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Unholy Alliance vs. Monsta Boyz



A Little Welcome To GXW!

Returning from a Burger Sultan commercial, the screen fades in from black to show the outside of an arena, focusing mostly on the set of glass doors out front. Two of the doors suddenly swing open, and two VERY large men emerge. The first is a huge, blond-haired man in a teal-patterned Hawaiian T-shirt. The second man is shorter, but fatter; he appears Polynesian and wears a turquoise Hawaiian T-shirt. They are, of course, Buff Bellows and Fat Farrell respectively, the two members of the Monsta Boyz tag team. Both of them start grinning at the camera.

Bellows: "So here's the deal. I woke up this morning and I said to myself, Bellows, it's time ta do somethin' nice. Ya oughta give these two goofballs named Never Christ and Crimson Saint a little welcome to GXW. So, that's what we're gonna do. I'm Buff Bellows, and the fat guy in the blue is my pal Fat Farrell. The two of us, Buff Bellows, Fat Farrell, we're the Monsta Boyz. Eight-hundred pounds of concentrated @ss-kickin' ability."

Farrell: "Yah, man! That's a whole lotta @ss-kickin, huh?"

Bellows nudges the fat man with one elbow.

Bellows: "Hey, damn right it is." (He looks back to the camera.) "But hey, let's get to the next part of our little welcome." (He steps closer to the camera.) "This is the part where I tell ya that Buff Bellows doesn't take kindly ta little goofy kids bargin' in on his turf. Yeah, you heard me - I said goofy. I mean, come on. Never Christ? Crimson Saint? Where the hell did you retards come from - the Gothic Jobbers Federation? And now you two punks wanna take yer goofball team and barge in on the Monsta Boyz' turf?"

Buff raises a finger and wags it at the camera, tsk-tsking softly.

Bellows: "I don't think so. Never Christ, Crimson Saint, let me tell ya somethin'. The Monsta Boyz, Buff Bellows and Fat Farrell, ain't about ta let a couple a' screwball rookies get in our way. We're goin' straight to the top, baby, and there ain't no way in hell two retards named Never Christ and Crimson Saint are gonna get in our way."

Farrell: "Hell yah, man! Ya see, girlie boys, we's LOVE squishin' little kiddies like you! It's like a hobby for us, man!"

Bellows: "You heard him, boys. And just to get somethin' straight, I don't give a damn how unholy you are, 'cause ta me, yer just a couple a' punks barkin' up the wrong tree. But what ya don't realize is that this tree is gonna kick yer @sses all over the place and beat ya right in the center of the ring - 1, 2, 3. And when it's all said an' done, yer gonna be left in the dust, while the Monsta Boyz climb up that ladder to the top."

Bellows steps forward again, and the cameraman has to look up to catch the big Monsta's face.

Bellows: "But best of all, when it's all said an' done, Never Christ, Crimson Saint, you two goofs are gonna learn to stay the hell outta mah biz-nass. 'Cause if you butt IN on mah biz-nass, it'll be the worst, and last, decision of yer lives."

Fade to black...

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