[updated:LAST EDITED ON Sep-06-02 AT 01:50 AM (EDT)]*Fade In...
*The Mellon Center...
*The sight of last week's X-Perience and Onslaught...
*After the main event...
(Cut the the backstage area. The show has already ended, the copyright information has been shown. We see numerous GXW wrestlers, sstagehands, and so forth in the back. Off in the distance, we see GXW Television Champion, Kin Hiroshi with a trainer getting a check up and regaining his breath after the brutal match and attack by his oponant, Hellfighter. He seems to be alright, just a little strained and winded from the match. A couple of GXW young stars stand by with him to see if he is alright. Moments later, the curtain flies open and "HellFighter" Michael Shutt walks through the backstage area. A hush falls over the crowd. All eyes are on Hellfighter as he walks back to his locker room. You see numerous glares and dirty looks comes from everyone zeroed in on Hellfighter. Through the rage in his eyes, you can see a gleam of a smile on his face. He gets to his locker room door, just before he walks inside, her sadistically turns 180% about face and looks at the crowd of GXW wrestlers still staring at him.)
HellFighter: "So...any of you bastards still have a problem with me? You still think that I suck? You still think that I'm a joke? Any of you still want you use me to push yourself to the top at my expense? Wanna make an example out of me? You have a problem with me, you know where to find me. Anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Just call my name, and I'll be there. I'm not hard to find you son of a b(beep>es. If any of you ever feels froggy to play the game with me; just ask the Commish-JP, the next big German joke Die Kriegmaschine, or the muffin man himself Kin Hiroshi. And that's just a tip of the iceburg. Anyone who wants to test me will F(beep)king lose. I will rip your lungs andd shove em up your ass.
Bye the way Muffin man...all respect aside, the kidding is done, and the laughs have ended. Anytime you wanna pick up where we left off tonight, just say the word and I will be more than glad to finish what I started...to bury your ass. If you ever want to get extreme with me...say the word Kinny...oh please say the word, and I will gladly make it your last."
(He looks over to see the stage manager with a clipboard. Hellfighter grabs him by the shirt and pulls him over to talk to him.)
HellFighter: "Hey is that the lineup for Onslaught/Revolution next week?"
Stage manager: (With fear, looks at the clipboard) "Ah yes sir."
HellFighter: "Well spill it, am I on for one of them or not?"
Stage manager: "Ah yes sir, you are slated for Onslaught against 'The Truth' Tommy Rage."
HellFighter: "Truth, what the hell does Tommy know about Truth, he don't know crap what is coming his way. I guess that I will just have to educate him." (He looks over at the cameraman holding a camera) Guess what? Promo time again, and your not invited."
(Hellfighter yanks the camera out of his hand and takes it into his locker room slamming the door behind him. Cut to inside of the locker room. Hellfighter set the camera up on a table, then takes a chair and sets it up backwards where he sits on it facing back at the camera ready to speak.)
HellFighter: "Truth? What the hell do you know about Truth? You call yourself truth, but are you really about truth, justice, and all that crap? I guess that it's all just a gimmick to you? What is a rookie like you going to know about me Tommy? You know nothing about the truth or about me. You probably heard all of the BS from everyone out there. All the jokes, all of the comments, all of the LIES that says that I am nothing but a joke and a laughing stock here in the GXW. I am wasting my time here. Wrong, you sign that contract to get in the ring with me next week in Baltimore or wherever the f(beep)k we're going to be next week, and you will be signing your life away. Your fate, your future, your life will be in my hands. Free for the taking. Makes no difference to me. Just aother lamb to MY slaughter eh? Just think, I wasn't always this way, but your peers before you and even now made all of this possible. But I'm not bitter because I like being this way. I got tired to catering to the fans that don't give a s(beep) about me, to the peers that think that I am a joke, and to the front office who will do anything to get rid of me...including Bret Hart screw job me. However I am not mad at you. If you climb in that ring with me, you will be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I will end you. This is not arrogence, this is my own personal truth that I am sharing with you Rage. Take it from someone who used to proclaim THE TRUTH for years. So if there is anybody who knows about this subject, it's me. So tommy, why are you call yourself that again? Do you even know what you're proclaiming? I will tell you what I proclaim. At Onslaught, I will show you to all of those bastards in the back and so-called fans around the world that I am not someone you wanna piss off. You wanna try me, then show up in Baltimore next week, and I will show you just how painfully honest that I can be...Tommy Rage. See you on Onlslaught...
And that's all I gotta say, and you can quote me on that...all of it."
(Hellfighter goes into his bag to take out soaps, shampoos, and so forth and starts to make his way into the shower room. Just before he goes inside, he stops himself, walks back over to the camera and turns the power off. The camera cuts out to static snow. Fade out.)
(scene opens up to a living room area. The camera sees two men sitting on two black leather coaches. They are watching a big screen television. The camera is positioned that we can’t really see the camera, but we can hear the voice of the GXW’s Hellfighter. Sitting on the coach to the left is the musclar bodyguard Token. He is wearing a black t-shirt with red writing which says, “The RIGHT NIGGA”. In the middle of the screen with his feet up on a table is the Truth Tommy Rage. Both wrestlers are laughing hysterically. )
“The Truth” Tommy Rage:
I'd like to tender my resignation to the offices of the GXW. You see when we came here it was to entertain the audiences. Make them laugh a little. But after hearing Hellfire work the mic, I've come to the conclusion that the GXW already has someone doing comedy spots.
