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Stout like a Hobbit's Heart


Jan 1, 1970
"It's been a long time Joey...too long..."

(FADEIN: 'The Wolf' Mike Randalls standing near the edge of the cliff overlooking a forest. A full moon lights the wooded area, no clouds above as Randalls - in his grey cloak with the hood over his head, looks out amongst the trees...lost in thought.)

"Was it '96 or '97 when we crossed paths last, my friend? I remember the day, Melton...touring the Orient, live from Buddakan as we headlined a double main event. Tsunami and I put on a match for the ages before you stepped out against Little Choshu - and we all watched as for 75 minutes, two men fought with such desire...such honor...such emotion..."

(RANDALLS slightly smiles, the memory unfaded, untouched...)

"I remember the night like it was yesterday...and now I wonder where those days have gone. Where men fought for honor, not pride. Where a man like Little Choshu could prove through the dignity of this sport that he belonged in the ring with any man - 3 feet tall or 6 feet tall... "

"And where a man like Joey Melton, could lead him to the golden halls of remembrance. We are the few, Joey...we are the proud."

(RANDALLS takes the hood off his head, his green eyes shining in the moonlight...)

"I can only hope that I fight with the vigor of Little Choshu, or the stout heart of Shorter Liger-san. They fought you with everything they had inside, they fought you not only to prove their honor - but to prove their lives weren't a wasted dream."

"If there's one thing that's true about me and you - Joey. We treat every match, as if it were our last. When we wrestle, we aim to wrestle the greatest match of our lives..."

(RANDALLS looks to the camera, his eyes focused on the lens)

"It may not be our greatest match, Joey. It may not be remembered forever in the pages of our sport's history. But if I know myself...and if I know the man that will stand across the ring from me..."

(RANDALLS smirks...)

"I know we will have tried. Strength and honor, Melton - let's make this one for the ages."



the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Jan 1, 2000
Greensboro USA
(FADEIN: Joey Melton in a hot tub with an empty wine glass in his left hand.)

MELTON: We had a few "Buddakan" calls touring Asia, did we not? (Melton smiles.)

You know me Mike, I'll take a little Choshu any way I can get it. And seventy-five minutes sounds about right. I set the Choshu's up, and let you stumble through a haze of smoke and finish them off.

Good times, indeed...and if you'd stop ignoring my phone calls we can headline together again. Damn your foolish pride Mike! Only one of us can Main Event. Play your role and stay satisfied.

There's no honor in turning Choshu away.

Honor, pride, desire.

Randalls you can break your back trying to bring it back to the business, but we don't live in the fifities. Television executives aren't being fired for showing the Cleavers' bathroom. The world's caught on that, no under 60 couple sleep in seperate beds.

The world's changed, and whether the tribe of gamblin' fools that raised you want to admit it or not, to survive you have to roll with the punches.

And you did for so long.

But suddenly, "Angry" Mike is dishonorable.

F*ck'em Mike, that's what you gotta learn to say. The real issue here is that you've grown a tolerance to your meds.

You do so well medicated. A little sloppy with the Choshu, but a great Warrior is like a Derby Winner. As long as he studs, everybody wins. We're not looking for 'best of material' anywhere but the ring.

We've been friends for nearly ten years, man.

I could care less about the weight of the world you feel responsible for.

To quote another great New Yorker, "We didn't start the fire, it was always burnin' since the world's been turnin."

So you drove a stake into a man's knee.


If <b>that</b> didn't put him out, the piss man would have.

So you dented some chairs over high school dropouts' heads.


Their fault for not learning how to spell nuclear fusion.

What exactly is it that you feel sorry for?

Hurting Hornet's inner child?

Look, if Hornet didn't have you to damn near kill him he'd have taken half the year off to perform in off-broadway musicals.

A man like you, doped to perfection as he may be, straightened this business out.

That's pride.

That's honor.

You're a man's man.

In Chicago, I'll let you lead. If you wanna dance in the ring Aho style, I'll do my best not to step on your toes.

If you wanna get crazy, and show how piss drunk this world really is....

I'll bend a chair right back.

When it's over, Mike........when we've proven men with stout heart's don't finish last...

I trust, for old times sake....we'll head back to the Presidential Suite at the Hilton...and endulge ourselves to the finest piece of Choshu Chicago presents.

I know you Mike...it's not salvation you're looking for, it's a sexual release.

You lead in-ring, and outside of it....I'll be your spiritual guide.



Jan 1, 1970
The Song Remains the Same

(FADEIN: 'The Wolf' Mike Randalls standing under the moonlight near a Great Lake. He's wearing no shirt, black drawstring pants with red trim and a wolf insignia...Randalls looks out to the calm Great Lake, a city sparkling off in the distance...)

