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Wisconsin Dells Riptide 03


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
SW Chicago
(FADE-IN on the backstage area. Lady V. stands there, still shaken but
much recovered from the attack on Jared Wells moments ago)

LADY V.: "Fans, we have received yet another disturbing package from
Jarod Poe's stalker. The former TV Champion thinks it is the Cannonball Kidd's doing, but that remains to be seen. This package contained a typed letter and a video cassette.”

(Lady V. unfolds the letter and clears her throat)

LADY V. (reading from the letter): “Dear Poe, I see you didn't take me
seriously last week. I just wanted to let you know that this week you
should take me a lot more seriously than you have before. Enclosed is a video which I think you might find interesting. Also Poe I noticed you lost your shimmering jewel. Perhaps you were thinking of me, I am
honored. You know you are pathetic. Your existence now angers and sickens me to the point I want to vomit. How could you lose the one attractive quality about you. Now that you have lost it I have no other reason to go after you than to punish you for your stupidity and defeat. Consider what I am doing punishment for your miserable performance. Improve and the punishment gets not as bad. Lose and suffer the consequences. Take care.”

LADY V.: “Oh my, Okay, now let's view the video."

(Lady V. pops the video into a VCR and the monitor lights up. The tape
cues up with static then the picture comes in. The audio is bad but we
can barely make out someone talking in a mumbled voice. It is all first person so we never see the person shooting. Before the camera starts moving a hand with piece of paper goes in front of the camera point of view to show the address of Poe's apartment. The camera then wanders around the building looking in the windows and then we see Poe at his unit as the camera zooms in on him as he does certain things around the apartment and the camera keeps following Poe. Poe goes to the window and the camera suddenly cuts away. Lady V stops the tape and turns and sees Poe standing behind her with a look of sheer anger on his face. He says nothing and storms off down the hall)

LADY V.: "Well, apparently that was Poe's apartment building being filmed by this person...this stalker. Back to you guys."

(CUT TO: Ross, Wiseman, and Shades at the announce table)

ROSS: “Folks, before the commercial we witnessed a horrible attack by
M.W. Grossard’s … associate … Abby the Nazi, as she sprayed pepper spray into the face of Jared Wells. Abby was removed by security, and EMT’s are checking on Wells now. I’m being told that after an eye flushing and a little rest Wells will be fine. But also, folks, judging from the video we just saw, Jarod Poe’s alleged stalker is getting bolder every day.”

WISEMAN: “Poe can play off this stalker thing all he wants, but that last bit had to have rattled him. I doubt he’s going to try to convince us OR himself that there’s not actually a stalker anymore.”

SHADES: “Oh, please. I’ve had HUNDREDS of stalkers over the course of my career. It ain’t nothing to get all worked up about. Of course, mine were all female stalkers. HOT female stalkers.”

WISEMAN: “Sure, if you can look past each of their prominent Adam’s

SHADES: “HEY! (muttering) It was only one of them …”

ROSS: “Folks, up next we’ve got Jarod Poe squaring off against the
technical wizard Larry Tact. Tact is a dangerous opponent under any
circumstances, but you’ve got to wonder what sort of an impact Poe’s
stalker is going to have on this matchup.”

WISEMAN: “That stalker of Poe’s is a distraction that Jarod Poe can’t
afford tonight. You’ve got to be on the top of your game when facing a
man as skilled as Tact, and that stalker could well wind up costing Poe the match, just like it did the TV title.”

SHADES: “The only reason Poe is worried about this stalker is because
he’s a big fat sissy. Tact is going to hand him his own ass tonight.”

ROSS: “Well, that remains to be seen. Let’s take you down to Matt Faley at ringside.”

FALEY: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first … (CUEUP:
“Karma” – Diffuser) … from Manhattan, New York, and weighing in at TWO

(Tact appears at the top of the ramp clad in dark red tights and high
black wrestling boots. He jogs down to the ring amidst a chorus of boos from the fans)

FALEY: “And his opponent … (CUEUP: “Shadow Man” – W.A.S.P) … from Hell, Michigan and weighing in at TWO hundred SIXTY-FIVE pounds, he is the former GLCW TELEVISION CHAMPIONNNNNN, JAAAAAAAAAARRRRRROOOOOOOOD POOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEE!”