I mean did anyone actually make it through the entire spot? That is some classic stuff. Although you don't need to hear the whole thing. Just tune in for a few seconds because it just gets repeated over and over again.
I want to apologize to the GXW offices. I came here with the best intentions. Make the promotion better, win some matches and create some excitement. But instead I wind up hearing someone babble about how I messed with the wrong nigga and now this.
No, I can’t do it. I cannot let this promotion down. I cannot let the hundreds and HUNDREDS of GXW fans down. And you know why. This tape.
(Picks up remote and we can hear the tape rewinding)
I’ve watched this tape a few times now and each time it makes me sick. Hell we even have a tote board set up to count how many times he repeats himself.
(Cut to a chalkboard with the number 15 written in white chalk)
Fifteen. That’s how many times this guy uses the word “Truth” in a three minute mic spot. Now at first I figured that had to be a mistake. I even called the GXW offices to see if I had gotten the entire mic spot, or if I got the Rodney King beating version twelve second loop. Wishful thinking. It was really Fifteen. Is this some sort of nickname Tourette syndrome? Sounds more like irritated bowl syndrome of the mouth. And please don’t get me started on the whole muffin man thing. If he does a crack back on someone as the big bad wolf next week or how he picked up the three little pigs and took them to the Motel 6, I swear I’m heading into Zieba’s office and slapping him around till he does something about the roster here. I do have to say that the whole muffin man rhetoric was the least painful to listen too. Probably because I tuned it out like most of the fans have to be doing.
So what do you think Token, should I actually respond to some of the points that he so painfully tried to spit out? Or should we just watch this again?
(Cut to Token who just stares at the camera for a few seconds… and the camera cuts back to Rage.)
Well said. I agree. Let’s talk a little bit about what this loser tried to say. I mean after all it’s only fair to us. We had to listen to the drivel, the least we should be able to do is laugh at it and tear it apart. I will try to make it short though, because I’m dying to hear the next installment.
Do we think you still suck? Of course we do. We all do. The whole GXW does. Anyone who hears your spots would agree to that. The fact that you still have a job leads me to believe that you have a stack of pictures involving President Zieba and some farm animals.
Rookie? Man now who doesn’t know anything about anything. You really should think twice before opening your mouth. Ignorance… bliss… you… happiest man alive. Reading really is fundamental you know… it’s not just a catchy phrase.
But let’s not dwell on how bad you are or how ignorant you are, lets instead deal with what can only be described as your own personal obsession. Me. Or more importantly my nickname. You want to talk a lot about Truth, and why I’m the truth and do I stand for the truth. The only truth I stand for is me being better than the losers of the world like for instance you. Why am I called The Truth? Well to paraphase… BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. You come out here and talk some serious bullshit about life in someone’s hands and how you aren’t mad at me but just a wrong place, wrong time type of thing going on. Well son, bring that attitude and a whole helluva lot more to the ring because you are in for the shock of your life. You’ve already proven that you have no idea what you are walking into. You don’t know me. Haven’t studied the years of tapes available on my career. And for your ignorance you will pay a price. So bring it. Bring all of your built up anger and frustration about being a laughing stock. Bring all of your conspiracy theories about how you’ve been screwed. And bring all of your hopes and dreams. Because it’ll be quite fun crushing them, as I crush you in the ring.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some hysterical Television to get back to.
(Slow fade to black as both men laugh and we hear a familiar voice repeat the word “Truth” over and over and over)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Sep-06-02 AT 02:10 AM (EDT)]*Fade In...
*Around mid day afternoon...
(Camera cuts to the interior driving inside a navy blue 2002 GMC Jimmy on the freeway going into Baltimore. In the driver seat is "HellFighter" Michael Shutt in route to location of GXW's next televised show, Onslaught. As he is driving, he turns on the car stereo to hear what is on. To his amazement, he hears the reprise of his oponant, "The Truth" Tommy Rage's promo about him. As Rage laughs hysterically. Hellfighter looks to be chuckling along with him, finally his chuckling changes to an even louder hysterical laughter...even louder than both Rage and his bodyguard Token. Finally Hellfighter can't control himself any longer. He pulls his Jimmy to the side of the road. He gets out still laughing. The camera gets out after him. As Hellfighter is laughing, he is flipping off other vehicles driving by. They respond with a honk of the horn and a middle finger taunt of their own. The camera moves into position to catch what Hellfighter wants to say.)
HellFighter: (Talking while laughing) "Hook...line...and sinker. I knew that you would take the bait Tommy. You really do have the gift of laughter. You think that is all that I am. Then you are the one who has no idea what is coming your way. Now granted, I will admit, I was still a little emotional when the camera man cut that promo on me. I was trying to make a statement. I just got done with a match, so my brain was on overdrive. So as you noticed, I got a little carried away with the word truth. Its like when someone after an NBA or NFL game afterwords is being interviewed, and you find that he repeats his/herself. That was an extreme case, but still it is the same thing. I was wrong on that. I should had controled myself more, but then again I was attempting to make a point."
"You attach that phrase to your name because it's gimmick to you and nothing more. You know nothing of what it is, but still you have it as your namesake. What the hell does it mean to you anyway? You really do believe all of those rumors and jokes that says I suck, and I say that you are dumber than you look. I went off on your nickname because I don't see what's the big deal about you. But then again, you think the same thing about me so this match should be really interesting to say the least. We're both on level ground. We know jack s<beep>t about each other. However I did love when you paraphrased when you said, (Mock Tommy Rage/Jack Nickolson impression) BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH. Now that was funny. Almost as funny as anything that Kin Hiroshi would say, but not as funny when I mistakenly went off on the 15 times tangent. Even I will admit that I lost it there, but hey you live and you learn. I learned, will you?"
