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The Wrestling Chronicle's WNW Report- 10/25/06

Yori Yakamo jr

League Member
Jun 4, 2005
Nutmeg State
Live from Athens, Ohio
By Matt Burke

Big story coming out of Athens, which I cannot confirm right now, but if my source is right, we will find out on the show. People already e-mailing me to say the building is only about half full, but it is a 10,000-seat arena and Ohio was never a hotbed for MBE in the old days. They apparently got to run the building on the cheap, since Yamada’s youngest daughter (not the one Yori knocked up) went to college here, and he has been a big contributor.

Some big money matches tonight, and shockingly, most of them are in the loser’s bracket of the title tourney. Tonight may be a litmus test on who can carry the ball when called upon, so I’ll be interested to see how that shakes out.

We hit the airwaves, credits, pyro, crowd shots. You know the deal.


The ring is littered with whips and chains; so I guess we are gonna jump headlong into the title tourney and Yori’s magical wrestling funhouse. AJ’s comments on my radio show about the direction of MBE were not just angle hype, he has been upset for a while now. Add that to his accusations of Andy taking liberties with him in the ring at the PPV and you have a really big mess on your hands. Be interesting to see how this match plays out.

Red is out first. No elaborate entrance this week, as Red is in full come as you are streetfight mode. He does look a wee bit paranoid, though, as I count four glances over his shoulder on the way to ringside. If I were him, I would have installed GPS trackers into each of the Lot, cause you know they are thinking about that Bounty pretty much 24/7. AJ is out next and he is still pretty heavily bandaged. He looks pissed off as hell, too (well, moreso than usual). The ref tries to get the two of them chained up, but AJ isn’t having any of it. Red finally just hauls off and tackles AJ to the canvas, a few short elbows and Red is gonna put the collar on AJ himself. AJ frees himself with a low blow and he starts choking Red with the chain. The ref tries to get the collar on AJ again, but AJ shoves the ref away and grabs a paddle, which he proceeds to just shatter over Red’s head. Red is in a bad way. AJ finally straps himself into the collar and the ref calls for the bell. AJ immediately goes for the pin, but only gets two.

AJ begins to pound on Red with the chain wrapped around his fist. Red is fighting back, but getting the worst of it by far. AJ finally introduces a wrestling move, as he drops Red with a DDT on one of the stiletto heels. Red starts to bleed, and he hit a good one. Doc is gonna be pissed Red is stealing his act. Red finally turns the tide, ducking a chain-assisted clothesline and hitting a neckbreaker. He wraps the chain around his arm to pull in AJ tight and starts hitting some short headbutts. Yeesh, Red ain’t holding back. AJ is clearly feeling the effects, nice sell job on the after effects of the PPV match. AJ counters with a snap European uppercut that dazes Red long enough for AJ to sneak a Northern Lights Suplex in. He bridges, but only gets two AJ goes for the whip, but Red grabs it as well and the two tussle over it. Red hits another headbutt and wrests it free but eats an enzuigiri and both men are down. The crowd was cool at first, but is slowly coming around to these two guys beating the **** out of each other. They both come up with a handful of chain and start laying in the wood. AJ is stumbling around and can’t keep up with Red’s fisticuffs. Red charges for a discus punch, but AJ back drops him onto the apron. And here’s our hanging spot. Red ‘s legs get swept out from under him, and he is in a bad way. AJ is really jerking back on that chain. Red skins the cat(!) And pulls AJ out onto the apron with a headscissors. That was impressive. AJ sets Red for a Thunder Clap, but Red backdrops AJ off the apron. Ouch. Just a sickening bump. Red reaches back into the ring for a fragment of the shattered paddle and he is carving AJ up with it. Man, and this is on at 9 o clock. AJ won’t quit though and frees himself with a length of chain. Both men are bleeding now. The two finally make it back into the ring and Red is whipping AJ with a leather cat o’ nine tails. Wonder if that is from Yori’s personal collection.

