The Newest Sensation to Hit the Nation, Bringin' Tag-Team Wrestling to New Elevations
:::FADEIN--On a busy street corner in the city, the PHENOM, STEVE SAVOY, emerges from an SUV. As he steps to the sidewalk, he tosses his keys to a hot dog vendor.:::
SAVOY: Start having a...... greeeat liiiiiiiiiife....
:::Suddenly, two men step to Savoy from around the corner. One is sporting an Indiana Pacers jersey, the other a tattered Miami Dolphins jersey. This makes sense because the two men are none other than NBA star RON ARTEST and former All-Pro running back RICKY WILLIAMS.:::
SAVOY: BEHOLD... my crew. What's the haps, pahd-nahs?
ARTEST: The haps is we bustin' caps in all the cities on different maps. Shifting zone-D makes me the baddest MC. Because when we hit the canvas, we're takin' tag-team gold like Nancy Travis!
:::'Sticky' Ricky takes a puff from a small, pipe-like object, then interjects.:::
WILLIAMS: *cough* *wheeeeeeeeze* Thaaaat's riiiiiiiiight...
SAVOY: Hmmm... as far as I know, Nancy Travis has never won tag-team gold of any sort, but I did love her in Rose Red.
ARTEST: Not to mention the Axe Murderer movie...
SAVOY: The wha?
ARTEST: So I Married an Axe Murderer... with Mike Myers??
SAVOY: I'm not quite sure I know what you're referring to.
ARTEST: Maaaaaaan, you's watchin' TV all the time- don'know what So I Married an Axe Murderer is?!
SAVOY: I only watch educational programming.
ARTEST: Last time I checked, the Spice Channel isn't that educational.
SAVOY: Don't hate just because I wanna spice up my life.
ARTEST: Somthin' tells me that's not the kinda thing Baby Spice had in mind.
SAVOY: Yeah, well I've got somthin' in mind for Baby Spice!!
:::Savoy and Artest pause momentarily and stare at one another. Finally the two erupt, simultaneously with a hearty...:::
SAVOY and ARTEST: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!
:::Hyped by the Phenom's masterful joke, the two commence rapid hand-slapping, often missing the target. In the background, Sticky Ricky snickers, temporarily loses his balance, then snickers once again.:::
ARTEST: So what's the game plan, S-Pac?
SAVOY: Well, seeing as how this small WFW camera crew has somehow miraculously stumbled upon our meeting here, I think we should hype our alliance and our match.
ARTEST: Word. Those WFW folks are slow on the upkeep, so they might not know what our MO is...
SAVOY: Sticky Ricky, what's our MO?!
:::After taking another large puff from his pipe-like object, he responds.:::
WILLIAMS: My dread-locks is fresh like lettuce. I love you man...
SAVOY: I... love you.... too... Ricky...
ARTEST: This fool don't even know what time it is...
:::He grabs the camera by the lens and peers into it.:::
ARTEST: Check this out... see, the three of us... we're Disgruntled Athletes...
SAVOY: And what do we do?
ARTEST: We make noise, man.
SAVOY: Disgruntled Athletes Makin' Noise.
ARTEST: Or D.A.M.N. for short.
SAVOY: So DON'T call us Steve Savoy's Posse!
ARTEST: This ain't the old west, suckas!
SAVOY: Although, when we step into the ring with Luster and Unnamed Bastard, I'm goin' Clint Eastwood on both their asses!
ARTEST: Shoot... Bastard's unnamed cuz I slapped the John Hancock outta 'im!
:::Williams interjects.:::
WILLIAMS: Yo.... are you SURE I can't borrow 8.6 million dollars?
:::Savoy continues on, un-fazed.:::
SAVOY: So yeah, look out boys, cuz we're comin' ta getcha!! This D.A.M.N. team is like a bad burrito from Taco Bell. Tasty as can be, but it'll BURN your insides right out if you mess with it! Rest assured, you mess with us... the only thing you'll win is a 2 night stay at the indigestion hotel!
ARTEST: Acid reflux, b(FCC)tch!
SAVOY: My kung-fu will destroy you, Luster, and send you back to the welfare line from whence you came. Think I'm wrong? Try me... I'm beggin' ya.... It'll be the last and final and LAST mistake you and your Anonymous friend will ever make! The PHENOM... has left... the BUILDING!!!
WILLIAMS: *cough* Go Longhorns.......
:::FADE OUT:::