WFW Christmas Card: Jean Rabesque vs. Christian Sands

[PaulNJ21]

This is part one of a three match series....

The deadline for this match is Friday, January 7th 11:59 PM EST. Send all angles to pmiller21@gmail.com

 

[JABolich]

(FADEIN: A studio somewhere, dominated by a white 'INNER CIRCLE' backdrop. CHRISTIAN SANDS sits on a plain steel chair in front of it, trenchcoat draped as usual over a black sweater and slacks. He smirks at the camera from behind his mirrored shades.)

"Funny the way the world works, eh? Just when you think life couldn't get any crazier, you turn around and who should show up but Rabesquedor the Borinator. Sort of a shame. I was sort of hoping your absence indicated that they'd succeeded in freeze-drying boredom so we could enjoy it without actually having to listen to you run your mouth."

"Ah well. S**t happens, and you're living proof."

"So let's get down to business here, my boring little buddy. I won't keep you TOO horribly long. I know you've got a busy day ahead of you what with all the borinating of the countryside and all."

"I think we've got a little problem, Rabesquedor. You accuse me of living in the past, of dropping your name left and right - but to be honest with you it's been many moons since I last notified someone, 'I went sixty-six minutes with Rabesquedor the Borinator and survived awake'. So the question remains, Jean-Claude: What show have YOU been watching for the last half a year? And here I'm the one who needs to live in the now, huh? Hah. You're a joke. Then again, this is to be expected from a guy who headlines a bush-league fed against El Homo Rainbow of all people."

"But hey, if you want to talk about the past, why the hell not? In fact, I've been longing to let you in on a little secret."

(Leaning forward...)

"I could've kicked your ass..."

"...but I just plumb got bored with yeh."

"Oh dear. I think I've discovered the Rabesquedor the Borinator secret weapon."

(Placing a hand to his mouth...)

(INTRIGUE~~!!)

"Fortunately for me, the good folks here at Inner Circle R&D have developed an anti-boredom vaccine so I don't fall asleep on ya again..."

"Ohhhhh, but wait. You don't care that you're boring, do you? Because it doesn't matter to you whether people think you have a personality or not. You just want to rassle an' make a name for yourself!"

"Yeah, you're making a name for yourself. RABESQUEDOR. THE. BORINATOR. No false gimmicks, no false hype, just plain old bland boring dinosaur. The only wrestler in history whose matches send the people in the front row running BACK to the steel-roofed nosebleed section. But that's alright, because they come back for MY match - because for all that so-called talent, which is really just the innate ability to bore your opponents to tears with an endless succession of chinlocks, you still can't outdo me. Why? Because I HAVE REAL TALENT, and I have PERSONALITY TO SELL IT WITH."

"My face is the face that launched a thousand carpools, all carrying four or five or six fans down to WFW shows to watch the action. My face, Dan Ryan's, Maelstrom's, Lindsay Troy's... ours are the faces that draw the big money. The only thing YOU ever drew was consummate Z's."

"It's embarrassing to look back and see that I actually used to respect you. I guess that's what happens when you look back a year - you laugh. I was such a freakin' tool, pandering to you with all that 'I respect your talent' crap. Ah well - we all learn from our mistakes. I am ten times the man I was at Battleground Britain, Rabesquedor - probably even more - because I'm constantly in motion. I simply don't stop learning, don't stop striving to be the best in the world - and you know what? I SUCCEED WITHOUT QUESTION, and I've proven that many a time."

"You, Rabesquedor, have proven only that you're lame - a hack, a shmuck, a DINOSAUR. A pea-brained Brachiosaurus of a wrestler. Shouldn't you be extinct by now, old-timer? Oh, right - you're one of those living fossils they talk about in science textbooks."

"You think you're my worst nightmare, huh? Scamp, if I were dreaming about you, nightmare or no, I'd be asleep by now. Or didn't you hear that the American Medical Association has approved you as the most effective cure for chronic insomnia? Five minutes of Rabesquedor and you'll be out like a light!"

"And you WILL be out like a light, dino breath - out and down for the count."

(FADEOUT)

 

[SteveA]

(The screen comes in on a WFW backdrop, and as we come away, we see the newest competitor to grace a WFW ring, and that of course is Jean Rabesque, he is dressed in a gray long sleeve shirt with black pants, a black bandana, you know the drill, he smiles as the camera comes in and then.... he speaks)

“So Chris, this is what I came here for? This is what got me to the WFW when it did? Sure, the appearance was on the horizon, but I was going to take things easy for awhile. I’ve had a hectic schedule, you know with CSWA finally getting back on the map, and the entire New ERA roster caring about nothing but me, so I wasn’t sure I was ready to hop into the WFW hopper just yet. But you got me motivated, so I thought I’d show up and add a match to the pay-per-view.

