RP Museum (Old RP)

[BarryClarkJr]

LVW/7-10 Commercial

(Camera opens up to a Walter Ray Williams Jr look-alike at the ball return awaiting his shot. Meanwhile 7-10 Hudgins is sitting indian style in his seat oddly with his right arm in the air as he is waving his fingers back and fourth in slow motion)

(PBA ANNOUNCERS - Chris Schenkel & Nelson Burton Jr)

CHRIS SCHENKEL: Yes we are here in the Pavilion at Manhattan Beach and your looking at Walter Ray Williams Jr and he is up now in the tenth frame.

NELSON BURTON JR: Needs two strikes to win the match.

(The fake Walter Ray Williams Jr grabs his ball, assumes the position and goes for his shot. All of the sudden 7-10 Hudgins jumps up out of his seat, sprints over to the fake Walter Ray and tackles him midway on his approach. Ball flies out of the camera shot as both men land one lane over)

CROWD: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

(Image appears on TV screen)

NELSON BURTON JR: Well, he has to be disappointed. Did not throw a good shot and ultimately ends up with a very difficult spare.

CHRIS SCHENKEL: Can you imagine that?

(Camera opens back to LIVE action with 7-10 Hudgins getting up and pointing to the crowd)

7-10 HUDGINS: HOW ABOUT THAT HUUUUUH? WANT SOME OF THAT? COME TRY SOME!!!!

(FADEOUT)

 

[PurpleBlueberry]

Re: Knuckles Vs Dakota

(OPEN ON: A long and very poorly lit alleyway, its borders peppered with the occasional dumpster, gathering of boxes, passed out bum and stray, wandering cat. At first silhouetted, but gradually coming into view as a plume of smoke rises and stretches behind him is Knuckles Malone, but you don't want to call him that, "Knuckles."

He drags off a butt as he yaps.)

Knuckles: The name's Mugsy. Mugsy Malone, sonnyjim and you better start tryin to forget it right the f*ck now. I got a lot of things waiting on you, Dakota, a lot more than you could ever wanna count and I can sure as Shirley Temple's little nanny tastes like french vanilla ice cream and honey with fried chocolate on top guarantee you that you aint never had anything hurt so much as what I got waiting for you.

I know yer name and yer dumb mug and I seen ya wrestle. I seen ya flop around like a greasy little three dollar and thirty-five cent wh*re after two pints of whiskey and half a dozen doses of d*ck. Yer about as intimidating as a freshly raped corpse. I heard the winner's dib is more than twice the losers so I'm gonna have to give ya the high hat here and hurt ya more than the Brown Bomber did Schmeling, see?

I heard ya talk about respect or integrity or smoking penises and how the blood stains on yer shorts resemble the almighty Jesus with a shorter haircut and a rack like Hayworth's. I can smell ya from here, see? You smell like bullsh*t and stale p*ssy. You smell like fear and regret and I got some seersuckin free samples of grief and pain for your dopey little a*s.

Dakota Assington, I hereby place you at number one on Mack's gadamn most wanted. An' I only want ya worthless bindlestiff hide for one thing, see? Now get ready and write it down cos I'm only sayin it to ya once, you aint worth more words an' breath than what I already tossed away on ya here. I wanna set an example of ya. I'm takin a veteran like you, a shiny little do-goodie button at that and I'm gonna break ya up. Sure as Lindberg flew the gaddamned Atlantic, I'm flyin yer a*s up a damn flagpole and whoever the h*ll don't salute can sure as Shirley Temple juggles dildoes and fairydust bet that their a*s just made my hit list.

Call the elephant ears, call yer papa, call the dern federals, there isn't a force on earth saving you from the knuckling yer about to suffer, egg. Blame yer dumb fat mouth and rue the day yer heard the name Mugsy Gadamn Malone.

(A loud CRACK of Malone's knuckles is heard as we begin to FADE OUT. However, we slowly FADE IN once more to catch Malone taking a few steps away from the camera before abruptly stopping and turning to face us)

Knuckles: Oh yeah...Johnny Number 1 Douche, don't ya never traipse up near my shiners again, see? Ya scuff 'em up an' well, you don't want to do that now. You understand.

(A beat. As Malone crooks his head back and forth, loosening up.)

Knuckles: Dakota. Don't ya worry now, when yer poor bruised, battered, bloodied blodjam of an a*s is laid up in the infirm, I'll be there, when this is all said and done, to counsel and content your poor, grieving mother.

(CUT TO BLACK)

 

[RStrawsma]

Valhalla Productions 010 - Wrath of the Rump-Wrangler

(Backstage at the House of Blues in Mandalay Bay, LVW talent rep/fanboy-with-a-pass IGGY DORKJANKER has been spent the past thirty-six minutes and forty-three seconds locked in a life and death struggle with the world’s “wrinkliest” one dollar bill and the slot in a vending machine. No doubt, we can draw parallels from this picture to his sex life.)

VALHALLA PRODUCTION COMPANY​

Presents​

(Unfortunately for Iggy, since much of the show had been missed due to his one-tracked determination to nab that last Zagnut he’s had his eye on since he showed up for the show earlier in the evening, he isn’t quite expecting what’s about to happen next as he grimaces over George Washington’s crumpled face spewing back at him for the thousandth time.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
GGGRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH~11!!!!!!!!

OLVIR ARSVINNAR​

In​

(The entire resort casino and hotel QUAKES as the voice louder than a million storming hurricanes ERUPTS from right around the corner! Iggy springs nearly three feet into the air and turns to the nondescript hallway as a pair of fearful stage hands dash by, literally running for their lives.)

(Then, suddenly emerging into the frame is the HUFFING and STEAMING form of the notorious titanic-sized pornstar Viking that’s made WAVES through the worlds of professional wrestling and pornography. Now LOOMING over the pale-faced Iggy Dorkjanker is the MASSIVE FRAME of OLVIR ARSVINNAR!! His eye, blue as the Arctic icecaps, are practically FLAMING with rage!)

"WRATH OF THE RUMP-WRANGLER"​

​

Iggy Dorkjanker
…O—

Olvir Arsvinnar
GGGRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH~11!!!!!!!!

(Iggy’s entire pate of hair rushes back as if facing a gale of blowing wind. Without hesitation, Olvir turns to the VENDING MACHINE and grasps it within his mighty hands…)

(In the next shot, we see Dorkjanker SPRINTING around another corner, squealing like a Kindergartner. Moments later, the vending machine comes HURTLING THROUGH THE HAIR, shattering into a THOUSAND PIECES against the wall! The fawned-over Zagnut comes sailing through the air, and, by coincidence, smacks the LVW talent rep in the back of the head as he continues his retreat.)