"What do I call you? It's obvious that I don't want to call you the 'T' word again, God knows that I overused that. So I have abused my privalages of that word. So do I call you Tommy, Rage, Tommy Rage...or do I call you the Ghetto Jack Nickolson?"
(Mock gang member voice) "Hey yo Joe! Heeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeee's Tommy! Now cut me some slack jack before I cleve this here ax in your back Shaft." (Change up to mock Weird Al Yankovic/Amish Paridise impression) "Or else I get midevil on your hiney......or something to that affect."
(Chuckles outloud before reverting back to normal voice again ) "Alright somebody stop me, I'm laughing again. And your little friend, what was his name again? Oh yeah, Token. Token I got some advice for you too. (Reaches in his pocket and pulls out a quarter.) See this Token, it's a quarter, nice and shiney. (He flips it at the camera, it bounces off of the lense and falls to the ground) Take that quarter down to your nearest sewer cover right here in Baltimore, crawl down inside, find one of those giant sewer rats, and have him knoll...er I mean...GNAW on your D<Beep>k while I whoop your boy's ass from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. that will keep you busy in that time. Know this Kevin Cosner, you try and save your Whitney in anyway, and the GXW will be burying two new rookies instead of just one. Hey I don't care what two bit, peice of s<beep>t, indy fed you came from prior to joining GXW, but that doesn't mean a thing. Your in the big leagues now, and you are a rookie here. You have to reestablish yourself all over again, so that makes you a rookie. Just make sure that you stay the hell away from me...got that bodygaurd? (Mock Whitney Houston singing voice) And IIIIIIIIIIIeeeeeeIIIIIII will always...(cough cough cough cough cough cough) No big song number for your lover Tommy this time."
"Now off of your bodyguard who works for oral sex and not for food...NO I am not referring to me schmuck, and back onto you Tommy. You want to call me ignorant? You wanna call me R.I.F.? You want to call me the all that ego rubbish? Well I think that you better be looking the mirror before you go casting stones at me because you have no room to talk. I may not know anything about you, but you don't know s<beep>t about me. So keep your F<beep>king mouth shut. I'll tell you what, I will recognize you if you recognize me...yeah like that's really going to happen. But if you think that all my rantings and ravings in that GXW locker room is going to be your perception of me, then I already have you beat. Because while you stereotype me, I will have already beat you in the center of the ring 1-2-3. I must be a hell of an actor for you to believe every word that I said. Which makes me want to fight you even more now. I want to prove you wrong and me right. Try to crush me in the ring. I am not just daring it or even just begging for it...I'm praying for it B<beep>ch. Then I can show you everything I am, and everything that you are not."
"So take me for granted. Laugh all you want. Make yourself seem bigger than me. Even though I'm 7'0 and 300 lbs, compared to your 6' nothing and 200 plus of human waste. Still, think that you got this match all won, and I will show you just how lost you really are against me. Now that is all for now, I would expect a civilized rebuttle from you Rage, but knowing your uneducated, GED failing, food stamps paid ass-you will probably say the same thing like your other promo. And you say that I repeat myself. I predict that you will do far worse than anything I did before. I will sign off anyway and give you a chance to respond."
"Take note though, I really love TO PISS PEOPLE OFF, and it will be o different with you."
"Now, this happiest of happy little promos is now over. I await for your response Tommy. Fade out, I have to get off this freeway and to the arena so that the talks can end and I can show this rookie his insides. Fade to black mister cameraman."
(Hellfighter talks back to his Jimmy and closes the door. The cameraman with the camera tries to get in with him, but Hellfighter forces him back out, and drives off down the freeway. The camera fades out to black.)
(Scene opens to the same living room where two men watch the television. Token is still wearing his “The Right Nigga” t-shirt (available at GXW events and where all fine GXW merchandise is sold.) With him is “The Truth” Tommy Rage who sits with a shocked look on his face. There is a long pause, almost unnerving in length.
“The Truth” Tommy Rage:
OH…MY…GOD… I don’t even know where to begin with this. I almost don’t want to reply. I mean after all bashing on the mentally challenged is so un-PC in this day and age. I almost feel bad coming out here and slapping around Corky like this. Has anyone actually listened to one of these spots? The GXW crew needs to put down the prescription drugs and bottles of Jose Cuervo and begin to do their job, because this moron right here is the poster child for why the GXW is considered an independent bingo hall promotion by places like the CSWA. And I’m not even talking about the obvious. Like his inability to remember simple details. Errrr. The cameraman didn’t cut any promo, you grabbed the camera away from him, locked yourself into a dressing room and as usual were alone babbling incessantly. I’ll let that slide because I’ve come to know in a short time that he’s not bright. But we are talking serious stupidity here.
First we have this guy talk about he got me. Hook, line and sinker. Incredible. BRAVO. What a ploy. Act like a total inbred, moronic, rambling idiot because well it got me. Man, I fell into the trap. I called the retard on being retarded. Ouch, you really hurt me with that one.
