(FADEIN: The Odessa Dungeon. The dank dark basement illuminated by two spotlights on either side. Numerous students are going through their training routines.
In the far corner, Josh Klein and Derek Edwards are instructing two students on the fundamentals of tag team wrestling.
Near the entrance, Mary-Lynn Mayweather is checking out Ken Day’s newest entrance attire, a shiny blue jacket with Randy Savage like strings hanging from the hems. Mayweather is all smiles in her trademark red skirt suit.)
KEN DAY: I dunno. Think it’s too garish?
MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: You’re a professional wrestler. Get used to garish.
(At the top of a staircase leading up to Jack Harmen’s office, Tony Davis is anxiously pounding on the door with his fist. He wears cargo pants and a Knight Rider t-shirt
TONY DAVIS: Jack! Jack! I got the tape! It’s hot off the presses!
(The office door opens. Jack Harmen steps out, eyes half open. He rubs the brim of his nose and sighs. He wears a lopsided blue hoodie over his classic CSWA t-shirt.)
JACK HARMEN: I told you to give me a call when it was on its way. Now I look like I just woke up.
(Jack opens his eyes and sees the...)
JACK HARMEN: Great. Cameras.
TONY DAVIS: I did call you! Your phone was off!
(Harmen frowns. He picks his cell out of his pocket. The screen displays “seven missed calls." All from Tony Davis. Flyer nods his head in realization.)
JACK HARMEN: Oh yeah. I set you with a silent ringer cause you’re constantly harassing me with non – emergencies.
(CUTTO: ARCHIVED FOOTAGE: Jack Harmen, in a supermarket, bagging his own groceries. “Pokerface” by Eric Cartman plays, as Harmen takes his cell out of his pocket.)
TONY DAVIS (O.S.): Dude, I just ate a watermelon seed. Does that mean I can’t drink water anymore?
(CUTTO: ARCHIVED FOOTAGE: Jack Harmen is busying on a treadmill. “Rabbi E Tarentella” plays, as Jack Harmen answers his cell.)
JACK HARMEN: Tony!
TONY DAVIS(OS): Dude! You knew they made a Garfield movie?! Why didn’t you tell me?
(Harmen stops running on the treadmill and literally falls off.)
TONY DAVIS(OS): Find me a Blockbuster, STAT!
(CUTTO: ARCHIVED FOOTAGE: A hospital’s emergency wing. Jack Harmen is putting pressure on a severely bleeding forehead wound when his phone rings. Jack answers.)
JACK HARMEN: Ahoy hoy.
TONY DAVIS(OS): Dude. Are vampires real? I think vampires are real.
(Jack rolls his eyes. He looks over to his side and sees a young woman staring at him. She looks down at Harmen’s covered wound and licks her lips.)
(CUTTO: PRESENT DAY : The Odessa Dungeon. Tony Davis crosses his arms over his chest as he stares Harmen down.)
JACK HARMEN: That's just what I was able to record on tape.
TONY DAVIS: You never did say whether vampires are real.
(Harmen ignores Davis and walks to the center of the room. He presses a small button and a foghorn blares over the home made PA system. Annoyed, most of the trainees and trainers turn their attention to Jack. Tony however, has suddenly become entranced by the back of his own hand.)
JACK HARMEN: Alright. Gather ‘round peons!
(The students of Harmen’s academy take a seat in front of a projector. Jack paces along, casting a silhouette.)
JACK HARMEN: So this is promo 101. I’ll be playing a video from a rather well known wrestler, and I want you all to give me your best short succinct response! Alright let’s go.
(As Jack walks off to play the video, Mary-Lynn Mayweather leans in to Ken Day and whispers.)
MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: He just wants us to come up with some material he can steal.
(Mayweather smiles as Ken laughs.)
**TRANSITION: TEN MINUTES LATER**
(The video ends. Students and teachers alike talk amongst themselves in hushed silence. Jack Harmen, however, hasn’t moved since the video stopped playback. He may as well be a living statue. Mary-Lynn notices and walks to his side. She places her hand gently on his shoulder.)
MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: You alright?
(From behind, Ken Day raises his hand as if he were in a classroom.)
Ken Day: What if you called Troy Windham the offspring of a monkey and a platypus, with the social grace of watermelons bouncing on a trampoline?
(Harmen exhales. Frustrated, he walks off without another word. His office door SLAMS behind him. Tony Davis, meanwhile, is nodding his head in approval. He smiles and gives Ken a thumbs up.
Ken frowns, turning to Mary-Lynn Mayweather.)