Iggy Dorkjanker
OLVIR, I THINK YOU NEED TO RELAX, BUDDY!!

(The pleas thrown over his shoulder fall on the deaf ears of the maddened Norseman now rounding the corner.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
THE THIEF!!!

THE KNAVE!!!

THE COWARD!!!

(The storm bursts its way into the common area backstage. More crew members, taking a load off now that production has ceased, scatter like birds. Olvir steps up to the nearest table.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
WHEN I FIND HIM, I WILL DECAPITATE HIM!!

(He FLIPS IT OVER without effort, sending at least half a dozen snacks scattered across the floor.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
I WILL DISMEMBER HIM!!

(Roaring like a beast, he charges shoulder-first into the Coke machine, knocking it over and sending the entire line of Sprite rolling out through the dispenser.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
I WILL DESTROY HIM!!!

(Olvir’s raging eyes find the fearful form of Iggy standing with his back plastered to the wall. The Viking stomps over to him and picks him up a foot of the ground by his shirt collar.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
And MARK MY WORDS, Puny Ignatius… when the FOOL has at last been SMOTE BENEATH MY UNYIELDING STRENGTH… I will take his woman upon my shoulder and DEFLOWER HER ARSE!!!

(A moment lingers as the Norseman continues to SNARL in Iggy’s whimpering face, their noses only separated by mere millimeters.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Now… WHO WAS IT?!?

Iggy Dorkjanker
Uhhh… uhhh… I d-dunno, Olvir.

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! IMPOSSIBLE!!

Were you not WATCHING that cowardly act of ROBBERY when it happened?!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Oh, uh… w-well, you see, I was a bit, uhm… d-distracted at the time.

(Effortlessly, Olvir TOSSES Iggy aside as if he had the resale value of used toilet tissue and continues angrily stomping down the hallway, punching and breaking everything that so much as looks out of place.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
THE GREAT OLVIR WILL NOT REST UNTIL HE FINDS VENGEANCES!!

NOBODY dishonors a Viking and GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!

(SQUISH!! As he departs, Olvir’s massive furry boot stamps down on the last remaining Zagnut left carelessly on the floor. Iggy, dusting himself off as he gets to his feet, grimaces over the fate of his candy bar. Fade to black as more carnage can be heard going down deeper backstage.)

 

[The Great Eye]

The Spaniard Vs 1248

Rp for this match here.

 

[The Great Eye]

Empire Vs Olvir/Knuckles

Rp for this match here.

 

[The Great Eye]

7-10 Vs Born Again

Main event Rp here.

 

[CaptCongaLine]

Re: The Spaniard Vs 1248

(FADEIN: A luxurious apartment somewhere in Vegas. The Spaniard reclines in his chair. His mask does not leave much to say about his current state of mind but no doubt he is deep in thought. We can tell by...)

SPANIARD: One-two-four-eight...one-two-four-eight...one-two-fo - HOLY MOSES! THA'SS IT!

(CUTTO: LVW backdrop...inside said apartment's master bedroom. Hands in his hips, SPANIARD's chest blossoms out to an erect wall of manly muscle.)

SPANIARD: Allo mi amigos. For I have come across a grave new revelation while in the high, high lofts of my kingdom...I have broken the code. A code that is no question in my mind will reveal a name later...has been cracked! By the one and only Spaniard, of course! Now, the code means...

(ZOOMIN: SPANIARD's blue eyes peering into the souls of those watching.)

SPANIARD: One plus two...plus four...is seven. Plus eight...is fifteen. FIFTEEN! That's the answer. My next opponent shall wrestle like a 15 year old girl.

(SPANIARD looks around curiously and shrugs. He looks at his bed and orders a McSleep Sandwich with a side of snore.)

SPANIARD: Zzz Zzz Zzz

(FATETOBLACK)

 

[RStrawsma]

Valhalla Productions 011 - The Butt-Prier Strikes Back

(Fade in, and we’re inside a local Las Vegas fitness center. The camera tracks down a row of standard weight lifting equipment, catching the expressions of various body builders in between reps as they crane their heads toward the sound of LOUD and labored breathing.)

“OOOOOOOHHHHHHH….”

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH…”

VALHALLA PRODUCTION COMPANY​

Presents​

“OOOOOOHHHHHHH….”

“HHHHAAAAAAAGGGHHH…”

(The camera comes to a stop as it reaches the famed pornography director, TOMMY SALAMI, for once seen wearing gray sweats instead of his typical leisure suit, floral print shirt, and knock-off gold chains. His attention is heavily fixed on the person occupying the bench in front of him. We quickly find the source of the heavy, rhythmic breathing—a towering muscular titan holding a horned helmet, standing, now with his back to the camera.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
AAAAAHHHHHH…

YYYEEAAAARRRRGGGHHHH…

OLVIR ARSVINNAR​

In​

Tommy Salami
Come on, Olvir! Just five more reps!

Olvir Arsvinnar
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH….

(The camera zooms out, ever so slightly, now revealing the notorious Viking pornstar from the waist up. Surprisingly, his arms are angled out firmly at his sides, in a typical Superman pose. Still, we can hear the Ultimate Warrior-style snarled breathing, and the slight shake of a bar, leaving one to wonder, “What THE HELL is he DOING?”)

Olvir Arsvinnar
AAAAAHHHHHH…

HHHHAAAAAAAGGGHHH…

(Zoom out a bit further… now we can see the bar. Rather than fitting both ends with weights, we see two of the triplets, now referred to in some circles as “the Ixie Chicks”, sitting on either end. The bar, for that matter, seems to be hovering in air… right around where Olvir’s pelvic region is. Every time he lets out a snarling powerful exhale, the bar raises a few inches, and lowers. Suddenly, it becomes perfectly clear just what MUSCLE he’s exercising.)

"THE BUTT-PRIER STRIKES BACK"​

​

Olvir Arsvinnar
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH….

HHHHRRRRAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!!

ENOUGH!!

(The statuesque brunette doppelgangers drop down from the bar and set it in place, relieving the sweat-drenched Norsemen of his burden. Olvir readjusts his wolf-hide loincloth and turns to bear his masculine greatness to the camera, beaming a HUGE, triumphant grin.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!! YET ANOTHER meager weightlifting record broken by the GREAT OLVIR!! And even further proof that MY GREATNESS can carry ANY BURDEN!!