“And what do I get for this? The same tired spiel that everybody’s been giving me for ten years. To be honest, I find it amusing. The only people who say that I’m boring are the other wrestlers that I’m going against. It’s as if..... they really don’t have anything else to say about me, so they just go back to the stand-by line, whether it’s true or not. Chris, were you not paying attention when I walked through that curtain? The crowd exploded Chris, for whatever reason, the people that actually matter in this whole equation are the ones who seem to think that I’m not boring. They’re the ones that sell out the t-shirts in whatever I league I go. They’re the ones that get on their feet and cheer for wrestling excellence. I’m not sure you got the same reaction Chris. So tell me, who’s boring?

“But yes, yes, you have a new vaccine for anti-boring. Nice Chris, NEVER heard that one before.

“For a moment, let’s talk about our last little encounter. Of course, everybody knows what happened inside the ring. It was an epic, and it was an honor to be a part of that. It was truly enjoyable to be able and to have the opportunity to put on that kind of a show. But I want to focus moreso on what took place before that match. Chris, when you spoke to me beforehand, the match was about respect. You looked up to me, as a fellow Canadian, as a man that you wanted to become.

“And I took that as an honor Chris, because at the time, I looked at you as the future of wrestling. You epitomized everything that wrestling should become. You weren’t into the schticks and the games, you were simply about what took place in the ring. And you recognized what truly mattered. Like I said Chris, the first match at Battleground Britain was a true treat.

“And now I look at you Sands, and the only emotion I feel is........ embarrassment.

“What happened to you? A man that was once full of honor and dignity has found a way to throw it all away, that quickly. You have no business being with Ryan and Troy. And Maelstrom, that’s a completely different story all together. But Chris, you have forgotten everything that was going to make you great.

“I haven’t really changed much since our first encounter. Yes, I’m older, even though the folks over at NFW refuse to admit that, but other than that, what you see is what you get. You claim to have improved leaps and bounds. I beg to differ. I beg to differ strongly. Chris, when I look at you, I see someone who has regressed.......... not only as a wrestler, but as a man. You’re now someone who relies on cheap insults and cheap alliances instead of getting it done WHERE IT COUNTS! And it really is a shame Chris.

“But here you go, you got three matches against the man you want more than anything. Think you can take two? It’s time to prove who’s way is better. Maybe it is yours Chris, but for some reason, I highly doubt it.

“And finally.... you can say whatever the hell you want, but I saw the look in your eyes the second I emerged from that current. I was one of the last people you wanted to see Chris and NOTHING you can say can change that. All I needed was to see the look.... in your eyes. But now, here I come, live on PPV..... like it or not.

“No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque.”

(FADEOUT)

 

[JABolich]

(FADEIN: ...A giant Brontosaurus fossil. The camera holds on the museum's prize dinosaur for a moment before slowly zooming in on a figure standing at the foot of the dino. It's CHRISTIAN SANDS, arms folded over his tan sweater, lips pulled into a thin smirk.)

S: "You'd think ten years of 'Rabesquedor the Borinator' being thrown in your face would be enough to tell you something's wrong, huh? Ah, but there I go, expecting logic from you..."

"It's sort of funny to listen to you, O Borinator, sitting there and confessing that you haven't changed. That admission alone says to me that you stand absolutely NO chance of defeating me this time around - because unless you come from Magical Jean-Claude Rabesquedor Frozen In Time Land, you can't better yourself unless you change. It's called being DYNAMIC! Maybe in 1855 you could get away with using a chinlock as a finisher, but times change, oh how they change."

"By your own admission you're static. Inert. You don't change. You lack my dynamism."

"It's funny how I apparently don't belong in the same ring as Ryan and Troy... when it was Ryan and Troy who approached me and said, 'Hey Christian, let's go to WFW, and let's bring Maelstrom too for s**ts and giggles!'. It's especially funny when you consider that Lindsay invented Rabesquedor the Borinator and the Rabesquedor the Borinator song. Do I sense a double standard here? Or maybe flat-out ignorance and/or hypocrisy?"

(Troy walks into the shot, dressed in a sharp business suit)

T: "He just wants to forget that I called him on his "Peeping Tom" escapade in NFW that resulted in said song."

(A slow smirk wanders across Sands' face at those words.)

"That's sort of cute, you know. What's REALLY cute is how he's sitting there whining about how he looks at me and feels embarrassment. Aw."

