RELOADED XX, I will officially announce the 30 SEEDS for the Rumble! But I am bucking tradition as that night, the winner will NOT receive a title shot for the world champion like in the past - but the winner of the match will be awarded a GOLDEN TICKET TO THE MAIN EVENT, at next quarters pay-per-view. . . NFW FUTURESHOCK.(The crowd jumps up and starts yelling for questions! MINTERN runs out and tries to shush the crowd but they just yell right over her tinyness! MAYFIELD ignores the scrum in the seats and instead flips through his folder quietly)

MAYFIELD: “Are you guys done yet? Because if you shut up, I’ll give you the MAIN EVENT of Random Rumble… (The reporter corps look at each other with wide eyes, then all drop in their seats like they’re playing a game of musical chairs!) ok. . . you saw what went down two days ago at RELOADED 19, and I gotta say I’m DEFINITELY interested, and this is the BIGGEST STAGE THERE IS, as New Frontier Wrestling returns to Pay-Per-View, and the MAIN EVENT of RANDOM RUMBLE. . . If he can make it there. . . NFW WORLD CHAMPION JACK HARMEN DEFENDS AGAINST ‘BIRMINGHAM STALLION’ JACK BRYANT. (double-explosion! CUTTO: The NECKBEARD NEST writing flames into spiral notebooks, one guy pinching and poking at an Ipad!) Jack Bryant has made it known that he’s coming for Jack Harmen’s head. Harmen has NO cakewalk to Random Rumble. Add Calvin Carlton into this soup - (laughs and shakes his head) WOW. Just… WOW. My assistants will get you started on any more notes you’ll need, and as time goes by we’ll release further card notes for the BRAWLS and the rest of RELOADED XX but for now, that’s my time. Thanks you guys. Save my buddies’ in the back some vegetables off the catering table - you can see they don’t get much nutrition.”

(FADEOUT as MAYFIELD turns on his heel and rolls out of the room, flanked by SECRET SERVICE)
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