Red heads up top with the stiletto heel., but AJ has it scouted and catches Red with a chain punch to the stomach. He drags Red to the top with him. Looking for a top rope Thunder Clap. No! Red drives the heel right into AJ’s unmentionables. That looked…uncomfortable. Red’s got AJ hooked in pumphandle position. TOP ROPE BAD COMPANY. AJ is down! That is it right there.

WINNER: IRISHRED (Top-Rope Bad Company- 9:47)

Brawl was short and sweet. Had the aura of a real fight, which is always good in matches like this. Would have liked to see a little more energy considering it was an elimination match, but solid opener.

Backstage we go and it’s the Lot. They are bemoaning the fact that they have nothing to do at WNW but get drunk and eat corn dogs. Which they do. Mostly get drunk. Mac doesn’t want to wait for Total Elimination, live on PPV, he wants to get into it with those DAMN THRILLBILLIES right now. Nate reminds him, with a whisper into his ear, of course, that such an action would cost them their tag title shot, and we can’t have that. After all, tag titles are worth a lot of money at Fitzy’s Crisps and Pawn Shop. I see someone is from the Yori Yakamo school of title belt dealings. They just wish someone could put those Billies in their place, but who? Well, maybe that next pint will get you your answer, boys. And how the heck did they smuggle a keg onto a college campus? This WNW is just full of questions.



Biff Bentley is backstage with Andy Gilkison. Andy says he is disappointed that he lost to Silver last week, but the bastard beat him fair and square and he’s not gonna dwell on it. He’s just going to kick Promo’s ass, and there is no better panacea for last week’s loss than that. Biff gets halfway through his next question when a bunch of security and Pas come running through in a big hurry. Like any good intrepid reporter, Biff follows the story, leaving Andy a little cranky. Biff follows the crew into Irishred’s dressing room down the hall. The place has been trashed and Red is lying in a heap, with the remnants of a chair draped around his neck. Someone decided to collect on the bounty, evidently. Biff tries to get a comment from Red, but the EMTs arrive on the scene and shove Biff out the door. Poor little first amendment. And can we have a week go by where Red doesn’t get carted out of the building on a stretcher?

Down to the ring for our next match as Jock McCrunk tries to continue his winning ways against one half of the Thrillbiliies, Jake McCody. At least MBE finally figured out that if you are gonna put half of a tag team in a singles match, pick the one that can actually wrestle. It’s a classic match up of speed vs. PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE to start. McCody has a really nice looking huricanrana. Jock almost gets a hanging armbar out of nowhere, but McCody manages to toss Jock into the turnbuckle to extract himself from the hold. Ooh, McCody went for a springboard dropkick while Jock was on the apron, but Jock slapped it down and followed with a slingshot double knee drop right into Jake’s kidneys. Nasty.

Jock in control now and he is roughing Jake up pretty good. He seems to be breaking down Jake’s jaw. I don’t think that is one of Gorilla Monsoon’s points of balance, but whatever. Jake nearly gets knocked through the ropes with a gnarly roaring elbow, but the Thrillbilly has some fight left in him and ducks a second roaring elbow and hits ye old superkick. Both men are down. Jock is up first. Irish whip but McCody hits a high speed dropkick on his way back. Jake goes for a jawbreaker, but Jock counters with a kick downstairs. Crowd didn’t like that one. Pimp Smack is countered with a leg trip and Jake floats over and almost steals one. Jock out at 2.9 though. Jake hits the jawbreaker this time and heads up top. And here come a bunch of hoo…umm, people in ski masks and soccer jerseys. I just had about ten people e-mail me to point out those are Sheffield United Jerseys, the arch rivals of Sheffield Wednesday. So it couldn’t possibly be the Lot. Even though one of them is wearing a motorcycle helmet over his ski mask. The short one and the Korean one distract the ref, while the third hits Jake with his motorcycle helmet. Jock is confused, but not so much that he doesn’t hit the Pimp Smack and call it a day’s work.

WINNER: JOCK MCCRUNK (7:31- Pimp Smack)

Well, first off, I hope MBE never again books Jake and Jock in the same match, that’s just a nightmare to keep straight at 70 wpm. Otherwise, fun little match with Jake taking a good beating and dishing out some fun comebacks. And this angle with the Lot gets better ever week. Not that it was the Lot, since it so clearly was their archrivals.

