The camera fades into a view from the passenger seat of a 1997 Jeep Cherokee focusing on a man that you suddenly recognize as Johnny Styles. Styles seems to be paying no attention to the camera, but he is wearing another witty t-shirt that reads “My girlfriend says abstinence……I say procrastination.” He glances over to the camera and gives a quick smile and thumbs up. Quickly his attention is focused back on the road before swerving off into a light post. The camera pans to a view of out the passenger window and you can see that you’re driving through a downtown metropolitan area. A feeble voice picks up from the back seat…..
Feeble Voice: Johnny, where the heck are you taking us?! This is supposed to be your time to address Mark Wood! The man that has refused to even comment on your up coming match at Onslaught! You should use this opportunity, tell him how it is! And also, as your manager, I demand to know where we are going….and why I didn’t get shotgun!!
“Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles throws his manager a sideways glance…
Styles: Listen up Julius, you may be my manager, but this is my show, and I’m doing things my style…got it? And you didn’t get shotty because, well...you said it! This is MY time! Right? But I will tell you where we’re going! Its one of my favorite hang outs, a dance club sorta place really. This one time, I saw a gal do a thing with another girl that you wouldn’t believe! If I hadn’t seen it myself, I wouldn’t have believed it!
The car finally comes to a complete halt. The camera zooms in on a hot pink neon sign that reads “Naughty Nick’s Boom Boom Room”.
Styles: GXW, Welcome to my favorite hang out! I figured, if I’m going to compete here in GXW, I better be in high spirits!
Licious: YOU BROUGHT A GXW CAMERA MAN TO THE BOOM BOOM ROOM!?!?! What if there are children watching?! How is anyone supposed to take you seriously!
Styles: Relax, I’m just going to bust out some of my hot moves, and then we’ll get going alright? They know me around here; I dance like a fiend and mack on all the hot mamas!
A taller woman approaches the car wearing fishnet stockings and a short mini skirt…..she bangs on the drivers side window and Styles rolls it down…
Styles: Can I help you?
Woman: So, you wanna do a little role play this time? Huh Johnny boy?
Styles: Um….really…I…uh…don’t have any idea what you are talking about. In fact, I don’t even know you!
Styles looks at the camera, and flashes a cheap smile, then returns to the woman.
Woman: Just so you know my rates increased by…..
Before the woman has a chance to finish, “Mr. Irresistible” peels out of there and is quickly driving off.
Styles: Julius, maybe you were right. The Boom Boom Room is a bad idea. .
Julius: Coming to your senses now?
Styles: Something like that. Something Mark Woody Woodchuck should do as well. I’ve been here in GXW for a short time, but I’ve learned a couple lessons. First, if you’re as fantastically talented as I am, you should flaunt it. Second, if you want to get ahead in this business, your going to have to bust your as*. I’ve been all up and down the GXW locker rooms, trying to catch a glimpse of Mark Wood, but he is nowhere to be found. He has literally gone into hiding, but it’s ok. Mark, if you are watching this, I was hoping I could give you some encouragement. You see, even though your going to lose at Onslaught….
Styles give a big juicy thumbs up
Styles: …you really shouldn’t be too embarrassed. After all, you’re just the first of many GXW superstars who will fall before my remarkable talents. And during our debut match, I’m going to give you the beating no one has ever even dreamed of. People will call it “The Wood” for short. GXW superstars will beg for mercy before me, “Please Mr. Styles, not The Wood…anything but The Wood!” *snicker* It sounded good in my head…and better out loud!!
Styles looks off into the distance, while Julius smacks his forehead.
Styles: Hey, and after I beat you, if your still embarrassed, and you decide to quit GXW, I’m sure I could hook you up with a good job at the “Boom Boom Room”! I’m sure you would like it, and with a name like “Wood” *snicker* I’m sure they would love to have you aboard! GET IT? A BOARD! LIKE WOOD!?!
Styles begins to laugh so hard that he actually pees his own pants.
Styles: WHOA! I ….uh…gotta go. Ummm…..BYE!
Styles jumps out of his jeep, and Julius is barely able to get control of the vehicle before running into a 1992 Honda Civic. The camera looks at Julius who has a stunned look on his face. Both the camera man and Julius look in the rearview mirror to see Johnny running down the street, briefly stopping to talk to a prostitute who looks at him awkwardly. Johnny begins to run again, the woman looks right, then left, then begins to run after Johnny. The screen then fades to black with white lettering that reads “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles: A hottie with a naughty body.