And let’s not forget your perpetual wood over my nickname. Once again we are back to why I’m called the Truth and how it’s just a gimmick. Congratulations Einstein, you realized that names and personas in the world of professional wrestling are just that.. Names. Personas. Characters. Oh wait let me guess “Hell Fighter”. Lucifer himself rose from beneath the Earth and gave you a flaming sword to fight all the do-gooders in the world. Well you’ve got the flaming part down, I’ll give you that.
But wait, you really drove home that point with the gang member and ghetto stuff? Now I understand you claim to have listened to my spot on radio but I’ll clue you in on a little secret. Psssst. I’m white. Not only white, but born and raised in one of the richest communities in this country. So keep playing up that ghetto card Cork, because it’s perfect for your persona. Stupidity exemplified.
But since you are stumped on what you should call me, I’ll give you an acceptable list to choose from. Sir, Boss, God, master, and Daddy. Oh wait, the cross eyed drooling chick that bares such a resemblance to you, tried to get with the boys and I, but like you she was dismissed.
This time though, it’s not just me he’s picking on. He’s also going after my friend Token here. The silent assassin. But I’m sure that came through real clear on radio, right Cork? You want him to take that quarter and go find a sewer rat to “KNOLL” on his unit? I think you should Token . Maybe it’ll be a grassy knoll. Shame we’re in Baltimore instead of Dallas or you could search for Kennedy’s killer on that knoll? Perhaps if you’re real lucky you can get something to GNAW on that unit as well, while on the knoll. Know what I mean? Thanks for the suggestion Uncle Buck.
(Cut to Token who stares intently at the camera for a second or two and then back to Rage.)
Again, well said my friend. After all you do work for oral sex right? ::rolls eyes:: Good to see you’re not reaching TOO far to try and get over Drool Cup. See now if I was desperate for one liners and heat like you obviously are, I’d ask if that’s why you applied to be my bodyguard before Token came into the scene.
(double gun fingers at the camera ala Foley’s bang/bang)
You don’t know me. You’ve admitted it. Not like anyone would expect otherwise. Anyone that’s ever dealt with you, or seen you work the mic, knows that you are stupid. Too stupid to do a little research. And it’s shocking to me. After all you proved your massive insider information in the business by knowing that Bret Hart was double crossed what five or six years ago. ::rolls eyes again::
I will give you credit for one thing. You are right, you’d have to be one hell of an actor if the stuff you come out here and spew isn’t the real you. Academy Award Winning Actor at that. After all, coming off like a helmet wearing, drool cup needing, short bus riding, second grade educated, downs syndrome baby is almost impossible.
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Sep-06-02 AT 02:32 PM (EDT)]*Fade In...
*Around late afternoon...
Edited prerecorded voice over of Hellfighter: "The following is brought to you by Hellfighter via pirated airwaves. This promo, nor any other promo belonging to Hellfighter is filmed without permission of GXW. If you; GXW, FCC, or even Tommy Rage has a problem with these promos, please call 1-800-EAT-S**t. We don't give a damn what you think about us, but you are going to share your views on us anyway. Anyway, onto another promo that all of you hate."
(Cut to the interior of an inner parking garage leading into a hotel. The camera fades in on the navy blue GMC Jimmy driven by "HellFighter" Michael Shutt. He sits in the driver seat still pondering in silence. The car door is still open. HellFighter takes the keys out of the ignition to stop the incessant dinging of the car bell. He glances out of the corner of his eye to the camera.)
Hellfighter: "Ah, see that you finally caught back up with me. Sorry that I left you hanging out there, but I knew that you would find your way back. Just sitting here pondering whether or not it is safe to respond to my oponant's promo again. Wondering if it's worth the effort. He's not going to listen obviously. Oh yeah, he must really think that he must have this match won. He must really think that I don't stand a chance against him on Onslaught. That's right, think whatever you want. I don't give a damn. I probably should be silent and drop this whole thing. I could dig my own grave with these little war of words. I'm not even good at these trash talking promos. I mean, I always try and get in the last word, but what does it matter? He's just going to drowned in his dillusions more and more. (He pauses, then beams a subtle smile on his face like a sudden revolation enters into his mind.) You know what? F<beep>k it. Lets give him more to soak in. Lets make sure that he is up passed his ears in dillusion. Granted it could make me look more like an idiot, but sacrifices need to be made. And I rather look like an retard now and kick his ass in the ring on Onslaught than fullfill his perceptions of me. I'll take my pick. It's a no brainer which one will I choose. I choose to win. To look like a retard now, and kick his ass in the later."
(He slides out of the Jimmy, he slams the car door shut causing a loud echo in the parking garage, then leans up against the car looking at the camera.)
HellFighter: "Boy you really had a hay day on me Tommy. I don't know what to say. I'm almost speechless, but I will try to add to your dillusions even more. And I'm the one who needs to be on drugs? Look who's talking. I got you so swelled up, thinking that you have this match won. You have shown that egotism really is almost an incurrable disease...until you get in the ring with me. I'm the only cure for egotism...well your egotism anyway."
"You then go on about my not paying attention to simple details. Now that's a good one. This might come as a newsflash to you Tommy especially from a 'retard' like me, but I know how to do simple things such as...oh lets say work a video camera."