The Sheffield United Lot stomp on Jake some more before Hoss and Jimmy Donovan arrive to chase off Not The Sheffield Wednesday Lot.


Back from Commercial and The Billies and Donovan burst into the Lot’s locker room. The three sit around, playing pinochle, and invite the Billies in for a pint. Jake is taking no guff and says he knows what they were up to, and describes their attack. The Lot is convinced it was the dastardly work of their archenemies the Sheffield United Lot. Who have to wear ski masks to hide their ugly faces, because they are so ugly, you see.They almost caught those dirty wankers, but the bastards ran away. They did rip their jerseys off though, and are currently burning them in the bathroom. I’m sure that is some kind of fire hazard. Hoss is about to beat the crap out of Mac, but Mac reminds them that if they lay a finger on them, they will lose their tag team titles, and besides, they can’t prove anything. Yes, where is Matlock when you need him? Is Matlock even still alive? Hoss promises vengeance at an unspecified future date. Mac says he looks forward to such an occasion of fisticuffs and sees the Billies off.


A promo package airs for Larry the Luddite. Yeah, this is gonna be…interesting.

Next up, some PPV hype for Total Elimination featuring a litany of great moments from MBE title matches over those years.

Finally back to ringside for our second elimination match. Mr. Gilkison, meet Mr. Promo. Even in Ohio, the citizenry hates Promo. Of course, wearing the buckeye hoodie probably doesn’t hurt. Those things cost like 100 bucks at the school store, too. That is dedication to one’s craft. Promo makes it about halfway down the ramp and through about a dozen ‘shut up, fatboys’ before Andy runs out from the back and tackles him on the ramp. And it’s on! Andy tries to extract his pound of flesh from Promo’s face which he mashes into the rampway a few times. Promo fires some elbows back to stun Andy and then flips the Gilkinator over and lays in the haymakers. The two roll around and end up falling off the ramp and onto the barricade. Promo drops Andy throat first on the barricade and almost gets the Fadeout, but Andy counters by backing Promo into the rampway repeatedly to break free. Promo gets a bit of his own medicine and gets hotshotted on the barricade as well. Andy goes for a clothesline, but Promo ducks and backdrops Andy into the crowd.

Promo follows over the barricade and security tries to clear some space, with a small modicum of success. Andy and Promo are just swinging for the fences as they brawl through the crowd. Promo bodyslams Andy into a pile of currently unoccupied chairs, and gets the first pin attempt of the match. Andy is out at two, though. Promo advances but Andy comes up swinging, with a chair to be specific, Promo is rocked. Another chair shot knocks the Underground Icon to the concrete. Andy puts the chair over Promo’s head and lands a leg drop. That gets two. Promo is a tough bastard. Andy is wasting no time, and goes for the Coup de grace. Promo slips out of the Andybomb, though, and lands behind Andy. He goes for a german suplex, but the Gilkinator counters with a victory roll. Nothing says hardcore like a victory roll. Promo is out at two. Promo goes for the chait, but Andy ducks the chair shot and destroys Promo with a lariat. He piles about ten chairs on top of Promo and heads up to the rampway. He dives off with a huge frogsplash! Jesus, that was INSANE! And gets a much deserved replay with Phantasmo breaking out the TELESTRATOR! (“This is where Andy thought, I am a crazy bastard. And this is where Promo thought, hey, four of my ribs are about to be broken.” ). Andy just crushed Promo and the pile of chairs. Andy clutches his ribs and then his injured knee, but manages to find the wreck of Promo under the furniture shrapnel and covers for the three as the crowd chants his name.

WINNER: ANDY GILKISON (Frogsplash- 6:18)

Well, that was a pretty convincing victory for the Gilkinator. Be interesting to see what they do with the Real World Champ now. Not quite as good a match as the first elimination match, but certainly as violent, and that spot was insane.

