AGGRESSION 67: Aaron Jones vs. Classy Mike C

[DBrunkGXW]

Post all RP here.

 

[Classy Mike C]

And we open on Classy Mike C's face...

I'm not the most popular guy in the world of professional wrestling. I rub people up the wrong way, I've let people down in the past and I've not always been the most reliable. Some people say I'm too "real", that I break kayfabe too much. It's true...maybe I do reach out of the screen every so often, maybe I smash the fourth wall and tell it how it is. But that's just me. That's who I am.

But what does it matter? I'm only the narrator...

And now we zoom out from his stern, battle-worn face. Now we zoom out and see Classy Mike C in all his, erm, "glory". And he's who we are here to seem, the star of our show and EPW's newest superstar. But this isn't Mike C's first time in EPW. Oh no, that was back in 2006...it didn't go too well.

But here I am, whittering on. I only get paid really to say things like "Classy Mike C exits the shop and looks into the camera". For the record, he's not exiting a shop. He's just sitting there. So let's hand over to him.

Mike C: 2006. Six long years ago. Some of the years long and hard, some of the years glorious and celebratory, but at no point during that time did I think that I'd be back here. Empire Pro Wrestling. Now I don't know if any of you really remember me, but Dan Ryan certainly does. I came in here as a fresh faced...well, slightly less battered faced, superstar riding high in EUWC. I was their World Champion, the owner's hand picked lieutenant to clean up the company and take it to the top of the wrestling world, and Dan Ryan liked what he saw. He brought me in to EPW to try and boost ratings, give something different to the paying customers. And for a few weeks it went well, I teamed with Adam Benjamin and we made quite a nice little team...

Then I got bored.

Am I proud of it? No, I was an idiot with an ego contract and a nice, big, juicy EUWC contract to fall back on. But I just stopped turning up for work. I missed personal appearances, I was cold to the fans and I phoned it in during the matches I was obligated to compete in. I was every owner's worst nightmare.

But that was six years ago, and this is different. Dan Ryan is willing to give me a second chance and damned if I won't be taking it.

He certainly should take it, I've seen Mike C's flat and I've seen what EPW are paying him...he could use the money.

Mike C: The world of wrestling is a very different world in 2012. Some people would say that's a bad thing, that things were better in the past. Those people are nothing but sentimental fools. You look at the depth of talent on this roster and it's stunning, you look at the characters and the personas...something special is happening. And I want to be at the fulcrum of it. For me, Aggression 67 is the start of what will hopefully be a marvellous story and the greatest chapter in the book that is my career...Classy Mike C: The Tides of Progress...

Let's hope the publishers come up with something better...

Mike C: And who gets to play the first character we encounter in this chapter? Young Aaron Jones...the character who inevitably gets killed off early...the Drew Barrymore of Mike C's EPW odyssey. I've been watching EPW, getting myself ready for my return, and you interest me kid. You're clearly eager, you want to reach the top...sure, it might be the top of the refereeing world but you're still looking to go places. And I know that your skills are, shall we say, "rudimentary". But hey, God loves a tryer...doesn't he?

Aggression is going to be exciting for both of us kid. I'm not here for any nonsense, I'm here for redemption and for greatness. You're clearly all about the nonsense, if you can't get a job as a referee but can as a wrestler then something is seriously wrong. Either way, I want you to savour Aggression and savour being in that ring. You might get a little beaten, a little bruised, but you'll be in the ring...Daddy's ring. Now I'm going to stop short of calling myself "The Daddy"...I'm already accused of being a British stereotype by too many ignorant opponents so I don't want to get all "Guy Ritchie" on everyone...but I'll be teaching you a lesson.

I'm sure anyone who watched ULTRATITLE is starting to worry now. When Mike C starts getting educational it inevitably turns into a Children's TV circus...

Mike C: What is that lesson? Its not how to wrestle and its not how to get beat...its not going to manifest in the form of a Kids TV show, not this week anyway...

Phew.

Mike C: It's that when you want something, when you really aspire to something...maybe its to be World Champion, maybe its to own a Ferrari, maybe its to follow in Daddy's footsteps...you should never try and take a short cut. And that's all wrestling is to you, right? A short cut to Daddy's approval? Keep going that way Aaron and you'll get nowhere, and I'll be the first man to send you on that past. Don't feel too bad about it though Kid, it's just business...and if you're lucky I'll let you make the count when I pin your shoulders to the mat...

And he's back...or here, depending on if you remembered him the first time round. We focused one last time on Classy Mike C's face and then we're gone. Ready for Aggression and ready for the next chapter in Mike C's career. Now if only someone could come up with a pithy title for the chapter to end proceedings here...

