2009 FW Draft Thread

[fugginVOSS]

[The Amstrad monitor is flickering with snow all over the screen yet the audio seems to come through loud and clear.]

TNM7: Oli-ver... Copp... Cham-pi-on-ship... Wrest-ling... sel-ect... JASON SNOW!

[The monitor puts on a ski cap and pushes off down a slope that appears from nowhere.]

 

[CuseTroy]

[Mitch returns to the podium, his rotting flesh surrounded by buzzing flies.]

MITCH: Zombie need bug repellent ... for HOUSEFLY.

 

[ShawnHartXXX]

Boogie Smallz. Suicide. Thank you.

 

[CuseTroy]

Zombie need fashion consulant ... Zombie pick "The Model Citizen" CHANDLER TSONDA

 

[fugginVOSS]

[The Amstrad monitor is looking at the camera with complete disdain, if it were even monitorly possible.]

TNM7: Oli-ver... Copp... Cham-pi-on-ship... Wrest-ling... sel-ect... STEVE KNOX!

[The monitor fades to gold.]

 

[LQJT86C]

(CUTTO: DAVID LETTERMAN masturbating over a burning picture of WILLOW PALIN)

LETTERMAN: So young...so beautiful...it's ANARKY I tell you, ANARKY!

Well that wasn't a very good segue at all...

(FTB)

 

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: The Captain of the anti-whaling boat.)

CAPTAIN: My crew has made a pick, and I'm not to sure about it due to my anti-fur stance...But I do hope this person doesn't wear any of it in their efforts to look good...

We select "The Fashion Plate" Marcus Price.

 

[jediPREZ]

(KABUKI stands at a Memphis cemetery)

THE GREAT KABUKI: "Give us...JEFF GARVIN."

 

[TH]

CC: o hai! I'z back from mah vacation. thx to Mr. Brunk 4 makin mah pick... no, I can has a muffin, plz? o noes! not a muffin, but "The Muffin Man" Kin Hiroshi kthx

 

[TSiegel]

(CUTTO: A pool party/BBQ. Beer, Alcohol, Women in G-strings without much more brains in them things line the side of the pool and short-end bar not too much farther off has the hosts of the said party, The Dangle Brothers at their worst. Both turn around and groove to ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" as they also do the "finger-point", made famous by the same band. The Camera pans to the right as girls get giggly and valley-girl like as the entrance to the backyard opens up and none other than "WFW BASTARD SON" JARED WELLS, wearing a robe with a "Captain 'N' Coke" in hand with a lime in it.)

JW: Any of you ladies wanna lick Daddy's Lime??

FADEOUT

 

[Nova]

AWA Sixth and Seventh Round Picks

(CUTTO: HYPERSPACE KID behind the podium, looking tired. He clears his throat.)

HYPERSPACE KID: "In the misty opaque realm of the Astral Wrestling Alliance, nowhere is the battle between Good and Evil waged more openly, more literally, than between our 6th Round pick Deacon...and our 7th Round pick Bruce 'Violence Jack' Shanahan."

(FADEOUT.)

 

[TSiegel]

Re: AWA Sixth and Seventh Round Picks

(CUTTO: The Dangle Brothers standing at a podium, "Ron Burgandy"-style.)

DB: This JUST IN!!! IMPULSE!!!.

(The Dangle Brothers then look at each other at the same time before looking back at the camera.)

DB: CANNONBALL!!!!!

(Fadeout as the guys tear through everything and jump into the nearby pool.)

 

[TH]

Re: AWA Sixth and Seventh Round Picks

CC: o hai! i'z been playin video gamze lately... mah pokeymanz, let me show you dem! *ahem* butz i does has a pick related to teh gamze... i can has "The Final Fantasy" Seymour Almasy plz?

 

[jediPREZ]

I want my Greenie article.

(FADEIN: KABUKI looking crazed into the camera...)

KABUKI: "ABDOMINAL STRETCH! NO! ADLLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEX! ADLAHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEX!"

(FTB)

translation: "Mr. Magnificent" Tom Adler

 

[The Great Eye]

(The whaling ship continues to sail around)

CAPTAIN: We need a man with the Ocean in his blood and combat in his soul...ULW selects OLVIR ARSVINNAR!

 

[LQJT86C]

(CUTTO: Willow Palin's severed head)

PALIN'S SEVERED HEAD: WPW selects...CAMERON CRUISE!

JUST KIDDING!

We actually select TROY DOUGLAS...sorry Cammy! Vivi love u!

(FTB)

 

[fugginVOSS]

[The Amstrad begins to play an acoustic guitar, purring in time to the tune..]

TNM7: Oli-ver... Copp... Cham-pi-on-ship... Wrest-ling... sel-ect... Mittens T. Cat!

[The Amstead smashes the guitar over it's head.]

 

[CuseTroy]

Pro Wrestling ZOMBIE pick CAMERON CRUISE.

 

[TH]

Alright Aston, remember the second end of your back-to-back picks begins the tag round!

 

[ShawnHartXXX]

With my picks, it's SLAMBO THE CLOWN, then RICHARD FARNSWIRTH and CHIP FRIENDLY to complete the original HPSC (sans Ken Cloverleaf)