Yori and Justin prep for Justin’s match with Jogi Fresh. They are trying to program ROBOYORI to fight like Jogi Fresh, and have even taped a blown-up headshot of the Fresh one to the YORobot’s head, meanwhile a bunch of Thai Hookers fan off the Hobo, who sits on a throne overlooking the proceedings, eating a meatball grinder. You know what, I don’t think I can recap this segment…

…It ends with the YORobot dancing. There ya go.


We come back inside Yamada’s office, where the big boss addresses the audience. He has two big announcements to make. The first, and he looks so happy to be announcing this, is that Japanese wrestling legend ‘A’ will be at the Total Elimination PPV and will be making a special appearance and wrestling an exhibition match against Ryuji Yakamo. In other news, Yamada is pleased to announce the second inductee into the MBE Hall of Fame. The man who put MBE on the map and took it from dingy bars and Elks lodges all the way to the tope. A man, without whom, MBE would never have made it. That man is SUPTOOL!


A nice montage of Suptool moments from the old days. Sup probably gets a bit more credit than he deserves for MBE, but Yamada’s comments are far from hyperbole, and he did lay the groundwork for MBE’s ascension, even if he wasn’t around for it’s days at the top. A very good choice. Two more inductees to go. One should be pretty obvious. The other should be obvious, too, but we all know that ain’t happening.

Oh, and since people keep asking me, the ‘A’ thing is only half a joke. Yamada is clearly the bigger worldwide star, but ‘A’ is huge in Japan due to being an Olympic amateur wrestler in his youth, (missed a bronze medal at the 88 games by two points), and for retiring PbPro legend Lion Akage. He and Yamada have been rivals their whole careers, and really dislike each other. As for where they are going with the angle, I have no idea, as everyone is super mum on it, and that is an order that seems to be coming straight from Yamada and Yori.

Biff is backstage with Duchess. She’s had men call her a slut, insult her taste in shoes, deride her for being a woman in a man’s world, but no one has pissed her off quite like Doc Silver. She’s made a career out of proving men like him wrong, and she is more than ready to teach him that hell hath no fury like a woman who’s fed up with an over the hill, arrogant, whiny little poker player. Just then another deliveryman shows up with a box of Godiva chocolates for Duchess. The card says “GOOD LUCK FOR DUCHESS.” Duchess comments that it’s her favorite, but she probably shouldn’t have all that sugar before her match. So she’ll just have to have one to celebrate after her victory. Biff presses her on the identity of this admirer, but she says if Biff finds out he should let her know.

Jogi is walking! The Entourage is walking! Jogi and Justin is up next.


Back to live action as we head towards the top of the hour. Here’s Justin Evitable. Whoever thought he’d be in this tourney, let alone the winner’s bracket, raise your hand. That’s what I thought. He has looked great since coming back, and is making the most of this opportunity. We’ll see what he can do against Jogi, who is quickly establishing himself as the ace of MBE. Justin and company do a parody of the Gracie Train, as Justin comes out with two Russian hook….pop stars, ROBOYORI, Smitty, Riki Yakamo, Two Thai hook….yep, hookers, a Hobo, and finally Yori Yakamo, jr. Ladies and gentlemen, the Inner sextum. Obviously, they couldn’t get a permit to drive the Yugo to ringside. They are treating this like a big match, though, which is good.

Jogi is out next with the Entourage. Jogi shadow boxes his way to ringside while Jock shouts Jogi’s litany of accomplishments into the camera. Jogi hops into the ring and gets right in Justin’s grill, promising acts of unspeakable violence supposedly. Justin fires back with some promises of pain of his own. The ref separates the two, as Justin adds a few rather vulgar gestures in Jogi’s general direction. Jogi counters with a rather colorful variation on a quote from Road House, that gets liberally bleeped by the censors.