(The third triplet of the two-thirds of like hotness enters the frame, wearing an emerald green bikini to contrast with the ruby red and sapphire blue of her sisters’, and employs the use of a towel to dab the sweat first from Olvir’s forehead, then works her way down to his pectorals.)

Dixie
Great workout, Olvir! I guess all that PUMPING has left you a little tired, huh?

(Olvir SCOFFS!! An errant fly happening to flutter past his face at that very moment explodes into insect oblivion.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! You DARE to DEFY the GREATNESS that has PLEASED SO MANY WENCHES?! COME, bountiful maidens…

(The mighty, python-sized arms of the notorious Viking pornstar draw in all three stunningly beautiful women.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
You will SEE that my GREATNESS can NEVER TIRE, even under the MIGHTIEST OF BURDENS!! Even after ONE MILLION meager lifts… I am ready to PUMP SOME MORE!! HA HA HA HA!!

Now… shall we try ALL THREE?!?

(The girls begin to rub their hands down Olvir’s chiseled body. Catching on to the action, Tommy Salami briefly pops in front of the camera.)

Tommy Salami
Oh man, he’s at it! Whatever you do, DON’T STOP ROLLING!!

(He zips out behind the camera as the action starts to pick up…)

(…inexplicably, IGGY DORKJANKER steps into the frame and approaches Olvir.)

Iggy Dorkjanker
Hey, Olvir… you got a minute?

(COCKBLOCK!! The Great Olvir’s beaming face is BEFOULED with the gruffest of sneers.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! Can it not wait until LATER, puny YANKER of DORKS!! The GREAT OLVIR is a trite BUSY at present!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Yeah, I hate to be a bother… but I figured if I didn’t get this out of the way now, you’d be busy ramming asses for the next four hours. It won’t take long.

Olvir Arsvinnar
HMPH!! TELL ME, puny Ignatius, why your coming to me is SO IMPORTANT that it must PRECEDE this MOST MIGHTY ACT of BUTT DOMINANCE!?!

Iggy Dorkjanker
It has to do with your upcoming match at LVW 4:18. I just wanted to hear your opinions on your opponents.

(The Norseman broods for a moment until one of the triplets tugs lightly at his flowing blonde beard.)

Pixie
Come on, Olvir… we want to hear what you have to say about your match!

Trixie
Yeah! It gets us SOOO hot to hear you talk about how much you’re going to destroy them!

(They continue beginning with light, siren voices. Olvir thoughtfully strokes his beard for a moment and nods when a decision is reached.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
VERY WELL!! The Great Olvir, in his ALL-SEEING WISDOM, will SPEAK THE TRUTH of the PUNY, INSIGNIFICANT FOOLS that await DECAPITATION upon the field of BATTLE!!

AND THEN… when the WEAKLINGS are left WHIMPERING and COWERING IN FEAR at the mere SIGHT of my GREAT PRESENCE… they will no doubt cower even MORE, like the meager INSECTS they are, at the sight of my GREATNESS, as I DOMINATE the SUPPLE ARSES of these BOUNTIFUL MAIDENS!! HA HA HA HA!!

(The Viking pornstar pops a squat on the bench as the triplets lounge about his limbs, massaging various stress centers around his neck and joints. Olvir’s attention, however, is directed to the man before him.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
You have come to me NOW, Iggy the Dorkyanker, amid my STRENUOUS and VIGOROUS preparation for the battle that awaits me!

Iggy Dorkjanker
…pumping weights with your JUNK prepares you for battle? You mean to tell me you’re going to beat Aaron Roddick and “The Captain” David Richter with your, uh… “Greatness?”

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! Do not be FOOLISH, meager Dorkyanker! What you have WITNESSED is merely my preparation for the DEBAUCHERY and BUTT DOMINATION that will FOLLOW my glorious battle!

When all of this golden kingdom of Las Vegas witnesses the QUICK, PAINFUL DESTRUCTION of my FOOLISH opponents, COUNTLESS women will FLOCK to the GREAT OLVIR… and my GREATNESS must be READY!! HA HA HA HA!!

(Olvir suddenly spots something unusual.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
IGNATIUS!! You come blessed with the FUZZY PHALLUS of HERALDS!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Huh?

(Iggy looks to his junk first, just to make sure it’s not exposed… then realizes Olvir was referring to the mic in his hand. The tacky suit with it is not quite the fanboy get-up we’re used to. He even has a press badge this time.)

Iggy Dorkjanker
Oh right… this. Well, I’ve got good news and bad news.

Olvir Arsvinnar
What is the GOOD NEWS?!

Iggy Dorkjanker
…you know, it works a bit better if I give the bad news first. So here’s the bad news… I got fired earlier today. I’m not longer a LVW talent representative. I guess one of the higher ups finally figured, “Hey, what the hell does a talent rep DO, exactly?” So I got the axe.

Olvir Arsvinnar
MOST UNFORTUNATE, meager Ignatius! Still… a REMARKABLE FEAT to have survived a most BRUTAL AXING!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Uh… right.

Anyway, the good news is… LVW subsequently rehired me, now as an exclusive reporter. Basically, that means I wear this suit every day, follow you around, and ask you tedious questions so the public keeps up to date on one of the federation’s biggest stars.

Olvir Arsvinnar
AH!! So the NOBLE VALKYRIES saw fit to RETURN YOU as a HERALD!! A most FORTUNATE fast to be GRANTED, noble Ignatius!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Yeah, I can’t complain… but anyway, back to the matter at hand. At LVW 4:18, you’re in a tag match. Standing on the other end of the ring are two men who you have reason to have some grief with: “A-Rod” Aaron Roddick and “The Captain” David Richter, collectively known as The Empire.

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA… in the great many YEARS that the GREAT OLVIR has traveled this globe, he has BEATEN the greatest champions, USURPED the vilest czars, DETHRONED the noblest kings, and DOMINATED more fine ARSES than he can count! But if there is yet but ONE THING I have NOT done… it is to CONQUER an EMPIRE!!

For what seems as though TIMELESS EONS, I have waited for such an opportunity… and now, a pair of the most VILEST KNAVES to ever INSULT my GREATNESS have GIVEN ME that VERY CHANCE!!

(Seething with confident, Olvir throws his head back and lets out UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER!)

Olvir Arsvinnar
COMPLETE VICTORY is INEVITABLE!! The WORLD witnessed my DOMINANCE and OBLITERATION of the MEAGER BLASPHEMER who dares call himself “CAPTAIN!!”

It was by mere CHANCE that he ESCAPED humiliating defeat at my MIGHTY HANDS!! No doubt, before our duel, he CURSED my GREATNESS by offering a COWARDLY SACRIFICE to LOKI!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Well, actually… A-Rod kinda ran in and clocked you with that baseball without his knowledge.