RANDALLS: "Joey, we both learned long ago that any man can last the hour - its only when you've fine-crafted the technique that you take yourself onto higher ground..."

"That's why Joey Melton is wrestling's Big Mac - over six billion served."

(RANDALLS smirks, his green eyes venturing off towards the city)

"Opportunity only presents itself once, don't think I'm passing this up for any changing world. You know how I like to play the game, you know how the hunt works for me. I don't need to follow, I don't need to lead. I just need to be there."

(RANDALLS smiles, old memories of long ago...)

"We flew high together, my friend. Honor and desire - our wings. Pride - the blood red sky we'd soar through. When other people scoff at the way you conduct your business - I know better. Any man can seek personal glory, its only the man that recognizes the glory within this sport that knows how to be remembered..."

"The tour never stopped, it never has. They can call us what they want, but we've always been the showstealers. Chicago, won't be different...in the midst of Mark Windham completely losing himself in the shadows through Eddie Mayfield igniting traditions of a mid-south past - there will be us, Melton...exceeding expectations one more time."

"A match made in heaven, a team made for hell..."

"I see the forest for the trees, you see the nuts in the bushes..."

"It's never about what you see, it's only whether you believe in it."

"Joey, you can laugh at my sins...but you do not have to live with them. Did Guns have it coming to him? Was Hornet always walking that fine line? Those questions can always be asked, but we both know the answer."

"I never hesitated to push them the wrong way, not for one moment regretting what my will would lead their lives into..."

"I've always admired the fact that you escaped these regrets because you knew when to stop. You knew your limits, you knew when enough was enough. Unfortunately, not knowing when to stop had its own consequences."

"I wasn't born to quit, Joey. And because I didn't, I had to say I would. Lessons learned, roll with the punches..."

"But now..."

(RANDALLS falls to his knees in front of the water...)

"The weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders, Joey. Only now do I see clearly, only now is my haze lifted. Did I really straighten this sport out? Or was I the seed that planted the piss? Without me, where would the sport have gone? Without me, how many broken souls would still linger?"

"You were never affected 'cause you never saw the shadows, Joey. The spotlight shone too bright..."

"Now the light shines on me, the shadows fading into the past where they belong..."

(RANDALLS ducks his head into the ice-cold water, quickly. He comes up - his eyes bulging slightly, possibly from the temperature - but a full smile on his face...)

"Resurrection has its benefits, one seeing the good in what you once thought was bad. A year ago, I would not be thinking of our friendship - only of which bone I should break for the 'mockery' you made of this sport."

"Blind anger leads to the illusions of our soul, Joey. It also leads to unrequited vengeance, a poison I shouldn't have spread into the veins of the CSWA - no matter how much it 'straightened' the place out, or how much you enjoyed watching the damage I caused. Just know, that only NOW I'm smiling...only now do I truly believe in what I fight for isn't an escape from my fears."

(RANDALLS looks up towads the moon...)

"Ten Year's Gone, but now it's the way it used to be..."

"They could've given me Aho, they could've given me Guns - hell, they could've strapped on Windham and Ryan to rewrite the Apocalyptic barriers I first broke the ground on...for my first 'official' match back, hell some might have had Hornet on their list."

(RANDALLS stands back up, he pushes the wet hair awar from his eyes - now focusing back on the city, lake and moonlight...)

"But I got you, Joey. I got the only man I know that has the same amount of love for this sport, ten years from when I started. And y'know...I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Some may say we're nothin' alike, some could make a case for us bein' two of a kind..."

"Either way, I promise that however long you wanna ride - wherever you wanna fly..."

"I'm back, Joey. Only this time, I'm piss drunk on doing things differently. Don't worry whether that's gonna be a problem, 'cause I got a feeling that without the smoke - I'm gonna stud alot LONGER."


(RANDALLS smirks)

"We don't need no stinkin' guides. All we need is one ring, one city and the halls of our sport watching. Screw the Presidential Suite, leave that jargon to Mayfield."

"The Penthouse is waitin' Joey, I say it's time we showed this world how to take a ride to the top..."



the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Jan 1, 2000
Greensboro USA
The Gift That Keeps On Giving

(FADEIN: Joey Melton, dockers, sandals, and a dress shirt sits on the bed of a glamorous hotel suite.)

MELTON: <i>Last the hour</i>. I think it says something about me that the three words that changed my life forever were uttered by a man.

In a moment of personal crisis in Atlanta eight years ago you gave me the one gift every man has a right to own.