The bell rings and here we go. The crowd is already into both guys, with the still obnoxious dueling chants. Collar and elbow and Jogi tosses Justin to the mat and dusts some imaginary dirt off his shoulder. Justin gets back up and implies a little doggy style sex with Jogi’s sister or something. Jogi laughs. Justin laughs. Justin slaps Jogi in the face. Oooh. It’s on now. Jogi ain’t smiling. He slaps Justin right back and gets forehead to forehead with the Rated ‘R’ Popstar. Collar and elbow and Jogi backs Justin into the corner, no clean break though as he peppers Justin’s body with some jabs. Justin throws the old thumb to the eye. Don’t think that is Marquis of Queensbury rules.

Justin hits a running knee out of the corner and drops Jogi to one knee. Euro uppercut puts the Fresh one on the mat, and Justin has the early advantage. Body slam on His Freshness and Justin drops a knee, with simulated jerking off, and gets a two count. MBE is for teh kidz! Justin slaps on a campana and rocks Jogi’s head repeatedly into the bottom turnbuckle. Does he add some hip thrusting. He sure does. Justin drops Jogi and drives a double stomp into his back. Justin heads up top, but his Tornado DDT is blocked with a nasty snap spinebuster. Jogi grabs the mount and starts raining down punches on Justin.


Jogi drops Justin with a backbreaker and pauses for some simulated ass smacking and a knee drop of his own. Justin is out at two. Jogi slaps on a camel clutch and torques the crap out of Justin’s back. Jock gets up in Justin’s face and tells him to tapout. The Sextum takes offense to that and starts to mix it up with the Entourage a bit. ROBOYORI accidently shoves Jock to the ground while dancing and it’s on! Again! Yori tries to regain control of the situation. Yeah, that’s the man you want for the job, but ends up just grabbing a dildo out of ROBOYORI’s pants and starts conking Entourage members with it. Jogi slips out of the ring to help and knocks the owner down with right cross. He gets jumped by Smitty, who gets tossed over the barricade. Some young co-ed just won themselves a transsexual. Justin dives out with a dropkick through the ropes at Jogi and the two start going at it on the outside. The ref finally sends both retinues to the locker room, and the gangs are more than happy to brawl their way back there. Except for ROBOYORI. He dances.

Jogi reverses an irish whip and sends Justin into the ring steps, hard. He rolls Mr. Evitable into the ring and hops in after him. Irish whip, but Justin avoids a back body drop, handspringing off Jogi’s back and landing on his feet behind the Fresh One. Justin snaps off a German suplex and struts his stuff, with a noticeable limp this time, though. Fresh is up and Justin clotheslines him over the top rope and onto the elevated rampway. Is it crazy stupid dive time. Yay! It’s crazy stupid dive time! Justin hits the far ropes and spaceman’s onto the top rope before leaping onto Jogi with a… HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEE CRAAAAAAAAAAPOLA! TORNADO DDT! The crowd is in shock, Jogi is crushed, Justin is doing the back spasm thing, and that was insane. A replay shows us just how crazy it was in slow mo. Justin almost didn’t make the rotation and could have busted both his knees. We head to commercial with both men out on the rampway.


Back to action and Justin is in control. He has Jogi in a sleeper on the mat, and Jogi looks concussed. A quick replay of Justin getting a near fall off a cradle piledriver catches us up to speed. The ref checks Jogi’s arm, but the Fresh one still has some fight in him. He powers up to his feet, elbows free, throws a few punches, to rock Justin, but Justin hits a snap rana out of nowhere for a near fall. Jogi rolls through, and almost gets a heel hook, but the True Face kicks his way free with a few well-placed shots to Jogi’s dome. Justin quickly hits a Northern Lights Suplex, rolls through and hits an Exploder Suplex to regain control of the match. Well, at least Justin’s moveset is in tune with working the skull. He slaps the sleeper on again and tries to put Jogi out. The ref does the ol’ hand drop spot, but miraculously, Jogi has enough energy in him to get his hand up on the third drop. More elbows, and a flurry of shots on Justin. A Muay Thai knee strike puts Justin down, but Jogi collapses from exhaustion, too. Jogi is up first, narrowly beating the ref’s ten count, and looks for The Freshness, but Justin counters with a DDT! Jogi gets dropped right on his head. Justin covers. No! Jogi is out at two!