(Looking back to the camera...)

S: "We call this envy, Jean-Balzac. You're only embarrassed because you know I've left you behind. Insults have nothing to do with it. The truth is I look down on you because I'm ABOVE YOU. This time last year I wanted to prove that I could beat you. I'll admit that I didn't do it, but that's because I was trying foolishly to be ON your level. Now that I'm safely above you, things have changed."

T: "Do you know what I find ironic?"

(Troy rests her right arm on Sands' shoulder and puts her left one on her hip)

"I find two things ironic. Fact One: Jean Rabesque is taking a page out of Southern's book--coming to greener pastures in the hope of finding his smile again. Fact Two: He's actively seeking you out to do it, because you're the only match he's had in his entire career that more people have talked about and it was partly your doing."

S: "Well, of COURSE he'd seek me out... If you look at my track record I make people famous. It's not like people looked at the Battleground Britain lineup and said, 'Oh my God, Jean Rabesque! Let's go!'. It was more, 'Oh my God, Christian Sands and Jean Rabesque, and they're fighting! Let's go!'. You can't get this kind of publicity fighting Mitchell Lane or El Acid Trip or Felix the Big Red Cat, sport."

"We call this trying to catch lightning in a bottle again, Rabesque - and usually it doesn't work. The new talent rises to the top, and the old sinks to the bottom. Admittedly, Battleground Britain made the both of us into gods. But fame and glory don't mean a thing unless you use them to their fullest extent. I did, Jean. I rode that wave into EPW and grabbed myself a World Heavyweight Title and a set of Tag Titles on top. How about you? NEW? Defending against the likes of John Doe and Suicide must be really tough, scamp."

"It's enough to Borinate a guy, huh?"

"...Now that I think about it, it's sort of funny that you're still using that No False Hype line after I proved at Battleground Britain that there's someone at least equal to you and currently better than you, but I'm nice, so you can have that one."

"But the real humor comes in the fact that you're disappointed in me and think I suck... yet here you are just clambering to fight me, because no one else in your career can drag your boring ass to a good match like I can."

"You'll get your good match, Jean-Maurice."

"Except this time it ain't gonna be no draw. You want to catch the lightning again, huh?"

"Too bad... I'm sending you home with an empty bottle."

(FADEOUT)

 

[SteveA]

(The screen comes in on Rabesque, wearing the norm, standing in front of a WFW backdrop)

“And yes, the trend continues. The sad part is that I actually think you’re starting to believe what you say. So who exactly is feeding all of this to you Sands? Somewhere all along the lines, what once was a promising thing become nothing but...... delusion. Is it the ***** that you have to throw along in your spots? Is it Ryan? Something’s happened, and to be honest, it’s sad. I hate to say it again Chris, but I look at you..... with pity.

“You’re so off-base it’s not even funny anymore. Chris, we had a hell of a match, but when my career is over, that match isn’t even going to show up on the radar. I’ve had enough big matches in enough places Chris. The only reason that people still talk about that match, as you said they do, is because you never stop talking about it. Hell, like I’ve said before, that’s all anybody in EPW talked about. I’d run into them at an NFW show or a CSWA show, and they could do nothing but complain about you, and the fact that you wouldn’t shut up.

“The reason behind that anyway Chris is something that’s gone totally over your head. Everybody knew what I could do before that match even took place. ***** matches were not uncommon, in fact they were the norm. People remember that for your coming out party, and unfortunately as I see it, what’s going to end up being the pinnacle of your career. Sure, you’ve gone on to win your titles, but you bastardized yourself in the process.

“But yes, I’ve been meaning to congratulate you on your ‘epic’ EPW championship win. I just find it humorous that you can trivialize NEW the way you do. For some reason, I thought Jonathan Marx might take an issue with that. Or even Larry Tact, for that matter, and he retired. The truth behind that Sands is that I don’t need to prove anything to you. If in fact, you remain unconvinced, you can gladly sign a New ERA contract, work your way up the ladder and get yourself a title shot. I’ve even thought about doing the same in EPW, but I don’t think I can stand looking at you anymore than I have to.

“But if NEW’s not cutting it for you Sands, how about CSWA? You know that drill by now, don’t you Chris? You got on me for admitting that I’ve stagnating. I have to realize how this is a bad thing. Of course, I’ve stagnating, not in skills, but in style. You see Chris, I’ve been pinned cleanly exactly one time in the last 4 years. Why mess with a good thing? Why should I change? I’ll tell you right now when I’ll change when somebody comes along and makes me. (Chuckles) And I know what you’ll say Chris, so spare me. Heck, you might even get one fall on me. It might even be this match. But you’re not going to take two out of three. Nobody’s that lucky. So I’ll do exactly what I damn well want to, and you, or your *****, will do nothing about it.

