Re: Causa Perdida, Part II (Let The Rain Begin)
Suddenly light flashes and fills the room, revealing the RLW backdrop and a wooden stool. Then suddenly we’re joined by...
Danny Dalton’s personal favorite steps into the scene from the right, and apparently his voice issues are not a one night thing as he’s carrying the boombox from Slamtrack 8. Setting the boombox down on the wooden stool, Habby adjusts his mask and then addresses the camera while clearing his throat for some reason.
Reaching down, he presses the play button and a barrage of jumbled together clips begin speaking for him in an odd, misshapen cadence of different voices. It’s like an audio version of a ransom note made up of different magazine clippings.
‘He’ begins with a greeting in a deep Spanish sounding accent, again, not ‘his’ voice. He accompanies this greeting with a big, toothy smile, and two thumbs up.
“I AM EL HAH-BAH-NEAR-OH…”
He bows his head slightly, like a tip of the hat.
“AND I AM HERE TO… FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!”
Habby engages the Double Gauge Fist Pump with a comically ‘mean’ looking face that tries to peek through the mask covering his face. Then as the tone of the ‘message’ coming from the boombox shifts, so does his demeanor.
“PREVIOUSLY ON… RED. LINE. WRESTLING…”
He takes a breath.
“I GOT FU<RADIO EDIT>ED UP!”
He ‘says’ as he tilts his head down, getting a little sad panda on us in spite of the more excited tone of the clip.
“I HAD. ONE SHOT. ONE OPPORTUNITY. AND FAILED. THE LAST TITAN. HULK… SMASH!’ED ME…”
He frowns. MOAR Sad Panda 8(
His head comes up as he brings one fist up, his index finger pointing straight to the sky, his sadness evaporating as we get a little taste of Aerosmith.
“I’MMMMMM BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK, BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN, I’MMMMMM BAAAAAAAAAACK!...”
More fist pumping.
“BECAUSE I’M TOO LEGIT TO QUIT!”
OMG M.C. Hammer, really? An emphatic head nod.
“AND WHEN I GO. ONE ON ONE. WITH VICTOR. VIZIO…”
Habby turns his head slightly, looking back at the boombox, then shrugs, because yes, Vizio, instead of Vacio, like the brand of television.
The sound of Dragon Ball Z style ‘powering up’ is heard, followed by the sound of cars screeching and crashing comes from the boombox as Habby pretends he’s a character in Street Fighter, punching and kicking like the derpy bastard that he is.
An 8-bit rendition of La Marseillase, aka the GLASS JOE THEME
, aka by a small couplafew people as the French National Anthem plays, as Habs raises his hands, like he won the biggest match of his life… So basically, it would be like if he had actually managed to even put a dent into Ivan Dalkichev before getting Russian Hulk Smashed by the Last Titan.
“GOOD LUCK. VICTOR. VIZIO!”
We outta here.