Justin wastes no time looking for the After Party, but Jogi slips free and lands behind Justin. The Bixby Stretch! No! Justin slips free. He can’t avoid the powerslam from the Fresh One. Ooh, Justin is out at two. The crowd stomps the floor, urging the wrestlers on. ARMBAR! ****, Justin is in trouble. Nope, he’s close enough to the ropes to get an escape. Yeesh, that was out of nowhere. The crowd was into the near tap, too, must be all that UFC. Jogi hooks Justin up in the Tree of Woe and starts using him as a heavy bag. The ref gets a break and Justin falls face first to the mat. The True face is in trouble. Belly to back suplex puts the True Face down and Jogi is signaling for the Freshness once more. Justin tries for the DDT counter again, but Jogi is ready for it and spears Justin into the corner. FRESHNESS! Justin is down. 1…2….NO! Justin got his arm over the bottom rope. Jogi can’t believe it. He drags Justin into the center of the ring and hooks the leg. No! Justin slips out at two. Jogi can’t believe it. Freshness….No! Justin blocks it. Kick to the jimmies (with a helpful ‘look over there’ for the ref’
SKEETBOARD! He just cracked Jogi right in the face. Cover…No! Jogi is out at two! Justin looks for the After Party again, but he can’t get Jogi up. Jogi slips out, backslide! Got him! Jogi escapes with the flash pin. Justin looks just sick. He tries to convince the ref that it was only two, but he knows he just got beat.

WINNER: JOGI FRESH (16:22- Backslide)

Jogi offers Justin a handshake after the match, but Justin is having none of it, he says he’ll be seeing Jogi again real soon.

Heck of a match, maybe a little too head droppy for me, but the big moves were pretty well-protected for a potential rematch. Jogi did a nice job selling the head injury, working a little more methodically then he normally would. Justin came out looking good, and Jogi continues to rack up the wins.

Backstage the Lot is trying to convince Yamada that they took out Irishred, to collect the bounty. They are not sure exactly what happened to Red, but whatever it was, they did it. Yamada isn’t buying it, and tells them that if they drop it right now, he won’t look too hard at the videotape of the attack on Jake McCody and try to pick out any evidence of mustaches or motorcycle helmets (which Nate is still wearing) The Lot acquiesces fairly quickly, but then asks them for an advance on their next paycheck. Yamada asks for what. The Lot just says they have expenses to meet. Ski masks and soccer jerseys…Mac means pints and chips aren’t cheap. Yamada says they need to work on their crafty beatdowns, and just for being complete idiots, they will be seeing Jimmy Donovan, Jogi Fresh and Jock McCrunk in six man action next week. The Lot looks less than happy.


The Lot barely gets out the door before AJ Cirrus comes bursting in. He just found out Yori suspended him from active wrestling. Yamada points out that AJ didn’t tell anyone in the company about his lingering head injuries and faked medical clearance to wrestle, he can’t have that crap going on in his company. AJ says that he and Promo run the show here and they have ironclad contracts. Yamada points out that AJ runs jack and ****, only Promo has an ironclad contract, and he should get the hell out of his office. AJ wonders aloud if he should knock up Yamada’s other daughter and maybe he can get to call the shots around here, too. Oh, that wasn’t too bright. Yamada says if he made a million dollars a year selling sex toys, maybe he could someday own MBE, as it is, he won’t be wrestling in it anymore, cause he’s fired! Big pop for that one.

So yeah, this is mostly true. AJ’s rep backstage has taken a huge hit in recent weeks, and with Promo’s influence waning, Yamada and company have decided to start culling the wheat from the chafe. AJ’s head injuries are also worse than originally thought, so MBE will just pay him to sit on his ass, it looks like. Ah well, can’t say they didn’t try and make it work.


Promo is with Biff and he is more than a little pissed off. He says MBE is trying to screw with him some more. They may have gotten rid of his best friend, but he’s not going anywhere. And the new champ will never be able to sleep at night until he’s faced the real MBE World Champion Promo, so whatever unlucky sap wins this sham of a tourney, Promo will be waiting for him. Biff decides now is a good time to ask Promo is he has been the one sending Duchess presents. Barbara Walters, ya ain’t Biff-o. Promo does refrain from pounding the snot out of Biff, merely backhanding him for his impudence and tossing the mic down on his chest.