(Mock Tommy Rage heart attack)
"Oh...My...God...A retard can't work a video camera. If I could work something like that, imagine what I could do in the ring. I'm just full of surprises. I guess that I'm not so retarded afterall. Then you went on about how I mispronounced the word GNAW with knoll. Even though I did correct myself, still I got it wrong. A minor slip of the tongue. It happens to everybody, but that doesn't matter because I'm a retard for having a Missourian slip. You know, when I say one thing and mean Missouri...er I mean another. Alright, alright it's Fruedian slip. Yes I know what that is to. I only said Missourian only because I am from Kansas City, Missouri...huge metropolitan city not Beverely Hills, California. Does that make me an inbred? F<beep>k You NO! Oh yeah, he'll nail me for that one to, but why stop there. Lets dig ourselves a hole to China while we're at it. Then there is the nice comments about the not being ghetto. I know that you are white; however, you don't have to be black to be ghetto. Being ghetto is more of an attitude anyway and not a social status. You said that you were born and raised in the richest part of the country. Good for you. I like beating rich, pretty boy's ass into the mat. It's my favorite thing to do. That does explain your ego disease. So-called rich people always have the biggest egos, and not to mention that they are always the most fun to cure."
"Then there's the continuation of why we keep talking about your nickname...the 'T' word. Simply put, we both know that it is a nickname, a gimmick, a persona. Nothing more. No more of a persona
than hellfighter. My whole point all along though is why are you called truth and you have no earthly idea what it is? It makes no sense to be called that and you are full of s<beep>t the entire time. You think that I got my moniker from Lucifer with the flaming sword crap? You have no idea. The name was actually the exact opposite of everything that Lucifer stands for. The name hellfighter is this, I am ready, willing, and able to go through hell and back to win. That means everytime you try to do your worst to me, it just makes me stronger, and in turn it helps me to rise above you and beat you. However, it actually the other way around to. So as you futile attempts to hurt me and put me through unspeakable pain in order to beat me, I get to inflict an unspeakable reality of hell ad damnation upon you. The name hellfighter has nothing to do with lucifer or the real biblical hell. It's a metaphore of everything that I am and everything you are not."
"Stupidity Explified? Not even close contrary to what you believe, and what you believe ain't jack sqaut."
"You wanna know the real difference between me and you Tommy? You THINK that you are going to beat me. I KNOW that I am going to beat you. Why you ask? Because I got your ass so diluted with preconceived notions about me, you can't see passed your own hand."
(Pauses for a moment like in a sudden thought popped into his head, then responds with a low voice)
"Mental note, must watch Uncle Buck again for quick refresher...yeah. I haven't seen that movie in forever. (Looks at the camera with a mock confused look on his face) What? How am I supposed to know something so trival as a little line in a movie over a decade ago that already came and gone? Oh well, who cares."
(Getting back on track again as he looks back up at the camera.)
"Alright, I get the point. I won't be funny again. No more oneliners. Even though I was attempting to show a little bit of my own funny side. Hey if Kin Hiroshi can be funny, why can't me? Obviously comedy and me just don't mix anyway. So no more funny. However, I will say this. Contrary to what you believe. I am not stupid like you think I am. Sometimes my thoughts get lost in the delivery. I guess I get so overworked with emotion that it clouds my mind a little bit. But that all changes when I get in the ring. My mind is clear, and I know of one true constant fact...to wrestle and to do my best to win. And if for some strange reason that I might lose, then I make sure that you never forget me. One way or another you never forget me. Even IF...I said if...I lose, the damage is done. There is a brain in this head and it goes to college level. I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am not the dullest either."
"Thanks, but no thanks for the Academy award nomination. Instead I will just settle for beating your rich, white boy, NON ghetto ass in the center of the ring on Onslaught. Now, I would love to stay and chat more, inflate your ego even more into thinking that you can beat me, and make me look more 'retarded' than I do now, but I think that I will stop right here for now and give you a chance to respond. I am sure that you will have so much fun with me on this promo, but then again you will just prove my point anyway. Dilluted minds, and diseased lives lose matches. See you on Onslaught...Tommy Boy."
(Talking directly to the cameraman operating the camera)
"Hey, I think that you did a good job of making me look retarded. Sorry for leaving you hanging on the freeway earlier, but you caught up to me. I knew you would. Come on, I'll go buy you a drink over at the bar in the hotel. Next promo you can continue to make me look stupid. Don't worry, I gave him much to talk about for his next promo. He should really have a hayday with me. Now cut that camera, people are missing reruns of Married With Children...and I love that show."
(The cameraman complies with Hellfighter and cuts the camera out. Screen fades to static.)
(Scene opens up to the private weight room of “The Truth” Tommy Rage. Working out with him as always is the massive Token. Token is wearing his new GXW merchandise, “The Right Nigga” t-shirt is spotting Rage as he does bench presses. )
(Cut To: The entrance to the gym, where Steve Hotbody walks through the door with a disgusted look on his face.)
Steve Hotbody: Tommy, you don’t want to hear this…
Tommy Rage: Oh God, please tell me he didn’t do it again.
Steve Hotbody: I wish I could.
(Hotbody holds up another video tape)
Tommy Rage: Doesn’t he have any consideration for the ten or twenty fans that don’t change the channel when he comes on? Alright let’s watch this latest train wreck and hopefully entertain the fans to make up for it.
(Cut To Commercial)
Tommy Rage V/O: Do you know someone with a special disability. Someone who you feel sorry for and wish that something could be done.
(Screen shows pictures of Hellfire cutting a promo in his dressing room)
Rage V/O: Maybe someone that is too old to benefit from Jerry’s Kids, even though it’s obvious that they belong.
(Screen cuts to another video clip of Hellfire laughing in his car.)