“Oh, and Lindsay? Don’t flatter yourself hun. I’ve been keeping this a secret for a long time, I guess there’s no time like the present. My little ‘episode’ with you, it was never about you Lindsay. I didn’t give a crap what you thought. It was an attempt, albeit ill-fated, to get into Melton’s head. That’s all it ever was. I don’t care about you, or anything involving you. As far as I’m concerned, you can go straight to hell.

“And as far as me being the Borinator or whatever else you like to call me? Guilty as charged I guess. If that’s the case, then these WFW fans really dig boring, because Chris, just judging by the crowd reaction, they really seemed to like me a whole lot more than they liked you. Again, why change? They’re the ones that matter Chris. It really doesn’t matter to me who invented the stupid name. I’ve heard worse, and I’m sure I still will. All it really does is prove you’re full of ****.

“I’ve never thought you sucked Chris. I know what you can do, or at least I knew what you could do. I also know now that unfortunately honor is out the window. I fully plan on you cheating Chris, and that’s honestly about all I’m worried about. You’re not the man you once more. You’re a shell of your former self and the sad thing is I think you know it. Does that make your more or less dangerous? I guess we’ll find out, but Chris..... you’re NOT going to outwrestle me..... that is a promise. Because boring or not, I can still straight up kick your ass. And if you the audacity to look down on me..... (Chuckles) then this is going to be a very miserable night for you. Let’s just say I MIGHT let go..... when I hear you whimper. But then again, I might just wait until the bone cracks.

“No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque.”

(FADE OUT)

 

[SteveA]

(The screen comes in on Rabesque, wearing the norm, standing in front of a WFW backdrop)

“I guess we got time for a couple last minute comments Chris, even though I am a bit taken aback but your startling silence. It seems to me that you’re the type of person that always enjoys any opportunity to try to get into a verbal sparring match with your opponent, and of course we’ve all begun to learn your new found affinity for yourself and your abilities.

“But in the end, we all know it’s exactly that.... words. We know where it counts, and it’s getting really close to the time where everything is going to be revealed. Who’s going to prove the wrestling supremacy, and who’s going to be the first to take two falls?

“Last time this happened, this was a purist’s dream match. Now, I wish I could stay the same. Despite what you might be telling EVERYONE Chris, I don’t think you’re the wrestler you were. Sure, you’ve improved in some areas, but the new change in attitude has really left me unimpressed. Like I’ve said, you were once a young man of honor, but now, I wish I could get that impression from you. But Chris, I fully expect you to cheat. I fully expect you to use whatever means you deem necessary to try to get some kind of edge on me. You weren’t like that before Chris.

“That’s right, a lot has changed, with you. You know about me Chris, you know what I am, you know what I can do. I will wrestle you straight up, just like I did at Battleground Britain, just like I did when I put you on the map Chris. Again, I don’t care what you tell anybody, let’s examine the truth. Before you met me Chris, you were still considered a.... potential star. You were the King of the Midcard Chris, like it or not. You had never main evented anything, you had never done anything big. Nobody ever talked about you.

“And then... Battleground Britain, where I made you famous. All of a sudden the Internet came alive talking about that match, and all of a sudden Christian Sands got his name out there. All of a sudden you were a commodity, because we had the match of the year. But Chris, you couldn’t have done that by yourself, and hell, you haven’t done it before or since. The only true ***** match of your career..... came against me. Me on the other hand? Hell, I lost count Chris. Whether it was in front of 60,000 in the Tokyo Dome against Nevada Smith, or in the cage vs. Flatliner, or hell, even against the once honorable Maelstrom, the list goes on and on.

“You did nothing to advance my career Chris, so I guess it’s safe to say I’m the one with everything to lose in the match, but I’m used to that. When we met, I was main eventing the world over, and I still am. Hell, I was written one hell of a fat check to just appear at that one show against you, because the folks at GXW knew what I could do. And I did exactly that. I got their boy over. Don’t like the sound of that Chris? Well, tough s(FCC)t because that’s the reality of the situation. Those producers gave me an assload of money to make your ass look good, and I did exactly that!