Yori awkwardly tries to do paperwork. As we pan down, we see the YORobot has him in a triangle choke with his legs, while his upper body does the swim and Smitty frantically tries to reprogram him. ROBOYORI DANCE! ROBOYORI SMASH! ROBOYORI DANCE! ROBOYORI SMASH!

One more PPV promo, highlighting the Lot/Billies feud

Down to ringside for our main event, looks like they are gonna go long with this one. Risky move, we’ll see how it goes. Duchess is out first and the Ohio crowd gives her a warm welcome. Doc, not so much. Silver stops and sends Greenie and Dority to the back, assuring them that they won’t be needed for this match.




Back to live action and Doc is on the mic. He says that WNW will be going off the air early tonight, since this is the last scheduled match, and he doubts it will take him five minutes to dispose of Duchess. Duchess smiles and invites him into the ring. Doc steps through and Duchess kicks the ring ropes up into his crotch. Aww, Doc. You should have seen that coming. Duchess goes on the attack and she is bringing the fight to Doc. Dutch throws a mean elbow, that she uses to try and straighten Doc’s teeth. Doc’s size advantage allows him to toss Duchess off, before he needs too much dental work. Duchess grabs a schoolboy and Doc is out at two. Oklahoma roll gets two. Small Package gets two. Doc is pooped and he rolls out of the ring for a breather. He takes his sweet time, too, sitting at the announce table till the 9 count and gabbing with Phantasmo.

Back in he goes, and he immediately rolls back out to gab with Phantasmo some more. The crowd is, how you say, not loving either good Doctor right now. Finally Doc is back in the ring and we get a collar and elbow tie-up. Doc backs Duchess into the corner and gives the clean break, wait, no. Oooh, he just broke Duchess’s nail. Quite literally, snapped it right off. Ouch. What a bastard. Doc drop toe holds Duchess out of the corner and STOMPS THE HAND. The crowd is pissed! Doc is the greatest jerk ever. Doc continues to work the hand with a wristlock. And he breaks another nail. Oh man, this is incredible heat. Doc with the Irish whip, Duchess tries and reverse it, no dice, and Doc bites Duchess’s hand. This is getting insane. Duchess counters with an eye rake, and stomps on Doc’s foot. This is like the greatest Three Stooges movie ever, or something. Duchess finally starts the actual wrestling with a running neckbreaker. She lays in the stomps to Doc, just kicking the crap out of him. The crowd is pleased. Doc rolls to the outside again, but this time Duchess follows with a plancha. Huge air on that one. Gonna be tough to pick a spot of the night tonight.

Duchess keeps up the pressure outside, whipping Doc into the barricade and following with a jumping forearm smash. She throws some euro uppercuts and Doc’s momentum takes him into the crowd. Duchess follows as the ref tries to get them back into the ring. Duchess sits Doc in an empty chair and hits a running dropkick. Duchess stops to sign an autograph, before destroying Doc with a spinning heel kick. Both competitors land in a pile of chairs. Duchess is showing a ton of fire and flair in this match. Duchess tries to whip Doc into the barricade again, but Doc reverses it and sends Duchess in hard. Running knee doubles Duchess over in a heap. Hey, Doc’s already started to bleed. This match is just full of surprises. Doc clotheslines Duchess over the barriacade and leaps off the barricade with a guillotine leg drop as Duchess gets back to all fours. Yikes. Duchess took it right on the face there. Yeah that looks a lot dirtier in print than it sounded in my head.

Doc finally gets Duchess back into the ring. Ace’s Full is blocked with another neckbreaker and both Doc and Dutch are down, and for some reason MBE thinks this is a good time to take their last commercial break.


