eyoung
League Member
(Confederate Flag covers your entire TV screen as Charlie Daniels Band "South’s Gonna Do It Again" blares much louder than the rest of the show and even the tuned up commercials….. fade into Eddy Love at the Columbia, SC Confederate War Memorial. Love is wearing a muscle T-shirt made of the Confederate battle flag with a Playboy bunny head emblazoned on the front. For the first time Love’s hair is exposed…. It’s been months now so it’s no longer bald, but certainly not the golden locks you have masturbated to over the last 5 years…. Cropped, and unkept would describe his current platinum hairdo)
LOVE: Funny (pauses, while rubbing his hands together, then through his short hair as if he thought it still was shoulder length)
How things happen……..(pauses, looking into the camera for the first time)
Funny…. What people think….. perception is so far from what really matters in professional wrestling….. and the proof of that is the supposed latest climax to this feud….. the Claimstakers and the Playboys
Lord knows no one hates to be perceived as vain more than Hurricane Eddy, The Southern Dandy, LEGEND KILLER, IF YOU WILL ….. but look at what the CSWA has dealt me….. EDDY LOVE *MADE* Kevin Powers a star….. EDDY LOVE * MADE* Steve Radder a star…… EDDY LOVE ran the most feared stable, the famed Corporation, from his sport, single handedly….. and Eddy Love was befriended by the only man who has ever, and *I* mean ever had any chance of matching Hurricane Eddy when it comes to in ring skill (pauses, slapping his hands together, then folding them together in a double ax handle pose) ….. my best friend Big Daddy T…….. the King of All Slackers….. the King of All Media……. A better friend than my black Labrador, more reliable than my Presidential Rolex on my wrist and most importantly the only man who equals yours truly in raw talent…. TROY WINDHAM…..
and what screams as funny to me……. For all I have done for the CSWA….. for all that Troy has done……..our defining moment was to be when these three giants of our sport……. Three *LEGENDS* if you will….. were drawn together…… to STAKE THEIR CLAIM…. And Eddy Love was to be judged by whether he could stop them…….. FUNNY thing was I knew from day one alone I could stop them…… when Troy Windham came back to my side, I knew we could stop anyone…. And we wanted to be judged by this so called unstoppable alliance, the Triumvirate….. WE versus They……. The Claimstakers…….. Randy Michaels (Love pauses, grins, then loses the grin and stares menacingly towards the camera) NO…. Mike Randalls, Eli Flair and THAT DAMN Hornet, the world promised that that was the new measuring stick….. lets see how that has gone…… (Love begins to count off on his fingers as he looks to the sky thoughtfully) even before they stopped themselves as it is apparent they will do
Cardigo took our side and scored the final pinfall with the piledriver heard round the world…… Troy clean pins Eli …. Hurricane Eddy clean pins Hornet after whipping Cardigo in the three way….. Love has the clean pin set for Randalls, before Randalls changes the OBJECTIVE…… and now……….
The so called greatest alliance in our sports history……. Three men who let’s face it folks would all give their right testicle for JJ Deville’s job…. Have begun to bicker among themselves about whose fault it is that the Playboys kick their ass every time they pull their out of date tights over their outdated asses….. well I beg you America, judge me by this feud….. I know Melissa is still gone from our sport because of Flair, I know Troy still occasionally can only bag three hotties in a night because of the injuries from the Flair match and I know that my hair, as good as it looks today( runs his finger through his hair), is shorter because of Mike Randalls….. but would someone please tell these three jackasses that at some point they have to pin someone a little higher on the totem pole than Steve Radder and Kevin Powers if they are to be Troy and myselve’s measuring stick……..
7 years ago you judged wrestlers by how they stacked up against Troy Windham…… 4 years ago the world recognized myself as the measuring stick, as I compared myself to my hero, Big Daddy T…… and today…… in 2001 does anyone really think that the Claimstakers have passed the measuring stick of 7 years ago…… can any fan say that Randalls, Hornet or Flair deserve to be any more than who the Playboys face tonight…… if they’ve staked their claim in the last year then their claimhas always been second fiddle to Big Daddy T and myself….. ARE THEY ANY MORE??????
NO, hellllllll NO…. what you have with these three is two overbloated egos, who are overshadowed by one inferiority complex, and they don’t even like themselves, so they sure as hell can’t like each other….
Flair………… Hornet ……….. and you Mike Randalls (Love points at the screen)……. Despite rumors that yall would dominate this sport….. it’s still a Playboy’s world…… they’re alllllllllllll still Playboys Girls…… and sixth verse same as the first, it’s still Playboys plenty, Claimstakers none.