(The crowd cheers loudly as Poe makes his way to the ring. Poe, attired in black leather pants, combat boots, and a leather vest, stops to raise his arms to the appreciative crowd. His eyes, however, furtively scan the crowd for possible threats)

ROSS: “The referee calls for the bell, and here we go! (SFX: DING DING
DING!) Poe quickly advances on Larry Tact, but Tact begs off! Tact is
telling the ref that Poe has a weapon, and the referee backs Poe into the corner to check him as Tact laughs.”

WISEMAN: “We saw similar tactics used by “Stupendous” Stephen Morgan when he won the Television Title from Poe at Ringlords.”

SHADES: “That’s because Poe is dumb enough to fall for them over and over and over again.”

WISEMAN: “What do you know about it? You weren’t even THERE for that

SHADES: “I told you, I had business to attend to. Lay off.”

ROSS: “The referee has checked Poe and is assuring Tact that Poe isn’t
carrying a foreign object, but I think Larry Tact knew that to begin
with. And look, now Tact is going into the trunks, and Poe is screaming at the referee to check Larry Tact! The ref is all over Tact, who’s holding his hands up and laughing as the ref frisks him.”

WISEMAN: “Poe and Tact are similarly sized, and both have incredible
talent in the ring. However, you’ve got to give a slight technical
advantage to Larry Tact, and if Poe continues to let Tact get under his skin he doesn’t stand a chance.”

SHADES: “What do you mean a ‘slight’ technical advantage? Larry Tact is WORLDS ahead of Poe in the ring. Poe doesn’t stand a chance anyway.”

ROSS: “The referee is satisfied that both men are unarmed, and he’s
signaling for the match to begin. Poe not wasting any time, he charges
Tact, but Tact brings him down with a deep armdrag. Both men back up, Poe in again and Tact takes him down again with a Japanese armdrag. Both men up quickly, and Poe looks frustrated. Third armdrag attempt by Tact, but Poe blocks, and a reversal by Poe into a big hip toss. Nicely done!”

SHADES: “Luck. Pure luck.”

ROSS: “Both men back up, and this time it’s Larry Tact who isn’t wasting any time! Double-leg by Tact and he’s looking for some sort of leg submission, but Poe scrambles for the ropes.”

WISEMAN: “Poe made it to the ropes, but I’m surprised at how quickly Tact backed off to allow him room to breathe. We know that Tact doesn’t have ANY respect for the former TV champion.”

SHADES: “Tact’s playing it safe, Rick. He’s not allowing the ref any
chance to disqualify him.”

ROSS: “Both men are on their feet, collar-and-elbow tieup. A knee to the gut by Tact, and Tact cinches in the front facelock. Vertical suplex by Tact, but Poe slides out over the shoulder! (SFX: Crowd pops!) Rear waistlock by Poe, but Tact reverses with a standing switch and BURIES Poe with a German suplex. (SFX: Crowd jeers) Bridge into the cover, ONE, TWO, but Poe got the shoulder up.”

WISEMAN: “That’s the sort of thing I’m talking about. Poe’s a great
wrestler, but it’s little mistakes like that that may cause him the

SHADES: “Wrong, sucker. It’s the fact that he SUCKS that’s going to cost him the match. He’s not good enough to defend his title against
Stephen Morgan. How do you expect him to defeat one of the greatest
technical wrestlers of ALL TIME?”

ROSS: “Poe rolls away and regains his feet, and he’s glaring daggers at Tact. Larry Tact shrugs, and he’s reaching into the tights again! Poe grabs the referee, who’s on Larry Tact like Jake Shades on a

SHADES: “HEY! I expect that from HIM … (pointing at Wiseman) … but I
thought YOU had a little class.”

ROSS: “Not when it comes to you, Jake. The ref is finished checking Tact, and now it’s TACT screaming that Poe is carrying! The ref looks over at Poe, who’s fuming in the corner. The ref glares at Tact, but heads over to check Poe, who we KNOW is clean.”

SHADES: “YOU might know that, but I’m not so sure. I wouldn’t put it past that loser to grab a weapon to even the odds. Seems like he can’t win a match to save his life.”

WISEMAN: “Jared Poe had a great reign as the GLCW Television
Champion. He only hit this slump with the appearance of this mysterious stalker, and you know it.”

ROSS: “The referee is assuring Tact that Poe doesn’t have a weapon, and rather forcefully at that. Tact grins and shrugs, and HERE COMES POE! Poe charges out of the corner with a flying forearm that leveled Larry Tact, and now Poe is stomping wildly at the head of Larry Tact!” (SFX: Crowd pops!)

SHADES: “Wildly is the key word. Tact already has him frustrated, and it shows.”