Rage V/O: Well now is the time to help. Make a pledge today. A dollar or two is all it takes. Make your pledge today, each time one of these “Special” people stammers out the word “Truth” donate to your local mental retardation charities. Help out the people like this… because as you can see… they obviously need help.
(Cut Back to Rage, Token and Hotbody. They have moved to the theatre room where they have been watching the other clips of Hell fire. )
RAGE (shaking his head): I want to apologize to the fans who were tortured by viewing this. To those few fans who are either so dedicated to the GXW that they wouldn’t turn the station, or those whose remote control batteries are dead. I know that this is partially my fault. No, no, I am not the one that made him retarded, but I keep giving him a reason to talk. So I’m sorry GXW Fans. Truly sorry. But I’m hoping since it was on “pirated airwaves” (laughs) that it didn’t effect many people. (golf claps) Bravo. The mastermind strikes again, hijacking our television waves and forcing this unauthorized mic spot.
Hellfire, you’re right. I’m not really listening. No one is really listening. People with at least half a brain tune you out as often as humanly possible. The only reason that I don’t change the channel as soon as I see your drooling face is that the GXW offices are paying me bank to come out here and entertain the fans. And what better way of keeping them entertained than loser bashing.
You should probably be quiet and drop this whole thing. For God’s sake if you care about the fans, the GXW staff, humanity in general… you’d be quiet. Hell for your own sake and any family that you may have, you should be quiet. Your dear old Mom must be hanging her head in shame. Her weekly trip to the local grocery store must be tough when the clerk says, “Hey I saw your son on television last night… how many times did you drop him as a baby”. Or has she already filled that tub with warm water, grabbed the razor blades and slit those wrists, with one of your mic spots playing in the background, confirming her failures as a parent and confirming her desire to cease living.
Almost speechless? In that case I ALMOST did my job here. Because each time you come out here you do bury yourself a little bit more, and do hurt the GXW a little more . And what’s sad, is that you don’t learn from your mistakes. Normal people get better when buried with overwhelming criticism. Maybe you need a week or two off for some reflection. Because you’re not the cure for egotism, you’re the cure for self esteem issues. People all over the world breath a sigh of relief and say, thank GOD I’m not him. They know that there is at least one person worse than they are.
Forget a week of reflection, perhaps an English class or two. Perhaps you’d learn some comprehension. The issue was never if you could operate a video camera. Hell a monkey could be trained to put a camera on a desk, and drool in front of it like you did. You didn’t even have to hit the little red button that says record, because it had already been done for you. The issue Corky is that YOU grabbed the camera, locked yourself into your little padded room and cut a promo. Then YOU proceeded to explain away the aforementioned horrible promo on the fact that you were a little emotional when the .. now follow along.. CAMERA MAN cut that promo on you. So the issue is your own stupidity in not remembering your own dashing move of swiping a video camera and placing it on a desk. My God you are dense.
Do yourself a favor. Keep that quarter that you wanted to give Token for the grassy knoll. ::rolls eyes:: and use it to buy yourself a clue. Or better yet an English tutor, or acting coach. Or best yet, use it to start a collection to buy yourself a revolver, place it inside that drooling mouth of yours and do the world a favor.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Just because I come out here and call you out for being a drooling, helmet wearing, short bus riding pathetic loser, doesn’t mean that I am taking you anymore lightly than I would any of the other jobbers here in the GXW. But keep puffing yourself up thinking you’ve got a chance because of it. Hell you can’t even figure out what country or neighborhood I come from, whether or not I’m a rookie or veteran, or for that matter what can you figure out. Me on the other hand have seen months of your matches here, and know all about your past accomplishments amateur and pro. Can you say the same about me? Can you say ANYTHING about what I can do in the ring?
You know what’s worse then knowing a little line in a trivial movie a decade ago? Using and butchering that line. So maybe you should go back and watch it Uncle Buck, and a lot of other bad movies… because it can only help your mic spot to borrow as much as you can from other places.
You won’t be funny again? You’ve never been funny to begin with. Well except in that sense that we secretly chuckle at the retarded kid when he falls down while trying to walk.
well that's all I have for now GXW Fans. and once again I apoligize because I know you'll now be subjected to yet another horrible promo.
Retrace my steps (You wanna go there, I'll do just that)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Sep-07-02 AT 10:42 AM (EDT)]*Fade In...
*The scene of a balcony hooked up to a large penthouse suite over looking the city below...
(The scene cuts to the balcony. Standing on the balcony is the 7'0 ft, 300 lbs multi versitile GXW veteran giant "HellFighter" Michael Shutt. Still wearing the same clothes that he has been wearing all throughout the day; black baggy slacks, black shiney Goochie leather dress shoes, a multi-colored silk shirt-unbuttoned slightly exposing a rip muscular physique underneath the silk shirt waving in the night time breeze from high above. He is standing out on this balcony, leaning on the railing with one hand, while holding a glass full of hard liquir in the other. A bottle of Jack Daniels sits down on the table right next to him. He seems to be lost in his own train of thought, comtemplating all that has gone on between him and his oponant "The Truth" Tommy Rage. As we look at HellFighter's face, we see intense pent up rage and mixed emotions bottled up inside of him. It is obvious that HellFighter has much to talk about, but doesn't know where to begin. As he sips on his Jack Danials looking for a place to begin talking, the camera gets into position right next to him, let's listen in.)
(Looking over the ledge. The bright lights of the city below reflecting back on his face and in his blue eyes almost like he is having an internal discussion with the city underneath him.)