BUT DON"T FOOL YOURSELVES WRESTLING FANS…….. Troy and myself do have fears….. we know that someday….. not someday soon but someday…. Promoters and fans will realize we only have one equal…… and on that day we must make sure our enormous friendship dwarfs our unequaled desire to be remembered as the best….. because when you talk about the greatest of all time….. you list Windham and Love as one and one A….. then you skip past 2…….3…..4…..5….6….7….8 and start listing these other hacks like Randalls, Hornet, Flair and Radder……………IT"S A PLAYBOY WORLD, and whether your name is Joe Fan or Mike Randalls….. YOU KNOW IT
LOVE: Funny (pauses, while rubbing his hands together, then through his short hair as if he thought it still was shoulder length)
How things happen……..(pauses, looking into the camera for the first time)
Funny…. What people think….. perception is so far from what really matters in professional wrestling….. and the proof of that is the supposed latest climax to this feud….. the Claimstakers and the Playboys
Lord knows no one hates to be perceived as vain more than Hurricane Eddy, The Southern Dandy, LEGEND KILLER, IF YOU WILL ….. but look at what the CSWA has dealt me….. EDDY LOVE *MADE* Kevin Powers a star….. EDDY LOVE * MADE* Steve Radder a star…… EDDY LOVE ran the most feared stable, the famed Corporation, from his sport, single handedly….. and Eddy Love was befriended by the only man who has ever, and *I* mean ever had any chance of matching Hurricane Eddy when it comes to in ring skill (pauses, slapping his hands together, then folding them together in a double ax handle pose) ….. my best friend Big Daddy T…….. the King of All Slackers….. the King of All Media……. A better friend than my black Labrador, more reliable than my Presidential Rolex on my wrist and most importantly the only man who equals yours truly in raw talent…. TROY WINDHAM…..
and what screams as funny to me……. For all I have done for the CSWA….. for all that Troy has done……..our defining moment was to be when these three giants of our sport……. Three *LEGENDS* if you will….. were drawn together…… to STAKE THEIR CLAIM…. And Eddy Love was to be judged by whether he could stop them…….. FUNNY thing was I knew from day one alone I could stop them…… when Troy Windham came back to my side, I knew we could stop anyone…. And we wanted to be judged by this so called unstoppable alliance, the Triumvirate….. WE versus They……. The Claimstakers…….. Randy Michaels (Love pauses, grins, then loses the grin and stares menacingly towards the camera) NO…. Mike Randalls, Eli Flair and THAT DAMN Hornet, the world promised that that was the new measuring stick….. lets see how that has gone…… (Love begins to count off on his fingers as he looks to the sky thoughtfully) even before they stopped themselves as it is apparent they will do
Cardigo took our side and scored the final pinfall with the piledriver heard round the world…… Troy clean pins Eli …. Hurricane Eddy clean pins Hornet after whipping Cardigo in the three way….. Love has the clean pin set for Randalls, before Randalls changes the OBJECTIVE…… and now……….
The so called greatest alliance in our sports history……. Three men who let’s face it folks would all give their right testicle for JJ Deville’s job…. Have begun to bicker among themselves about whose fault it is that the Playboys kick their ass every time they pull their out of date tights over their outdated asses….. well I beg you America, judge me by this feud….. I know Melissa is still gone from our sport because of Flair, I know Troy still occasionally can only bag three hotties in a night because of the injuries from the Flair match and I know that my hair, as good as it looks today( runs his finger through his hair), is shorter because of Mike Randalls….. but would someone please tell these three jackasses that at some point they have to pin someone a little higher on the totem pole than Steve Radder and Kevin Powers if they are to be Troy and myselve’s measuring stick……..
7 years ago you judged wrestlers by how they stacked up against Troy Windham…… 4 years ago the world recognized myself as the measuring stick, as I compared myself to my hero, Big Daddy T…… and today…… in 2001 does anyone really think that the Claimstakers have passed the measuring stick of 7 years ago…… can any fan say that Randalls, Hornet or Flair deserve to be any more than who the Playboys face tonight…… if they’ve staked their claim in the last year then their claimhas always been second fiddle to Big Daddy T and myself….. ARE THEY ANY MORE??????
NO, hellllllll NO…. what you have with these three is two overbloated egos, who are overshadowed by one inferiority complex, and they don’t even like themselves, so they sure as hell can’t like each other….
Flair………… Hornet ……….. and you Mike Randalls (Love points at the screen)……. Despite rumors that yall would dominate this sport….. it’s still a Playboy’s world…… they’re alllllllllllll still Playboys Girls…… and sixth verse same as the first, it’s still Playboys plenty, Claimstakers none.
BUT DON"T FOOL YOURSELVES WRESTLING FANS…….. Troy and myself do have fears….. we know that someday….. not someday soon but someday…. Promoters and fans will realize we only have one equal…… and on that day we must make sure our enormous friendship dwarfs our unequaled desire to be remembered as the best….. because when you talk about the greatest of all time….. you list Windham and Love as one and one A….. then you skip past 2…….3…..4…..5….6….7….8 and start listing these other hacks like Randalls, Hornet, Flair and Radder……………IT"S A PLAYBOY WORLD, and whether your name is Joe Fan or Mike Randalls….. YOU KNOW IT