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! The AUDACITY of the knave who calls himself the A-ROD!! First of all, there is only ONE rod…

(He points to his pelvic region.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
THE O-ROD!! HA HA HA HA!!

But even MORE AUDACIOUS and BLASPHEMOUS… the knave STRIKES the GREAT OLVIR, from the angle where he is BLIND… in the most CRUCIAL MOMENT of his glorious battle with the WEAK CAPTAIN!!

Victory was ROBBED from me, and many POOR FOOLS were justly DECAPITATED in the BLOODLUST that overwhelmed me as I SEARCHED for the COWARD!!

Unfortunately for HIM, he WILL NOT run from me when we are in the NOBLE ARENA and upon the field of BATTLE!! I will bring the COWARDLY ROGUE to YUSTICE… and SINK the PUNY VESSEL of the MEAGER CAPTAIN that DARES disgrace the STRIPPERS of this NOBLE KINGDOM with his FILTH and WEAKNESS!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Olvir, I told you before, the LVW Strip Title is… ah, forget it.

Sounds like you’re ready to get to some serious domination with the Empire, and good luck to you on that. But there’s another factor in this match we haven’t talked about yet, and that’s your tag partner, a one “Knuckles” Malone.

Olvir Arsvinnar
HMPH!! TELL ME of this man of KNUCKLES who will be graced with the HONOR to fight alongside THE GREAT OLVIR in his time of CONQUEST!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Well, he’s a bit of a new face on the LVW scene, but he’s already made a bit of an impact. Back at Snake Eyes, he made quite a debut by brutally attacking both The Spaniard and Nate Dakota.

Olvir Arsvinnar
A MOST MIGHTY and DEFIANT ACT!! This MALONE of KNUCKLES sounds as though he is KNOWLEDGEABLE of the VIKING WAY!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
How so?

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA!! Naturally, when there are WEAKLINGS that come to DISGRACE the noble arena, one must have the VALOR and COURAGE to SMITE such WEAK FOOLS and retain the HONOR of the battlefield! Such an act shows VIRTUE!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
If you say so. But the question now is, will you be able to co-exist?

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! Such a trifling question! If this Malone of the Knuckles is in ANY WAY as BRILLIANT or NOBLE as the VIKINGS, then he will NO DOUBT not make the FOOLISH attempt to STAND IN MY WAY or IMPEDE THE DESTRUCTION of the FOES that have wronged me!!

I am CONFIDENT, Ignatius, that we will work WELL together… and that spells certain DOOM for the KNAVES of the THE EMPIRE!! Perhaps AFTER our GLORIOUS VICTORY, I will invite this Malone back to my LONGHOUSE to put his KNUCKLES to ANOTHER USE!! HA HA HA HA!!

(Again, his massive arms reach out and draw in the drop-dead gorgeous triplets.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
What say YOU, loyal wenches?! Does that strike your liking?!

Trixie
Oh OLVIR… I’m so HOT right now!

Pixie
Why are you still talking when you could be dominating us right now??

Dixie
Take us, Olvir… TAKE US!!

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

IGNATIUS!! Make your meager self SCARCE!! My WORK-OUT CONTINUES!!

Iggy Dorkjanker
Oh boy… right, Olvir. I’ll catch you later.

(Looking a bit flushed, the newly hired LVW reporter dashes out of the scene, likely running to the men’s room to pop out a quick one. Meanwhile, the scantily-clad trio LUNGE upon the boasting Viking. Fade to black as the action begins.)

 

[LQJT86C]

SNAKE EYES- Leisure Time segment!

"The following is an excerpt from the LVW Snake Eyes TV Taping, available on DVD next month!"

(FADEIN: Lying on his couch at center ring is the Gentleman of Leisure. He’s sporting a gray hooded sweatshirt and matching sweatpants with sneakers. Leaning his head on one hand, a microphone in the other, he speaks…)

GOL: “Ladies and gentleman, this is…Leisure Time…where life is so easy that…it should be, by all means…illegal. I am, of course, your host…the Gentleman of Leisure, and today I have a very special guest. Please welcome the…LVW Champion, Just One Dude Looking For…um…well, we call him…J1D.” (Crowd POPS!)

(CUEUP: “Down” by 311)

(A clean-shaven but nappy-headed J1D comes out to roaring cheers. He lifts the LVW red and platinum Championship Title, complete with spinner, above his head while squinting his eyes and smiling with an overbite as if to say “Shyyyyaahhhh!!!” Fans are reaching out to touch the belt and J1D is happy to comply, dragging it along their hands, letting them flick the spinner. Following him is a very dapper individual in an expensive suit; he looks like a young Johnny Cochrane. J1D chucks his title under the ropes and slides in after it, picking it up and raising it to the crowd one more time to massive applause)

GOL: “J1D...LVW Champion or….pretender to the throne? (J1D shakes his head as the crowd boos) Not my sentiments…in fact…but those of the number one contender…Born Again. What say you…champ?”

(J1D grabs the mic)

J1D: “Hey, hey, hey, how’s it hangin’ DUUUUDES?! (CROWD: “J1D! J1D! J1D!”) Every day of my life just keeps getting gnarlier and gnarlier, which would make today the GNARLIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! SHYAH! (Looks at GOL) Thanks for allowing me to make your most excellent acquaintance brah, and under better circumstances I might just cancel this whole interview and invite you back to my locker room bungalow for a little toke n’ smoke! Unfortunately, I gotta come out here and do something I didn’t wanna…and that’s talk BUSINESS! (Boos) Shyaaahhhh! Business SUCKS MAN! (Cheers!) Especially when it’s the business of defending your title reign to a bunch of bogus ASSWIPES like Born Again and his attorney! But the Battle Royal’s in the past brah, dead and buried…we surfed that wave and did so BEAUTIFULLY, and now we’re on to bigger, better, and bodaciously dudelier things…like KICKING BORN AGAIN’S PASTY WHITE ASSSS, BRAH!” (Cheers!)

GOL: “All well and good. But the…match will be fought under…the Lord’s Rules. Wouldn’t you say the odds are…stacked against you?”

