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UPDATED 11/5
Kneel, and bow before me. Don’t be
shy. My name is Sammy Benson, your constant example of morality. I understand,
you’ve waited a lifetime. Come my son, and walk with me through the gates
of Happy Hour.
Often I’ve tried to put my
finger on exactly what the masses love about Sammy Benson.
My honesty? No doubt. My uncontrollable hatred for Canadians, and the
promise that if elected we’d finally give our brothers up north the
swift kick they’ve needed for so long. I mean, really…Canada what went
wrong?
Anyway. Maybe the fact that
now with the new digital technology, I simply look even more delicious. I
admire that myself.
Perhaps, it’s the candor
with which I admit that even at my age, I take pleasure in biting a
monkey’s ---- via an animal cracker. That swings back up to honesty, I
guess.
No, the answer is that here it
is late Friday night and instead of checking the CS TRIBUNE,
I’m on the LOVE BOAT throwin down a
Foster’s beer with Eddy, and Sweet Melissa. "Canadian:
Australian for Gay".
Yes, while the masses are
clickin ads and hanging on every word I say, I’m stone cold drunk and
blown away in amazement at exactly how low she can go. Eddy, I don’t
know where you found her, but you’ve ruined me my good man. Momma always
said one day I’d get a sweet tooth.
I was asked to speak about
Hornet’s departure. But:
a) I’m too drunk to hold a
coherent thought in my head, and
b) I’m not about to let a
single thought of "The Greatest American Fool" ruin what has
started to be the weekend of my life.
Yes, Melissa…daddy does need
a brand new bag.
(Comments
expressed in "The Happy Hour" do not necessarily represent the
CSWA or CS Enterprises On-line, Inc.) |