HellFighter: "F*** no! Not even an option for me. I am not coward. I would only be giving what Rage and everybody what they have been wanting. I don't care what people think about me, and I definately don't care what happens to them. I feel like that I want to piss him off even more now than ever especially since he sunk to a new low by talking about my family. Fine you wanna go there Rage? I'll go there and you won't like it. However, I first need to retrace my steps and make sure that all of my facts are in order, so that I can make sure that I know who it is I am fighting. Let's review shall we."
Fact 1) This is some guy who thinks he is truth. His name is Tommy Rage. Who the hell cares if he has something trival that pertains to honesty by his name. It doesn't make him anymore of a great wrestler than me. I'll admit, he is pissing me off, but that makes me want to beat his ass in the ring even more. Tearing him apart will almost be more satisfying than winning a NCAA championship, winning an EWI Intercontinential or dare I say it...EWI World Heavyweight Title, or even represent the U.S. Olympic team. Nothing will be more beautiful than seeing his rotting corpse twitching in the center or the ring.
Fact 2) He contridicts me, and says that he is not a rookie. Maybe he's right. He's not a rookie. Maybe he came from some two bit federation, and was the king there. Now he wants to try his luck in GXW. It doesn't matter where he came from before, he's in GXW now. All other past experience and acheivements doesn't mean s**t, he has to start all over again, which makes him a rookie. I have an advantage over him there...
Fact 3) He tells me that I don't pay attention to details. I'm too stupid to do anything. Still he has no room to talk. We have been at this war of words for about a week now and he can not get one little thing like MY moniker right. He calls me Hellfire? It's not Hellfire, it's HellFighter. However since this isn't about gimmicks, it's all about the people behind the gimmicks. He can call me whatever he wants. I rather him call me Michael, but we know that isn't going to happen. Frankly I don't care what he calls me. And No I will not call him daddy, god, sir, mister, master or whatever else he said. I WOULD RATHER CALL HIM DEAD MOTHER F**KING MAN WALKING!...
Fact 4) He calls me retarded, but I don't take school buses, I don't wear helmets, and I don't droll. I have an above average college education contrary to what he believes. I guess it goes to show that his beliefs aren't worth a hill of beans with me. Again it shows what he knows. And he calls me stupid. Again he has no room to talk...
Fact 5) So the f**k what. Everybody tunes me out. Ain't the first, won't be the last. Good, if their cowardly enough to slit their wrist in the bathtub, or eat a F**king bullet because of me then I say to that good bye, they can all roast in hell for all I care. Hey it ain't my life that's being wasted. It's their's. Wow, that means that everyone kills themselves before Onslaught, including Tommy Rage and his two-bit, lip d**k, bodygaurd. That means I win by default. Whoa, there's a thought; human genocide, I kind of like the sound of that. I guess hell is going to be a really crowded place. Maybe I ought to change my name from Hellfighter to Archangel. Afterall, my name is Michael. Angel of Death does have a nice ring to it, too bad it is over used in this business...
Fact 6) This man is not ghetto. He is a white, rich, pretty boy, F**gott. Huh, sounds like a Dire Strait song...that little F**gott, he's a millionaire. Hey watch yourself Michael, he's from South Central Beverly Hills. Oh, what's he gonna do, slap me to death because he doesn't want to ruin his $5,000 manicure? Oh I better be careful, don't want to get hit by the dreaded b***h slap of death. He couldn't kill me even if he had a nuke dropped right on top of me...
Fact 7: I speak english just fine thank you. I don't need a tutor. Acting? I'm not in this business to entertain, so I don't need acting lessons. I am here to whoop unbelievers in the ground six feet deep. I can't act, I can't work the mic, but whatever I can't do, my wrestling and fighting makes up for the difference. You don't believe me, just wait, you'll find out soon enough. Oh how Onslaught is ever so fitting for what I will do to you. Just think if the people hated me now, their really going to hate me after I'm finished with you. More importantly, you're going to hate me Tommy. Why? Because you lost...no I take that back, you got killed by your own words and dillusions. Let that echo in your rich perfect ears. I can see it on your tombstone now; 'here lies Tommy Rage, murdered by a so-called retard...guess he wasn't so retarded afterall.' How about that for irony...
Fact 8: It doesn't matter if I pirate the airwaves or get permission to do these promos. All that matters is that I make myself heard. I never said that people would like what I had to say. I just said that it would be the...(pause silently giggle)...THE TRUTH. It doesn't matter if people tune me out. Of course people are going to tune me out. They don't want to listen to how right I am. That is why everybody hates me. They all know that I'm right. It remotely pisses them off to even think that I'm right. They just refuse to admit it. I never said that they would like it, I just speak the cold hard facts. If they don't want to listen, that's their fault. It's not my responsible for other people's lives. If they don't like it, then they can leap off the ledge and fall to their death. I don't care. I can care less for any of you. I may be dense, but I know that I'm in good company. I am no more dense than my oponant. This from a man who is just as retarded as I am. Again he has no room to talk...
(He swallows the last of his liquir in his glass and turns around to face the camera face to face. The camera moves in for a close up where it gets a glimpse of his face. His blue eyes tell a story deep within. Rage burns deep within him, but he remains calm and collected throughout it all.)