The circuit had worn me down...I was aging against my wishes. It all happens so fast. One moment you're a rock star, the next you're apologizing for letting the air out of her evening. I turned to you half jokingly, not expecting you to really *listen* to what I was saying. But, you sly dog....you heard every word.

"Melton.....some men can last the hour."

Admittedly I've never been a reader, but when the Tantric Guide was placed in my hands I went through it in one sitting, and then another, and another...i read that damn book every which way but on my head.

Oh, I lasted the hour that night, and I've never been off the clock since.

That day Randalls you turned golden to me forever. In a perfect world, a six-foot Russian blonde would have turned me on to the lost art of Tantric love making, but it was you.

I don't want to know why you chose me, let me just live with the knowledge that you did in blissful ignorance.

Glad you're back Mike, though I still don't understand why you're upset. What's to hate about what you've done in the past ten years?

Show me the innocent, straight, boy scout you corrupted or maimed? Where's the stage hand who can blame Randalls for taking away his sight, or ensuring that he'll never walk again?

You've never, to my knowledge, tossed books into an open flame to keep the public uninformed, or tortured a father of two who's only mistake was he pulled off to get gas at the same time as you.

You drove a stake through a cheater's heart, and pushed Alder to the brink of death a number of times.

On the latter...you have no idea how close I've come to paying someone to do the same. Ahem.

In a business that kills Mike, you simply dished out <b>street justice.</b>

You drugged Hornet. Okay. Borderline but, is the man currently not drugging himself? And then making public announcements for the sake of 'honesty'?

Don't get me wrong I love Paul. He's a minority owner of the Presidential Suite. We flew in to Arizona on my private jet to catch Game 7 of the 2001 World Series. The bastard took Peyton Manning from me in this year's fantasy draft. But, I also know as <i>The Franchise</i> he's never been Lily White in any of this.

Make your own peace with drugging the man, but as I said, in our business we're corrected on the streets, and in my book (the one without the helpful illustrations.) you've just been the nut guarding the exit with a big stick.

It's a violent game that we play and if you want to wash your hands of it, that's fab man. But understand this Mike, you don't have to create your own religion to be forgiven. No one man can, or should want to change the world. Greatness happens, people are inspired, when a man makes the change within. You handle yourself, and mountains will move. When men try to control masses and situations they can't change, that's when they lose touch with themselves.

As a friend take this to heart, I worry that you're seeking salvation without understanding that you were saved sometime before.

I always laugh at people when they look at me like I'm crazy for saying you're collecting on the dinner I owe you that night. As if Mike Randalls in front of Joey Melton with a knife, fork, and spoon at arms reach is a T.O.D. waiting to happen.

There's some people in this business that wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire, but that's okay, I deemed long ago they weren't worthy of my respect. That's just my judgment, but I go by what I see. You treat me fairly, I'll return the favor. But Mike, you've never judged a book by it's cover. You've let me paint with my own brush, and at the end of the day wanted to know what the meaning of the piece was.

Have I ever interfered in your matches? Have I ever blinded you from behind to further my own career?


I haven't not because I feared the response. I've had my ass kicked a hundred times and laughed about it on the way home. If I was afraid of failing I'd be a right mess.

I didn't because your mind was always open.

If you're doing this because of how you were brought up, Randalls you've come to the wrong place to make amends. Write a book, go on Oprah, or see Carlton's shrink. Do anything but ask a rock to be a feather.

Know the score.

I haven't lived in your shoes, as you haven't lived in mine. We've talked. The **** you've been through is messed up. I can't imagine. But who's to say what you've been through doesn't give you the advantage? Embrace life man. Taste the Choshu before it runs away.

The Presidential Suite.....it's how I deal.

Maybe that means I'm going to hell. Maybe. But, chasing choshu is my peace of mind.

What's yours? Do you honestly have one?

Joey Melton's not going half-serious to help Mike find the inner Randalls....despite GUNS' accusations I'm not quite that happy.

I just...want no excuses when we go double or nothin' in Chicago. (Melton smiles.)

One more time....to the top?

Don't kid yourself Randalls...Merritt's playing a different tune. You and I don't have his faith that we can still sell.

It's Southern's world, and Ryan's.

I can roll.

Because in the game of life, Randalls...it's all about how you treat yourself. At the end of the day, if I can look myself in the mirror and know I left nothing behind, and entertained the common people thoroughly, and <B><I>STILL</B></i> swam in a river of Chou, then yeah...the hand I'm holding is 4 Aces.

Chicago...it's not for old-times sake, or another ride to the great big blue.

It's just a day Randalls.

A good one if you can walk away knowing you were true to yourself.

