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OUT of the desert


League Member
Feb 5, 2004
South Carolina
(The silhouette of a hooded figure with arms crossed and back to the camera against a dark background. A monotone voice begins speaking as the camera slowly moves towards the figure.)

VOICE: Me against the world….. isn’t that always the*WAY* it ends up. My misery, my loneliness, the darkness in my heart and I stand alone. Some have tried to follow my *PATH*, but in the end I always walk alone. No one can know my pain, no one can know my rage, they can only feel my wrath, for I walk the chosen *PATH* alone….

(The camera continues in and a dim light reveals that the hood over the figure is red with a large wolf’s head on the back)

I’ve tried to walk with Hornet, but as bitter as the man is, he still has a sex drive and with sex comes pleasure. No man who still has delight in their life can walk the *PATH*. So Hornet is much too happy to understand the *WAY*

I thought the soul of Eli Flair had grown dark enough not to dare shed any brightness on my own, but it turns out Flair still cared, about what????? Does it really matter???? Whether it’s about his career, himself, his dead wife, his place in history or all of the above….. once I realized he cared then I knew his life was too bright to be lived next to my own. He would shed life into the dark closet in which I have lived.

And other than the unequaled act of driving a stake into a man’s knee, has their ever been a victory. Has Eddy Love ever beaten anyone???? Who did the ’72 Dolphins beat???? Or the Yankees???? Or Ali….. Who have they beaten, and whatever small victory they claimed over whatever minuscule opponent, how can they pretend it to be a greater task than me climbing my miserable ass out of the bed every morning knowing that the next night I will struggle to sleep, for my depression will eat at my rest….. and that is the great victory, and no alcoholic, no junkie no Carolina Panther’s fan will ever know more misery than my tomorrow morning.

(The Camera brighten now and begins to slowly move around to the front of the figure.)

But there is some hope finally that I can live one morning without this greatest of all victories, my getting out of the bed in depression. Eddy Love himself, has spread some hope that some day the *PATH* can finally lead me out of the darkest of closets…. Eddy Love put me in a situation that has led me to know that the reason no one in the business but me could follow those tough forks in the *PATH*…..

(The camera reaches the front revealing a dummy that resembles Mike Randalls in the face, wearing a sun dress and hair done in pig tails.)

It is easy for me because The Wolf goes both *WAYS*…..

(Eddy Love comes out wearing a bright orange do-rag, doubling over in laughter, and putting his arm around the mannequin.)

LOVE: The Wolf goes both ways…….I kill me. Randy Michaels as tempted as I am to come out here and tell the world just how miserable you are, your voice always tells it better than I can.

I will no longer spend the fans time arguing with you about whether the fact that I refuse to be a dark soul because this business works my ass off while making me millions makes me less of a man. I will not dispute why my making your dreams of wearing a dress on TV come true is a two bit comic relief spot, but your noble gesture of shaving my head is some golden chapter of the great classic tragedy that is your life.

Your act wears thin, Randy. I mean can even your most ardent fans really muster up sympathy for you in these days. While families are torn apart due to death and war….. while postal workers rot in hospitals for doing their job…. We are all supposed to break into tears for Randy Michaels because promoters made him work long hours and he couldn’t pay his psychiatric bill with the meager high six figure salaries.

I don’t care that you are upset with the other two jackasses…… I don’t care if they have wronged you, if your body can’t cash the checks that they write, Wolf…… or if you simply couldn’t stand the fact that companionship made the day a little easier to get through. By my side, Troy at half speed is greater than the sum of all your parts….. and in New Orleans Eddy Love will begin the process of making things right by the group formerly known as Claimstakers.

As for you Larry Stanley, myself like Troy has no problem with you, but please remember to save all autograph requests for after the match. Call yourselves friends, call yourself the triumvirate, we, or the Claimstakers, it doesn’t matter…. Because Troy and Eddy will dominate in New Orleans, then it’s Hurricanes for Hurricane Eddy at O’Rielly’s, beautiful ladies on Bourbon Street for the Playboys, and Breakfast at Brennan’s on Eddy Love for all those who make it through the night.


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