...

Crap.

 

[GARTHIsTheLaw]

<i>(We fade in on the interior of a mostly empty locker room. Sitting on a bench in the middle of it – red-faced, sweat-drenched, breathing hard and basically looking like a workout just beat the crap out of him – is Aaron Jones. He looks up at the camera, then shoots a quick look to the side)</i>

<b>Aaron Jones:</b> You’re sure you don’t mind me hogging the space?

<b>Offscreen voice:</b> No worries. Take as long as you need.

<b>Jones:</b> Appreciate it.

<i>(Jones looks back up at the camera)</i>

<b>Jones:</b> It’s nice that they’ve been so cool about letting me tape promos here. Not that I’m surprised, necessarily, but you have to understand it’s a pretty serious change from the way I’ve been used to doing them. I know it always just looked like an ordinary room with terrible lighting, but you have no idea how much production value went into everything Copycat did.

This is different. This is just me with a camera I hope doesn’t tip over, filming in a locker room I hope nobody walks through half-naked. Now that I’m seeing things from this perspective, I kind of wonder whether the rest of EPW goes this route, or whether most of them go the Copycat route of spending a bunch of money to make it look minimal.

I suppose it’s not something anyone will own up to.

But it’s just one of a million little things I’ve learned lately. I’ve learned moves, counters, strategies, promotional tips, travel tips, which people backstage give a crap and which people don’t.

I’ve learned that some guys walk out of matches for no real reason, some guys don’t compete at all and send their kids in their place, and some guys have double underhook faceslam finishing moves that will make you wish you’d never been born.

Some lessons are learned harder than others.

Most recently, I’ve learned that some guys misinterpret everything you stand for, throw in a few clichés and call it a pre-match strategy.

I’m kidding, of course. I didn’t learn that recently.

It kind of happens all the time in EPW.

And I get it. You pump yourself up for a match by convincing yourself your opponent has no way of winning because of Character Flaw X, Strategic Deficiency Y and Physical Inadequacy Z.

I guess my public acknowledgment of my many limitations makes me something of a rarity. Go figure that <i>that’s</i> the way I set myself apart from the crowd.

Anyway, that the EPW roster has tendency to distort and disparage isn’t a new lesson to me. The lesson, I think, is how to respond to it properly.

It’s an area in which I really don’t have any practical experience, I admit. I tried to do it when I was having to defend Copycat without knowing what the hell he was thinking, but all indications seem to be that I was pretty bad at it.

So do I give a point-by-point response? Do I try to wrap it all up into some vague generality? Do I ignore it and try to cover up with threats and name-calling?

Help me out, Classy Mike C. You’re the expert here.

I could focus on the suggestion that wrestling is just a “shortcut” to refereeing to me. Nobody else thought that made any sense, right? You ask me, it’s a pretty significant longcut. If that’s a thing.

Yes, I asked Dan Ryan to let me wrestle as a step toward following in my dad’s footsteps. So yes, success as a wrestler isn’t my No. 1 goal. I don’t think that makes me any less legitimate a competitor than you, Mike, but whatever. Agree to disagree.

Here’s the thing, though. If you’ve spent even a little time looking at my background, and I think you have, you know I’m not just doing this for my dad’s approval. I’m doing this for everyone’s approval – because I need to regain their trust after the time I spent as a lackey in the employ of a maniac.

And if I’m doing this for widespread approval, how does that make me any different from you?

Hint: It doesn’t. You’re doing the same thing. You came right out and said it – you want to redeem yourself for your previous EPW run back in 2006.

Now, wrestling in search of approval, that’s nothing novel. Everybody on the EPW roster is doing it on some level, though a whole lot of them would sooner die than admit it.

Wrestling for redemption, though – now that’s a cause I can get behind.

You’re doing it. I’m doing it. Our crimes are different, but our sentences are the same.

So let’s not get too hung up on each other’s failings. I’ve got mine. I know what they are. I don’t need to be reminded verbally. I expect I’ll be getting plenty of physical reminders over the next few months.

Let’s just look at this match for what it is: A couple of guys who’ve done wrong and want to make it right.

Granted, one of us has to lose, so one guy won’t climb as many rungs on that ladder to redemption as the other. And good news: There’s a sporting chance that guy will be me.

But I’m not about to let that stop me from going out there and giving it everything I’ve got. Just as I’m not about to be discouraged by your dismissal of my goals.

What kind of redemption could I hope for then?

<i>(Jones gets up from the bench and walks toward the camera. He turns to the side as he does)</i>

<b>Jones:</b> All right, I’m good!

<i>(Other gym patrons begin to filter in as Jones switches off the camera, cutting things abruptly to black)</i>