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Playboys 1, Claimstakers 0

GreggG

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(CUT TO: Troy Windham, in the same empty arena that Hornet was in minutes before. Troy is in his typical street clothes, except for one noticeable addition... a neckbrace.)

TROY: All day long, I've been putting on our various shows on my satellite dish at me and Eddy's New Orleans townhouse. We just rent here, because we can only make it to town a few times a year, and we figured why spend the seven figures here when we can do it down in Brazil, Monte Carlo, LA, Miami or New York... no offense to New Orleans. It's been a wild week since I've been in town. Troy Windham set some personal records with some girls who were earning beads down on Bourbon Street. Like I told the ladies last night... you won't be the first, but you alllllll could be next. And they all screamed when they got with The Boy Troy because for a whoooooole lot of them, Big Daddy T wasn't next...(Troy lets out a chuckle) He *WAS* first. And, frankly, that's the way it should always be for yours truly, The Doctor of Desire, your very own Virgin Surgeon.

Now, I'm sure a lot of people are saying bad, bad things about me right now... "Why isn't Troy Windham talkin' his junk about The ClaimStakers? Why isn't he takin' this seriously? This is the biggest match of his career." Well, you know, I *AM* taking this seriously. More seriously than any of you realize... because this is more than a match. This is the latest, and perhaps last, battle in a war that has gone on for almost a year now. And just like how we, as Americans, aren't going to cave in and change our way of life because of some bearded turkey who lives in a cave... Troy Windham and Playboys, Inc. aren't going to change their ways just because our opponents need prescription-strength Viagra to know what it's like to live a little.

The three guys on the other side of the ring are doing their usual spin doctoring job, trying to say that this isn't The Playboys versus The Claimstakers anymore... because there aren't anymore Claimstakers. It seems all three have a bone to pick with the other. Eli hates Hornet because Hornet slept with a girl who I made it with when I was 15 years old... Hornet hates Eli because Flair has all the emotional maturity of your average seven year old at a summer camp. And Mikey Randalls hates them both because... well, I heard him talk, and I'm not sure that I understand why. But I think Wolfenstein's got a beef with the two aforementioned masters of backroom politics because Randalls is apparantly a master of backDOOR politics, if you're going to believe recent locker room rumors.

Yes, it seems that the three people facing me on the other side of the ring in New Orleans aren't getting along. Which gives the people wrestling with me on MY side of the ring a decided advantage going into this, despite the fact that this is virtually a handicap match.

Now, me and Ed Lover, you all know how smooth we are. A well oiled machine of two guys with great hair, hot bods and huge d(BLEEP)s. But the third dude, Lawrence Stanley... well, Lawrence, let me talk to you directly. You've been silent so far. And I think I know why. You're going to be wrestling with and against men who are far out of your league. Men who you grew up watching, if you even got TV from whatever third world nation you originally hail from. Stanley, for the first time in your career, real life people are actually going to recognize your face, because you're going to be wrestling alongside the two guys who have the biggest Q Rating this side of N Sync. So, I'm going to guess you're going to be a little intimidated, thinking that you're going to mess this up. Well, Stanley, let me give you some words of comfort and of advice... you probably *WILL* mess this up. So just wrestle in your little World Title match earlier in the evening, and keep off the apron and let The Boy Troy and The Hurricane do this Playboys style.

Because our united two is better than their divided three. Troy Windham doesn't need to do anything he's done differently his whole career. All I need to do is to just show up. Because neither Eli Flair or Hornet or Mike Randalls has *EVER* been this good and they never *WILL* be this good. Because Troy Windham isn't just good... he's the best. And that's not just at the bar or in the bedroom... that's also in the wrestling ring. Claimstakers, the next morning, you're going to regret it. Because the night before... no one in the whole known universe is going to forget it! Playboys rule! (FTB)
 

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