"Bottom line, let he that is without fault, cast the first stone. Just as I thought b****, you got nothing on me except for your lies build up in your head about me. Not one shed of truth to back it up, and you call your truth. You're a crock a s***. Your a walking contridiction Rage. Everything you are is just trash talk, all words, you can't back it up. You're nothing, and I get to prove it in front of the whole world. All that will be left for you is your one last choice to kill yourself because you lost to a retard. You know what's funny, I'm going to make sure that I am in the room with you when you do finally kill yourself, and while your rotting excuse of a soul gets dragged to hell...I'll be laughing my ass off."
"As to everyone else who watched my promo and are having thoughts about suicide. My advice to you is...
You got nothing to live for. What's stopping you? The devil will have a hayday with your ass. You don't want to listen to me. Then kill yourself. End your lives now you F***ing cowards...
Eat a bullet...
Fill up the tub and slice your wrist...
Take an entire bottle of pills and shove it down your throat...
Hang yourself from the ceiling until ye be dead...
Take a plunge off a very steep cliff onto the rocks...
Stand in a tub full of water and conveniently knock the hair dryer in with you while taking a bath. At least you'll be clean when you meet the devil in hell...
"Do whatever you want. I'm calling all of your bluffs. You hate me so much. Then do something about chicken s***s. Trust me, I don't love you now, and I wouldn't care if you died tomarrow. In all actuality, I would rather you die. One less person to pray for."
"One last question Tommy, and then I will sign off and give you a chance to rip me apart again and again. With everything that you have said to me this passed week, and how you sunk to a new low talking about my family. Hanging on what you said about how my mother is hanging her head in shame after listening to my promos or sliced her wrist in the tub because she couldn't bare the thought that she gave birth to me. Did I quote all right? I hate to get that all out of context, I want to make sure that I understood you right."
"My question to you is, or to Steve Hotbody, or your bodyguard Token.
It doesn't matter, it applies to all three of you. What would any of three of you do if your mother, father, brother, sister, or some close relative KILLED THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY LISTENED TO MY WORDS, MY PROMOS, MY TRUTH? What would you son of a B****es do to to me? What would you do if they sliced their wrist in tub and got on the one way expresslane to hell to burn for all eternity? What would you three do to me? I guess to a certain point of view, that makes me a murderer. What would you do to me if my genocide killed your family?"
"What you do is meaningless, but I'll tell you what I would do. I f***ing smoke a cigarette, I have a toast, drink with my good friend Mr John Daniels, and say life's a b****! Life goes on! better them than me! Suck to be them! And I don't even smoke. Maybe I should start...Nah, after the match. I don't want to give any sudden advantages to Tommy boy."
"You laughing now mutha F***er? You think about my words before you go off on into an area that you don't belong. Don't you dare go there again. Now fade to black. I've said my peice, and I mean every single word of it. Let him and the world choke on that. Damn right I meant every single word of it. I'm pissed off, I need to calm down. I need a vacation. I need a drink and to cut the camera now."
(HellFighter walks over to the bar and pours himself a glass of Jack Daniels in a glass. He picks up the glass, hold it up like he is doing a toast with a cold, heartless, apathetic grin on his face.)
HellFighter: "What's that mister camera man? Another 30+ people have killed themselves after listening to my promos. Kewl! See you people in hell. I drink to my newfound fame. Ain't Genocide's a b****. Hey Tommy, Steve, Token, this next drink is to each of your family members who have died after listening to me. If you want to try and do something about it, you know where to find me, in the ring at Onslaught."
(He downs the shot of JD down his throat and set it on the bar to pour another. With a grin on his face, he looks at the camera and makes the motion to cut the camera out. The cameraman cuts the camera immediately upon HellFighter's command, the camera cuts to static.)
(The scene opens up to Tommy Rage, Steve Hotbody and Token arriving at the arena for Onslaught. As they walk into the building they are immedietly met by a GXW offical. )
GXW Lackey: You guys have to come see this.
Hotbody: Please tell me it’s not another mic spot.
GXW Lackey: Oh yeah it is.
Hotbody: Oh great, and I just had lunch.
(Through the magic of television, time has elapsed and we see the three come out of the production room. )
Tommy Rage: On behalf of myself and the guys here with me. I want to once again apologize to the audiences of the GXW. I never realized that we’d get this retards panties so waded up that he’d continually run himself out here and make himself look worse and worse. I would like to go through a few of his comments however as we prepare for this match.
I know it’s wrong of me to talk about your family. God knows they never want to be associated with you at all. I’m quite sure that they’ve changed their name by now. Unless of course my prediction that they’d rather commit suicide holds true. I guess that it really got under your skin too. Considering that it’s now more satisfying to beat me then all of your previous career accomplishments. Although the whole “satisfying” sort of bothers me considering all of the gay references that you’ve come up with during this banter. And how you giggle to yourself before mentioning my name.
Yes I did contradict you about my history. I just love showing how utterly stupid you are. Making statements without any knowledge of any facts. Do you even realize how stupid you look? First I’m ghetto and you talk like a gangster to imitate me. Next I’m a spoiled rich kid. First I’m a rookie, next I’m from some two bit federation.
Above average college education? (Rage starts laughing so hard that tears start to come down his cheeks.) I really don’t need to say much more, because anyone who’s seen your spots knows better.
Hey moron it was you and your family that should eat bullets and slit wrists. Big time college athlete should have better comprehension skills, don’t you think? You speak English just fine? My God, don’t you even listen to the spots you cut? Third grade teachers around the country cringe.
And in closing as you’ve just heard him say himself… Momma Shutt, go ahead and slit those wrists. Your own son gives his blessing. At least this way you won’t see him get his ass kicked tonight.
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