ROSS: “Jarod Poe still stomping away, but look at this! Tact got ahold of the ankle of Poe as he was off-balance and just HEAVED him to the mat. Tact quickly assumes a mounted position, and a transition into a Fujiwara armbar! Tact is putting tremendous pressure on the elbow and shoulder of Jarod Poe, and this might end the match right here!”

WISEMAN: “If Poe would just focus for a minute, he’d see how close to the ropes he really is.”

ROSS: “I think he heard you, as Poe struggles over to the ropes. Poe’s
got ahold of the bottom rope, and Tact breaks clean! Tact rolls to the
outside as Poe regains his feet. Poe’s shaking off the cobwebs, and
what’s this?! Tact has got a chair! Poe is standing in the middle of the ring, telling Tact to bring it on! Tact slides into the ring, leading with the chair. Here comes the ref, but Tact raises the chair and the ref backs off! Tact is mouthing off to Poe, and … (SFX: Crowd buzzing) Larry Tact just threw the chair to his opponent! Poe is looking at Tact, Tact has a huge grin on his face, and Poe’s got no idea what’s going on! The referee is screaming at Poe to drop the chair, and look at the look on the face of Jarod Poe!” (SFX: Crowd goes nuts)

(Poe looks at the chair, then at the ref, then at the chair again, then at Tact, then at the crowd, then at the chair again. The crowd is

ROSS: “Poe is winding up, he’s about to swing for the fences … but he
drops the chair! (SFX: Crowd AWWWWWW’s) The referee quickly kicks the
chair out of the ring, and you can hear Poe telling Tact that he’s not
going down like that! Larry Tact now GRABS the referee, telling him that Poe was going into the trunks, but it looks like the ref is telling Tact to screw himself!”

WISEMAN: “Tact went that route ONE time too many, and the ref’s not
buying it.”

SHADES: “But that ploy with the chair was BRILLIANT! Poe nearly got
himself disqualified, and Larry Tact certainly has the FORMER TV champion rattled.”

WISEMAN: “If it was so brilliant, how come it didn’t work?”

ROSS: “Tact and Poe are advancing to the center of the ring, and here’s Larry Tact with a knee to the midsection! Front facelock and a snap suplex by Tact, floatover into the cover, ONE, TWO, THREEENO! Poe got the shoulder up!”

WISEMAN: “Jarod Poe is not out of this match yet, but I think Larry Tact has done at LEAST as much damage with his psychological tactics as he has with his wrestling offense.”

ROSS: “Quick elbowdrop by Tact, and it looks like he’s going for another leg submission but Poe quickly scrambles out of reach and back to his feet, and now it’s Jarod Poe on the offensive! Knife-edge chop by Poe! (SFX: WHOOOO!) And another! And another, Tact is reeling, and now Poe brings Tact CRASHING down with a gutwrench suplex! A little of Tact’s own medicine, and now it’s POE into the cover! Hook of the leg, ONE, TWOOO, but Tact kicks out with authority. What an incredible showing by both men!”

WISEMAN: “Poe can wrestle with the best of them, but you’ve gotta wonder what this stalker is costing him in terms of concentration.”

SHADES: “This stalker business is only helping to hasten the inevitable. Poe doesn’t have the artifice required for this endeavor.”

WISEMAN: “Very nice. Did you get a Word-of-the-Day calendar, or what?”

SHADES: “Yeah, my mom gave me one for my birthd … HEY!”

ROSS: “Both men back up, and here comes Poe again! Hard right by Poe! And a left! And another right! Irish whip by Poe, reversal by Tact! Poe into the ropes, and OH MY! OH MY! URANAGE BY TACT! TACT JUST BURIED POE WITH THE HUMBLING!”

SHADES: “Shows how much YOU know, Mister Play-by-Play. That was a SAMBO suplex.”

ROSS “…”


SHADES: “What?”

ROSS: “Both men are down, that … SAMBO suplex took a lot out of Larry
Tact. (Shades smirks off-camera) Tact is slowly, slowly crawling over to Jarod Poe, and here’s the cover! ONE … TWOOOOOO … THREEEEEEEE! TACT

FALEY: “Here is your winner … (CUEUP: “Karma” – Diffuser) …

(The ref raises Tact’s arm as the crowd ERUPTS with boos)

ROSS: “Ladies and gentlemen, Tact just earned a hard-fought victory over Jarod Poe. We’ve got to go to commercial, we’ll be right back!”

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