J1D: “Like a bad game of Jenga, dude! But if Jerry thinks he’s shredded sand on the DUDELY ONE, he most definitely thought wrong! Shyahh dude, I said I’d wrestle him under the Lord’s Rules, but he’s not skating free with some BOGUS BULLCRAP stipulations that his attorney drew up. Hey Magnus Von Brosefsson, do you really think I’ll do some crap where like, you get to face me while my limbs are tied to sandbags, or like…a rabid bobcat gets superglued to my scalp? NOOOOO WAY! (Cheers!) That’s why I went out on the strip and found the best man ‘o law this side of the Palms Resort and Casino! I’m talkin’ about the bro with the mini-fro who smokes a whole lot of J1D’s vegetation growth…none other than QUINCY REGGIE RATLIFF JR!”

RATLIFF: “Yes, hi…is this thing on? Perfect. Your champion, Mr. D, or J1 as I prefer to reference him, has provided me with the in-dubious honor of reviewing any and all title defense contracts offered up by the EL-VEE-DOUBLE-YOU, especially those containing so-called Lord’s Rules stipulations, as I’ve come to understand them. Actually, I have NOT come to understand them, as no such Rules have yet been put forth. So we kindly ask…no, scratch that…we will not-so-kindly sue your asses, should no such rules be presented my client by this time next week.”

J1D: “YEAH BRAH! So Ben Lerner can EAT IT!” (Cheers!)

RATLIFF: “Yes, this is correct. Essentially, Ben Learner can ea-WHAT? ‘Scuse me? Come again? Did you say Ben Lerner?”

J1D: “Shyah brah, Ben Lerner.”

RATLIFF: “Ben Lerner Attorney at Law?”

J1D: “I’m pretty sure, yeah dude. Buttmunch who’s talkin’ smack on me and my people’s title reign.”

RATLIFF: “The ‘hard hitter’ from the commercials? Oh boy…no baby, this is wrong, it’s just all wrong! I didn’t come out here to take on Mr. Ben Lerner. Ben, if you are listening…I am SO SORRY Ben…” (Heavy boos!)

J1D: “WHAAAAT? Duuuude! No dude, NOT COOL! We came out here to stand up to authority…to stick it to the man!”

RATLIFF: “Yeah I said stick it to the man…not stick it to THE MAN. Oh my goodness gracious, Ben Lerner knows every judge in town…my practice could be ruined if he found out I was here (nervously)…umm…uhh…I have uhh…reviewed the legality of your title reign, and have determined that it is, beyond a shadow of a doubt…ILLEGAL! (Crowd boos loud!) Mr. Born Again should be champion…he MUST BE champion! So I’ll just be taking that belt back…” (latches onto the LVW Championship Title in a tug of war with J1D)

J1D: “No brah! You sold me out! You can’t have it!”

GOL: “Oh God…they’re fighting for it.”

(The two men struggle over the belt for a second until J1D pulls it out of his hands, and picks up Ratliff in a full body press. The crowd is cheering big time, but they explode in excitement as J1D runs up to the ring ropes and TOSSES RATLIFF INTO THE FRONT ROW! The crowd erupts in an LVW! chant, as Ratliff gets crowd surfed to the back of the building! J1D picks up the mic)

J1D: “You see that Born Again?! You can hire a bunch of crooked ass lawyers to try and steal you this belt, as many as you want! You can try and force your dumb rules on me! You can pray, not eat meat, refuse a toke of the doobie, and circumsize your weasel all you like…but this building? This place? THIS IS MY CHURCH, BRAH! (Cheers!) In fact, it’s a MEGACHURCH! And just like those tourists who ruin the beaches of Hawaii pretending to shred when they just bought their first boogie board last season, pretending to be professionals and all…YOU DON’T HAVE A PRAYER OF SHREDDING THIS WAVE MAHARASHI! This title? It stays with US!”

(CUEUP: “Down” by 311)

(CROWD: “J1D! J1D! J1D! J1D!”)

(FADEOUT)

 

[LQJT86C]

Re: 7-10 Vs Born Again

(FADEIN: J1D leaning back on his red beanbag with the red and platinum LVW Championship Title draped over his waist. His floor is littered with fritos, surfing magazines, casino chips, and wheel barings for his skateboard. He looks at the camera with bloodshot eyes)

J1D: Hey there dudes, come check out the life of a champion! It totally consists of hangin' ten in my sweet digs, chillaxin' with the gnarley fans who made me what I am, and day dreamin' about the surf! Sure, I gotta eat a little foam every now and then, but I'm the type of dude who gets right back out there and TRIES, TRIES AGAIN BRAH!

Unlike Born Again, who doesn't know how to have a good time or chillax...he just gets all aggro on people like a dumbass for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER BRO!

Seven Ten is cool with me; I know he likes to bowl. I, too, brah, like to bowl, and maybe we can mozey on down to the lanes and go half in for some grindage while we hit the pins!

Except it's gonna have to be after I ref this match, cause then people might not think I'm being down the middle. And I AM gonna call it down the middle...believe me bro.

If there's one thing I pride myself on other than smokin' bowls with LVW fans and letting them abuse my belt spinner, it's being a pretty fair guy. And as much as an assclown I think Born Again is, I fully intend to enforce the LVW rulebook...which The Floor needs to get to me, cuz dude I have NO CLUE what it says, hahaha, GOTTA BE HONEST!

And bro...if I see Ben Lerner or any potential Born Again minions trying to scuff up the mojo in the ring...I'm gonna be all over them like a 7-11 brainfreeze!!!!

You guys get in the ring, shake hands, or not...whatever...and get down to putting on a show for the coolest fans OF-ALL-TIME! Cuz if you don't, seriously dude?...I'm gonna be p*ssed. And I HATE to be p*ssed cause it's not the Gandhi way...

If you just keep it nice and legal, and Born Again if you apologize...maybe we can all just be friends afterwards and I can add your cell phones to my Broladex and hit you up sometime to scarf down on some megabean burritos at the bodega sometime.

EXCEPT BORN AGAIN IS TOO MUCH OF POSER TO DO THAT! Yeah, you heard me brah!

Sorry dudes, didn't mean to aggro there.

Peace everyone, be good, and remember...at the end of the day we're all just one dude looking for adventure, but should by all means be willing to party along the way!

(FADEOUT)

 

[PaulNJ21]

Matt and the Maddkitty 06/15/09


MADDKITTY: HEEEEY EVERYONE, HOOOOW ARE YOU TODAAAY? Matty & The Maddkitty ready to start off another five hour broadcast on WMAN. How are doing today Matty?

MATTY: Good, we have a lot to cover today so lets go right to the phones with our first guests of the day, Empire, “A-Rod” Aaron Roddick and “The Captain” David Richter. You there guys?

CAPTAIN: Hey Matty, good talking to you again. We need to get out on the golf course again soon.

MATTY: The knee has still been bothering me so I'll have to take a raincheck on that one.

