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"They've made it easy for Mister Incredible!"

Ian Bishop

League Member
Feb 21, 2015
I rose up from the yellow flowered meadow bare naked as I looked around to my surroundings. In my vicinity I could see the field go on for miles, with one side fenced by a thick green forest. Behind me a mile or so away was a bright red barn with a windmill circling from the high winds coming from the east. Blue birds whistled and flew in the direction of the wind as the white clouds rolled through the blue sky. The yellow meadow would soon be cut off by a beautiful red head, also naked, emerging from the sea of flowers. I stood there, not sure of what to make of this angel like figure, her beauty matched those of the natures next to me. She slowly walked herself over to me as I couldn’t help but examine her figure. Her pale yet smooth looking skin glowed with a small gold, possibly from the field, as her hips moved back and forth with each walk. A small bush was visible in her walk as I glanced upwards to her small, vibrant breasts, with the nipples guarded carefully by her long yet curly coquelicot hair.

She stopped directly in front of my face as she ran her thin fingers through my chest hair and stroked my perfectly combed beard. She didn’t hesitate much longer as she went on her tip toes and locked her pink lips with my own as we began to make love in the middle of the field. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around my toned body before the impact of her jump made me stumble and fall into the flowers. It felt like falling into bed of soft feathered pillows as she sat on top of me, stroking my member as we continued to kiss. I placed my gigantic hands over her breasts, squeezing them as she let out a small moan through her lip, which she bit. She slipped my member inside her as she placed her hands on my chest and began to thrust back and forth, each time the more pleasurable then the next. All of a sudden, as soon as the colorful exchange began, the sky turned black as a ring started to pulsate throughout the region, hurting my head and hers. Suddenly, the redhead disappeared and the whole world turned to darkness.


Startled, I woke up and flung myself out of my bed and fell to the ground, but not before smashing through a thin wooden table that was holding my cutting mirror, lines and cocaine baggies for the morning. The ring I had heard moments ago remerged as I quickly looked around the room to see my cell phone going off next to my bed, with a confused looking blonde woman lying in my bed, naked.

Is everything bien, ma chère?” the woman asked, quickly getting up and wrapping a silk coat around her delicate body, as she spoke again in her super sexy French accent, “you startled me.”

I sighed, laughing almost, “I was having a crazy dream, Renee, about fucking the sexist girl alive,” I winked, staring at her as she blushed a bit. We exchanged a heated kiss before I continued, “But then, my fucking cell phone went off and interrupted the damn thing.”

We can continue,” Renee bit her lip at the thought, “come back to bed.

I glanced at the phone to see who the missed calls were from. I searched through the phone to find the culprit before it was revealed to be from my “spy”, ‘Bobby the Nobody’. I exhaled loudly, running my hands through my thick, long brown hair before looking out of our wooden hut into the cyan ocean of Bora Bora, where Renee Delacroix, my ‘petite amie’, as she’d say, and I were vacationing for about a month now. I could see other vacationers swimming in the beautiful clear water and playing around as I then turned my attention to the clock, which read one o’clock in the afternoon, local time. My stomach growled loudly, causing both of us to laugh, but all of sudden as if the hotel employees heard my stomach internally say ‘I WANT SOME FUCKING FOOD’, three French Polynesian women in grass skirts and golf t-shirts swiftly came into our bedroom with alcoholic drinks out of a coconut with a straw and a delicious three-course breakfast that included eggs, toast, bacon, hash browns… were we in Bora Bora or Canada just now? In between the cups was a letter that had my name on it. Intrigued, my eyebrows cocked as I grabbed the paper and opened it up, revealing a telephone number inside. The number, American, didn’t look familiar to me as I grabbed my cell phone to make the international call to New York. The phone rang a few times before an answer came.

Hello?” the man, with a Bronx accent, said.

Who the fuck is this and why are you seducing me with delicious Canadian food?” I demanded.

Ah, it’s Ian,” the man said, instantly recognizing my voice, or my vernacular, or my cursing, “it’s Bobby.”

Bobby the OCW intern!” I gleamed, “What news do you got?” I grabbed a bite of one of the still sizzling pieces of bacon as Bobby spoke at the speed of light.

Dude! You were right! Everything you thought was right! You could sue the shit out President Dean and OCW!

I wouldn’t let Bobby know my satisfaction, an unknown that I’d probably have killed after I was done with him, but I fist pumped the air quietly before reforming my calm demeanor and replying.