I'll be there as well, we'll let the moment dictate the style we respond to, and afterwards...The Presidential Suite door will be unlocked for you.

Cause to me...life is the greatest when the "spoils" are giving back.



Jan 1, 1970
"You know me, Joey...in whatever I do, I won't let something like limits tie me down. For any man or woman that wished to see where the body could take them, they only needed to walk my path for a day."

(FADEIN: 'The Wolf' Mike Randalls - still at the lake, sitting cross-legged...it's the hour of Dawn...or in Joey's world - the power hour.)

"But not you Joey, unlike many others - you weren't the wish, you were the dream - able to walk a path similar to mine. You've done it all, from the ends of the earth to all the secret gardens - you've tasted the fruits from 'lasting the hour'. You've suckled at the sweet nectar of personal success."

"What can the women say? You can never outlast anything off the clock."

"Legends aren't made to be spit on Joey, they burn to ignite the Southerns and Ryans into what they SHOULD be."

"This is their world? Look at them...squabbling, pestering, playing petty games - all because there isn't one TRUE king. All because no man is strong enough to fight back against the tides of jealousy and pride. Its their world, Joey...and I'm ashamed to have been the one that helped spawn it."

"In the ring, out of the ring - it won't matter. For your words ring true, my friend...its not about what I've taken from this sport in 8 years, its NOW about what I can give BACK."

"I have not faded into the sunset, yet. As you will see there is only the Next Dawn on the horizon. Eight years, I ruled with an ironclad fist. Eight years, where I saw fit - I'd take such a thing as man's dignity and snap it within my grasp. Street Justice served by a blind man, how fitting."

"I have no need to play that game anymore. I'll leave that to the Windhams, Ryans and Southerns to figure out. If they wish to hold onto that World title to relieve the insecurities of their manhood - then that's all it will represent. Until they take the steps that you or Evan Aho have, their petty needs have no bearing on the monumental task in front of me."

"We are the kings, Joey. We've always been the riders. Not because of any accomplishment, but only in the way that we carry ourselves and the power to influence generation upon generation that follow our path. A CSWA World Title match or a match against Mike Randalls, where does a win hold more intrinsic value these days?"

"Yet, the stewards hold the keys to the hall. Alone, we walk in exile - each in search of the opiate which helps us sleep at night."



"Both are found in acts of desperation, my friend."

"But whether you return to the suite, while I return to the den - we both only return when we have left all there is to leave behind...two peas in a pod, two shooting stars burning the night sky."

"You question my motives, yet praise me for having the open mind to see the 1,000 words your pictures represent. Why won't you do me the same honor, my friend? Why can you not accept that it is my time to right the wrongs I've committed."

"Remember your longest night? My gifts are golden, but when it is I who take the 'spoils' there is no road to recovery."

"No man deserves a hole in his knee, no man deserves the Longest Night. Whether they were frauds or not, it wasn't ever my place to serve justice - it should've been our place to enforce it."

"Roll like a stone, I'm coming home to you."

"I'm not doing this for the way I was brought up, there wouldn't be enough blood to spill for that resentment ever to leave. I come to make amends to this sport, Joey...and for eight years, how much MORE I could've given it."

"I've just turned 30, and here 8 years later - you're the wise sage, while I'm the man in perpetual crisis. It wasn't anything easy to predict, but it isn't hard to see. Paths don't have to walk in straight lines, they may come in full circles - the key is to keep moving without hesitation."

"It's not another 'day' for me, Joey - I don't care who's calling the tunes, here...when we step in that ring, it's our set...it's our encore. I don't doubt you're ready, I only hope for your 'another day' - you make it one worth remembering years from now. Holding up our ends shouldn't be the question, how far we will go - should be."

"No excuses?"

"I wouldn't utter that phrase if you drove a stake through my leg."

"No Joey, I only regret. I'm not washing my hands of the blood I've spilled - I'm just taking the time to clean the walls I stained. No longer do I stand by the Exit pushing those I deem unworthy out the door, now I stand by the wall making sure the degenerates don't piss on it while I clean it."

"It's not glamourous, its not going to get me Choshu as much as you - but what's a man to do in exile? I don't have a Presidential suite to walk home to at night. I only have myself, my den, the ring...and eight years of taking everything from this sport that I wanted."



"Two words I should be the last man to understand...but here I sit trying to explain why I do. My pictures have never been pretty, but hopefully they leave an impression."

"It was never a question of being true to ourselves, it was never a question of if Merritt would let us ride. Greatness is inherit, Melton. We don't take a backseat to anyone."

(well not in THAT sense)

"Primetime and Chicago - the night Mike Randalls starts giving back."

"Desperation never looked so good."


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