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TWW: Hermon, Maine House Show. AKA THE TERRNACE HOUR


Jan 1, 2000
TWW had a spot house show at The Sports Arena in Hermon, Maine. The Sports Arena is a popular sports bar/entertainment center serving the mid-Maine region, with several large screen TV’s, pool tables and an 18-lane bowling alley. The Sports Arena staff kindly set aside some space outside “The Beach Hut,” a separate bar area with a tropical theme. Parts of the show were taped for the TWW’s paid late-night infomercials on NESN, New England’s regional sports cable channel.

(FADE IN: A shot of the empty ring. About 75 people are surrounding the ring in folding chairs or are standing, holding cheap American domestic beers, most of them wearing flannel shirts and/or sweatpants with unironic mesh hats. CUE UP: “Take No Prisoners” by Megadeth. The crowd cheers as TWW COMISSIONER PowerMaster comes sprinting ostensibly from Parts Unknown. His face has a gold lightning bolt with red trim painted on it, with matching arm and thigh tassels with red and yellow boots. His ripped body has been freshly bronzed and oiled.)

PM: THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WELCOME BEFITTING OF THE AGGRO INTENNNZEEE WARRIOR FROM THE PLANET BEYOND! I am the PowerMaster, the one in contact with the Spirit Lordz high above, those who have granted me the wisdom of FOKRUCITY which have enabled me to channel energy from the earthz core which allllowwzzz meee to control the flow of all of this planet’s RIVERRRRSSS. (PowerMaster repeatedly beats his chest.) But I am not here today to preach with aggro-intenzity regarding the tenants of FOKRUCITY. I am here today as the Spirit Lodz high above have once again sent a sign to us, as an orb of light cracked the ice shields of the NORTH POLE summoning me to their destination. Cast in stone were a DICTATE which I interpreted.

(PowerMaster stands silently as the crowd talks amongst themselves, completely baffled as to what he is talking about.)

THE DICTATES SAY that I shall not allow myself to control the outcome of ANY MATCH here in the TWW. But they also say I must help STEER ALONG one of the Spirit Lordz chosen few. For I AM NOT ALONE as their portal here on EARTH. There is another. This has been made evident as there is another wrestler there shall be DEATH TO FALSE METAL. For the Spirit Lordz chosen music are the brutal power chords of MEGADE—(The crowd EXPLODES as PowerMaster pauses.) Of Megadeth. This man is the one who may or may not be a MAN GOD such as myself… the man known as TERRRRANNNCEEE!!!!

(The crowd once again EXPLODES at the mention of the name Terrance. Soon, they break out a chant. TEERRRRR ANNNNNCE. TERRRRR ANNNNCE. PowerMaster raises his hands.)

IF I MAY HAVE YOUR ATTENTION ONCE AGAIN! Now, Terrance is not here – (The crowd boos.) YET! (The crowd POPS once again.) I have arranged for him to have a match RIGHT HERE TONIGHT! (The crowd starts yelling once again, chanting TERRRRR ANNNNNNCE.) But first, we shall have other action!

PowerMaster left the ring. Entering the ring next was SHADY SLYM, a local trainee wrestler weighing about 125 pounds, wearing a bandana and an oversized shirt airbrushed with his name on it. Then the lights dimmed and walking out with a shopping cart filled with a variety of MEGADETH T-shirts through the years is PROBLEM CHILD, wearing a sleeveless vintage Megadeth T-Shirt with a skull wearing sunglasses. PC took the microphone and started claiming that he was the true and only REAL Megadeth fan on the TNN Roster, drawing outrage and ire from the crowd. As soon as he finished speaking, he hit SHADY SLIM right in the face with the microphone, bloodying his opponent. The bell rang, and PC started punching his rookie opponent in the face, causing him to wear the crimson mask. The ref repeatedly warned PC who, anytime the ref separated him from his opponent, yelled out PEACE SELLS BUT WHO’S BUYING and other Megadeth-themed slogans. The crowd soon started a TERRRR ANNNCE chant. PC then hooked his opponent and delivered the ADD, his belly-to-belly piledriver for the win. The crowd continued to chant TERRR ANNNCE as PC gave the crowd the finger.


BIG DADDY vs. The MAINEiacs.
The MAINEiacs are two rookie locals also enrolled in an area wrestling school. They were dressed in the garb of Lewiston’s junior hockey league team the MAINEiacs. Big Daddy – 6’10” and at least 400 pounds, stepped OVER the top rope. The tag team both began attacking him at once. Big Daddy absorbed their flailing blows, grabbed each other them in an IRON CLUTCH as they screamed and then he threw each into OPPOSITE turn buckles. He then avalanched each one separately and then piled both of them in the same ring corner and avalanched both of them together. He then grabbed them together and hoisted them in a DOUBLE bearhug screaming WHO’S YOUR DADDY as they both submitted.


Mr. Start Me Up, a die-hard ROLLING STONES fan came out wearing a sleeveless shirt with the iconic big lips on it. The crowd then stood at attention as INTO THE LUNGS OF HELL off of Megadeth’s “So Far, So Good, So What” album cued up as the crowd went NUTS, banging beer bottles on their tables. Dry Ice filled the entrance area and after a delay… TERRANCE came walking out, holding his hand high in the air, wearing his now-legendary KILLING IS MY BUSINESS AND BUSINESS IS GOOD shirt. The crowd once again started the TERRRR –ANNNNCE TERRRRR-ANCCCCCCCE chant! Terrance ran to the ring, slid under the top rope and manically charged Mr. Start Me up, hitting him with a series of punches. Mr. Start Me up quickly fell to the ground, as Terrance then attacked him with a series of elbow smashes. He then draped Mr. Start Me Up over the top rope and the 6’6” behemoth ran and lept OVER the top rope, snapping his foe’s neck over the top rope. He then climbed the top rope and lept off with a FLYING ELBOW DROP! Mr. Start Me Up started coughing and seizuring. But Terrance was not done.
He picked his opponent up, slapped him in the face yelling ASSFAG! He then booted him in the stomach and hoisted him in powerbomb position. He, along with the crowd, then yelled KILLING IS MY BUSINESS! He then picked Mr. Start Me up again, hoisted him over his head, yelling with the crowd AND BUSINESS IS GOOD and threw the Rolling Stones fanatic on the back of his head and neck. He then pinned him with ONE FINGER as the crowd erupted.
PowerMaster then stood at the entrance applauding his prospective protégé. Terrance stood in the ring walking from side to side as the crowd chanted TERRRRR ANNNNNNCEEEE.


The crowd filed out and went to either the bowling lanes or the bar.


Sep 10, 2008
acme michigan
thats not my theme song assfag. its peace sells. get it right or ill join cswa. and who is this f*ckin c*ck-mule who is coming out in megadeth shirts? seriously dude be a man and step up to the plate cause im gonna f*ckin own this league in about three days. if i win one more match i want the belt. i do more rps than any of these assclowns and my taste in music s much better. also keep in mind that my guy is a macho man hybrid motherf*cker. dude f*ck this can i just rp macho man now?

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