“And how do you repay me? (Chuckles) I don’t think we even need to answer that question. Hell, Chris, you rode our match to the EPW title. No one would have given you a shot without that behind you. THAT’S why you felt the need to talk about ALL THE DAMN TIME! You know full well that that is true Chris. Sure, you’re not going to admit it, the ‘New’ Christian Sands would NEVER do anything like that. But deep down Chris, you know it, and it gnaws at you now. You see, I know that the Christian Sands that the fans in the WFW are seeing isn’t the real Christian Sands. I’m not exactly sure what the motivation is, but the hollowness behind it rings through loud and clear.

“Come on Chris, stop putting on the charade......

“Stop putting on the charade and act like the damn wrestler that you are. More importantly, act like the man that you are! I know you can do it Chris, I know it’s there. And as long as you keep it under wraps, it’s going to hold you back. You’re so blinded by everything you don’t even see it, and that really is a shame.

“I guess I’m going to have be the one to hopefully..... show you the light once again. And while I’m at it, I might as well make you famous..... once again.

“No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque.”

(FADEOUT)


(OORP: Sorry guys, going out of town and really couldn’t afford to wait any longer)

 

[JABolich]

"You'd think you were going to forget my name, huh?"

(FADEIN: White backdrop, SANDS sitting in front of it and smirking.)

"Honestly, B-nator. You'd think that your attention span was nonexistant the way you repeat my name every six words. 'Hi, Chris. How are you, Chris? I'm disappointed, Chris. Chris, Chris. Chris Chris Chris, Chris. Chris Chris!' Either you've got the worst memory out there - which is easy to believe considering your assertion that YOU made me famous - or you're unhealthily fixated with me - which is also easy to believe given that you've gravitated to me of all people to help rejuvenate your career."

"Well, I'll tell you what, Jean. You'll find no handouts here, Jean. Know why, Jean? Well, Jean, it's because I'm better than you, Jean. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Jean."

"But let's face it here. In just two promos you've pumped out ten times more pure bulls**t than the George W. Bush campaign."

"You fail to understand that I was 'over' - and by the way, thank you Captain Kayfabe - long before I called you out in GXW. I went on hiatus for a few months, and when I came back I walked right into a World Title match - All BEFORE YOU. I was a big enough draw that I could walk back into GXW, leave Boogie Smallz in a pool of his own blood, and immediately grab myself a match for the biggest prize in the fed."

"I'll remind you again, Rabesquedor, that no match in your recent career has been talked about more than the match with me. BEFORE I EVEN SAID A WORD ABOUT IT everyone and their mother was gushing about how the match was a classic that would go down in history. Not one of them - NOT ONE - was gushing about how you carried me to a classic."

"If you're so disappointed in me, little man, then why pray tell are you wasting your effort on me? Don't you have better things to do?"

"Or is it really about my attitude?"

"It's okay, Jean. You can admit that you want another five star classic under your belt. You can admit that I'm the best man you can count on to provide it. There's no shame in it."

"Sometimes it's best just to come out of the closet and tell the world, 'I, Jean Rabesque, need Christian Sands to put me back on the map.'"

"Interesting how despite accusing me of talking about Battleground Britain all the time, it's YOU coming to ME for the rematches, huh?"

"Who's dwelling on the past NOW?"

"Don't take solace in all those so-called cheers, either. I'd like to introduce you to a concept called the 'Anticipation Pop'. They weren't popping for YOU... they were popping for ME TOO, because they knew as soon as they saw your face out there with mine that they were in for another five star match."

"These people know that I bring out the best in you. When you're in there with me you stop being Rabesquedor the Borinator and actually become BETTER than you really are - because I can make ANY man look like a god in the ring, whether it's Jean-Marcel Rabesque or John Doe or even little Mitchell Lane."

"And you know it too, don't you? Because that's why you're here. You got whipped by Shane Southern and came crawling to me to try and ride the lightning again."

"What's all this talk about honor, anyway? When did you start hanging around the Iron Lion? Or were you always this big a p*ssy and I just didn't notice before?"

"And how did the issue of cheating come up, anyway? Nevermind, I don't want to know. I'll just tell you the same thing I told someone else in March of 2004: 'I don't need to cheat to beat you, bub.' Beast didn't believe me either, but he changed his tune after I handed him a whipping at Black Dawn and took home the EPW Title. This, by the way, was a five star match, as was the rematch at Unleashed, so don't go hogging all the credit for yourself."

"I've got a plane to catch, so I'll leave you with a final thought."

"I don't care how much I disappoint you. I don't judge myself on the Jean Rabesque Scale of Awesomeness. I know that I'm the best wrestler in existence, and that's all that matters. Whether you approve or not doesn't deter me."

"But following the Christmas card I'll wager you'll be a little LESS disappointed."

"You could use the embarrassment anyway..."

(FADEOUT)