Calm the fuck down Bobby,” I cursed, “I would never sue OCW… you and I both know I would never win a legal battle and would probably result in my jailing. So… I need to hurt Dean where it hurts the most… his baby… his creation.”

What’s that exactly?”



It was very early March 1[SUP]st[/SUP], 2015, as the moon shone brightly in the Brazilian air space while the streets of Rio de Janeiro were bouncing with night life. Ladies of the evening and unfaithful men scattered the paved roads as two figures were seen leaving the Golden Tulip Continental hotel and heading for a late night beach stroll. The two figures were revealed to be myself and Renee Delacroix, hands locked as the moon light peeked from out of the clouds to reveal us. I was wearing no shirt with plain black shorts as she wore a thin flower dress with thin sandals as we let the warm Atlantic Ocean water touch our feet. We walked past a few men playing volleyball on the beach and some of them became distracted by the sexiness of my lady. One of them whistled as I turned to face the man but Renee placed her hand on my chest.

Ne vous inquiétez pas about them,” she insisted, pulling on my arm, “let’s enjoy the warm air.”

I turned to walk away until one of the men spoke out.

That’s a vagabunda quente you got there, camarada.” He finished with licking his lips, which I saw by just glancing over my shoulder.

I sighed slightly in my standing stance as I turned and headed straight for the men who began to gather like a posse of Girl Guide scouts around the hotshot.

What the fuck did you say about my girl?” I barked, shoving my face into the face of the tallest of the group, who was clearly a few inches taller than me, “do you know who the fuck I am?”

One of the other men, dressed in yellow shorts, shone his cell phone light in my face to get good glimpse of my bearded face and blue eyes as he immediately backed off.

Dude, não brinque com ele!”

Don’t fuck with him?” the tall man laughed in his Portuguese accent, “why not?”

Remember, we were just at OCW’s Revenge show… that’s the guy who attacked Dean. That’s Ian Bishop!”

I grabbed the collar of the tall man, who wasn’t paying attention to me now, as I growled in his face.

That’s right… don’t – fuck – with – me.”

The third man, with glasses, pulled out a flyer from his shorts pocket, examined it for several moments before freaking out and running towards me.

Senhor!” He said, shaking my free hand, even though I clearly had his friend cuffed, “didn’t you just join the EFG Battlemania?”

A confused Renee raised one of her perfect eyebrows as she patted me on the shoulder. I glanced back, with the tall guy still in my hands. She looked like she wanted an explanation about my joining the free for all match hosted by a wrestling radio show known as Efed Guerilla’s.

I love you Renee,” I said, choosing my next words carefully, “but you know I don’t have to run everything by you.”

She didn’t seem impressed with that response. “I don’t care, I was just wondering.”

I thought you didn’t pass your physical?” the four eyed Brazilian questioned, referencing earlier in the show my reasoning’s for attacking President Dean.

You will all know,” I said, finally letting go of the taller man, who backed off right away, fixing his shirt, “President Dean is a fucking liar, he purposely denied me into OCW by fixing my results and I’m going to show not just him, but the world, that he’s wrong!”

How are you going to prove that?” the taller man laughed, trying to act tough, “there’s some stiff competition in that match taking place in the jungle.”


Je suis sûr qu'il ya un anneau, amour,” Renee spoke softly into my ear, rubbing my back.

I’m not worried,” I retorted. I go for a kiss on her forehead before the kid in the yellow shorts interrupts.

From what I’ve read, you have history with a lot of opponents in this ring,” he said, looking like he wasn’t sure but continued, “exactly, what kind of history?”

My eyes rolled to the back of my head, annoyed now, as Renee whispered something in my ear. I sighed, and turned to the boys.

You want to know the history?” I said, pacing for a moment and grabbing their volleyball, “I’ll let you in on a secret you guys… no matter how much or little history I have with everyone in this match, it all comes down to one thing… if I get to win this match the easy way or the hard way. If I am selected in early numbers, everyone will get to see my endurance and just how I can go toe-to-toe with anyone no matter how long I am in that ring for. If I get a later number, than my opponents are sadly at a major disadvantage as the fresher opponent will be coming in and I will pick them off, one-by-one."

But dude,” the taller one pointed out, stupidly, “you’ve been wrestling for like… twelve years, aren’t you old?”

Are you kidding me?” The response from him pissed me off so much I threw their volleyball in the water, “I am not fucking old! I am almost thirty years old! I’ve been wrestling since I was sixteen years old. I have wrestled with the best and have walked out to tell the tale. I’ve been in the worst kinds of matches and I’ve walked out alive. You think a battle royal in the middle of the jungle scares me? No way. They’ve made it easy for Mister Incredible!”

