FADE IN...
Over the years, Troy Douglas has converted most of his basement into a fairly expansive gym. He's not using it right now. With the start of the ULTRATITLE tournament looming, Troy has -- rather appropriately, for the man who once broke into pro wrestling as "The Throwback" -- gone old school. The same old boxing gym his father once took him to, the same heavy bag he's unloaded countless thousands of kicks and punches on. Firing one last roundhouse kick to the swinging bag with a massive *THWACK*, Troy steps away from the bag and leans on the apron of the empty ring. A few deep breaths, a wipe of sweat from his brow, and he's ready.
DOUGLAS: Y'know, that gets really repetitive after a while. But, time-tested training and all that ... right?
It's pretty strange to believe that this day is really here, and for a few reasons.
First, there's an ULTRATITLE again. I'm sure there are a lot of people who thought that Nova would be the last man to ever lift that famous trophy and, honestly, I was one of them.
Second, and not to blatantly plagiarize our old friend George Costanza, but ... I'm back, baby. When I pulled my little disappearing act, I'm sure there were some people who were disappointed, more than a few who were more than happy to be rid of me and some others who didn't even turn their heads at one more washed-up wrestler fading from the spotlight.
And third? Well, in a group full of legends, newcomers and straight-up big balls of mystery ... I'm facing a Mexican vampire umpire -- er, umpire vampire.
A VUMPIRE?
What are the odds, right? A tournament with me, 125 other humans, a Vumpire and Cameron Cruise ... and I get the Vumpire. It's like the folks drawing up the brackets had a window into my subconscious and saw my 11-year-old nightmares of being called out on strikes to end Game 7 of the World Series before having the ump rip off his mask to reveal his fangs bracing to suck out my blood and transform me into one of his undead coven.
Yeah, more than a few lost nights of sleep from that one.
But, you know what they say. Gotta face your fears head on, right? So, I guess we start with Vumpires.
And Umpiro, that means that you're a very, very unlucky undead part-human. Because I'm not an 11-year-old kid dealing with some pesky nightmares. I'm pushing 37, I've dealt with far worse than a few bad dreams and when it comes to the ULTRATITLE, I'm on a mission.
Because my greatest fear isn't vampires, or umpires, or even vampire umpires. It's the idea that my career inside the squared circle -- for all the passion, for all the blood, sweat and tears I dumped into this sport for my than a decade -- doesn't amount to a hill of beans in the end.
I'm scared that my legacy in the world of professional wrestling is to always be the guy that came up short in the clutch, that never really backed up the promise of my resume or my words.
I'm scared, Umpiro, that I was a failure.
And at the end of the day, for all my aspirations of winning the same tournament I watched as a kid, for all my yearning to stretch my legs inside the ring after more than a year on the sidelines, I'm really here for one reason.
In a few months, my first child will be born. And they won't grow up hearing about what a failure Dad was. Not if I have anything to say about it.
The words hang in the air for a moment as Troy's eyes drop to the floor. After a moment, he starts to speak, but quickly stops himself, gathering another deep breath before speaking again, still not looking at the camera.
DOUGLAS: That's why I'm here. That's why the ULTRATITLE means so much to me. Because this tournament ... well ...
It just might be my last chance to make my career mean more than a handful of "almosts" and "not quites."
Of course, there are 127 others with the exact same goal, right? Making this tournament the defining moment of a legendary career, or stamping yourself as a future first-ballot hall of famer. One hundred twenty-seven others, and because that ULTRATITLE name is attached, it's the cream of the crop.
But, here's the rub, folks. I don't have to beat 127 other people. I don't have to run the gauntlet and beat them one-by-one. The way I see it -- and I've done the math, so I'm pretty certain on this -- I've got seven matches to win.
Seven-for-seven, and the ULTRATITLE's mine.
Sounds simple, huh?
Y'all have seen the brackets by now. You know what my road could entail. Cameron Cruise. Dan Ryan. Zerp. Blaine Hollywood. Doctor Curiosity. "Jester" Chad Allen. Kin Hiroshi. Joey FREAKING Melton. And that's just my own minefield of a bracket. That's not even getting to Sean Stevens, Deacon, Troy Windham, Eli Flair, Orphan, Karl Brown, Doc Silver, Anarky, Joe the Plumber or another hundred more.
But right now, none of them matter to me. What matters is the name next to mine in the bracket, and right now, that's you, Umpiro. Right now, you're the most important wrestler in the world.
So congratulations ... and I'm very, very sorry for you.
Because the time may come that the name UMPIRO is up their with Hornet, Windham, Melton, Flair, Ryan and all the greats. The time may come that our friendly neighborhood Vumpire is considered the greatest professional wrestler that's ever not-quite lived.
But right now, you're the first of seven roadblocks on my path to the ULTRATITLE, and if I have to lariat your undead noggin off your shoulders and knock it all the way back south of the border, I will.
When you step into the ring with me, Umpiro, it'll be one ... two ... three strikes, you're out.
And I'll see you at the end of the road.
FADE OUT