MADDKITTY: Maybe if you lost a little weight, that knee wouldn't always be acting up. ::laughs at his own jokes::

::dead silence::

A-ROD: Thanks for having us on the show guys.

MADDKITTY: It is an honor and you know what we have to talk about today, at LVW 4:18, you are scheduled to take on Oliver Aresnar...

MATTY: Olvir Arsvinnar...

MADDKITTY: And his partner Knuckles, this Ollie guy has caused a bit of controversy already in LVW... Captain, what is your take on this situation?

CAPTAIN: I feel he portrays a negative stereotype of homosexuality. Where is the love story in these movies to draw these audiences in? It seems like these writers are only concerned with writing as little poorly constructed dialogue as possible into these movies to fill them with non stop sex. Olvir makes some horrible movie choices. If I was him, I'd fire my agent.

A-ROD: I've never even seen one of his movies playing in my local movie theater. This last weekend, I was going to do some research, but I had to settle for going see “Up” and let me tell you, that title is extremely misleading. It barely fulfilled my sexual needs at all.

MATTY: Where is all the quality gay porn these days? The only way I can get the feeling of being bent over and sodomized is going to see “Land of the Lost.”

MADDKITTY: Sir Lawrence Olvir he is not...

CAPTAIN: What bothers me even more is that is he is hung like a Smurf and at least the blue on Papa Smurf isn't from some STD.

A-ROD: He has some weird psychedelic thing going on down there. It is like a bad acid trip.

MADDKITTY: He really should go see the LVW trainer about that.

CAPTAIN: I think that is how he got it Kitty.

MADDKITTY: ::laughs uncontrollably::

A-ROD: What bother me the most about Olvir is how much he goes on and on about his physique. I mean, does he look like the Incredible Hulk next to Captain? Absolutely. But next to me, he looks like the before picture of the ninety pound weakling from those old comic books.

MATTY: Well, you were lucky to have been blessed with amazing genetics, Olvir has to work with what he has.

A-ROD: I will tell you this, if I was starring in those films, there would be no need to pay the other thespians because they would volunteer to work with me for free.

THE CAPTAIN: That does set an awfully bad example for the children.

MATTY: We are running short on time before we have to go to commercial break, before we go, quickly summarize while Empire will beat Olvir & Knuckles.

THE CAPTAIN: A-Rod and I may be different fundamental people with fundamental values, but we've worked as a team for a long time together and have won championships together. Facing off one on one with us and us working as a team for a common goal are a completely different animal. I think we are going to go out there and show there world why we are the greatest tag team in wrestling today.

A-ROD: Knuckles isn't even going to know what hit him.

MADDKITTY: Thanks for joining us guys, it has been a pleasure as usual, lets go to the twenty twenty sports break!

END

 

[PurpleBlueberry]

Re: Empire Vs Olvir/Knuckles

(BLACK SCREEN. The smashing of objects is heard - metal colliding with wood, vulcanized rubber crushing into and destroying particle board, glassware smashing and scattering itself across linoleum.

A Camera has been turned on, though we can see only the linoleum floor rushing past, the occasional glimpse of a spare wall and the rushing footsteps of the man schleping the recorder.

He's evidently got it righted and we can see a hallway with the odd framed poster of past LVW events and current stars. The sounds of destruction continue and intensify as we approach a door maked "LVW GREEN ROOM."

SUDDENLY it flies open with KNUCKLES MALONE thundering directly towards and immediately past the camera, which follows as he rants.)

KNUCKLES: What's the haps, gadamitt? I'm gettin the high hat here and I don't like it! I won that fight at the Snake Pit or whatever the rats that thing was.

(KNuckles, but, really, you shouldn't call him that, turns to face the camera)

I won it, damit, didn't I!? I bashed a damn crumb-cruncher straight outta that jalopy's fool mouth! I went and clocked another sucker cos I didn't much like his phiz; hell, that boy was so ugly he made the elephant man look like Gary Cooper, I says, nyaah!

Enough a this now, listen here, I AM owed a debt an' I expect it paid off, see? An' I expect some interest now too, cos I can assure ya you aint interested in what kinda pay I'll have comin back to you longbrows if my lettuce is rots, understand?

(Mugsy takes himself a breath, sucks in some calming cool air; slows his speech down, lowers his voice and steps in close to tell us something)

You, uhhh, don't wanna make me remind ya again. See, I might forget my manners after that and you LVW execs don't wanna see me get rude now.

Let's cut to the chase here, I aint happy right this minute and what I'm gonna do is make damn well sure aint nobody happy til I got my greenbacks all lined up pretty as a field of daisies and deep as the cold, blue Atlantic.

Pardon me a moment.

(Malone fishes in his pocket for his box of Luckys. He taps one out and, taking a match from under his fedora, he strikes it against his hind, or assside, lights it on up.)

Nows, I got some business to do with some kinda Empire. I don't know what the hell those boys think they are or what they're doing, but this empire birdsquat sounds like damn fascist hullabaloo and I ain't gonna gadamn stand for it, see?

I heard a few tinny squeaks on my squawk box from a couple'a bums named Rod and Coupon talking about gadamn gays and kitty cats or crooks or cocks, hell, I dunno. I don't care. Empires are for destroying and these guys sound weak as Shirley Temple's nanny after a two-year honeymoon with King Kong and they're gonna be beat twice as bad come this 4:18. Write that down and send it your grandma, see, she gave you some wisdom, now give her some truth, nyaaaww!

And there's some Norseman with elephantitis of the genitals and mouth wants ta be my friend, hay?

(Knuckles spits his cigarette out and loses his temper somewhat)

Olivr the damn Norseman! Let's get a few facts figured straight here before I have to put ya to the bricks, see? Nobody calls me Knuckles, pally! Now, ahh, in the interest of democracy, I'll let ya slide on that one. One, once! Once more an' I'll take a tire iron to your prayer dukes more times than Shirley Temple's piddled strawberry lemonade, see? The day you walk again will be on the moon, friend.

(He takes out another cigarette and rolls it along his fingers for a few seconds, watching it before lighting it up)

S'long as ya don't smell like Boris Karloff's dingleberries, I might let ya in the gang, Norseman, you could be all right. I like the frames a them sirens, see? Bring one along for ole Mugsy here, and she and I can take a trip for every time I been to the joint.

And then another few for every time I aint, nyaah!

This big dicked Norseman an I gonna see to it the sun sets on this coupon rod empire, see? Then I'm seein to my collections. Nyah, I'll be there for this 4:18, but not for no Empire an' not for no Norseman. I'll be there to collect my dern winnings.