Back in the ring and Doc is in control. A replay catches us up as Doc counters a diving huricanrana with a power bomb. Now he has Duchess in a stretch plum, and is working over the neck and upper back some more. Duchess almost gets out so he switches to a buffalo sleeper and grounds Duchess with a body scissors. The crowd is trying to get behind Duchess, with the ever popular “Let’s Go Duchess clap clap clapclapclap” chant. Duchess seems to respond to this as she rolls Doc onto his back for a two count, but Doc just rolls to the other side and keeps the hold locked in. This gets Duchess closer to the ropes though and she manages to drape her leg over the bottom rope. Doc liberally takes his four and half count to break the hold. Duchess tries to make a comeback, peppering Doc’s leg and midsection with kicks, but Doc catches one and pulls Duchess in for a clothesline.


Two count and Doc is looking for the Ace’s Full again. Duchess pushes off and Doc hits the ropes. Doc ducks a leg lariat and catches Duchess with a jumping knee as she gets back to her feet. He whips Duchess hard into the far turnbuckle follows with a spear. Ace’s FULL! Duchess is out at two! Doc is a little cranky now and he admonishes the ref for his poor performance of his duties. He demonstrates the proper way to count. That allows Duchess to catch Doc with a small package for another close two count. This time Doc thinks the ref counted too fast, and demonstrates the proper speed once more, by slapping the ref upside his face three times. That’s senior referee Lance Thunder, bub. You better not push him around. Doc looks for his signature move, the River, but Duchess snaps off a high speed sunset flip for another close two count. Doc is flummoxed, but drops his head too soon and eats a DDT as Duchess finally looks to take control of the action.

Duchess hits a beautiful missile dropkick for a near fall. She looks for a rana but Doc tosses her back onto her feet. Thumb to the eye. He goes for the ol’ kick to the gut, but Duchess catches it, and hits a dragon screw leg whip and rolls into an ankle lock! Doc is in trouble now and he is screaming in agony. He almost makes the ropes, but Duchess pulls him back into the center of the ring. Doc is about to tap, but finally manages to roll onto his stomach and kick Duchess off. Duchess hits the ropes and grabs a jackknife hold, but again, Doc is out at the last possible moment. The crowd really thought that might be it, and so did I. Duchess tries to roll a schoolboy into an anklelock, but Doc rolls through and hits Duchess with another Ace’s Full Stunner out of nowhere. A second one puts Duchess down and Doc signals for the River. Duchess offers no resistance, but out from the back comes someone in a (mostly singed) Sheffield United Jersey and ski mask. Doc drops Duchess to go after this interloper, but the ref gets between them. Mr. Ski Mask cracks Doc with a dildo behind the ref’s back and Doc tumbles back into a schoolboy from Duchess, who grabs the tights for good measure. Lance Thunder, seeing absolutely nothing funny about this scenario, counts the THREE!

WINNER: DUCHESS (18:53- Schooboy + handful of tights)

The masked man reveals himself, shock of shocks, as Justin Evitable. He raises Duchess’s hand in victory before locking her in for the After Party! Ouch, Duchess got dropped right on her head. Crowd didn’t like that one bit. Dority and Greenie are, as usual, late to the party, but run off Justin Evitable, and try to awaken Doc. To say he is annoyed when he realizes what is going on is an understatement.

We follow Justin out to the parking lot where he hops through the back window of the Yugo, already full of Hookers, sex bots and hoboes with Yori at the wheel. To MEXICO! Yori declares. Smitty reminds him the next show is in Ottawa. Yori wants to go to Mexico first. Smitty says that is not possible. OH WELL, TO OTTAWA!

Fade to black. Logo. Copyright 2006


A lot more wrestling this week. Not a bad match on the show really, and the two winner’s bracket matches were both long and good affairs. The angle advancement continues to be steady, and more Lot is always a good thing. Solid offering, building nicely towards Total Elimination. I’d like to see more clean finishes, especially in the main events, but that’s my only real complaint.


TILL: Great, now I am surrounded by two doctors without PH.D’s
DR. P: Till, you should know by now that I have a PHD in having sexual intercourse with your mother.
DOC: And I have a PHD in filming it and selling it on the internet.

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