KEN DAY: Was it something I said?
MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: Probably.
(CUTTO: Jack Harmen paces in his incredibly cramp office. He growls under his breath.)
JACK HARMEN: Mark Windham’s gonna get this TEETH kicked down his throat.
(Harmen looks directly up to the security mounted camera in the corner of his office. Behind him, we notice his cluttered desk and book shelf filled with fitness and psychology books.)
JACK HARMEN: Don’t worry TROY. I know who you are. But considering you don’t even have the decency to address me by MY given name, I figured I’d address you by your more TALENTED and IMPRESSIVE kin’s name. Fair enough? I don’t really care.
Listen Mark. If you bothered to follow the company that you own a fifty percent stake in, you’d know that I gave up the alias High Flyer almost a year ago. I would appreciate a modicum of respect when you address a fellow peer. Do NOT call me by that LIE.
(Harmen shakes his head, sighing.)
JACK HARMEN: Y’know. I got excited when the brackets came out. I figured if I made it to round 3, Troy Windham would be on the other side of that ring. We’d have a match that could sell out the WORLD. And I thought we’d have fun. I thought we could be amicable. I thought we might even see eye to eye. We’ve had similar careers, even if we have polar opposite personalities. We’ve both traveled the globe, had success everywhere we’ve been, and headlined some of the biggest shows in professional wrestling.
I thought you might view me as an equal.
(Harmen laughs, scoffing to himself.)
JACK HARMEN: But apparently you don’t view ANYONE as your equal. You’d meet God and tell him to carry your bags. You’d meet the devil and tell him to shove that pitchfork into his own eye. You’d meet Wrestling Jesus and tell him he’s just a wrestler pretending to be an icon.
JACK HARMEN: Troy Windham thinks of himself as the alpha human, an elite superior athlete the likes of which the world has never seen before and will never see again. And yet, I have to ask. Why?
(Harmen shakes his head.)
JACK HARMEN: Cause Troy followed the coat tails of his brother, won the CSWA Unified Championship TWICE over the course of TEN years, and now wrestles TWICE A YEAR for New Frontier?
(Jack rushes toward the camera, climbing on a step ladder. He frames himself in an extreme close up.)
JACK HARMEN: I’ve won SEVEN world championships in SEVEN different promotions. I’ve ascended to the highest level EVERYWHERE I’ve been and the Ultratitle will NOT be the exception.
JACK HARMEN: And neither will NFW. Y’know, while you were busy at Supercrash III with your cadre of compatriots winning 50 % control in New Frontier, I was busy taking over 75 % of the show BY MYSELF. Just, because I could.
JACK HARMEN (O.S.): Just for the LULZ.
(CUTTO: Jack Harmen, smiling inside his office.)
JACK HARMEN: And I had a BLAST. That’s all I’ve wanted in my wrestling career these past few years. I've had my success, I've had my titles. Shiny. I don't need to add to my legacy. But the Ultratitle... I actually WANT to win. Either way, every day in that ring to me is a JOY. Every match I get to have is like a trip to Six Flags riding Bizarro while Alison Brie rides me. I feel ALIVE in that ring. You MARK, I think you feel more alive OUT of the ring.
(Harmen backs away, shrugging.)
JACK HARMEN: And I get that. Hanging out with Jew-Fro from the 70’s Show and midget Joel McHale would probably impress a lot of people. Chatting up the girl from FASTLANE on a Saturday night, kudos Troy. Nice pull. Fifteen years ago. That’s about how long ago you “defined” what it is to be a wrestler, isn’t it Troy? Just about the last time you were truly relevant? Now look at you Troy. You’re not a wrestler. You’ve had, what, three matches in the past two years or something. You’re just one coke binge away from becoming another C list celebrity going on the not for broadcast sixth season of Celebrity Rehab.
So go watch the Oklahoma Supersonics from your penthouse balcony. I’ll be wrestling every night I can against some of the greatest names in wrestling you’ve never heard of. It’s not your fault you aren't aware of legends like Alias, Superstar Vince Jacobs or HIGH FLYER. I’m sure Danny Masterson takes up a lot of your time.
(Harmen opens the door to his office and goes to exit. A beat. Jack re-enters the room. He looks directly into the camera.)
JACK HARMEN: Oh good luck with your film career. Playing a barista or a mechanic on TBS’s Men at Work. I’m sure that’ll be your big break. Hey! Maybe you can win another Cable Ace award? Whatever THAT is.
(Harmen exits, shutting the door behind him. FADEOUT.)