 

[Vertigo]

One of these things is not like the others

(Fade into Born Again, standing in front of a bowling alley. He is of course in full white suit and top hat, despite the fact he's in Las Vegas. The fact he is sweating more than a Colombian farmer does not seem to faze him much, however, as he takes the first few steps into the building.)

Born Again: Do you know what a church is? It's not just the religious building. The church is all those who have been saved. The church repairs this broken world.

(Born Again looks at the bowling bowls. He attempts to pick up a 16 pound ball, but quickly puts it back down when he realizes how heavy 16 pounds really is.)

Born Again: You know why I hate bowling, besides the fact that it is sinful heathen, devil work? Because it's a "you against the world" game. Its entire principle is built around the concept of not working together. In order for you to succeed, everyone else must fail. I have half a mind to become a professional bowler and dominate that sport, much like I have professional wrestling. That would teach them that bowling is evil and that everyone who bowls is damned to hell!

(A woman picking up a ball hesitates and kind of stares at Born Again, upon hearing his last line.)

Born Again: Yes, you. If you were wondering if you were different, you're not. I was talking about you.

Random woman: Whatever.

Born Again: Save the Ebonics. Salvation isn't found at the end of the lane. However...

(Born Again takes off his hat and holds it out to the woman.)

Born Again: ...you can get started on your salvation right away with a charitable donation.

(The woman shakes her head and walks off.)

Born Again: What did I tell you? Heathens, all of them. And 7-10, you're no different. You actually attack people with a bowling ball in the ring! That's cheating! The bible does not allow such evil ways! John 8:7! "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"! Clearly, since you are a sinner, as evidenced by your love of bowling, you should not be allowed to swing these boulders around a wrestling ring!

(A teenage kid walks up to Born Again.)

Born Again: Ah, a fan who wishes to be saved?

Kid: Nah, actually, I'm the manager on duty. We've gotten complaints that you tried soliciting money from one of our patrons, and we're going to have to ask you to leave.

Born Again: ...WHA? Soliciting? Requesting a charitable donation isn't solicitation. It's salvation! And I have just as much right to be here as anyone else!

Kid: Actually, you never actually paid...

Born Again: I am not here to bowl.

Kid: We have a "No Loitering" policy.

Born Again: Loitering? Loitering?!?! I do not partake in sinful loitering! I am here to help these huddled masses! I demand to speak to the manager!

Kid: ...I already told you I was the manager....

Born Again: You? Clearly you've never heard the Bible telling you to respect your elders.

Kid: Listen, could you please just leave...?

(The kid is clearly getting agitated and doesn't want to be in this conversation.)

Born Again: I see! So this is how it works! You deny the Lord and, in order to protect your establish of sin and evil, you kick out anyone who comes in and questions your vice grip of power over this place!

(Born Again climbs onto a chair.)

Born Again: ATTENTION PAGAN SINNING HEATHENS! I am being kicked out of this place, but you can join me outside and hear the Good Word. From there, you can make generous donations and make your freefall to Hell will end. Maybe you'll only get 2 to 3 million years of purgatory.

(Born Again storms out of the building.)

Born Again: Before my hordes of new followers arrive, I just want to say 7-10 that nothing you have done in this league or ever in your life is holy or even impressive. You are just a roadblock between me and my rightful spot at the top of this league and as the good right hand of the Lord, guiding the LVW to salvation or destruction, whichever I deem necessary to fulfill the Lord's divine will.

(Born Again wipes his brow, now that he is back out in the sun.)

Born Again: And don't think I have forgotten about you, J1D. No, we're not cool. You are a sinful, slothful, evil, crime committing failure of a champion and you're wearing the belt that *I* won. Your feet hit the floor. One of mine didn't. That's the fact. And instead, I have to jump through hoops to get a *CHANCE* to compete for the belt that I won? And that's what passes for acceptable here? Is that "totally gnarly", J1D? Is that "radical"? I am not shocked that you also like to bowl. The real question is do you like to do anything, anything at all, even slightly productive? When are you going to help your fellow man? When we meet, I am going to rid the LVW of the Just 1 Dude plague once and all. But for now, I need to tend to my sheep.

(Someone walks out of the bowling alley. Born Again approaches them with his hat off, apparently looking for a donation. They say something and walk by to their car and leave. Born Again shouts at their car.)

Born Again: FINE THEN, HEATHEN!

(Born Again turns back to the camera.)

Born Again: False alarm. My sheep must still be gathering up their things before leaving.

(The camera fades to black with Born Again quietly staring at the door of the bowling alley.)

 

[BarryClarkJr]

Re: 7-10 Vs Born Again

(Camera opens up to a cab pulling up to a local Las Vegas bowling alley. Seven-Ten Hudgins steps out wearing his khakis pants, Seven-Ten LVW/PBA style shirt. He pays the man, grabs his bags from the trunk and makes his way towards the bowling alley entrance. Camera follows Seven-Ten when all of the sudden a voice pops up)

STRANGE MAN: The unsaved person cannot understand God you know......

(All of the sudden Seven-Ten comes to a complete halt. Camera doesn't budge nor Seven-Ten. All of the sudden the man speaks again)

STRANGE MAN: You are a sinner under the condemnation of God's law.

(With the camera still on the back of Seven-Ten he drops his bags and slowly turns around to face the man)

SEVEN-TEN: There is nothing I'd rather do than to beat a strange man up in parking lot of this fine establishment. But the PBA may be subject to fine and penalize me. Besides I do have repeated violations. Who sent you? Born Again?

STRANGE MAN: You see friend, there is no religion involved here, ONLY Jesus. The big issue is that we are all sinners, and that sin must be dealt with. The Word of God indicts all of us as guilty sinners. Jesus wants to be our attorney and set us free. You must accept God's plea agreement in Christ Jesus, or stand trial at The Great White Throne of Judgment Thankfully, God offers us a full pardon by way of the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Amen!

SEVEN-TEN: I have no idea what in the hell you just said. I couldn't understand Born Again as well. All I want to know is......... can Jesus throw the heat down the sixty foot lane of ecstasy? Can he knock down 120 pins down in one game? No I don't think so. Can he even carry the LVW title? Nope. My sanction card for the LVW is good for a year and I plan on winning the LVW title very soon. Oh savior, if you can't hear the pin drop then something is definitely wrong with your bowling.

(Seven Ten then reaches down to his bag and pulls out his favorite ball 'Super-Freak')

Oh savior, pass the word onto Born Again for me will YA? Tell him they won’t be able to get enough of Seven-Ten in the Las Vegas. Those bible beaters love someone who’s been born again … and again … and again … and again …

(He then gets into the bowlers approach, kisses the ball, then rolls it down the road for no reason)

Jesus may love you, but everyone else thinks your an asshole.