It looked like another one of the kids was going to ask me something but I raised my finger, taking a breath before continuing.

I already know what you’re going to ask so I’m getting into it…. And yes, this is turning into a classic Ian rant.”

The kids, not even realizing what they’ve got themselves into, stand there dumbfounded as I take a deep breath… and rant.

I know some people in this match. The people I don’t know can only mean one thing; they’re not even worthy enough to talk about. I am the best in this business and in order for me to know you, you need to make yourself known. I got history with MJ Bell, Danny B, Amber Ryan, Matt Meyhu, Aidan Morag, and I know of Amp and Mike Best. Bell and I got personal history that I’m not getting into with the likes of you, but I know she’ll be after me with raging lust on how we ended, and she’ll lose because of it. Danny B and Amber Ryan hate my guts because of the shit I pulled with them in OCW… I don’t think a single person in this world hates me more than Amber Ryan. Her hatred in trying to band everyone together to take me out will not work… if she thinks veterans like us will actually truly help each other, she’s wrong. She’ll make a pact with someone and then that person will throw her ugly skank ass over the rope… and then I’ll personally get out of the ring and laugh in her cunt face, showing her I am still and always will be superior to her!

Danny B is a different story. Unlike the rest of the names, he and I are actually in the same hall of fame class for OCW. He was the top good guy of 2014, where as I was the top bad guy of 2014. That is where the similarities end though. Was he a two time Central Champion? No. Did he win Match of the Year? No. Did he win Feud of the Year? No. I did! You know what that means? I fought with my opponent tooth and nail both in and out of the ring to be recognized as one of the best. I swept the year end awards pretty much and was robbed as Wrestler of the Year, because fuck President Dean and his bias. There are only two people in this entire match that could go to the end with me, one of them is Danny B but he won’t. He wants me too bad, just like MJ Bell and Amber Ryan. Aren’t you seeing the pattern, kids? Everyone wants a piece of The Incredible One, even the nobody hick musicians that speak in first person! Everyone is claiming I am the favorite to win this match… and they’re right. I am the clear favorite and I will win this match.

No one cares if you’re Matt Meyhu or Aidan Morag. Yeah, Meyhu hurt my back in my original run with Boardwalk and yeah, he’s probably the only person in this match that I’d like to prove something to. That night, Meyhu got into the ring with a man who was warped by a slut, by a cunt, by a woman who didn’t want to be with a man like me, and that was MJ Bell. Why do you think I didn’t return to Boardwalk right away? I had to get my insanity back! My viciousness that was taken away from me. Was I blinded for a month or so? Perhaps… but everyone makes mistakes. Like when Meyhu decided to go too far and hurt my back. I will prove to him that me losing was a fluke and you only marvel before one person, and that is someone who is incredible.

Morag, you see, he’s a great kid, don’t get me wrong, which is why it pains me to tell the truth about him… he’s a coat rider. He holds hands with the best so it appears he is one of the best… but I SPEAK THE TRUTH ladies and Aidan Morag is not the best, he isn’t even great. Who was Aidan Morag before he joined forces with me? NO ONE! Who does he have to thank for people even knowing he exists? ME! When you align yourself with incredibleness and greatness, you achieve the same glow, but you’re not the originator. Yes, he reclaimed the title I once had, but is he still wearing it? No. Is he main-eventing Boardwalk iPPV’s? No! That’s what I thought… you see, without me, Aidan Morag is nothing!

To the two I know of… Mike Best. He’s a cock so I’m not really going to get into him. He talks a big game but I’ve seen his tape. He’s only ever been in HOW wrestling, and who knows, maybe HOW is full of half-assed wrestlers and Best is the only decent one… probably. So he’s now coming out to tangle with the people who have wrestled for various other places? Sorry Mike, better stick with HOW. Finally… we got ‘The Living Legend’ Amp. The only man who can actually live up to his name… he’s the second person who could come to the end with me… but whether it’s Amp or Danny B or some other lucky son of a bitch in this crazy mayhem of a match… the result will be the same kids. I will be victorious and I will show President Dean I can wrestle… and then I will take my business elsewhere as he cries himself to sleep, because I’m that damn incredible.

During my rant, I had been pacing back and forth and once I was finished, I hadn’t even realized the kids had sat down on the beach and had fallen asleep. Renee laughed as she escorted my frustrated self back up the beach, maybe thinking the full moon had some effect on me, as we walked ourselves back to the hotel for the rest of the night.

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