(FADEOUT)

 

[CaptCongaLine]

The Spanish Acquisition

LAS VEGAS
WRESTLING
AND
BONAPARTE FILMS
PRESENT
THE
SPANISH
ACQUISITION


​

(FADEIN: A hotel room overlooks the wondrous Las Vegas Strip, dazzling lights and all. You can even smell the unique stench of hooker form the streets below. the camera swings around, spotting THE SPANIARD. Wearing a rather eloquent smoking jacket and his trademark red and white leather mask, he raises a martini to his dry mouth.)

SPANIARD: Beautiful, is it not? (sets the glass down) De lights. De people. De whole scene just brings a tingling sensation in between my loins, do you know what I'm saying?

You know what else is beautiful, my friends? I was thinking about it the other night in between sexual encounters with de finest pieces of tail anybody here in Vegas has never paid for -- then it hit me like a sack of goat bones.

The real beauty is the opportunity I have right here in front of me. As I look down at these people, at these lights, I cannot help but think about capturing the coveted LVW Heavyweight Championship and turning this town into my playground. Making these people...my followers. Making this dream a reality.

(The Spaniard takes another pull off of his martini. It looks amazing as it goes down with ease.)

SPANIARD: Now, sure, I could get much more wealthy by running my hand at de sluts -- sorry, de slots -- down in de lobby. Lord knows I probably will after a few more of these tings. (sips) De prize, sad to say, would be money, riches, and fortunes. I am looking for something much, much more adventurous. Something I can call...mine. Something gold, red, and shines under de spotlight...

(EXTREMEZOOM: A coy smile begins to creep from underneath the mask as The Spaniard locks eyes with the camera and sets down the empty glass.)

And I know just where to find it.

To Be Continued...

 

[kimaesha]

Re: Captain Vs Olvir

more more more!!



____________________________________

las vegas hoover dam tours

 

[BarryClarkJr]

Real Champion.

(Camera opens up to a wrestling autograph show somewhere in Las Vegas. Seven Ten Hudgins is sitting at a table signing pictures of his LVW wrestling picture and another picture of him getting in the face of Walter Ray Williams Jr during a bowling game. A wrestling convention and he is dressed up in his bowling gear and also brought his rolling bag with balls. His young college follower and aspiring film maker Michael is along tapping everything. Hudgins then pics up the PBA picture for a young female friend)

SEVEN TEN HUDGINS: What is your name MA'AM?

FEMALE FAN: Genevieve.

SEVEN TEN HUDGINS: How do you spell?

FEMALE FAN: G........E.....

(Michael still holding the camera in from of Seven Ten at the table interrupts the young lady and begins to spell it out for him as he writes her name out)

MICHAEL: G......E......N.....E.......V.....I......E.....V......E!

SEVEN TEN HUDGINS: Where are you from Genevieve?

FEMALE FAN: Reno Nevada.

SEVEN TEN HUDGINS: Reno Nevada, my number place in the world. I become three time PBA champion there in the most famous stadium in the world, The National Bowling Stadium. I was born a real bowler but now I made it to the LVW to become the champion. Everybody knows LVW is number one in the world and so is Seven Ten Hudgins. 300 all day, everyday.

FEMALE FAN: Did you beat him?

SEVEN TEN HUDGINS: Of course! I was champion before that hambone, crustache looking mother Walter Ray Williams Jr. DON'T EVEN ASK ME AGAIN IF I BEAT HIM OR NO! OR ELSE YOU DON'T GET YOUR PICTURE! SEE SHOW HER MICHAEL. YYYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH.....

(Seven Ten holds up the picture to the cameraman Michael)

FEMALE FAN: Ohhhh I'm sorry.

SEVEN TEN HUDGINS: No problem Genie. Don't insult me! Don't tell me if I BEAT........BBBBBBEEEEEEE.........WALTER RAY WILLIAMS JR IS A GAY!

(Seven Ten Hudgins signs the picture and hands if over to the female fan)

SEVEN TEN HUDGINS: Genie, don't lose this picture.

FEMALE FAN: Oh I won't.....


(FADEOUT)

 

[LQJT86C]

Gotta Come Original, Brah

(FADEIN: Walking barefoot through the city streets of Las Vegas, dragging his LVW Championship belt alongside and just above the pavement, is J1D. Sweat is dripping from his brow and the corners of his mouth are bloodstained. Hair is messy, face is filled out with five o'clock shadow)

J1D: (breathing heavy) BRAH!!!! You see what happened tonight?! My mood was drippin' with mondo goodness when I stepped into the arena sporting some wicked LV-Dub threads, supporting the company that SUPPORTS-ME...and then what happens dude? A couple-a toads jump me when all I was doing was reffing their stupid match!!

Nar dude, you want this belt? (shakes it at the camera) You gotta come original, brah, and assaulting your friendly neighborhood ref ain't comin' original.

Me and Born Again are gonna get our barnie on, if it's the last wave I ever shred in the Dub. But for now? 7-10 Hudgins is gonna have to eat my ass with a side of bacon, 'cause that clown just pissed off the wrong brosef! See, this dude doesn't draw his energy from the copper of a collection plate, or the sound of black balls smacking long white pins...I get amped for gnarley adventures in the ring every time the crowd chants for J-1-D, and that type of lucid electro-vibe energy is the NECTAR OF THE GODS, maharashi! You can't stop it, you can't contain it...broligarch doesn't even know what to DO WITH IT...

Bottom line...this wave can't be burnt, and it's surfing into Showdown with a killer vengeance. I'm head dippin' the break of the water to an epic victory...

I TRIED smokin doobs with ya, brah...

I TRIED inviting you to play hackey sack with me and the broletariats...

I even tried going home...

But nar, you assclowns just had to weez on my juice, didn't you?? I don't even care man...7-10, Born Again, gimme whoever...cause with the gnarley righteousness of the Vegas crowd behind me, there ain't no way I'm leavin' this shanty empty handed...Peace brah...


(FADEOUT)

 

[The Great Eye]

King Of Las Vegas Tournament (3 RP Max)

Check the line up for the brackets, but Rp against everyone. Winner of the tournament gets an LVW Championship match on a card before or on the next "Mega Show"

 

[The Great Eye]

LVW Championship Match

Triple Threat Match (First pinfall or submission wins) "The Lords Rules"

J1D <c> Vs '7-10' Hudgins Vs Born Again